I will be having surgery soon. I had a long visit with my pain doctor. She had studied my last set of MRIs. She also confered with the pain surgeon who I also see. Seems I have all the bad things a back can have. I have ruptured discs, herniated discs, and torn discs, but they hope that will heal, I have protruding discs, bulging discs. I have arthritis in the length of the spine. I also have a thickening ligament cord. If I want to walk again I have to have a procedure called MILD. The will put me under and then my current pain surgeon will make a 1-inch incision in my back and “shred” the ligament down to the proper size. I simply have no choice, it is this or the wheelchair and ever larger amounts of pain. They are not decreasing my pain medication my MRIs back them up, I have a limited quality of life now and would have none with less pain medication. Ron asked me to ask her the prognosis of where she saw me in the future with my issues. Because of the way my bones are thickening, thinning, and growing wrong, and the trauma of my childhood it will get worse. I will some day lose the ability to stand and walk. Unless things change even surgery to fuse the vertebra will not give me much relief and will cause me more issues. But I still have my computers and the grand people it lets me stay in touch with. Best wishes to all and hugs to those that want them. Scottie
Scottie's Playtime 
So sorry to hear all this, my friend . I will be thinking of you. I hope you his surgery gives you some relief from your constant pain. All of the physical pain piled on top of your wounded soul damaged by years of abuse, must be awful to live with. Let’s hope for the best. Keep me updated on everything, my friend.
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Hi Jeff. You are a kindred soul. I know you suffer the same ways I do. We both had those we couldn’t stop from hurting us badly. I often think of you, Kamyk, Suze and so many of the others who come here and are suffering with little hope of it getting better. But the fact that everyone keeps going, keeps trying, and refuses to give up gives me hope and strength. I think of Kamyk with no money and little help clawing his way out of a nursing home into an apartment and trying desperately to stay as best he can. I think of Suze who has accepted she is dying with dignity, vowing to enjoy what time she has. I remember you and your fears of losing the disability allowing you to live independently and what this administration is doing to both of us. So friend thank you for the support. I hope I can do the same for you. To give you hope and joy during your day. You have mentioned you like the memes, cartoons posts and I think of you often as I put them together. Hugs
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This sounds so incredibly painful. I am so sorry you have to endure these things and I am wishing you the very best outcome possible.
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Hi Kymber. Thank you. In 1996 I started struggling to walk. After a few months I woke one day and couldn’t control my right leg or stand. Long story short the bones in my upper right leg had died. So it was a couple of surgeries and 2 and a half years in a wheelchair. The surgeon I dealt with told me he knew I was badly abused in childhood due to the damage to my bones. Since then other bones started to die, some grew too thick while others got too thin. Then my spine started to get into the game. I have mishappen vertebrae that have grown spikes or got thin and broke. I have curvature of the spine. Plus all the stuff I wrote about. I have had to have my hips replaced. With my back as the spine itself weakened, the muscles tried to play spine to support me and protect the spine. That caused massive muscle issues and now the nerves are badly affected. I have been in and out of a wheelchair and I am so grateful when I can walk. So that is some of what I am dealing with.
Having written all that I want to say I am a very lucky individual. I servived childhood, I have a wonderful loving husband who I adore and who helps me as much as possible. I have good doctors and a roof over my head along with food in my belly. I try to remember that it could be so much worse for me. My first surgeon gave me some great advice. He said Scottie you can be miserable and make everyone around you unhappy. You won’t have a good life. Or you can make the best of this you can, don’t take your pain out on others, and you will have friends and people will want to be around you. I have followed that advice. Thanks again. Hugs
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That is awesome advice from the surgeon. I can’t imagine how difficult this has been for you, but I admire your mindset very much. I’m so grateful for your husband and how he understands and helps you. I’m sure you give him so much back, too.
Sending you lots of virtual hugs.
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Always hugs, Scottie. Always.
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Hi MDavis. Thank you. I started working on replying to your email but I got too tired to finish. I admit I am worried about the surgery. I also know that we have three surgeries coming up to pay for and that worries me. I jsut got all the credit cards paid off and it feels good to have a bit of extra money. It was hard work but I got it done. Now we will have to put these surgeries on the cards. Oh well at least we have the good credit to be able to do it. Hugs
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I appreciate you Scottie and I love your comments and answers.
But – now is a good time to focus on your health. I know I’ll hear from you when you get the time and space. so don’t sweat it.
Hugs!
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There is simply nothing to say about this, Scottie. I hope this gets done sooner rather than later, so can have some time that is better than what you’re undergoing. I read that there isn’t actual recovery, and that things will deteriorate again, but maybe some good time with less pain will help. Maybe you and Ron can at least get away and do something together, even. So here’s to getting this done soon, and being rehabbed to enjoy some decent time together. All my very best.
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Hi Ali. Thank you. I understand and have for a long time accepted this is my life. My fight has been to keep the ability to walk and stay out of the wheelchair. The big problem is the government requiring the lowering of the pain medications. First these are people either not in pain or using illegal drugs to cover their pain. But long ago I learned the rules. I will never be pain free. I only take enough pain medications to keep the pain low enough to be able to function, do things, and have a quality of life. Plus everyone has some pain. But because as my body got worse legislators with no medical experience but wanting to look tough on crime / illegal drug use passed laws requiring my pain medications to be reduced as my pain increased my life got worse. Double whammy. So it got to the point of no life, even to go out to eat is almost too painful. This will help for a while. Then we will try something else. But as I said above I try to remember how lucky I am. I survived my childhood when so many kids in my situation did not. I have a grand husband who helps me with everything. I have a roof over my head and food in my belly. I do have good doctors and can afford the medications I am prescribed. Plus I have my computers which let me post, read others posts, and have conversations with wonderful people such as yourself. Hugs
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Does anyone in politics understand that street corner drugs are not the same thing as prescriptions?
Bunch of dinguseses, those guys. They’re trying to look tough, I suppose, but I hope that everyone who knows someone living in pain because of their grandstanding realizes whose idea it was to torture people.
It’s the same people who have codified torturing and threatening the lives and health of women through trashing appropriate reproductive health care, isn’t it.
I heard a story of someone in a 12 step program being pressured by his fellow anonymous ones to throw out his anti depressants because they were drugs !!!1!
He used a bucket when he shot himself. Didn’t want to put anyone to too much trouble, I guess.
Entitle point – one of the ones that pressured him admitted in anonymous public that he was still using weed. Effin hypocrite without a medical license.
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