To nights supper and an apology.

Yesterday I had a relapse after nearly a week of feeling very energetic compared to lately.  Last night I went to bed early.  I had started an email to MDavis who sent me a beautiful, encouraging email and it has been three weeks but I was just feeling up to replying to them.  But today I had my yearly eye appointment with the same eye doctor who referred me to the eye surgery center for needed cataract surgery.  If anyone needs reminding that was a year ago when I was on the gurney with IVs in and eyes medicated but as they were about to take me into surgery the anesthesiologist stopped everyone to ask me questions.   She went over my medical list with me and then sadly said I take more heavy pain medications daily than she could give me during the operation.  That  would mean that I would have to have eye surgery without any sedation.  When I told her I was sensitive to anything near my eyes she told everyone to pause and she went to talk to the surgeon.  They agreed that I would need to go to a much larger surgery center that could put me under enough anesthesia that would knock me totally out.   

So today I saw the same eye doctor at a much bigger facility they had joined.  Long story short after the exam the doctor told me the bad news.  My current vision is far beyond what glasses could help with.  She was emphatic in saying I must get my cataract surgery done as soon as possible.  She went over everything with me and detailed why she couldn’t give me a prescription for glasses that would make it so I could see the computer, the phones, the Ipad, and see well enough to drive better.  At this point my vision is so bad they couldn’t even make the letters smaller than the largest ones they wanted me to read clear.  

She wanted to know why I had not followed up with their surgery center’s referral to the larger university run on in Naples as I was referred to.  I explained to her the horrifically emotional and financially draining year we had had.  She listened and when I explained Ron and I had decided his eyes needed to be done before mine as he has a torn lens and eye inflammation issues, she understood and agreed to take him on as a patient.  But she kept pushing for me to get my eyes done in the next 6 months.  She said she would send the referral, which was good for 6 months and it normally took that long to get set up with the facility and have the necessary visits.  She added that if in the 6th months I was not financially ready to do it the surgery center in Naples would extend my time to have it done.  But she again pushed that I did not have a lot of time to wait with my diminished vision.  She asked how I did my daily stuff and I explained to her I have my large desktop monitors set to 250 and that my browser is set to 110% which I take up to 130 some days.  I also showed her my two over the counter readers I have which one is 150 and the other is 175, which I use for my phone, tablet, and the computer monitors.  

I explained all this to Ron as we drove home.  He agreed to get an appointment with her to start his eye surgery but the closest appointment he could get was in August.  At which point he got upset with me and said we would have to move forward with my eye surgery even before his.   He went on at length about how he had noticed how I was struggling on the computers and with things I was trying to do.  He mentioned the lighted magnifying glasses I keep around to help me read stuff.  He mentioned how now I was having to have him read everything that came in mail and instructions to me.  He reminded me that when he asked me to help him set up his sister’s new electronic entry system on the house she just bought I had to have him do the actions as I explained it to him as I couldn’t see the key pad clearly enough even with a bright light on them.  Then he dropped the mother of all bomb shells on me which made me give in.   He wondered with my vision so bad how I well I was seeing to drive.  He was getting more and more upset.  As I don’t think he is a good driver and I think I am a far better driver I gave in.   So …

I said I would make supper.  I got my very tall adjustable stool out and offered to make fried eggs, fried potatoes, fried bacon, and fresh ham steak I cooked in a large frying pan of water.  All with a side of two slices of toast.  Ron loved the idea which stopped him from harassing me about my eyes.  I do love to cook and it was emotionally satisfying for me.  I was unable to eat much of mine but I did eat the potatoes along with all the ham I took, a strip of bacon and half a piece of toast.  But Ron ate most of what I couldn’t which is why he blames me for his current weight.  Picture below.   Hugs

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