maga is a domestic abuser – Scottie's Playtime

I have sorrowed in confusion and anger watching those who profess themselves to be Christian and speaking with those who say that they love God confidently support the very worst in humanity. I have impotently stood by as those who say they are Saved celebrated the wonton destruction of life, of home, of health, of community and future suffered by those whom the ravagers declare lacking. It has been a shattering of my Faith to see those tragedies encouraged, applauded and justified by the very same who share a pew and who stand behind a pulpit.

In the last decade and more, we have all found ourselves faced with the loud declarations of pastors and congregants who believe themselves wise attacking the struggling, the different, the ‘stranger’ and believing themselves righteous in their condemnation. It has been difficult for me to hold to love for those being so inhumane, especially for family and friends of whom we thought better.

I was taught better than to do that in my Church, in my Sunday School and in my Confirmation Classes. I was told that was just who were meant to be. I wanted to believe it. The Reality of my life hurt and I needed to believe that there was some-thing, some-where better. I needed to know that the failures in my life, the struggles in my heart and in my mind, were not my definition, my destruction. I was failing in Faith because of my own limitations and realities, but I held onto Hope. I held onto that Hope that Something Better would come.

Hope is a difficult word. Prisoners hold onto hope that Freedom will come. The Sick hold onto hope that a cure will be discovered. The Hungry hope in Finding their needs met. The Hurt and Abused hold onto hope that someone will come to save them. Hope holds out a hand, praying that someone will come to be with them and believe they are worthy of life, of love. Hope looks into the mirror and begs for a better existence, strives for a better life, makes better choices and dreams of better days.

In my adult years, I’ve heard the church talk not about Hope but about Faith. Faith is described as the assurance that all has been done, the Price has been paid, the Contract is signed and no more needs to be done. I’ve heard the church talk about being justified by Christ, that sins are washed clean, and yet at the same time I hear that same church talk about the filthy, the sinful, the unworthy. In short, they claim forgiveness due to their faith and judge others for their sin. Such “faith” has brought them arrogance, impudence and presumption that calling themselves “christian” and sitting in a pew on Sunday justifies ugliness and hate.

I believe. I want to believe. I want that “unbudging” Faith that allows me to stand before the mirror, maybe one day before God. But, part of that faith was imparted to me by the church, one that willingly stands in judgement for the destruction of those who don’t love the same, live the same, believe the same. It holds a congregation of those who would condemn, deny, celebrate the pain their greed engenders. And so, my Faith is broken. I hold onto Hope.

-randy

I recently watched a fantastic TED video, and I really do invite everyone to watch. It’s about 20 minutes and is here: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBnocNg69o4). In this TedTalk, Miles Taylor talks about how he went to Washington DC as a young page to dedicate his life to never allowing another 9-11 type event. Then came Trump, and his simple opposition to trump’s policies and procedures garnered trump accusing him of being a traitor, death threats to him, his wife, his baby daughter. As I watched this, I thought about my own concerns and experiences including the near violent responses I’ve heard from otherwise decent people who couldn’t respond with decency when defending trump. Says it all, doesn’t it?

But, it got me to ask a simple question to Google, and I was really surpised by the answer. I asked: are maga responses to criticism similar to domestic abuse?

It became clear that I am not the only one to see the uncomfortable parallel. The following is the copy/paste answer Google offered:

Psychological and political experts, as well as abuse survivors, have drawn notable parallels between the defensive communication tactics used by the MAGA movement and the behavior patterns of domestic abusers. Both rely on emotional manipulation and coercive control to maintain power and invalidate critics.

These parallels include tactics such as:

Gaslighting: Denying established facts or public statements, making followers and the public question their own memory or sanity.
DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender): When criticized, the immediate response is to deny the allegation, attack the critic’s credibility, and claim that the MAGA figure or movement is actually the victim.
Isolation: Portraying mainstream media, political opponents, and dissenters as corrupt or enemies, actively encouraging followers to cut off alternative perspectives and only trust the movement.
Minimizing and Dismissing: Downplaying the severity of concerning behavior—or even downplaying physical and sexual abuse allegations as mere “allegations” or “smears”.
Projection: Accusing critics or the opposition of the exact wrongdoing or corruption that they themselves are currently facing.

I’ve realized that I remain quiet in response to people ranting about their great and wise leader’s latest spite-filled fact-barren public embarrassment. In truth, I’m not terribly concerned about being the victim of violence, but do I really want the aggravation? I’ve realized, much to my embarrassment, that I’ve become another one of the silent majority; those who would not accept violence and abuse but only speak up in a safe environment. And, as Miles Taylor mentioned, it is the silent majority that make the abuse possible.

Is this cowardice? Is this simple self-preservation? Or, have I just become accustomed to the abusive caustic environment that the rise of trump has brought to our country? I’d like to say it is the latter, but damn. This is our reality now, but is that how I want to live? Is that even healthy?

I’ve come to realize that we are in a toxic relationship with those we love: our fellow countrymen. And, while some would say this is ridiculous, here are some questions that I’ve found to indicate one is in such a dangerous place:
Sometimes feel scared of how your partner may behave?
Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?
Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?
What the hell has happened to us?!

What is worse is that due to the unhinged response we receive when we attempt to ask questions and hope for better, the defensiveness of his followers shut it down. The result is that this clown can do any illegal act and any restraint is met with calls for violence and abuse. Further, abusers abuse so that they can continue to abuse — meaning — having the power to abuse is not going to be willingly given up.

This Country has had problems from the beginning, fighting amongst ourselves and outright abusing people on the shores of our great nation. But we have always had the hope of moving toward a more perfect union. I don’t feel that anymore. I find myself feeling the destruction of deeply held ideals, like the Primacy of the Constitution and the idea that No One Is Above The Law. Am I just being naïve? Is this how Medgar Evers felt? Is this how Sitting Bull felt? I don’t know, but I do not feel that expectation of something better to come anymore. I feel like once abuse has become acceptable in this union, once those diseased claws have sunk into the marrow….