We Are The Ones

Checking In; Love Is The Ultimate Resistance!

🫶 💖 🌻 ☮

Hi, there. I bet everyone who reads and writes here, is unhappy and at least a little apprehensive about the state of the USA. Everywhere we turn, there is another story of an illegal and outrageous action that our current administration has ordered our government to perform. So, I’m also certain I’m not the only one who feels the USA is in living nightmare territory. And then, we being who we are, we are also informed as to how the entire planet is undergoing increasing violence to itself and to people everywhere. Meanwhile, all that could be dissonant with our immediate surroundings, which increases the anxiety and/or whichever symptom/s we may have going.

For instance, while Ollie and I were outside playing this evening, we heard a great deal of “show-offy” driving in our area. Tonight’s high school game is Homecoming, which is celebrated by the town for a couple of days prior to the game, then the students get their celebration during half-time and after the game. Some of those students I had when they were kindergarteners and up, in the after-schools where I worked. Also, many alumnae have their reunions over Homecoming weekend. Fall Fest happens tomorrow and Sunday morning. Among other things, there are apple cider slushies at Fall Fest! So there is more traffic, and the younger people drive as if they’re Masters of the Universe (some of the old guys, if they have a muscle car to show off, drive just like that, too!) A person can almost forget about everything negative except hoping that no one is injured in the game, and that no one drives impaired tonight. A nice, relaxing evening, going into the night.

Then the other reality comes that some of the people who are here will not have a job to work on Monday, or a student won’t have a para, a nurse’s aide will be overworked and underpaid, and so on. Some of it due to the federal shutdown, or shutdown “related” cuts, some due to cuts that have been ongoing since January. Prices are still high; my own city has not cut services but has not replaced personnel who have moved on, so services are affected negatively for people who live here; more cities than not have done the same. It’s always something, everywhere. It’s a lot, and it’s overwhelming. And there are still the good and nice things happening within miles of us, or next door, or our own homes, too. It’s enough to explode a head!

So I thought I’d write in. None of us is alone. Everyone is at least stressed, so first, I want to check on people, see how you’re doing, see if you want to vent in comments, or ask questions, or share whatever you care to share. I know it’s a little late, at least on the East coast, but, well, this’ll be here all weekend.

I’ll share a little bit of a way to maybe work with/around what’s happening in everyone’s world. There is a saying: “Do small things with great love.” It may sound too easy, but it’s really not-it’s exactly what we all need: to show love and show how to show love so that everyone catches a ripple and does it, too. Most of us can do little if anything about the world-wide violence, but waving at our neighbor, offering a hello at the store or someplace, and simply smiling at people while looking at them will make a difference. And doing these things is actually being part of the resistance. Love is the ultimate resistance!

Finally, interestingly, when we do small things with great love, it’s almost as if someone did that for us, too, even if they really didn’t! It’s amazing how it works, but it does.

So, I hope everyone rests easily tonight, and gets some early sunshine when we get up. Enjoy the view at a local river side, and some chalk art I did during the pandemic.

My Last Days in Reality

I’m not sure how to begin this tale. It seems like a fruitless endeavor, a constant push that yields little result but loss. I’ve watched the company I came to as an opportunity for a new start some five years ago slowly dwindle through decreasing ups and increasing downs to the point that I find myself frustrated with an inability to keep up with the disappointments.

These images I use are meant to be hyperbolic, nonetheless, they do well to express this lament, my own and others in this country, that I’m losing the fight.

The past weeks have seen our shop lose half of our workers due to layoffs, and more to leaving the fight to better opportunities elsewhere even as I am also dealing with reduced pay.

I thought I would learn so much at this job, and I have – though not quite the way I’d hoped, and not the things I’d hoped. And, now… Now I find that I am faced with a decision to fight the good fight and do what I can to save this floundering vessel, or am I committing slow suicide riding a sinking ship.

I am faced with the question of who is owed my loyalty? When the stone reaches the tipping point, do I push harder or do I get out of the impact zone? Our jobs are more than a way to put beans on the table; it is our identity, our productivity, our impetus to face the day and the very slings and arrows of life. I’ve sacrificed blood, sweat, tears, agility, health and a great deal of my sanity. Now I wonder if I’m too old, too broken down and jaded to begin anew.

These are the thoughts that have ravaged my spirit these past weeks. Some days reality sucks, the sky is dark and storms rage, but does that define my life or does it just describe my moment?

So, now, here I sit. A generally frugal nature and a number of blessings in my life has allowed me to realize some things: I’m not going to starve, I’m not going to be homeless, I’m just going to have a bit more time. The horror of being forced to deal with many of the things I just didn’t have the time or energy for earlier!!! So, no, I’m not worried for me. And, if I am so fortunate to ride out this storm I will be better for the opportunity to care for the things I’ve allowed to wallow in neglect. But, I very much do worry for those who will truly suffer under our Dear Leader.

-randy

Eternal Sunshine

Several years ago I participated on a social-ish health website named Sparkpeople (it’s not out there anymore. If it is, it isn’t the same one. Anyway.) A gentle friend who battled weight gain and depression told us one day about a phone app called “Eternal Sunshine.” It sends out daily (sometimes not as often) affirmation messages, just to sort of pat a person on the back and remind them that they’re enough. Here is today’s, because maybe someone can use it:

“The best thing you can do for yourself is to give yourself grace. Falling is not failing; it’s learning to fly. Forgive your mistakes, and look forward to trying again.”

It’s just that many times, this little app sends exactly the message I need when it arrives. I’m OK on this so far today, so maybe somebody else needs it, and here it is. Fly!

’tis True.

Same with watching a pet hedgehog eat watermelon, which is also out there on YT somewhere. Meanwhile, this is right here. 17% lower is a good thing. Watch it 2x!

Well, OK Then …

Sunlight and Butterflies, or Some S–t Like That

It has struck me that we need a reduce-stress-be-in-the-moment-self-care sort of thing. Some of us have chronic conditions, some are recovering from surgery, some of us are physically fine other than great stress that may be getting the better of us, and some of us may have a combination of some or all, or even something else. I’m pretty sure we’re all aware of tools, but sometimes things are so worrying that we forget about that, as we urgently try to fix things, or even submit to our brains’s workings with cortisol and fear and what all. So. I don’t know what, if any of this, might help someone, but I gotta try. So here’s what’s likely gonna be a long post, with a mixed bag of stuff. Actually, I think it may turn into 2 separate posts, because I see I’ve only got one item covered, and it’s already post-length. So there may be Part 2. And maybe yet another one.

I think I should first refer people to the hotlines where professionals want to and can help. Maybe someone thinks they don’t need or want to call, or maybe someone thinks they’re not there yet. It’s just good to have the resource at hand, is all. Some gain strength from knowing they can call. So, of course, there’s 911, or whatever the 3 digit emergency number is where you live. Then, more specifically, there are numbers for mental health assistance, like 988 where you can text Q to 988 if you want an LGBTQI+ affirming counselor. National Domestic Violence Hotline , (800) 799-7233. Crisis Text Line ,Text HOME to 741741. National Sexual Assault Hotline , (800) 656-4673. SAgE’s Farmer Support Hotline , 833-381-SAGE. Veterans Crisis Line , 988, then PRESS 1 Text 838255, Chat online. Much more at https://www.apa.org/topics/crisis-hotlines . Also, https://glaad.org/resourcelist/ . No doubt I’ve missed something, so please put it in comments.

I will share a bit about myself here. I’ve been diagnosed with generalized anxiety. Could be brain chemistry, could be that my life has not been a calm flow, both, something else. Whatever it is, I have it. Having treated and therapized, I know which tools work for me, and I use them, sometimes unconsciously. Anyway, I don’t like seeing people having trouble, or being troubled, or being hungry, sick, cold, hot, traumatized by war, etc., etc. My mindset has always been to do all I can to fix. Mostly to fix things immediately for the people I’m trying to help, but also the bigger working to fix. We’ve all seen my posts where I’ve shared some of the issues and items on which I work.

The thing about that is, it helps me to feel like I’m doing something that can help somebody else. It overrides anxiety and introversion when I have a reason to be “bothering” people for the greater good.

In regard to current events stress, which is weighing on all people everywhere, there are many of us around the world who are able to do just that one thing that seems so tiny-an hour on the phone, say-to make a difference, and reduce our concerns and stress. So, here is the volunteer page for the Harris-Walz campaign: https://go.kamalaharris.com/ . They still need people to make calls. Making calls to voters in other states is one of my favorite parts of helping a campaign! With a cell phone it’s almost cost and pain-in-the-neck free. Again, I’m aware of various medical issues around the commentary; that’s why I say even one hour will help the campaign, and will also help us. In addition or instead of this, one could contact campaigns of legislative candidates, like Sen. Brown, Sen. Baldwin, Rep. Sharice Davids, Colin Allred, and so many more. An hour of calls will help. And, again, you will feel better having spoken with people to further the greater good.

Now calling is a thing I’m putting forward. To me, it’s personal for each of us, what and how much we’re doing about the stress of the things in the world. I neither need nor want to know if/what anybody’s doing. I’m only putting this out as a thing from which to take our power, to put our power to work.

Since this is this long, I’ll put the first post I read this morning, it inspired me. It’s good-one of those things I needed to read, though I didn’t know it until I got started. It reminded me that while I didn’t necessarily learn or have these experiences in the same way or as early in life, I know these things, and I can do them when needed. I bet we all do, and can. I’m going to share a goodly snippet, but we should read it all if we can. Then, I’ll stop for lunch, then bring back another post part. Well, unless any- or everyone comments that they’re good, and please no more! 🌞 😄 And now from Vixen Strangely:

Maybe We Will Just Protect Ourselves

I tell this about myself because its true and a little weird, but when I was small, my dad taught me how to hook my fingers up and around an eyeball in its socket–just in case I ever had to. I knew what a xyphoid process was at six years old. I knew where to drive the heel of my hand into a human nose. I was taught that I didn’t have the physical strength advantage in life, so I had to have the will. I was taught that you have to walk in awareness. I was taught you watch your drink. I was taught to carry improvised weapons. I was taught to see the world in terms of potential improvised weapons.

I was taught this because some boys never get told what they should never try. Or get told but don’t really learn it. (You don’t use your knee–it’s inexact. You grab them by it. You can squeeze and disrupt a generation of losers. And I never had to do any of that. Not once. Because it’s really only a small percentage of men who are actual monsters–most are reasonable and not actual sociopaths. I like men, really. They are interesting enough and some have valuable skills. They care for the people around them and often are smarter than they think they are. It’s a confidence issue. When you are told to value muscle over brain, you know.)

I was raised to think, more or less, there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do. Math, science, art, politics. Sports. And it simply never occurred to me women were just out there, somewhere, either not voting because their husbands said they couldn’t or voting for exactly what their husbands told them to, until I heard about that in my early adulthood–because why? That’s crazy: we’re fully-fledged adult people, right? Even if I knew I was born just before Roe and just before women generally could even get credit in our own names.

I’ve been married twice. The idea of a man not knowing what he’s even getting politically going into a relationship is weird to me–this is me. We are talking politics. You don’t know me and not know my politics.

I was told to put in the work. Show it. Show up. I learned how to put a little bass in my voice. I learned respect is earned, not one time, but every time.

Donald Trump never had to earn the respect that he has from the bottom up, in any environment where respect wasn’t just his for showing up. Women can see through it. Do you not see his relationship with Jeffery Epstein? The couple dozen claims of sexual harassment or assault? How he speaks about women all the time? The religious right (that he has allied with) desire to end no-fault divorce and the grinning sadist desire to monitor our menses and try to punish us for our fertility and even stop us from travelling to other states to save our lives? (snip-More)