I’m so damn tired

Hello Everyone. Scottie recently asked me why I’ve not posted in a while. How do I tell this man who has been fighting the good fight for so many years that I’m just so damned tired? I’m so tired of being lied to, of being called names because I don’t believe the lies, of being caught between morality and caring for people caught in the trumpian trap. I’ve written this post over and over, and each time it seems so damned obvious that I run into the exhausted question of “what’s the damned point”? How can people be so blind, so hateful, so abusive and willing to be robbed by this unrepentent conman thief, this criminal in cheap suit, this shit-stain on the satin sheets?
I actually looked into asking an AI why politics in the trump era is so damned exhausting. This is what it said:

Politics, particularly in the Trump era, are exhausting due to constant, high-stakes news coverage, extreme polarization, and the erosion of traditional political norms. This creates a 24/7 cycle of outrage, fear-based media consumption, and personal fatigue, with 65% of Americans reporting feeling “worn out” by the political environment. NPR NPR +4

Key reasons for this exhaustion include:

Constant Crisis and High Drama: The political climate is defined by perpetual drama, making it difficult to find calm or “normal” moments, leading to a state of constant, low-level stress.
Breaking Norms: The Trump administration frequently violated long-held political, social, and legal norms, which created a sense of instability and constant, shocking developments.
Extreme Polarization and Tribalism: Politics has become an “us vs. them” mentality, where individuals may view opposing views as existential threats rather than just policy disagreements.
Information Overload: Social media algorithms and a 24-hour news cycle create a constant stream of political content, making it difficult to escape or disengage.
Personalized Politics: Political opinions have become closely linked to personal identity, making political debates feel deeply personal and emotionally charged.
Financial Stress: Economic concerns, such as rising costs for necessities, are often part of the political narrative, adding to the feeling of personal strain. The Conversation +6

I rambled for paragraphs, deleted, rambled for paragraphs again. The simple thing, the direct thing is likely best here. Dammit, I’m tired of just how bad it all is and not having a way to repair it. My only choice is to pull in, withdraw, ignore it all.

Ok, I’ve got chicken frying. Sorry to be such a downer, but I guess I’ve run out of impotent rage. Hugs.

Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Good Evening, Everyone!! It was 15 degrees on this unknown-numbered day of the apocalypse. I salted, chipped ice, shoveled while I shivered, my shoulders ached, my lips chapped… I’m so looking forward to the greens of spring!

In all honesty, though, I’m a Michigan kid. I had some of my favorite days on winter sleds, building show forts in plowed snow piles, snowball fights (and yes, I did save one in the freezer just to throw it at my sister in June :D) and snowmobiles. I can ice-fish without a shanty, cross-country ski and drink peppermint schnapps with the best of them. So, this year’s winter has been a measure of beautiful nights of softly falling snow while I sat by the window with a hot cup of coffee – you know, in the midst of the shoveling and salting and freezing and stuff. I remember it more fondly as a kid?

May you find your moments of zen in the harshness that life brings. Stay Warm!

randy

An Answer to a Struggle.

Hello Everyone, and Hello to you, Scottie!

A bit ago, Scottie – you put out a post titled “I have struggled all day”. In that post, you included two songs, and for those who have been on this blog for a while we do recognize Terry Jacks.
Music is a huge part of my life. I sing like a water buffalo with laryngitis, but I love music. It works to lift me up when I’m down, it reminds me of special people and special times in my life, it brings me peace, and sometimes it allows me to be angry. Music can sing to a person’t soul, lighten one’s load. It allows me to cry when I need to cry, to hope when hope seems gone. It reminds me that I’m not alone.
So, I have three songs here. Two are just a bit tongue-in-cheek, but the last is very special to me. I sent you this song, Scottie, a long time ago. It is my favorite cover of that song.
My challenge and my ask to everyone is to please add in the comments the songs that you love, that feed your heart and soul. Songs that make you smile, make you cry, make you dance or sing in a crowded grocery store because you just can’t not sing or dance when you hear it. Because like the last song says so clearly: we are all in this together, whether we want to be or not. 🙂

I love you, my brother!
Randy

Careful. That one gets in your ear and you can’t get it out.

That one for my big brother, who I do my best to irritate – as all brothers should.

And finally, this one, to remind to remind my very wonderful brother and all of us that no matter how much we may feel alone, we are not. We are loved – first we need to remember that we have to love ourselves no matter how we are feeling (easier said, I know). But, we also have to remember that there are people who rely on us, who hope in us, who see our mangled spirit and troubled mind as a life-line in cold dark seas and really think we are something grand even when we don’t.

So, Again Everyone… please let me know the songs that are special to you, and perhaps even why they are special. Music is the magic. Randy

Some Relevant Memes

Hugs.

Randy

A Lament

These past months have been difficult. I was so very shocked to see the death of Renee Good, how chaos and hate seem to be the republican drug of choice, and how horrible it is to consider that we have but begun this 4-year trip through hell. Recently somehow this song found its way into my youtube playlist. All I could think as these young voices invaded my troubled thoughts was what are we leaving for them?

America the Beautiful followed, a song we all know if not by memory then certainly we recognize it when we hear it sung before the football game on Friday Night. “O Beautiful, for Spacious Skies, For Amber Waves of Grain…” proudly sung by the proud and mighty citizens, the mothers and fathers, grandfathers with war wounds and grandmothers who know loss and pain yet hope. It is a calm and flowing song, one that somehow has always given me a peaceful heart for in that long ago poem is a promise of home.

President Kennedy, long ago, asked Americans to consider what they could do for their country. I think many think that is defined as joining the military, and that is certainly one great thing a person can do but there are far more. And, I think it is primarily why tRumpf has sought to destroy the legacy of the Kennedy Presidency by paving over the Rose Garden and defacing the Kennedy Center for Performing Arts.

See, I don’t think Kennedy asked us to serve in the military. I think President Kennedy asked us to Love Our Country! Like the song America the Beautiful, he asked us to recognize the beauty of our home, he asked us to treasure it, he asked us to see it not as a resource to be stripped bare but the precious refuge of our grandparents and where our children rest their heads as they dream of their future. I think Kennedy voiced a challenge, a warning and a condemnation that there will come those who seek to strip our precious home like a thief in the night – a conman who lied his way past the door and is filling his pockets.

It is a sadness that so many in this beautiful home we share have determined that they can only hate the others who would hope to enjoy living here. To look upon another’s misery with spite, blaming the wounded for their wounds and glorying in the overflowing pockets of the thieves who seek to steal the silverware is a sickness that I don’t understand. I don’t understand those who say they have love in their heart yet show contempt in their words and actions for others. Especially I can not find understanding for those who claim to love Jesus yet fail in every definition of love that he gives us. Perhaps it is no wonder they are cruel, because surely their hearts are convicted and defensive in their misery as they have given away their love for their country and their Christianity for a red hat.

randy

a bit of Betty

“…that used to be my stripper name…” LOL! Randy

A Different Reality

I am not transgender. And, perhaps like some who read Scottie’s blog, there are times when I wonder why I am reading so much about transgender and non-binary issues, since they don’t really effect me. I’m simply me, an overweight white guy who has struggled with his orientation and confidence. Interestingly enough, I’m – as written – not Hispanic. I was born in the USA, so why should I care about some of the other posts Scottie shows on his blog about ICE/Immigration? I think you know where I am going with this.

On the first day of tRump’s occupation, he signed an executive order that the United States would no longer recognize anything but born male/born female as a gender to the applause of a disappointingly large number of people. With the literal stroke of a pen, a person’s identity was made to be unrecognized by their very own government.

And, just as he has chosen to remove men and women from our communities without the right of Habeas Corpus, one of the very principles our country was founded upon, who will be next to learn they are a non-person and suddenly unworthy of liberty? Will it be me, a struggling fat white guy who doesn’t conform to the cis ideal? Will it be when I become old and can no longer work? Will it be because I don’t agree with the Maga mantra? What will I have to fake to be still acceptable to the powers?

I’d like to paraphrase and steal another’s words here:

The Declaration of Independence identified “the pursuit of happiness” as one of our unalienable rights, along with life and liberty… Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and Alexander Hamilton (spoke about what) happiness meant in their lives, how they understood the pursuit of happiness as a quest for being good, not feeling good—the pursuit of lifelong virtue, not short-term pleasure. Among those virtues were the habits of industry, temperance, moderation, and sincerity, which the Founders viewed as part of a daily struggle for self-improvement, character development, and calm self-mastery. They believed that political self-government required personal self-government.

Now this is arguable, but I want to believe it. I want to believe and agree that the creation of this country was about more than the pursuit of power, but about the pursuit of happiness, of completion, of understanding and identity. I believe that the creation of this country was to be about self-determination and self-actualization, not conformity to some distorted and corrupted image of a diseased head of state.

It is for this reason that I embrace the rights and honor of those who are transgender, non-binary, or any who are seeking to understand that person in the mirror. In fact, I see it as a fundamental aspect of being an American that we accept those who are in the journey of self. Further, just as Jesus Christ is reported to exhort us to welcome the stranger – because it is only by befriending those different from whoever I am that I can hope to one day fully understand Randy.

I welcome respectful comments and even disagreements to this post. hugs.

When Fiction Becomes All Too Real

Navigation in the Modern World

Good Morning All. One of the difficulties and blessings we enjoy is the very thing we are doing right now: social media. People are able to express their information, their interests, their opinions to a world. We once trusted the network news and then a clown descended an escalator. Below is a 15-minute video from Neal DeGrasse Tyson that I found really helpful in navigating the bull. Hugs. Randy

Holidays Behind the Mask

Good Morning All. I’m writing from the other side of another holiday spent mostly alone. On the one hand, I like it this way. On the other, it gets lonely and I have to admit that as much as I hated “family holidays” growing up, I miss something that I can’t quite define. Is it that feeling that I’m supposed to be with ‘loved ones’ during the holidays? Is it that I am forced to recognize that just isn’t really an option? Is it that there is so much hype of the holiday that I must be missing something fundamental?

Today I watched a Casey LaDelle video and he pointed out the parking lots filled with trucks, drivers abandoned to the loneliness of a holiday alone. I watched a video last night about the elderly who have raised and lost their family and now subsist on memories of holidays gone by. And I watched a video about those with mental illness, physical illness or those who have made decisions to live their life differently than their family would accept who survive another Hallmark Video alone. For some, the holidays are a joy, but for others it is only another reminder that they are alone.

So, Please find it in your heart and thoughts to be kind to those you meet, especially during these holidays. You who shop and decorate and bake for families are decidedly stressed out, and so are those who are running the cash registers, the elderly man wandering the grocery stores with nothing much in his cart but very much in your way, and those who work their 40-hours and mosey home in your way on the highways to a cold house and a bologna sandwich. For some, the holidays are anything but Merry, and that paper mask they wear is for you.

Fair warning: The following video is hard for some to watch. For those who also struggle a bit on holidays, I empathize and send love. Hugs. Randy