12 thoughts on “Eli-VA | Brains Of Trans People And Culture | Talk Heathen 06.36

  1. Hello Ali. I found the female host knew a lot on the subject. What I also thought when watching it was they are both trans, yet in red states the republican anti-trans haters have passed laws that would force each of them to use a public restroom that visually they wouldn’t fit in. It simply causes more trouble. If people would just stop minding other people’s business and just do what the bathroom is for, using the facilities to relieve yourself when needed. But on the brains and studies I found the information they provided interesting because I have read the same parts of that information. The brain is very much triggered gender wise by the chemicals of the body. Gender and what we associate with what we assume belongs to that gender is cultural / sociological. We have created these roles and boxes to fit people into. What we understand is that in the past we were wrong on what we thought the limits of each gender is capable or should be doing, and the truth is I think we would be far better off to simply get rid of the idea of gender / gender stereotypes / gender roles. We don’t have any need for them anymore, it only was used to support a patriarchal society where the female gender was thought to be weaker and needed to submit to the rule of the male gender. It was created to give more rights to one gender and take them from the other. We understand the issue far better than our ancestors so we shouldn’t be stuck using their terms and rules. Hugs.

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    1. I know you will disagree but IMO, this part of your comment — If people would just stop minding other people’s business and just do what the bathroom is for, using the facilities to relieve yourself when needed. is looking at the situation from a MALE POV.

      Let’s consider it from another POV … the trans-woman (who still has male equipment) needs to use a public restroom to relieve “herself”. He/she goes into the Women’s restroom, enters the stall, and takes care of matters and exits.

      On the other hand, biological females often need to use a public restroom to take care of very personal hygiene issues. They are not always there to just “relieve” themselves … and knowing that a “trans woman” is sharing the same space could create considerable discomfort for some women.

      IMO, if this phenomenon is going to continue to grow and become a major part of society, perhaps it would be appropriate for restrooms to be set aside for trans folk. Obviously they accept each other.

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      1. Hello Nan. Before we explore your scenario, I would say the idea of trans only bathrooms is really not the way to handle the issue. In most of the buildings built in my area in the last decade or so all bathrooms are unisexual. all bathrooms have one set of facilities and all of them have everything either sex would need including most have a changing table for an infant.

        I want to explore your scenario as I think it is important. Funny thing I am listening to a video of a trans women being interviewed about bathroom use on the other screen. I paused it as I want to give you / this my complete attention.

        You say that biological females often need to use a public restroom to take care of very personal hygiene issues. They are not always there to just “relieve” themselves … and knowing that a “trans woman” is sharing the same space could create considerable discomfort for some women. I am not going to ask what that is but think I know, but what I will ask is do you do that in a stall or in the open area next to the sink?

        Because if it is in a stall, you honestly don’t know who is coming in and leaving. You don’t know unless you hear a door opening which most places the doors don’t make sound, you wouldn’t know unless you heard voices, and the most important way you would know if someone else entered is if you heard the stall door near yours rattle and / or close. Now the normal human reaction sitting in a strange place with your pants down to having anyone sit on the other side of a wall with a floor gap is to be uncomfortable … regardless of the sex of who is there. It could be another biological female and in that situation you would still be uncomfortable. Am I correct? I know most men are uncomfortable because some men don’t have a good diet and regular bowel movements so that can cause a lot of discomfort to anyone in the surrounding area, even extended surrounding areas. 🙄😫

        So to add to this that what if a trans person was to use the bathroom then, my question is how would you know they were trans if you are in a stall and they are in a stall? Not to put too fine a point on it you wouldn’t. It doesn’t matter if they are in the stall before you go in or the reverse. Now you may both walk into the bathroom at the same time and peel off towards different stalls. Do you normally when going into the bathroom look over anyone else walking into the room with you to see if they are looking female enough? Do you judge other women on how feminine they appear? Because I know some biological females that would look right at home in the men’s bathrooms.

        Nan my point is this is a media driven issue that the right has created to cause a problem that did not exist. Passing trans people have been using the gender bathrooms they identify with for centuries and no one cared. It is only now that the right is trying to rile people up and cause hate to trans people that they are creating this idea that you are unsafe and uncomfortable with a trans person in the bathroom. First it was men are going to be peering and raping your little girl daughter. They couldn’t ever find a case of that happening so now it is more just hey doesn’t it creep you out an icky trans person might be in here with you …

        I do look forward to your analysis of what I wrote. I am writing from my perspective as you say, a gay male who during my time in Germany has been in open gender bathrooms doing my business with both men and women and was unbothered by it. And this was in the 1980s. That is why I say this is a created issue to rile people and get them upset. Hugs

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        1. I have written several versions of a response to you, but deleted all of them. I really don’t care to go into the topic in any depth since it’s obvious we are not in alignment. Just accept that I am not at the point that you are on this subject. And I may never be.

          I do want to add something, however. I disagree with you that that this is an “issue to rile people and get them upset.” I honestly believe there are individuals who are simply uncomfortable with this movement. Yes, religious thinking may enter in, but I don’t think that’s the only reason. It isn’t with me. However, I DO agree that politicians are making a “big deal” of it. But that’s the nature of the beast. If it’s wasn’t this, it would be something else.

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          1. Hello Nan. Thank you for your reply. I want to be careful in my reply because I respect your feelings and I think they are important. I do not want to seem dismissive of your concerns. Especially as I am male and may not have the same understandings you do as a female. Before I continue I want to say I think this conversation is important for the people reading along that are not commenting, they are learning from both of us. But if you would rather we can take this private by email. It is something I offer because I respect you and feel you are honest with your feelings on this issue.

            So I will not answer here but will wait until I hear if you want me to answer here or in private by email. The things I would like to talk about are of course your feelings and what you have issues with, but also:

            1. You are not at the point I am and may never be. That is OK, you are on your journey of understanding, and we all move at a different pace. The important thing is you are trying to understand and engaging to learn I feel.
            2. Is anything I said in the scenarios above wrong? I have used public bathrooms both as a school kid which we all did, as a boarding school kid where I lived in a dorm with other boys and we used communal showers and large open toilet / sink facilities, and as a person in the military in the barracks some which were co-ed, and in my life now as an older disabled man which is infrequent but occasionally needed. Now as I said unless on a trip at a rest stop all the public bathrooms I use are single person type facilities and all are unisex. So I really am curious if I don’t understand how women’s bathrooms differ from those I used in my life.

            3. You moved beyond the political drive to upset and rile up a base, which I can provide examples like a governor saying there is no trans person in schools in the state but we have to implement anti-trans laws, to states trying to prevent adult trans people from trying to change their sex on their legal documents, but you went to the religious aspect. I think that is a great subject to explore relative to a secular society, but you dismiss that as the “only” (by which I think you mean major reason) and that other reason you refer to is the one I think is important and would love to talk about. Because a reason to disagree or even agree with something is based on something, and those things can be addressed. They can be reasonably talked about to see if they hold up to reason or if they are just an emotional bias that is unreasonable. That is something I love to do.

            4. Your last point about politicians making political points of this. Quickly I will say you are correct but it was never this openly hateful since the white’s war on blacks in the years of civil rights fights. I feel this is the civil rights fight of our age. In the 1950s / 1960s the white reaction to blacks with all the emotion and false misinformation is the same tactics and emotion against trans people today. Same rhetoric but now it is not skin color but gender. Back then it was be scared a black person will use the bathroom with your daughter / wife, be scared because the black sports players will be better than the white ones so no whites will be able to win at a sport. These are the same fears just now with trans women instead of black skin. (notice is always trans women never trans men)

            Nan as I said I would love to talk about these things with you. To honor your feelings, we can do it privately at a slower pace over email or something like Skype or other messaging / text program you like, or we can do it here on the comments. Please let me know. Best wishes and hugs. Scottie

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            1. I think I’ve made it clear, Scottie, that I no longer wish to discuss this topic. Period. I respect your feelings and I believe you respect mine … so let’s leave it at that. ❤

              Thank you.

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                1. Hello Nan. This is a delayed response but had a visit with my pain doctor this morning. I explained what is happening, she checked my back and said what does the MRI say. I reminded her I have not had one since about 2018. She was upset. You need one every year as Medicare only pays every two years you need one every two years. I said I agree but I cannot order them, that comes from you. She came over and gave me a hug, and she apologized. It had escaped her, so I have to have an MRI as she thinks there has been more damage to my spine and that is why I am struggling with so much pain even with my medications. Now you ask why the MRI because it seems most of the pain is muscles, again due to the nerves being damaged in my spine in different ways, it activates the muscles to spasm or the pain to appear in a spot that it is not at. I have that a lot. So I explained the last month I can hardly sit and get stuff on the blog done, I do my walk and I am out of commission for the day, or like Friday when I made sauce / spaghetti supper I hurt so bad I couldn’t lift the pasta boiling water pot off the stove to drain it in the sink. Ron had to come help me. So we are making headway again. I know you wanted good news and in a way this is good news. Know the extra damage will let them better target my help. Hugs

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                2. Well, it sounds like SOME progress is being made. Fingers crossed that the MRI gives her a better idea of medication (or exercises?) that will help. It’s discouraging, however, that “it had escaped her.” Surely for someone like you that is in pretty much ongoing pain, she would have been on top of things. Oh well. Things are moving forward now and that is GOOD!

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                3. Hello Nan. The office was crazy today. Because of the laws / rules of the state of Florida, you cannot get your pain medication unless seen by a pain doctor / other doctor within the specified time frame. For example I have to see my pain doctor every two months to be able to fill my Morphine, tramadol, and baclofen. The rest they don’t care about. But morphine and Tramadol are considered opioids and the state legislatures know more than my doctors who specialize in these drugs on how they should be dispensed so that they can run advertisements during campaigns how they are tough on drug trafficking. Also pharmacies can not fill these medications without a call in from the patient unlike all my other medications which they either notify me or auto refill. Nope these medications are labeled so dangerous that they are tracked to the day and cannot be filled one day early, and the pharmacy must be contacted by the patient to ask for it to be filled unlike my other meds where the pharmacy either contacts me our auto fills them. It is a serious pain in the ass, and it is discriminatory also totally unnecessary but totally political. Side notes if I go on more expensive drugs than what I am on I wouldn’t fall under some of these rules as they were designed for opioids. Think big drug companies that don’t make much money anymore off morphine and tramadol are behind that? Anny way the waiting room was full and the office was packed because due to the hurricane and the due date time limits a lot of people needed to be seen to get their medications early because DeathSantis refused to lift the due date law with the state of emergency. So yes the providers were running late, it is a small office, and I was sitting there not minding but one guy was getting more and more vocal about how upset he was to have to wait. He was trying to get everyone upset and to get them complaining, but most of us understood the situation. Those of us with serious issues were very understanding. He did not seem to have real pain issue but was very entitled acting. When I was called about 15 minutes after arriving, he got really upset and demanded of me when my appointment was. I replied loudly “Well apparently it is now” while the medical assistant said “Hey, he is seeing a different provider than you”. She was worried I would be upset and said “Don’t let them beat you up it is not your fault “And I laughed as she was new and said, “No problem” as I showed her my axe head Viking cane “I don’t intend to”. I understood that everyone needed their dates changed, this was caused by the state maga assholes thinking they know more than medical providers, just like with abortion. So They changed my morphine date to several days earlier but it won’t affect me. I have lived in Florida a long time and I understand the issues so over time I have built up the cushion of medications needed to last me if there is an issue. But as I have said, I have had these issues growing ever worse most of my life so I have been in the system with these providers for nearly two decades. But it was upsetting to the staff what this guy was doing, and that people were agreeing with him. They did not realize how hard the staff was working just to try to get everyone seen. I got hugs from both the desk staff and the MA who checked me in and my doctor who when she came in (but that is normal, she started doing that when I was going through my self-harm stage back in the 2011 to 2015 and she was helping me deal with the issues of my childhood abuse), I said, ” take a few seconds and decompress, I can wait and you’re doing as much as you can as fast as you can, Oh and how is your husband”? She was so grateful, she told me she was so thankful for patients like me. I took that as a grand complement. I just don’t get upset about these issues. These people are working as hard as they can doing as much as possible for others and some jerks cannot tolerate it if they are not accommodated as soon as they think they are entitled. I bet the asshole was a republican. I have met and seen them in this office, they blame everyone but their own maga legislators. Sorry Nan, this got long, and I should have started with we talked again about surgery with her again telling me it wont work for me due to the fact my bone defects are growing and increasing over time, if they start cutting it will have to be done over and over every few years and wont really help my pain. The doctors I have had figure it will be more harmful over time than the program they have me on, which is to provide me with the best quality of life possible with my issues. Got to run, lots happening here as you might guess. Just got Odie back from the vet, they increased his insulin and he was angry already and was not happy with me sticking him again. Hugs

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