Tag: maga is a domestic abuser

Conversation Starter: MAGA Responses Similar to Domestic Violence

I recently watched a fantastic TED video, and I really do invite everyone to watch. It’s about 20 minutes and is here: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBnocNg69o4). In this TedTalk, Miles Taylor talks about how he went to Washington DC as a young page to dedicate his life to never allowing another 9-11 type event. Then came Trump, and his simple opposition to trump’s policies and procedures garnered trump accusing him of being a traitor, death threats to him, his wife, his baby daughter. As I watched this, I thought about my own concerns and experiences including the near violent responses I’ve heard from otherwise decent people who couldn’t respond with decency when defending trump. Says it all, doesn’t it?

But, it got me to ask a simple question to Google, and I was really surpised by the answer. I asked: are maga responses to criticism similar to domestic abuse?

It became clear that I am not the only one to see the uncomfortable parallel. The following is the copy/paste answer Google offered:

Psychological and political experts, as well as abuse survivors, have drawn notable parallels between the defensive communication tactics used by the MAGA movement and the behavior patterns of domestic abusers. Both rely on emotional manipulation and coercive control to maintain power and invalidate critics.

These parallels include tactics such as:

  • Gaslighting: Denying established facts or public statements, making followers and the public question their own memory or sanity.
  • DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender): When criticized, the immediate response is to deny the allegation, attack the critic’s credibility, and claim that the MAGA figure or movement is actually the victim.
  • Isolation: Portraying mainstream media, political opponents, and dissenters as corrupt or enemies, actively encouraging followers to cut off alternative perspectives and only trust the movement.
  • Minimizing and Dismissing: Downplaying the severity of concerning behavior—or even downplaying physical and sexual abuse allegations as mere “allegations” or “smears”.
  • Projection: Accusing critics or the opposition of the exact wrongdoing or corruption that they themselves are currently facing.

I’ve realized that I remain quiet in response to people ranting about their great and wise leader’s latest spite-filled fact-barren public embarrassment. In truth, I’m not terribly concerned about being the victim of violence, but do I really want the aggravation? I’ve realized, much to my embarrassment, that I’ve become another one of the silent majority; those who would not accept violence and abuse but only speak up in a safe environment. And, as Miles Taylor mentioned, it is the silent majority that make the abuse possible.

Is this cowardice? Is this simple self-preservation? Or, have I just become accustomed to the abusive caustic environment that the rise of trump has brought to our country? I’d like to say it is the latter, but damn. This is our reality now, but is that how I want to live? Is that even healthy?

I’ve come to realize that we are in a toxic relationship with those we love: our fellow countrymen. And, while some would say this is ridiculous, here are some questions that I’ve found to indicate one is in such a dangerous place:
Sometimes feel scared of how your partner may behave?
Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?
Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?
What the hell has happened to us?!

What is worse is that due to the unhinged response we receive when we attempt to ask questions and hope for better, the defensiveness of his followers shut it down. The result is that this clown can do any illegal act and any restraint is met with calls for violence and abuse. Further, abusers abuse so that they can continue to abuse — meaning — having the power to abuse is not going to be willingly given up.

This Country has had problems from the beginning, fighting amongst ourselves and outright abusing people on the shores of our great nation. But we have always had the hope of moving toward a more perfect union. I don’t feel that anymore. I find myself feeling the destruction of deeply held ideals, like the Primacy of the Constitution and the idea that No One Is Above The Law. Am I just being naïve? Is this how Medgar Evers felt? Is this how Sitting Bull felt? I don’t know, but I do not feel that expectation of something better to come anymore. I feel like once abuse has become acceptable in this union, once those diseased claws have sunk into the marrow….