If you can’t find the strength to take a stand, at least lie down.
Ali Davis March 31, 2025
Hello, Congressional Republicans who still care about the republic! I know you’re out there because I kept hearing how differently Trump’s cabinet confirmations would have gone if only the votes have been secret.
We have reached a crisis point. We have reached so many crisis points. We reached like three new crisis points between me starting and finishing this article.
We have flipped our foreign policy so radically that we are now the villain of the world. All decision on that end seems to have been handed over to Putin and a bunch of preening technofascists. Our economy is crashing toward a depression and the only trick the Trump Administration pony has is more insane tariffs. High-level cabinet members endangered the lives of our servicemembers by discussing classified information on the already-hacked Signal app, and that doesn’t even cover gloating over civilian deaths, adding a journalist to the group text, and further damaging our relationship with Europe. The Trump administration is trying to start wars with freaking Denmark and Canada. DENMARK AND CANADA, for chrissakes.
And the most insane thing is that this is an abridged list. There are paragraphs and paragraphs of human rights horrors that I have skipped.
This is it. You are a part of an authoritarian government, a twisted and vile parody of what we once had. Elon Musk is stripping it for parts and awarding himself lucrative contracts while Donald Trump threatens Republican judges and lobs all of our state secrets straight to Putin.
The window for stopping this is small and vanishing. The most patriotic thing you could do is stand up and impeach Donald Trump, but, whether it’s due to a fear of Trump or fear of his zealots, you’re not doing that. The second most patriotic thing you could do is resign and leave your seat open to a flip by the Democrats. But you don’t seem to be doing that either. So here it is: The third most patriotic thing you can do, your last option for saving your beloved country from falling completely into authoritarianism: Get sick.
Get terribly sick and refuse to discuss your personal health information during this challenging time. Or get just a little bit sick and keep insisting that you’ll be as right as rain in a week or two. Have a family emergency. Or just take some dearly needed personal time.
Just drop out for a while. Hole up at home or get out of the country if you need to and let some trusted Democrats know that they’ll have the majority for a while and the time and leeway to move. (BE SURE YOU KNOW WHO IS ON THE SIGNAL CHAT.)
But what if someone is blackmailing me?
No offense, but this is bigger than you. Putin wants to break the United States. And he wants to break the United States so that he can roll over Western Europe. Do you really want to go to your grave knowing that you held onto your secret at the expense of Permanent Global Fascism? For that matter, do you really think complying now will stop them from burning you with it when you become inconvenient later?
Let’s be honest: A lot of us are already kind of assuming that you’re being blackmailed. And the fact that you’ve abandonedyour principles when the stakes are so high is making people think that the thing you’re being blackmailed over is much worse than what it probably really is. If Matt Gaetz can brazen it out, what on earth must you be hiding?
The good news is that there is nothing better for blowing your blackmail material straight out of the news cycle than a fiery Presidential impeachment that the nation can’t stop watching. There’s no better time to get out from under someone’s thumb.
But if the Democrats are smart, they’ll remove Johnson and prosecute Vance for the Signal debacle. That means a Democratic President will be in. I’ll lose some of my own power. What about that?
More real talk: Donald Trump has screwed the Republican party’s chances for decades at a minimum. You are now the party that let the Nazis in. You are the party that closed the national parks and tried to put Grandma out on the street. You are the party that kneecapped scientific research right when it looked like there might be a cure for pancreatic cancer. You are the party that crashed the stock market, the party that made us hated by the world, the party that let Musk and Putin take the reins. You are the party that just came out as pro-measles and made room for polio. The Republican Party is going the way of the Know-Nothings. You’re going to have to scrap it and start over.
And that’s if we ever have real elections again.
The only hope of you, personally, ever coming back into power is if Trump gets impeached and you become a zealous reformer. Toss out everyone who helped Trump, Musk, Thiel and Putin, support real jail time, and legislate us back out of Citizens United. Throw the bastards out and keep on throwing or you are surely getting tossed out yourself.
You can start right now, of course. That would be ideal. But you can also start after you take a little break to let the Democrats get the ball rolling.
Can’t I just keep my head down and appease Trump until things are magically better?
No. If you have read this far instead of screaming about George Soros and fake Venezuelan gang members, you are a Republican who thoughtcrimes against Trump. He and his barrel of vipers who the nonbelievers are. You won’t make it.
Fascists always need a villain to rail against. They always have a list. It is not a question of whether you are on the list, it’s a question of how far down you are. Right now, it’s foreign students and random brown people with innocent tattoos, but Trump is going to crave new meat and fresh news stories soon. You know that he needs to ritually humiliate and cast out a Republican every so often to reassert his dominance. You’re higher up the list than you think.
And if we hit the era of No Real Elections, which is more likely every day, there is no way you are keeping your elected position. Only perfect toadying cult members will make it through, and there is no way you can tap dance fast enough to make up for the past.
Besides: Is “enthusiastic supporter of the fascist regime” the way you want your grandchildren to remember you?
If you aren’t moved by the idea of saving the democratic republic we’ve all grown fond of, think about the fact that your only path to staying in your elected office is to get Trump out of his, and your chance to do that is slipping away.
It’s time to come down with a severe but undefined and conveniently curable medical issue. Play hooky. Go AWOL. Bunk out. Chuck a sickie. But do it quickly.
If you can’t bring yourself to impeach Donald Trump, you need to get the hell out of the way so someone else can. (snip)
The above is the tRump admin trying to get other countries with higher standards in their food to send us their eggs to protect tRump from the soaring prices.
This scares me because the fundamentalist and white cis straight male supremacists will demand it be used here. First on trans people to protect the children then expand it to the entire LGBTQ+ as they have been doing everything else they tried to use against trans kids / people.
Famed Navajo Code Talkers Axed From Pentagon Sites
Yes I know that these were restored. But now tRump is demanding Vance who is on the board of the Smithson and the National Zoo to remove all illegal (purge) references to race, gender, the LGBTQ+ and so much more. He is demanding a national landmark the US government doesn’t control to toe the fundamentalist straight cis white supremacy Christians agenda to deny anything but them into history or society. We really are seeing a complete take over of society and we must do all we can to prevent the rollback of all rights and equality of anyone not white straight cis Christian males. This is horrifyingly scary. Because these hate groups have learned if they can control information, control education, control what is considered good or bad by their standards they can force the youngest people in the country to voice that belief and grow up to enforce it. It is what theocratic Islamic nations do. Are we now a nation taken over by theocratic Christian fundamentalist demanding a change in even the constitution to force everyone to follow their god and their rules? Please kill me first.
Every accredited organization except those directly driven by fundamentalist religiously motivated agree this is simply torture. The religious just simply refuse to believe sexual orientation is not a choice and no one wants to be like that no matter what has to be done to change it. Including electroshock therapy to the genitals. Think of yourself, gay straight, or any other orientation. If you are cis and straight, how much conversion therapy would it take to make you believe you were gay / lesbian and desire that. How could who you are attracted to be changed. That all comes from the idea that it is a mental illness and a sickness that needs to be cured. Which the majority of medical organizations reject, agreeing it is an inborn part of a fetus development. Plus if you could change a sexual orientation … look at my childhood. I was forced to please sexually both males and females. But the only rapes that totally crashed me in the military was the one by a woman with more rank than me who demanded I have sex with her … four times. The last time I was so upset and humiliated that I ran nude up the stairs of the housing unit for higher enlisted and pounded on my soon to be E-7’s door. I was sobbing incoherently. I have been raped all my life and was able to stand that. Why did what this woman force me to do reduced me to that state? Because it was against my very nature of who I was. I was having same sex relations with another young guy and loving it. What she was forcing me to do was against everything I felt inside. That is what the people of these gay conversions want to do.
Some of them think that being gay is a choice because … well when did they decide instead of men they would like to have sex with women? No they just felt it, but what gay / lesbian people feel is not valid and must be forced to change. The rest of this group feels their interpretations of their view of what their god wants must be enforced on everyone even those that don’t follow their god. Because it is their god and he must be pleased because their god hates what they hate. Even if it is not in the bible or they misunderstood it, their hate preacher told them it was so. They can not let others live their lives, everyone must live by their church dictates. Why??? Because only that way their god will love them? I am an atheist that is willing to let religious people believe as they wish as long as they don’t try to force their beliefs on others. You do you … but why can’t they do the same. They insist that no one can be different from them and their beliefs. That is scary just that they think like that and more that they are now running the US government.
PS. When James was a newly teen of 13 his parents went to the Florida Keys with a group of us. They always stayed apart even though they asked to be part of the caravan of RV going. Well I caused an issue. His … maybe abusive parents had lots of tattoos and were highly Catholic religious … even had a statue of the mother Mary in the entrance of their home. Yes the husband ruled the house and told the wife what she would do at all times. Which included the abuse of the child which is where we came in. In a year or so after this even the boy started staying at our home because he was not allowed home until the mother was there. I had seen a young kid come in with a Mohawk. The boy had his hair shaved on both sides of his head and long in the front and back. We had already talked to their son at our table because the parents they were trying to force the boy to get Christian tattoos.
When I spoke up and said there is …. next hair cut … it will look grand on him. His stepdad exploded and said he wouldn’t ever allow the boy in the house with that and he would hold him down and shave all his hair off. As anyone can imagine I got triggered, I had been held down and had my hair cut. I flew up from the table as Ron was grabbing at me and yelled you want him to have tattoos which is against the bible but a simple haircut which can be changed or grow back and has no mentioned in the bible upsets you so much you’re threatening the kid. I loudly said, “What the fuck is wrong with you”! They took the boy from our table and left his meal uneaten. I was furious. Others who did not know of my childhood tried to calm me down. The family of the boy left that day from our group at the campground. Next time the boy came to our home his hair was cut short and the parents never went on another trip with us. Hugs
Again an attempt to turn the country into a while male cis straight only nation. How much clearer can it be. And all these republicans or most of them are fundamentalist Christians who were funded by their church in a steal run to get elected. This not what the publican wants. But these republican fundamentalist groups understand … politicians can force change in public opinion if they support something loud and forcefully enough. Which is one why Kamala Harris l think lost the election, the democrats refused to respond to the attacks on trans people fearing it would hurt them. That is how you bring people along to a new understanding. The republicans are doing it in reverse of what the progressive movement did with government support in the early 2000s. Now that democrats have retreated only the hard right republicans are getting their voices heard returning the countries view to pre-rights for LGBTQ+ people. Hugs
Another fascist EO from the Great Red-Ass Baboon Read on Substack
MAGA re-education continues.
Donald Trump has issued an executive order for Vice President (sic) JD Vance to work with Congress to rid the Smithsonian Museum and National Zoo of “improper ideology” that is “inconsistent with federal law.”
First, what is “improper” ideology? Even Nazi ideology isn’t illegal, so what is Trump talking about here? And what’s “improper” about any ideology at the non-partisan Smithsonian? Is Fonzie’s jacket too woke? Is the Enola Gay gaying up the Air and Space Museum?
And what is “improper” ideology at the zoo? Are the zebras more Black than White? Are the Giant Pandas too Chinese? Are the Black bears getting preferential treatment over the polar bears? Do we need to deport the Brown bears to El Salvador? Maybe JD will remove all the animals that have exhibited gay behavior, which would include lions, bats, giraffes, bonobos, penguins, macaques, flamingos (obviously), lizards, gulls, and the mascot of the Republican Party, elephants, except they don’t stay in the closet and lie about it.
The Vice President is on the board of The Smithsonian, even if he’s a mascara-wearing couch-humping dolphin porn-searching gaslighting lying racist moron. However, while the federal government helps fund the Smithsonian (which includes the National Zoo), it’s not owned or under the government’s control. It’s not the responsibility of any of the three branches or even Elon’s fake and unconstitutional fourth branch.
All JD and Congress can do is cut funding if they don’t do as Trump “desires,” which is the way JD put it to Greenland, “We can’t just ignore the president’s desires.”
The executive order on “restoring truth and sanity to American history” alleges that the country has undergone “a concerted and widespread effort to rewrite our Nation’s history.” It instructs Vice President Numb-Nuts to work with Congress to prohibit spending on “exhibits or programs that degrade shared American values, divide Americans based on race, or promote programs or ideologies inconsistent with federal law and policy.”
We don’t have laws that ban “improper” ideology. We have laws that PROTECT ideology.
Among the exhibits Trump wants to ban are those in the American Women’s History Museum that “recognize men as women in any respect.” The order also calls out an exhibit on race and sculpture at the Smithsonian.
Trump’s EO also instructs the Secretary of the Interior (Dough Burgum) to reinstate any national monuments or statues within his jurisdiction that were “removed or changed to perpetuate a false reconstruction of American history.” You know, Confederate statues.
This falls right in line with Trump deporting a green card holder for protesting, cutting funds to universities for allowing protests, deporting people for writing Op-Eds, revoking hundreds of visas from student protesters, and banning words like “black,” “gay,” and “women” from government websites.
The Trump regime is trying to rewrite history while engaging in censorship. It’s re-educating. Renaming the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America and making English our “official” language is a part of this, too.
This is what fascist governments do. The Nazis, the Soviets, and Imperial Japan all attempted to change history, currency, and even the languages in nations they captured. In North Korea, they tell the people their leader is a god who doesn’t even need to poop and he can talk to dolphins. By the way, dolphins can be gay, too. Russia claims that nobody is gay in the country, not even the dolphins.
The Smithsonian is wonderful, and now I’m scolding myself for not visiting the place in over a decade. It has 19 museums, 14 education and research centers, and the National Zoo, and they’re all FREE. I’ve been there several times, with most of it spent in the Air and Space Museum because I couldn’t drag my kid out of there.
If you’re in Washington, visit the Smithsonian. Hell, make a special trip to visit Washington (use the Metro while you’re here). I love the zoo, and the pandas are back. Visit it soon before Donald Trump destroys it, like he’s also planning to do with the Kennedy Center.
Everything Donald Trump touches dies.
Music notes: I listened to The Who and some Pete Townsend solo stuff. He really wants to kiss those rough boys, but not in Russia.
Republicans want to classify their opponents as insane Read on Substack
Let’s make one thing clear. Trump Derangement Syndrome, or TDS if you prefer, is not a thing. It’s not like it’s ever been featured in the New England Journal of Medicine or been studied at the Mayo Clinic. It’s about as legitimate a medical condition as rock-and-roll pneumonia, a bad case of loving you, or being cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Sure, Cocoa Puffs is delicious, but it doesn’t make people cuckoo any more than Trix is exclusively for kids and not weird, stalkery creeper rabbits. I always felt like the cereal was just a cover for what that rabbit was really going after.
That rabbit probably wanted what Justin Eichorn wanted, but we’ll get to that in a minute.
Five Republican men in the Minnesota state senate have introduced a bill that would include TDS in the statutory definition of mental illness. The bill defines the syndrome as characterised by “verbal expressions of intense hostility toward” Donald Trump and “overt acts of aggression and violence against anyone supporting [Trump] or anything that symbolises [Trump].”
According to Republicans, if hate that Trump sucks up to Putin, then you’re deranged. If you think it’s weird that Trump wants to “date” his daughter, then you’re deranged. If you don’t like that Trump is a grifter, you’re deranged. If you hate that selling products while in office, you’re deranged. If you hate tariffs, you’re deranged. I think Trump shouldn’t be attacking our allies, you’re deranged. If you don’t think the president of the United States should be Elon’s personal sock puppet, then you’re deranged. If you think the president shouldn’t be a felon, you’re deranged. If you believe the president of the United States should know more words than a Beagle, you are deranged. In a Beagle’s defense, after you start spelling words so the Beagle won’t know what you’re saying, the Beagle learns how to spell.
It’s easier to dismiss your political opponents’ arguments as crazy or irrational than to counter with an argument of your own. You would think the deranged person is the one who supports deranged positions he can’t defend.
Deranged is living through the worst administration in US history, then voting for it again.
Recently, Kentucky Congressman James Comer issued a statement comparing town halls to “therapy sessions for left-wing activists suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome.” If someone asks you to justify Elon’s unconstitutional assault on the government and what right he has to work as an unelected fourth branch of government, it’s easier to dismiss that person as crazy than to answer the question. TDS is a very handy argument for Republican chickenshits.
Harriet Hageman, Wyoming’s lone representative in Congress, dismissed town halls as “hysteria,” and her reason for not holding any. Derangement is kicking out Liz Cheney because she investigated an attack against our nation and replacing her with a representative who’s going to accuse you of “hysteria.”
It’s a common Republican tactic to dismiss your opponents instead of countering facts. Instead of taking accountability for leaking classified information to a journalist, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth said Jeffrey Goldberg is a “deceitful and highly discredited, so-called journalist who’s made a profession of peddling hoaxes time and time again.” Even if any of that were true, it still doesn’t answer the question or explain why he was added to your chat.
If Jeffrey Goldberg was truly deceitful, highly discredited, and has made a profession of peddling hoaxes, then why did you have him in your group chat discussing classified information? Doesn’t that make it worse? And your answer to that question would probably be, “That cartoonist has Trump Derangement Syndrome.” Pete Hegseth isn’t even smart enough to deflect, less alone to possess classified information.
The chances of this TDS bill passing into Minnesota law are slim and none, but what makes these five Republican state senators qualified to diagnose a mental illness or identify a fake condition as one? Are they doctors? I’m glad you asked.
The sponsors of the bill are Glenn Gruenhagen, Nathan Wesenberg, Steve Drazkowski, Eric Lucero, and Justin Eichorn. These men must be doctors, right? I looked into it.
Gruenhagen’s career is in finance, NOT medicine. Wesenberg is a wildlife biologist. Maybe he can tell whether or not squirrels are crazy (they are), but not you. Drazkowski is a firearms safety instructor who probably votes to protect the rights of mentally ill people to purchase guns, but he’s not trained to determine who is and isn’t because he’s NOT a doctor. Lucero is NOT a doctor but should probably see one because he’s a chem-trail conspiracy theorist, which is not a thing either. And finally, Justin Eichorn is NOT a doctor either but is a possible pedophile and realtor.
So these guys who want to make TDS a mental condition demand that…hold up. Did I write that one of these guys is a possible pedophile? How could Justin Eichorn be a pedophile? How could any Republican be a pedophile? Aren’t they the ones who spent the past four years calling us “groomers?” Eichorn has also taken a conservative stand against young children learning about gender diversity and sexual orientations, yet…I’m sure he was planning to show his sexual orientation to the 17-year-old girl he believed he was talking to before To Catch A Predator busted his ass.
It wasn’t To Catch a Predator that caught him. That show ended years ago, but now I wish it was still on. I would have loved to see the surprised look on Eichorn’s face as he walked in with a six-pack of wine coolers while discovering his underage date was a bunch of cops. My money is on the entrapment defense.
Last week, more Republican state senators were arrested in Minnesota for soliciting a minor than drag queens.
But what happened? Was Eichorn rushing the TDS bill with the other four guys and saying, “Hurry this up, guys. I have a date.”?
According to the Bloomington (MN) Police Department, 40-year-old Eichorn was arrested after allegedly arranging to meet up with someone whom he believed to be a 17-year-old girl. When he got to the location, he was met by uniformed police officers and booked into jail before being transported to the Hennepin County Adult Detention Center. He must have been disappointed it wasn’t the Juvenile Detention Center.
According to the cops, when the fake minor told Eichorn she was only 17, his response was, “Cool. Do you like raspberry or watermelon-flavored wine coolers?” or something to that effect.
Police said, “Felony charges of Soliciting Under 18 Year Old to Practice Prostitution are pending from the Hennepin County Attorney’s office.” But then, federal prosecutors took over the case, and now Eichorn is facing a federal charge of attempted coercion and enticement of a minor to engage in prostitution. This might be his lucky break because a Trump-appointed prosecutor could drop the charges, and federal charges can be pardoned. I mean, pedophilia is bad, but Trump once endorsed a pedophile for the US Senate. He’s done business with pedophiles. He’s appointed pedophiles. He’s partied with pedophiles and even rode on their planes. It’s not like Eichorn did something “illegal,” like boycotted Tesla or said something “treasonous” about Trump’s tiny fingers.
Eichorn has resigned from the state senate because it’s not a place for pedophiles, but there may be an opening soon in Trump’s cabinet. Trump did try to make a pedophile his Attorney General.
Ya know, I’m starting to think it’s not the Left who’s deranged.
Creative notes: I had two ideas for this one, and it was difficult for me to choose between them, and not just because I already used Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs back in 2021. Both roughs will be featured in the next Blog o’ Roughs, coming soon.
My question is who decides if a hair cut conforms to gender stereotypes / norms. I somehow doubt the 1970s /1980s long shoulder length but parted and swept back blow dried hairstyles for guys would pass the test if religious conservatives get to say what is acceptable? What about women with cancer who are taking treatments for that cancer and lost their hair or are growing it back? Can the doctor be sued who prescribed the treatments? It is like trans people using the bathrooms of gender identity, who decides if that woman is feminine enough for the girl’s bathroom or that man manly enough for the boy’s bathroom? I have told everyone while the hell spawn could have any hair they wanted including long hair I was required to have a crew cut or nearly bald hairstyle as punishment for even existing in a time when everyone was wearing their hair long. What about parents rights? You know the reason all media with LGBTQ+ content must be removed from schools and all libraries, because some parents complain their kids might see it? Do the progressives or the former hippies get to allow their boy children to have long hair or their girls short hair? See how this can’t work, can’t be allowed. People lose all autonomy and individual rights to express themselves as they want to. It is again an attempt to return to the straight cis white Christian male dominated society of the 1950s. Women were subservient to men and needed their permission for most things outside the home. Raping your wife, forcing her to have sex against her will was legal as she had to perform her wifely duties. Non-white people knew their place and stayed there. The entire LGBTQ+ were hidden in their closets too frighted to be found out to demand their equality and rights. That is the world they want and are trying to create using the cover of trans people are harming the children. It is why they attacked drag queens so violently, they violate that 1950s norms. They are desperate to enforce a nearly religious observance of their preferred way to live based mostly on religion. Look at the bios of nearly every one of the republicans pushing these things and you see they are from a fundamentalist conservative religious faith that wants to control how other people live. Not to bring others closer to their godlike Rev Ed Trevors does, but to make themselves feel better about things and the idea that if they make all the people they don’t like, all the acts they don’t like to go away their god will praise them, give them an afterlife life, and their god will be so please with them he will come back right away to get them. Their god is a god of anger and smiting. He is not a loving god who loves people as they are or want to be. Hugs
Republicans in the Arkansas state legislature have introduced legislation that would make it effectively illegal for hairdressers to give gender-based haircuts to people of the opposite gender. The bill would allow the hairdressers to be sued if the haircut given does not conform with the gender assigned to a person at birth. This is reminiscent of the government-approved haircuts in North Korea, and equally as oppressive. Ring of Fire’s Farron Cousins explains what’s happening.
The first mistake was giving classified information to Pete HegsethRead on Substack
If only someone could have foreseen that being a host on Fox & Friends doesn’t make one qualified to be the Secretary of Defense.
Jeffrey Goldberg, the editor-in-chief of The Atlantic, was sitting in his car in a Safeway parking lot when he received a message about an upcoming military strike in Yemen. The message was part of a group chat in Signal, a messaging app, sent from Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth.
Goldberg wrote in The Atlantic, “I didn’t think it could be real. Then the bombs started falling.”
The world found out on March 15 at 2 p.m. Eastern time that the United States had bombed Houthi targets in Yemen, but Goldberg knew at 11:44 a.m. The message included precise information about weapons packages, targets, and timing.
Note that Goldberg didn’t expose this intel fiasco until yesterday, ten days after the strike. My question is: Did any of the group chat participants notice Goldberg was in the chat before yesterday?
After the National Security Council confirmed the legitimacy of the chat, Director of National Security Tulsi Gabbard claimed there was no classified information in the chat. The White House also claimed no classified information or war plans were shared. Then, Pete Hegseth made the same claim, saying, “Nobody was texting war plans, and that’s all I have to say about that.”
Except, that wasn’t all he had to say about “that,” as he also said Goldberg is “a deceitful and highly discredited, so-called journalist who’s made a profession of peddling hoaxes time and time again.” Keep in mind that this guy who used to work for Fox News now works for Donald Trump, the king of discredited lies and conspiracy theories.
While interviewing Goldberg on CNN Monday night, Caitlin Collins said to Goldberg, “I want to start by getting your reaction to what we heard from Secretary Hegseth there, saying that ‘Nobody was texting war plans.’ Given you were privy to this group chat, is that how you saw it?”
Goldberg replied, “No, that’s a lie. He was texting war plans. He was texting attack plans. When targets were going to be targeted; how they were going to be targeted; who was at the targets; when the next sequence of attacks was happening.”
The only way the Trump administration can cover their ass on this is to lie.
In a quickly-called Senate hearing this morning, Gabbard refused to even admit she was part of the chat, saying she didn’t want to get into “specifics.” Senator Mark Warner asked, “Why aren’t you gonna get into the specifics? Is this—is it because it’s all classified?
Gabbard said she couldn’t get into specifics about the chat she claimed didn’t contain classified intel, and said she couldn’t “because this is currently under review by the National Security Council.”
That prompted Warner to ask, “Because it’s all classified? If it’s not classified, share the texts now.”
Gabbard, Hegseth, FBI Director Kash Patel, and CIA Director John Ratcliffe lacked the basic due diligence to check the group chat participants before spouting off about war plans. These people chosen by Trump are amateurs when it comes to their jobs and securing classified intelligence.
If only someone had pointed to these people’s lack of qualifications for their jobs. Oh, wait. We did.
Other members of the chat were National Security Advisor Mike Walz Veep JD Vance, Secretary of State Marco Rubio, Secretary of the Treasury Scott Bessent, National Counterterrorism Center Director Nominee Joe Kent, White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles, White House Deputy Chief of Staff for Policy Stephen “Baby Goebbels” Miller, and Special Envoy to the Middle East Steve Witkoff. Not one of these idiots noticed Goldberg’s name in the chat and asked, “Who’s that guy?”
Gabbard said there was a difference between the “inadvertent release” and “malicious leaks” of classified information before restating that there was no classified material in the chat, trying to have it both ways.
Unless the administration came out before the strike and said, “We’re going to start dropping bombs on Houthi rebels in Yemen at 2 p.m. on March 15, the information in the chat was classified.
This leak wasn’t malicious or inadvertent. It was inept. You would think if all the participants of this classified chat were competent, at least one of them would have spotted that one of the participants was a journalist, a journalist who did a better job of retaining the classified information better than the Secretary of Defense, Director of National Security, the FBI Director and the CIA Director.
Warner said Hegseth and National Security Adviser Mike Walz didn’t “conduct hygiene 101” in making sure the classified chat was secure.
Warner said, “If this was the case of a military officer or an intelligence officer and they had this kind of behavior, they would be fired” and “This is one more example of the kind of sloppy, careless, incompetent behavior, particularly towards classified information, that this is not a one-off or a first-time error.”
If you don’t remember this happening in the Biden administration, it’s because it never did. Biden hired competent and qualified people, not the Gang that couldn’t shoot straight.
Later, he called for the resignations of Hegseth and Walz, but I think everyone in that chat should resign, including the vice president (sic). Didn’t they all want Hillary Clinton “locked up” for risking the exposure of classified information?
The Trump administration talks a lot of shit about our national security, as though they take it seriously. If they really took it seriously, they wouldn’t hire jackasses like Pete Hegseth, Tulsi Gabbard, Mike Walz, Kash Patel, and John Ratcliffe. Hell, if Republicans took our nation seriously, they wouldn’t have nominated that racist idiot Donald Trump.
Mark Warner said, “When the stakes are this high, incompetence is not an option.”
Creative note: I had something else planned for today, but this story threw that out the window last night. I had more than one reader message me, “Can’t wait to see your Hegseth cartoon.” Fortunately, those messages weren’t classified.
Music note: I listened to everything on this cafe’s sound system. Unfortunately, it included a lot of John Mayer. I hate John Mayer.
(Because it’s the only way I can bear it. Also, blue language within, though not gratuitous.)
LIVE: Are The Worldwide Threats In The Room With Us Right Now? A Tulsi Gabbard Hearing! by Rebecca Schoenkopf
And a John Ratcliffe hearing. And a Kash Patel hearing.Read on Substack
Tulsi Gabbard and Kash Patel and John Ratcliffe, probably.
For once, Kash Patel might not even be the biggest shitshow in the room today when he and other Trump agency heads sit before the Senate Intelligence Committee for the annual Worldwide Threats hearing! You know, unless he thinks the greatest “worldwide threats” are somehow his enemies list. That would be sad and pathetic.
But yeah, that hearing is today, because the universe has a sense of humor. Tulsi Gabbard (DNI) and John Ratcliffe (CIA) were on that funny little text thread where JD Vance was like “Donald Trump is wrong about bombing Yemen, and Europe is stinky and I hate it!” (slight paraphrase) and Secretary Shitfaced was like [vomits extremely detailed bombing plans into text thread on Signal, which is not where classified war plans go] and Mike Waltz (National Security Advisor) was like “LMAO let me accidentally invite the editor of the Atlantic to read all this”!
Oh yeah, and John Ratcliffe reportedly blabbed an active intelligence officer’s name on that text chat. You know, because he’s good at his job and a serious man.
Will we even have time to hear Tulsi Gabbard share her EXPERTISE on what the greatest worldwide threats are, and why none of them are her buddies in Moscow? Will Kash Patel read from his children’s books and explain to us why the true greatest worldwide threat is “Hillary Queenton”?
Or are we just gonna talk about these dumbass clownfucking fools and their group chats all day? Let’s find out!
10:00: Yeah, though, it really is on the nose that this is the Worldwide Threats Hearing, starring Tulsi Gabbard. Ha ha! Good morning.
10:05: One thing you might not know about our current hell is that Tom Cotton is now the chair of the Senate Intelligence Committee. You know, in case you thought there might be a Republican in there who actually cares about national security, ha ha, you were wrong.
10:08: Tom Cotton leads off with Communist China being very bad. Hey, he should ask about that billionaire South African apartheid creep currently terrorizing the government, who ALSO happens to be all the way up China’s ass.
Tom Cotton just said Yemen, drink ‘em if you got ‘em! And if you don’t got ‘em, ask the secretary of Defense if he’s got an extra!
10:13: Cotton refers to the Trump intel team as “impressive,” hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Now vice-chair Mark Warner is discussing how several on the panel today were part of the big group chat full of classified information and the name of at least one intelligence officer and all the war plans and whatever drinking games MAGA Republicans like to do to celebrate bombing Yemen on unsecured channels.
Mark Warner will now talk about some other times the Trump administration has fucked off when it comes to national security.
Canceled all foreign assistance. He’s explaining how that relates for slow learners/traitor Republicans.
Fired some of the best and brightest FBI agents, like the people who led the counterterrorism division and the heads of offices who work every day to keep America safe and who work to counteract threats on the homeland.
Firing thousands of people at the CDC and NIH, who protect America from disease.
Firing hundreds of intelligence officers, who you can’t just rehire or replace with some pig you found on the street.
Every time they show the panel, they literally look like a bunch of dumbass children who just got caught being absolute fucking morons again.
Not right out of central casting, Donald Trump!
10:25: LOL, Tom Cotton is such a pissy little baby. Just told the whole room he’s going to encourage the US attorney (this dork, presumably) to THROW THE BOOK at anybody who disrupts the hearing. Okeydoke, Senator Dachschund McPomeranian from Dardanelle, Arkansas. You’re real tough.
Anyway, Tulsi Gabbard is giving her opening statement. Hasn’t said anything in Russian yet, is talking about cartels, sounds like she binged “Narcos” this weekend, very impressive, very prepared.
10:31: Gabbard is reading whatever was prepared for her, it’s very “This is my book report on being DNI.” (Remember how she didn’t really know what the DNI did when she was nominated.)
Gabbard says Russia is a “formidable competitor” and fawns over their nuclear weapons. Says Russia does some bad cyber things too. Bet she hates reading this part. You know how Trump hates it when you say hurtful things about, UH OH! RUSSIA PART OVER!
Moved on to Iran. Well, that was fast.
The NBC feed keeps showing senators looking bored.
10:39: Wow, if Gabbard is going to keep talking about dictators like Kim Jong-un and bad guys like Russia, she should probably say something about all the world leaders they have in their pockets, like her boss.
10:42: We guess the other morons won’t be giving opening statements, because Cotton has already started prancing around about all the immigrants that have been arrested in Arkansas.
Now Code Pink protesters doing their Code Pink protesting, which is always so effective. Prods Cotton to peacock around about “Communist China.” It’s all very productive.
Anyway, back to Kash Patel talking about the threat of Mexicans in Arkansas, which is what Tom Cotton wants to know about.
10:45: Kash Patel has personally arrested 10 million Mexicans in Arkansas, and now the crime in Arkansas is over!
10:46: Tom Cotton notes that China is a “techno-totalitarian police state,” which is hilarious because what is Elon Musk doing right now?Carole Cadwalladr’s Substack is a good place to read to get a better understanding of that.
Here comes Mark Warner. Let’s talk about the fucking text chat, y’all!
10:49: Why won’t Tulsi Gabbard talk about what happened in the group chat? Is it because it was CLASSIFIED? If it wasn’t CLASSIFIED can you show us all the texts?
And John Ratcliffe? What about you?
John Ratcliffe says they put Signal on his computer, and everybody uses it! They can totally use it, as long as they also record what they do there on normal channels! (They were literally sharing war plans, reportedly, or at least Hegseth was.)
Gabbard just claimed that there was no classified information shared in the chat. Warner is like fuck off, you can’t have it both ways. If it wasn’t classified, share it all.
WARNER: If a rank-and-file intel officer did this shit, what would you do with them?
GABBARD: No classified! No classified! You are classified!
WARNER: Is Edward Snowden a traitor? You’re an idiot.
Lotta people bringing up this tweet right now:
10:55: Now Republican John Cornyn seems to be forcing Tulsi Gabbard to agree with him that Russia does horrible things all over the world, specifically he’s talking about in Europe. Also about how Russia views its unprovoked war against Ukraine.
10:56: John Cornyn wants to make sure Tulsi Gabbard and the others understand the consequences of European insecurity. He’s having Jeffrey Kruse — director of the Defense Intelligence Agency, a Biden appointee! — explain what happens if nuclear weapons proliferate throughout Europe. Also the arrangement called the Budapest Memorandum, where Ukraine gave up its weapons “for the protection of others.”
That’s how John Cornyn spent his time. Huh. Interesting.
Now Ron Wyden. He says Mike Waltz and Pete Hegseth need to fucking resign now.
WYDEN: Gabbard and Ratcliffe, how many classified group chats have you done?
GABBARD/RATCLIFFE: No classified! No classified! Ron Wyden is classified!
RATCLIFFE: I like using Signal!
11:01: WYDEN: Hey Gabbard, you think it was kinda fucked, that whole thing about how Pete Hegseth was gonna show Elon Musk all our secret China war plans?
GABBARD: Hegseth and Trump denied it! End of story, obviously!
11:03: James Lankford thanks these people for their “service,” on behalf of “Oklahoma.”
11:06: Kash Patel is a fucking dweeb.
“I’m the FBI director! I’m learning how to FBI real good!”
11:09: Martin Heinrich of New Mexico, asks Ratcliffe who precisely determined there was no classified info on that Signal group chat?
Ratcliffe either doesn’t understand or is pretending he doesn’t understand the question. (Remember, he is legitimately stupid.)
And continues to insist that Signal is OK and fine!
Heinrich asks for confirmation of whether this conversation included extremely specific military plans about weapons and timing and so forth. Jeffrey Goldberg says sure the fuck did. Ratcliffe and Gabbard are like DEF NOT! and “defer to Pentagon.” So that’s two different answers, respectively.
Heinrich now trolling Gabbard asking why the intelligence community doesn’t list the Canadian border as one of the prime drivers of fentanyl trafficking into the United States, considering how Trump is always lying and saying that’s why he has to tariff them.
Gabbard does not have the specifics on that answer. Heinrich does. It’s less than one percent of the fentanyl we interdict.
Time for a very dumb Republican senator, Ted Budd from North Carolina.
11:18: Now talking about Section 702 (FISA) Courts. Tulsi Gabbard says 702 is one of the most important tools we have. Kash Patel has a much weirder history with FISA beacuse, you know, he got MAGA famous by being Devin Nunes’s little lapdog on the House Intelligence Committee when they were trying to cover up Donald Trump’s Russia scandals.
11:21: Senator Angus King is confused as to how if Pete Hegseth put the whole battle plan in the group text, before it happened, how was that not classified?
GABBARD: No classified! Also again defer to Pete Hegseth!
KING: You’re the head of the intelligence community. You’re supposed to know about classifications, I think?
King asks why this year’s Worldwide Threats Assessment report doesn’t include global climate change. “Has it been solved?”
Gabbard says she is aware of “occurrences within the environment” and how they might affect operations. Tulsi Gabbard is not an Occurrences Within The Environment denier!
King wants to know directly who decided to leave climate change out of the report, when it’s been in the last 11.
11:25: King wants to know what kind of policy reason there would be to weaken CISA, which protects American elections and cyber infrastructure, which Trump is of course gutting. Tulsi Gabbard has no real answer.
Republican Senator Mike Rounds will not be talking about the group chat in the open session. (They will be going into closed session after this.)
Makes us wonder if a couple of these Republican senators are about to ream some asses as soon as the cameras are off.
11:29: LOL LMAO Mike Rounds just said something weird about how there are things Kash Patel did in his “previous life” that are so heroic, but we can’t talk about them. Was he Kash Patel, Super Spy? Does he have superhuman athletic spying abilities?
Don’t tell us it’s classified, ain’t none of these fuckwits give a shit about that.
11:31: Michael Bennet from Colorado always seems like a puppy dog, but then in some of these hearings he starts kicking people in the dick. Let’s see!
BENNET: Does CIA have rules for handling classified intel?
RATCLIFFE: Yes.
BENNET: Secretary Shitfaced’s response to this was to attack Jeffrey Goldberg. Are you also mad at Jeff Goldberg? Do you think he is a hoaxer? Deceitful?
RATCLIFFE: I don’t know him!
BENNET: You are the director of the CIA. Did he do a hoax to get on your group chat? Answer the question, dippy.
RATCLIFFE: I don’t know how he got there!
BENNET: Would it be cool to have a deceitful hoax reporter on a Signal group chat? Why would you add somebody like that? YOU’RE THE CIA DIRECTOR. How did you not notice who was on it?
RATCLIFFE: Maybe you don’t use Signal and don’t understand it.
BENNET: I do! Not for classified shit, obviously.
RATCLIFFE: Me neithers!
BENNET: Kind of fucking weird that Jeff Goldberg was reading your war plans before they happened in the parking lot of a grocery store. What kind of fucking CIA are you running?
RATCLIFFE: I don’t like the way you’re talking about my stupid actions!
BENNET: Hey bitch, did you know that Trump’s Kremlin/Middle East adviser boy was literally in Moscow while you were doing this group chat that he was part of? You’re an embarrassment, you need to DO BETTER.
SO THAT WAS FUN.
11:42: Todd Young very concerned about North Korea stealing his cryptos! They can’t talk about it right here, though!
Young also referred to Gabbard and Ratcliffe and Patel as “a bunch of spies.” LOL yeah buddy, definitely our best and brightest “spies.”
Mark Kelly now.
11:43: KELLY: Did your group chat mention targets?
GABBARD: I don’t think we talked about targets?
KELLY: What about general targets?
GABBARD: I think we talked about targets.
KELLY: What about weapons?
GABBARD: I don’t remember anybody saying any specific weapon names!
KELLY: What about timing?
GABBARD: No specific timing!
KELLY: John Ratcliffe, Tulsi Gabbard, any mention of specific military units?
GABBARD, RATCLIFFE: No unit! No unit! You are the specific military unit!
KELLY: Gabbard, does the IC have a policy against discussing Controlled Unclassified Information?
GABBARD: Yes.
KELLY: Was everything you talked about on Signal something you would approve for public release.
GABBARD: HgeeeeeeghncnchnchffGH!
KELLY: What about you, Mr. CIA super-spy?
RATCLIFFE: HgeeeeeghncnchnchffGH!
KELLY: Is it probably classified to discuss your literal actual war plans for strikes you’re going to do?
GABBARD: Maybe, maybe not!
RATCLIFFE: Yes.
TOM COTTON: Aw piss! John Ratcliffe just confessed on accident! Yain’t supposed to confess on accident! Tom Cotton gonna try to clean it up now by saying the secretary of Defense IS THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO SAY what’s classified with military strikes! Aw piss! Fiddlesticks! Pissfiddle!
(Dramatic interpretation of what just happened. Tom Cotton did not admit out loud that he felt the need to interject because John Ratcliffe had just accidentally told the truth.)
Mark Warner interjects to say it’s kind of fucking weird and stunning that none of these dipshits can even admit there was a fuckup.
11:55: Republican Jerry Moran wants to know what kinds of threats to America would arise if Russia got everything it wanted out of a Ukraine/Russia “peace agreement.”
Even Ratcliffe is saying out loud that people have been underestimating Ukraine for years now, would “fight with their bare hands” if they had to.
It remains very strange how, with a possible remainder of Tulsi Gabbard, nobody seems to share the devotion to Russia that Trump has.
11:58: Ratcliffe and Gabbard are trying to change their testimony midstream here, from earlier swearing that there was NO CLASSIFIED INFORMATION on that group chat, to now insisting that nothing was unclassified on their end, while insisting that original declassification authority for military matters rests with Hegseth. In other words, DRUNKY’S FAULT!
So Jack Reed would like to know if Pete Hegseth declassified all the classified information he talked about in that group chat.
REED: Tulsi Gabbard, were you overseas during your bullshit group chat?
GABBARD: Yes.
REED: Did you do this on your private phone or public phone?
GABBARD: I cannot say that out loud! I won’t! I shan’t!
12:02: REED: If you are just pretty sure nothing you did on the group chat was classified, would it be cool for Jeff Goldberg to release all the transcripts?
RATCLIFFE: I think he released all the things about me!
REED: Nope. Not what the article says.
RATCLIFFE: All the me parts are fine, definitely!
REED: So he can release it?
PATEL: I can’t prejudge that! Ask Pam Bondi!
Now we have Jon Ossoff.
12:04: OSSOFF: On your sexxxy group chat, JD Vance talked about how he disagreed with Donald Trump on the Yemen strike.
RATCLIFFE: I don’t recall!
OSSOFF: [reads it]
RATCLIFFE: I don’t recall!
OSSOFF: You don’t recall anything about the group chat you were on, which all the news is about? You don’t recall all the things that were said? You don’t recall how Pete Hegseth also disagreed with Trump? How Hegseth shared all these battle plans? Etc.?
RATCLIFFE: I’m a real dummy!
OSSOFF: Don’t you think foreign intel services would be interested in literally everything about this group chat?
RATCLIFFE: I reckon!
It’s funny, Ratcliffe keeps saying “I don’t know that,” and Ossoff keeps replying, “You do know that.”
OSSOFF: This was a HUGE mistake, yes?
RATCLIFFE: No!
OSSOFF: Jesus Christ, the fuck it wasn’t. This was hugely embarrassing, it was an absolute fuckup, we are going to get the full text of this group chat, and we’ll measure your testimony against that.
Mark Warner is going to end this up by continuing to call these people dumb fucking pieces of shit.
Warner ends by saying that these idiots’ inability to admit what a “colossal screwup” this was “speaks volumes.”
Susan Collins was not in attendance because she is under the weather, but she is concerned.
Not happy with his official one in the Colorado state capitol Read on Substack
It’s one thing to be unhappy with how other people see your appearance, it’s another to publicly whine and obsess over it.
This is not an important issue in the many horrible actions of the first two months of the Trump administration but only to reinforce his narcissism and what he spends his time on as president. One a much more important subject, I have a graphic essay in the works about how Trump attacked the free press in his first administration to what he’s doing now.
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