At Least She’s Getting Due Process.

Aiding and Abetting by Clay Jones

Trump’s goons are helping him destroy America Read on Substack

Milwaukee County Circuit Judge Hannah Dugan was arrested by the FBI and charged with obstructing an immigration arrest operation. This is a further step away from democracy and toward fascism.

FBI Director (sic) bug-eyed hatchet man Kash Patel announced the arrest on TwitterX, accusing her of “intentionally misdirecting” federal agents as they sought to detain an immigrant who was set to appear for an unrelated proceeding last week. Announcing this on social media makes it clear that this is political and is meant to set an example for other judges.

The regime has been publicly attacking judges who are delaying or halting Trump’s fascist moves, like deporting legal residents and canceling student visas. One GOP representative has even filed legislation to impeach judges who go against Trump. Kash Patel, another Trump appointee not qualified for his position, was more than happy to send thugs to arrest a judge.

This is another court fight that Trump should lose, and even be thrown out.

Attorney General (sic) and MAGA hack Pam Bondi said, “These judges think they’re above the law. They are not. We will come after you and prosecute you. We will find you.” She also called judges “deranged.”

Stephen “Baby Goebbels” Miller, the White House deputy chief of staff, said on social media, “No. One. Is. Above. The. Law,” which is ironic coming from a guy who works for a felon.

While these fascist idiots are tweeting and yammering about arresting a judge, the judge can’t comment about it at all because the judicial code of conduct restricts judges from commenting on pending or impending matters in any court.

I expect that the regime will cut out the bullshit reasons and excuses and soon start arresting judges on the charges of “obstructing Trump.”

Creative note: I drew this cartoon, then drew a local cartoon for the Advance. It’s not 6:40 p.m. and I haven’t eaten yet. That means this is all the blog you’re getting today. Clay tired. I’m off the clock until tomorrow, so if you email me anything today, I’m not replying until Sunday.

Music note: I’m still feeling Chicago, so I listened to the Blues Brothers.

Drawn in 30 seconds: (snip-go see!)

Kennedy Center’s events scheduled for LGBTQ+ pride celebration canceled, organizers say

https://apnews.com/article/world-pride-kennedy-center-trump-lgbtq-69fbf0ca20c2f9c36f49f8311f8bf1b6

The Kennedy Center is seen Aug. 13, 2019, in Washington. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin, File)

The Kennedy Center is seen Aug. 13, 2019, in Washington. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin, File)

 

BLACKPRESSUSA UPDATE COMING SOON – The Smithsonian PURGE: Trump Team Removes Artifacts of Black Resistance

BLACKPRESSUSA UPDATE COMING SOON – The Smithsonian PURGE: Trump Team Removes Artifacts of Black Resistance


The racism in this tRump administration is incredible.  They are desperate to remove anything positive done by people who are not white cis straight males.  They want nothing that shows women or brown / black people.  They want segregation back.    They want subservient women who have to do as a male tells them.  They are desperate to have a white straight cis male dominated society.  The adminstartion is full of white supramcists who believe that teaching the true history, that telling people the truth is “… improper ideology”.   Hugs

Attorney Lindsey Halligan is reportedly consulting Vice President JD Vance to “remove improper ideology” from Smithsonian properties. According to a recent Washington Post article, Halligan told Trump the Smithsonian needs “changing,” and he has since ordered her to act.


Critics warn: it’s not just history being erased—it’s identity.

Greensboro lunch counter exhibit

April Ryan

BLACKPRESSUSA UPDATE COMING SOON – The Smithsonian PURGE: Trump Team Removes Artifacts of Black Resistance

Critics warn: it’s not just history being erased—it’s identity.

Greensboro lunch counter exhibit

1960 Woolworth’s lunch counter sit-in display

 

By April D. Ryan
Washington Bureau Chief

BLACKPRESSUSA NEWSWIRE – Black Press USA has learned that Trump officials are sending back exhibit items to their rightful owners and dismantling them—starting with the 1960 Woolworth’s lunch counter sit-in exhibit.

“This president is a master of distraction and is destroying what it took 250 years to build. Here’s another distraction in his quest for attention. Another failure of his first 100 days,” said North Carolina Rep. Alma Adams, responding to efforts to physically remove the Greensboro, North Carolina, Woolworth’s lunch counter exhibit from the National Museum of African American History and Culture—affectionately known as the “Blacksonian.”

The exhibit features portions of the original lunch counter and highlights the story of four Black male students from North Carolina A&T who were brutally attacked after sitting at the whites-only counter Feb. 1, 1960. When denied service, the students refused to leave. Their defiance ignited a wave of lunch counter sit-ins across the South and became a major flashpoint in the Civil Rights Movement.

Adams added, “We are long past the time when you can erase history—anyone’s history. You can take down exhibits, close buildings, take down websites, ban books, and try to change history, but we are long past that point. We will never forget!”

Black Press USA has also obtained a letter from Dr. Amos Brown, long-standing civil rights leader and pastor of Third Baptist Church in San Francisco—also known as the home church of former Vice President Kamala Harris.

The letter notifies Dr. Brown that the museum is returning a Bible and George W. Williams’s History of the Negro Race in America, 1618-1880, one of the first books on racism in the U.S. Black Press USA has obtained emails from April 10 and 15, 2025, confirming the transfer.

The excerpt obtained by Black Press USA reads:

Dear Reverend Brown,
“I wanted to alert you that the National Museum of African American History and Culture (NMAAHC) will be returning your Bible and book we borrowed for our exhibition, Segregation.” (Email to Dr. Amos Brown)

These artifacts have been on display since the museum’s opening in September 2016. Dr. Brown has confirmed he will accept their return.

For Dr. Amos Brown, the artifacts meant something.

“Those two books and the summary of my civil rights activism and my picture right there next to Medgar Evers, John Lewis, and Fred Shuttlesworth in the desegregation of civil rights exhibit… That book [History of the Negro Race in America] inspired me before there were even African studies published. In my home, in that 3rd Street Baptist Church, we studied that book. The Bible—that’s my father’s Bible and the Bible I used in the Civil Rights Movement. When we went on demonstrations, we always had the Bible.”

While civil rights leaders are seeing their history returned behind the scenes, other actors are influencing the future of national memory.

Attorney Lindsey Halligan is reportedly consulting Vice President JD Vance to “remove improper ideology” from Smithsonian properties. According to a recent Washington Post article, Halligan told Trump the Smithsonian needs “changing,” and he has since ordered her to act.

Halligan stated, “I would say that improper ideology would be weaponizing history. We don’t need to overemphasize the negative to teach people that certain aspects of our nation’s history may have been bad.” That overemphasis, she argued, “just makes us grow further and further apart.”

Emails from April 10 and 152025

New Mexico judge and wife arrested for hiding an alleged Venezuelan gang member in their house

https://www.msn.com/en-us/crime/general/new-mexico-judge-and-wife-arrested-for-hiding-an-alleged-venezuelan-gang-member-in-their-house/ar-AA1DCdVU


These people are not undocumented.  They had immigration papers.  Plus the  Tren de Aragua gang do not have common tattoos nor hand signals.  So everything the government claims is again suspect and wrong.  I offer the quotes below.  They had papers saying this person is not subject to removal but ICE took them anyway.   Hugs

 

“Let me be as crystal clear as possible,” Cano wrote in his resignation, obtained by KOAT. “The very first time I ever heard that the boys could possibly have any association with Tren de Aragua was when I was informed of that by [the] agents on the day of the raid.”

He added that each of the men had immigration paperwork that suggested that they were not subject to removal. “Their papers stated in the upper right-hand corner, ‘This Person is Not Subject to Removal.’ They each had a specific court date regarding their asylum hearing,” Cano stated.


Story by Kelly Rissman
 • 23h

Immigration authorities raided a former New Mexico judge’s home, where they accused him of harboring an alleged Tren de Aragua gang member, and took him into custody.

Former Dona Ana County Magistrate Judge Joel Cano, 67, and his wife, Nancy Cano, 68, were arrested by Immigration and Customs Enforcementx Thursday after a tipster claimed that undocumented migrants associated with the Venezuelan gang were staying at their home. The couple has been charged with tampering with evidence, jail records show.

The investigation began in January 2025 after ICE received an anonymous tip that “an illegal alien from Venezuela and a suspected member of a criminal gang, was residing with other illegal aliens in the United States” at the judge’s home in Las Cruces and was in possession of firearms, according to court filings.

Two search warrants were executed at the Canos’ home on February 28, during which authorities seized four guns and took three immigrants into custody, documents say.

The judge resigned in March after federal authorities accused the couple of housing an undocumented Venezuelan immigrant, Cristhian Ortega-Lopez, at their home.

A former New Mexico judge, Joel Cano, and his wife, Nancy Cano, were arrested after ICE accused them of harboring members of a Venezuelan gang (Dona Ana County Jail)

“Let me be as crystal clear as possible,” Cano wrote in his resignation, obtained by KOAT. “The very first time I ever heard that the boys could possibly have any association with Tren de Aragua was when I was informed of that by [the] agents on the day of the raid.”

He added that each of the men had immigration paperwork that suggested that they were not subject to removal. “Their papers stated in the upper right-hand corner, ‘This Person is Not Subject to Removal.’ They each had a specific court date regarding their asylum hearing,” Cano stated.

He continued: “I have three grandkids that I love dearly. Their ages are 15, 8 and 6. There is no way in the world that I would have allowed my grandkids to have any contact with the boys if I had sensed danger.”

Ortego-Lopez installed a glass door for Nancy Cano in late 2023, according to court documents. He continued doing a few jobs for her in 2024 and after he was evicted from his apartment in April 2024, she offered him a stay in their “casita,” a small house on their property. There, Ortego-Lopez was given access to guns, the filing says.

Ortega-Lopez allegedly posted photos of himself on social media holding guns. Agents also looked at the social media accounts of the other undocumented immigrants staying at the judge’s house that suggests “clear indicators” of association with the Venezuelan gang.

“These indicators included tattoos, clothing apparel and displaying hand gestures,” the government wrote.

Nancy Cano has been accused of witness tampering after she allegedly let Venezuelan gang members live in a ‘casita’ on her property (Dona Ana County Jail)

President Donald Trump’s administration has repeatedly relied on tattoos to identify alleged gang members. ICE has been apparently relying on a scorecard — the “Alien Enemies Act Validation Guide” — to determine whether Venezuelan immigrants are eligible for deportation, ACLU lawyers have said. If migrants reach a score of eight points or higher, they are “validated as members” of the Tren de Aragua gang, the guide states. Tattoos are worth four points.

Last month, the administration sent three planes carrying dozens of Venezuelans to a notorious prison in El Salvador after the president invoked the Alien Enemies Act, a 1798 wartime law.

The president’s order states that “all Venezuelan citizens 14 years of age or older who are members of [Tren de Aragua], are within the United States, and are not actually naturalized or lawful permanent residents of the United States are liable to be apprehended, restrained, secured, and removed as Alien Enemies.” The ACLU sued administration officials over their use of the Alien Enemies Act and a judge issued a temporary restraining order barring the migrants from being deported. Still, the planes flew to El Salvador; the judge this month said he found “probable cause” to hold the Trump administration in criminal contempt.

The Supreme Court ruled earlier this month that the Trump administration has the authority to deport migrants under the centuries-old act but also ordered that the government provide detainees an opportunity to contest their removals in court districts nearest to the detention centers where they are being held.

The Independent is the world’s most free-thinking news brand, providing global news, commentary and analysis for the independently-minded. We have grown a huge, global readership of independently minded individuals, who value our trusted voice and commitment to positive change. Our mission, making change happen, has never been as important as it is today.

2 In 5 Corporations Scaling Back LGBTQ Pride Engagement Amid Trump Administration Pressure, Survey Finds

https://www.forbes.com/sites/conormurray/2025/04/24/2-in-5-corporations-scaling-back-lgbtq-pride-engagement-amid-trump-administration-pressure-survey-finds/


This is why I keep saying we must be vocal and show our displeasure with companies that pull back out of fear.  We must voice it also with our money.  I used to shop Target, but until they reverse their polices I won’t spend a dime in any of their stores.  I know you can search and there are websites that show pro-LGBTQ+ stores and those who betrayed the LGBTQ+.  But the right learned from the protests and tactics used by the LGBTQ+ in the past.  We were vocal, we were loud, we worked both behind the scenes with companies and we made it clear we have disposable money to shop.  A lot of gay people still do.  Hugs


Conor Murray

Murray is a Forbes news reporter covering entertainment trends.

 

Nearly two-fifths of corporations plan on scaling back engagement for LGBTQ Pride Month this June, an uptick from the same survey last year, while another two-fifths said their support would remain unchanged, according to a survey of corporate executives by Gravity Research, as some LGBTQ Pride organizations nationwide report fewer corporate sponsorships than past years.

Key Facts

Of the 49 executives surveyed from Fortune 1000 companies, those who said they were pulling back on Pride support cited pressure from conservative activists and President Donald Trump, who has signed executive orders gutting diversity, equity and inclusion and targeting the transgender community.

Of the 39% of companies who said they would reduce Pride Month engagement this year, 43% said they would reduce external shows of support, which includes having a visual presence at or financially sponsoring Pride marches, offering a Pride merchandise line, updating social media branding and partnering with influencers for Pride-themed sponsorships.

Fewer respondents, 19%, said their decreased engagement for Pride would be internal, including internal communication with employees about commitments to equality and offering employee resource groups.

About 41% of the companies surveyed said their support for Pride will remain unchanged this year, while the rest responded “don’t know” or “haven’t decided.”

Last year just 9% of companies told Gravity Research last year they would alter their Pride Month engagement plans.

Crucial Quote

Gravity Research president Luke Hartig told Forbes the survey “reveals just how dramatically the cultural and political tides have turned,” stating two-fifths of companies scaling back Pride Month engagement “would’ve been unthinkable just five years ago.” Hartig said, though, “most are holding firm internally, continuing to show up for LGBTQ+ employees and allies via events, partnerships with ERGs, and reiterating workplace inclusion.”

What Did Corporate Leaders Say About Reducing Pride Month Engagement?

One corporate leader told Gravity Research their company would reduce their acknowledgement of Pride Month on social media to “minimize public visibility that could trigger attention.” An unnamed corporate executive at a Fortune 500 consumer staples company told Gravity Research it has “reduced risk across all heritage month events” by “focusing internally and doing what’s right for our people and not necessarily shouting to the world about it.” Some executives told Gravity Research they are preparing talking points in response to their Pride Month activities, including one financial executive, who said their company has provided HR employees with prepared responses for employees who question its Pride Month support. The financial executive also said their company is planning to take a “more conservative approach to how we are acknowledging Pride month on our social media channels.”

Surprising Fact

Business-to-consumer companies (71%) are more likely than business-to-business companies (53%) to prepare for Pride Month-related backlash, Gravity Research reported, which it says shows “increased public pressure and threat of consumer backlash.”

Which Pride Organizations Have Lost Corporate Sponsors?

Some of the United States’ biggest Pride organizations have said corporate sponsors pulled back financial support this year. Anheuser-Busch, the alcoholic beverage company that battled a wave of conservative backlash in 2023 over a partnership between Bud Light and transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney, declined to support St. Louis Pride in 2025 after more than 30 years of sponsorship, St. Louis Pride said in an Instagram post. San Francisco Pride organizers told Forbes Anheuser-Busch also declined to support the organization this year, as did previous sponsors Comcast and alcoholic beverage company Diageo, representing a loss of $200,000 in corporate sponsorship funding. Pride Houston’s board of directors told Forbes some corporate sponsors reduced support by as much as 75%, totaling $100,000 in lost funds. Chris Piedmont, media director for NYC Pride, told Forbes some corporate sponsors have scaled back budgets, though he did not name specific companies. The loss of funding has led some organizations to turn to crowdfunding, including St. Louis Pride and Twin Cities Pride in Minnesota, which cut ties with Target after the company walked back its diversity, equity and inclusion measures in January.

Key Background

Some companies have faced backlash among conservative activists in recent years for their support for LGBTQ pride, notably Bud Light, which lost its spot as the top beer in the United States after facing a consumer boycott over its partnership with Mulvaney. Within about a month of the Bud Light boycott, which began in April 2023, Bud Light’s sales were down 26% compared to the year prior. Other companies that faced online attacks and boycotts included Nike, which also partnered with Mulvaney in 2023, and Target, which sparked outrage for selling a swimsuit marketed for trans women. In response to backlash, Target removed some of its LGBTQ pride items from stores. Target has faced renewed boycotts in recent weeks after it joined a wave of companies walking back diversity, equity and inclusion standards, angering critics who viewed the company as a longtime LGBTQ ally. Target’s foot traffic in stores has been down year-over-year for 11 straight weeks, beginning with the week after it dropped DEI commitments in January, Retail Brew reported.

China cancels 12,000 metric tons of US pork shipments

China cancels 12,000 metric tons of US pork shipments 

by Filip Timotija – 04/24/25 4:32 PM ET

China canceled 12,000 metric tons of United States pork shipments amid a high-stakes trade standoff between the superpowers, according to data released Thursday.

China, one of the biggest U.S. trading partners, axed 12,000 metric tons of U.S. pork orders, the data from the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) shows.

The move represents the biggest cancellation of pork orders since the COVID-19 pandemic disrupted supply chains and stalled economies around the world, Bloomberg News reported.

China, behind Mexico and Japan, was the U.S.’s third-biggest market for pork in 2024, importing some 475,000 metric tons valued at more than $1.1 billion.

China is the world’s biggest producer of pork, accounting for nearly 50 percent of global supply at around 57 million metric tons, according to the USDA. The U.S. was ranked third at 11 percent with 12 million metric tons.

President Trump shook the global trading system by imposing sweeping tariffs earlier this month on dozens of countries. He slapped a 145 percent tariff on Chinese goods coming into the U.S., prompting China to fire back with its own 125 percent duty.

China said Thursday that the U.S. is not engaged in talks to come up with a new trade deal, a characterization that Trump rejected later in the day.

“They had meetings this morning, and we’ve been meeting with China. And, so I think you have … as usual, I think you have your reporting wrong,” Trump told reporters Thursday.

After the tariff hikes, China inked two agricultural trade agreements with Spain, for pork and cherries, as Beijing looks to strengthen relations with European countries, Reuters reported.

U.S. pork imports are now facing a 172 percent tariff, the U.S. Meat Export Federation said, according to Bloomberg News.

‘I’ll Hook You up to a F*****g Polygraph!’ Hegseth Reportedly ERUPTED at Joint Chiefs Chairman He Suspected of Leaking To the Press

‘I’ll Hook You up to a F*****g Polygraph!’ Hegseth Reportedly ERUPTED at Joint Chiefs Chairman He Suspected of Leaking To the Press

Pete Hegseth

AP Photo/Alex Brandon

Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth went off on the acting Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff amid a search for a leaker at the Pentagon, according to a report published Thursday in The Wall Street Journal.

The paper said Hegseth was “rattled” after word got out last month that the Pentagon was set to brief Elon Musk on China, where the Tesla CEO has three factories. President Donald Trump denied the report the next day. However, Axios later reported that Trump had canceled the briefing while asking, “What the fuck is Elon doing here?”

During his search for the leaker, Hegseth erupted at Admiral Christopher Grady, who was then the acting Chairman of the Joint Chiefs.

“I’ll hook you up to a f——-g polygraph!” Hegseth shouted at the admiral, the Journal reported, according to two people familiar with the interaction. The secretary demanded proof that Grady was not the source of the Musk leak. Grady was never polygraphed. Hegseth reportedly threatened others with a polygraph test, including Lt. Gen. Doug Sims, the Joint Chiefs director.

The report is just the latest trouble for Hegseth. After a slog of a confirmation fight that ended with the vice president casting the tie-breaking vote, the secretary has only provided his detractors with fodder. Last month, it was revealed that Hegseth shared looming plans for airstrikes in Yemen with more than a dozen administration officials in a Signal group chat. This week, it was reported that he shared the same plans in another chat with his wife, brother, and lawyer. It was also reported that Hegseth set up a makeup studio at the Pentagon to be used ahead of television appearances, which Hegseth denied. Last week, Hegseth lost four staffers amid what one Pentagon official called “chaos” at the department. And on Thursday, the Associated Press reported that Hegseth used “an internet connections that bypassed the Pentagon’s security protocols set up in his office to use the Signal messaging app on a personal computer,” according to two sources.

For its report, the Journal said the Pentagon did not respond to a request for comment.

Hegseth had an unsecured internet line set up in his office to connect to Signal, AP sources say

https://apnews.com/article/hegseth-signal-chat-dirty-internet-line-6a64707f10ca553eb905e5a70e10bd9d

Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth listens as President Donald Trump meets with Norwegian Prime Minister Jonas Gahr Støre during a bilateral meeting in the Oval Office of the White House, Thursday, April 24, 2025, in Washington. (AP Photo/Mark Schiefelbein)

Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth listens as President Donald Trump meets with Norwegian Prime Minister Jonas Gahr Støre during a bilateral meeting in the Oval Office of the White House, Thursday, April 24, 2025, in Washington. (AP Photo/Mark Schiefelbein)

Milwaukee County Circuit Judge Hannah Dugan arrested by federal authorities at Courthouse

https://www.jsonline.com/story/news/breaking/2025/04/25/milwaukee-county-judge-hannah-dugan-arrested-by-feds-at-courthouse/83270885007/

The judge was to be arraigned that day.  Under federal procedures, she would likely appear in U.S. District Court on the day of the arrest.  Instead she was sent to an ICE detention facility and denied her due process rights.  This is not legal nor right.   They refused her rights to due process.  She is a citizen.  Hugs

Portrait of Daniel BiceDaniel Bice

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Milwaukee County Circuit Judge Hannah Dugan was arrested April 25 by federal authorities who are investigating whether she tried to help an undocumented immigrant avoid arrest after he appeared in her courtroom last week, officials confirmed.

Brady McCarron, spokesman for U.S. Marshals Service in Washington, D.C., confirmed Dugan was arrested at about 8 a.m. at the Milwaukee County Courthouse and is in federal custody. Under federal procedures, she would likely appear in U.S. District Court on the day of the arrest.

FBI Director Kash Patel posted on X about the arrest. He later deleted the post.

“Just NOW, the FBI arrested Judge Hannah Dugan out of Milwaukee, Wisconsin on charges of obstruction — after evidence of Judge Dugan obstructing an immigration arrest operation last week,” Patel wrote. “We believe Judge Dugan intentionally misdirected federal agents away from the subject to be arrested in her courthouse, Eduardo Flores Ruiz, allowing the subject — an illegal alien — to evade arrest.”

A screenshot of a since-deleted April 25 tweet by FBI Director Kash Patel
A screenshot of a since-deleted April 25 tweet by FBI Director Kash Patel

Multiple Milwaukee County judges confirmed that the arrest took place at the courthouse. Chief Judge Carl Ashley confirmed the incident in an email to courthouse officials.

Officials have not yet identified the defendant whom she is accused of assisting, but it appears to be Eduardo Flores-Ruiz, a Mexican immigrant facing three misdemeanor battery counts. He was in Dugan’s courtroom on April 18 for a pre-trial conference.

Flores-Ruiz, 30, is listed as being in ICE custody at Dodge Detention Facility in Juneau, according to the federal online detainee locator system.

Sources have told the Journal Sentinel that ICE officials arrived in Dugan’s courtroom on the morning of April 18. When they went to the chief judge’s office, Dugan directed the defendant and his attorney to a side door in the courtroom, directed them down a private hallway and into the public area on the 6th floor.

Last week’s arrest marked at least the third time in recent months that federal immigration agents have come to the courthouse with arrest warrants. In March and early April, two people were arrested by ICE officials in the hallways of the courthouse.

This is a breaking story and was updated with new information. More updates are coming.

“Secure” Locations

Classified Dum-Dums by Clay Jones

This is what happens when you only hire morons Read on Substack

I read a theory on Facebook yesterday, which means there was heavy research behind it (sarcasm), that Trump only hired morons because they would provide distractions from all the Trump Fuckery he’s implementing. I think that might be a bonus, but I don’t agree with it.

I think Trump only hires morons, not because they’re morons, but because they’re all sycophants and none will challenge his Trump Fuckery. For the love of God, Kristi Noem even got the Melania hairstyle. I’m kinda shocked JD Vance didn’t get it too.

We’ve gone over the idiot picked from Fox & Friends in the Defense Department, Pete Hegseth, inadvertently leaking classified intel, so let’s discuss the puppy-murdering idiot at Homeland Security.

Kristi Noem had her purse snatched while at Capital Burger in Washington, DC. Surveillance footage showed the suspect purposefully moving close to Noem as he zeroed in on her Gucci bag near her feet.

A source said the thief, dressed in dark clothing, sat down at an empty table next to Noem with his back facing her and used his left foot to slide the bag away. He surveyed the restaurant before eventually picking up the bag, covering it with his jacket, and leaving.

He was a smooth criminal, but ya ain’t gotta be that smooth to steal from a Trump dummy.

Country mouse still has a lot to learn about living in the big city (knock on wood since I’m still in Chicago), and one of the things you should know is to keep your bag in your vision. For example: My backpack, which my iPad, passport, keys, and other items is in right now, is sitting on the chair right across from me in this Starbucks while I write this.

See? No one’s gonna steal my Mocha Frappe either.

So Kristi doesn’t know how to traverse the big city, but what’s her detail’s excuse? While Noem was dining with her family, who still hasn’t alienated her despite the puppy killing, the Secret Service inside the restaurant keeping an eye on things. Well, most things.

The thief managed to swipe Noem’s purse right in from of her, the Secret Service, and every member of those yee-haw fuckers she calls her family. This must be a criminal mastermind. If the government catches him, I suggest they hire him. He can teach the Secret Service how thieves steal from MAGA morons.

But what’s interesting is what was inside Noem’s Gucci bag, as it included a Louis Vuitton Clemence wallet, her driver’s license, medication, apartment keys, passport, DHS access badge, makeup bag, blank checks, and about $3,000 in cash.

Ya know, if a Russian, North Korean, or Chinese spy wanted to access our government, they don’t have to do none of that Tom Cruise Mission Impossible crap. They would just need to snatch Kristi Noem’s purse…or just wait for Pete Hegseth to share classified intel on a chat app, or for Trump to Tweet it or hand it to Russians in the Oval Office.

But what was Kristi doing with $3,000 in cash? Did the thief also steal her pager? Paging Director Dumbass! A DHS spokesgoon said, “Her entire family was in town, including her children and grandchildren – she was using the withdrawal to treat her family to dinner, activities, and Easter gifts.”

Hey, country mouse. Have you ever heard of a bank card? Even the food trucks in DC take them. Try the Venezuelan food truck by the L’Enfant Metro station. It’s amazeballs.

Sure, we should all keep some cash on us, because you never know, but $3,000 is a bit much. And why is she carrying blank checks? Hardly anyone takes checks anymore, and everyone should be advised not to take checks from Trumpers. Elon’s probably still waiting for Trump’s check to clear for the Tesla he purchased on the White House lawn.

Jonathan Wackrow, a CNN law enforcement analyst and former Secret Service agent, said, “If necessary, the Secret Service will need to make operational changes on how they deal with these types of private events moving forward.” If anything, it’ll be necessary for the Secret Service to adjust and realize they’re guarding very stupid people now, people who aren’t smart enough to keep their stuff in their sight.

Wackrow also said Noem remains “at higher risk for targeted threats, both by foreign and domestic actors, and just her public profile alone makes her a symbolic target.”

Well, she’s a higher target now that everyone knows how stupid she is.

Chicago note: After my deadlines were met yesterday, I was free to go exploring. I got a meatloaf sandwich at a place where the waiters insult you.

(snip-MORE, go see!)