The last few days, I have been driving Ron from different stores to other places he wants to go. Yes he can still drive, but since the doctor talked to him about possible dementia he wants me to drive him everywhere. Plus I have caught him in several forgetful moments the last two days like forgetting to lock a door or forgetting to do something else important, he now shrinks like I hit him when I remind him of it.
It tears the shit out of me. I have never hit or abused Ron, but to see him cringe like I did as a child waiting for the blow … It is killing me. I find my self talking very gently around him, which then bothers him. I find myself checking up behind him like tonight he is cooking supper and I helped him get sauces out and small dishes. Then he noticed me checking the setting on the stove and oven.
That set him off, you don’t trust me. My response was Ron love you asked me what stuff we should get out and have with our supper. I feel this is a rollercoaster I am not prepared for as with my own memories of abuse hitting I go in and out of that same roller coaster. I can not have two of us cycling at the same time.
I have changed how I do my pills so it is clear and no doubt when I take them. I have added a note suggested by Suze to my desk reminding me to take my evening insulin. Again thanks to Suze I added a phone alarm to both Ron’s phone and mine that alert him to take his pills. It worked today, as I walked around trying to figure out why that sound was playing and Ron told me … it is time for me to take my pills.
Right now this is the best I can do. To say I am worried or scared is a large understatement. Please keep suggestions coming. Hugs
Oh a major issue has developed with my computers that I need to dump them and reset them to fix. But not today, not now, and hopefully I have a few days to do it. Tomorrow morning I have to get up at 5AM to get us ready for Ron’s brain scan first thing in the morning. Love to all that care about us, best wishes for all, and hugs for those that want them. Scottie
