Things I don’t tell Mom

There was a time, long ago before my eyes starting going bad and when foolishness was that bit of mischief all of us get into whether someone is there to see it or not, and that our parents secretly laugh about because it was the same stuff they did.

I was Bat Masterson, Billy the Kid or Wyatt Earp with my bb-gun. No, I didn’t have a Red Rider, I had a Crossman! And, I was a wiz, the terror of chipmunks everywhere. And, of course, me and my friend Benny had bb-gun fights, but we had a rule: no shooting in the face.

Some of you who have read my past writings are not surprised by this, but some of you may for the first time realize that yes, the boy is that dumb. And you have also recognized that this is, yes, another post on the demise of Charlie Kirk by someone who mistakenly believed a gun would solve his problems.

As I grew older I advanced my gun ownership advanced to a Marlin 22, then later to an older 30-06. I liked guns – until one day I realized that gun could solve all my problems, all my days of hatred, loneliness, my want to be different than what I was. One simple pull of one simple finger…

Dad talks of a time when he was in school and was part of an after-school gun club. He would get on the school bus with his gun and take it to school for his after hours activities. I remember when I took my hunter safety courses as a kid. Guns then were a tool; it was how we went hunting, sport targets, and in extreme moments perhaps, personal safety. Somehow they have gone beyond this. Now there are magazines by the truck-load telling us how we need a personal protection weapon as they peddle fear. Our politicians aren’t talking about how we need to deal with the issues that people think they need a gun to help them, but how they have the right to guns and how great and cool guns are.

I guess I’m a horrible person, because I just couldn’t really care less that Kirk is gone. He wasn’t an innocent by any stretch of the word. He advocated hate, he advocated second-class citizenry for those he didn’t like, he advocated for the right of the government to limit the rights of others that he didn’t like, and he even advocated for the loss of life so the importance of keeping his gun rights could be underscored. He advocated for the very scenerio that took his life, in a crushing bit of sad irony.

Who I do care about are those small children in that Catholic School who were shot while praying. No one flew them home on Air Force 2. I didn’t see Cenk Uygur crying for them! I didn’t the sitting republican party politicians calling out in outrage. I didn’t see fucking drumpf demanding retribution for the victims of the Colorado High School that happened that very same day! Somehow seeing one of their own shot was a bridge too far and little innocent children was not. And now, seeing that the shooter was a cis white male maga son of a cop, there went their favorite scape-goat that he was a plant of the Democrats.

But, evidently the nra checks cleared because I’m not seeing any hopeful measures to limit guns to ANYONE! Oh, let me take that back – drumpf wants to limit guns to the Trans community. Haven’t heard from the nra about the atrocity of such a statement yet…?

I once asked myself just what it would take before our children and young people became more important than our guns. I wondered what would it finally be to get people to demand that there be no more. Then I realized that the fear, the anger, the hatred that has been generated has just made us all tense and numb to it all; we are forlorn to the realization that it will never change because those in power are all too willing to sacrifice everything we care deeply about and even one of their corrupt mouthpieces to the money and power that death brings them.

Are My Words Even Necessary?

My Last Days in Reality

I’m not sure how to begin this tale. It seems like a fruitless endeavor, a constant push that yields little result but loss. I’ve watched the company I came to as an opportunity for a new start some five years ago slowly dwindle through decreasing ups and increasing downs to the point that I find myself frustrated with an inability to keep up with the disappointments.

These images I use are meant to be hyperbolic, nonetheless, they do well to express this lament, my own and others in this country, that I’m losing the fight.

The past weeks have seen our shop lose half of our workers due to layoffs, and more to leaving the fight to better opportunities elsewhere even as I am also dealing with reduced pay.

I thought I would learn so much at this job, and I have – though not quite the way I’d hoped, and not the things I’d hoped. And, now… Now I find that I am faced with a decision to fight the good fight and do what I can to save this floundering vessel, or am I committing slow suicide riding a sinking ship.

I am faced with the question of who is owed my loyalty? When the stone reaches the tipping point, do I push harder or do I get out of the impact zone? Our jobs are more than a way to put beans on the table; it is our identity, our productivity, our impetus to face the day and the very slings and arrows of life. I’ve sacrificed blood, sweat, tears, agility, health and a great deal of my sanity. Now I wonder if I’m too old, too broken down and jaded to begin anew.

These are the thoughts that have ravaged my spirit these past weeks. Some days reality sucks, the sky is dark and storms rage, but does that define my life or does it just describe my moment?

So, now, here I sit. A generally frugal nature and a number of blessings in my life has allowed me to realize some things: I’m not going to starve, I’m not going to be homeless, I’m just going to have a bit more time. The horror of being forced to deal with many of the things I just didn’t have the time or energy for earlier!!! So, no, I’m not worried for me. And, if I am so fortunate to ride out this storm I will be better for the opportunity to care for the things I’ve allowed to wallow in neglect. But, I very much do worry for those who will truly suffer under our Dear Leader.

-randy

Life Today

Hi Everyone. I’ve spoken with Scottie about this, but I don’t think I’ve brought it up here. These past couple of weeks have been very hard. My crew has been down to 32 hours since April, and now we’ve had to make the hard decision of lay-offs. I barely have enough work right now to keep half my people busy, and next month is looking like we will be lucky to pay the power bill much less payroll. My people are worried about their bills, putting food on the table, clothing their children for the school year. I gave money out of my wallet to one of our workers today because he couldn’t figure out how he was going go get his son home from spending time with the grandparents. That same employee is recently homeless, living out of a tent in a near by campground. But, thank God we made sure those billionaires got a tax break! Biden was such a horrible president, they say, yet everyone was working. I don’t understand their method of measurement.

Well, here are a few things…

Stay Strong, Be Smart, Love your Neighbor.

I could use some Watermelon Wine

Hi All. These pictures caught my attention and each put a smile on my face. When I realized they were affecting my spirit like this I knew I had to share them with you all. As I was getting the post ready, I found I had this song going through my mind sung by the consummate story teller, Tom T. Hall. I miss this type of peaceful music. I hope this post brings you a touch of peace today. -randy

Artist you may like

Hi Everyone. I’d like to share an artist that I think many will like. I enjoy learning of great singers that don’t seem to hit the radio. This is Dave Fenley. He’s got a great soulful and gravelly voice.

Straight Month?

I saw this clip and it reminded me about this weekend. Here’s the clip:

Have you ever noticed that people are quite happy with what they have right up until they see someone else have something they deem greater than their lot? Give one kid a cookie and they dance, give their sibling a larger cookie and tears run like desperate rivers – and far too many of us seem to hold on to that right through “adulthood”.

I was visiting with my parents this weekend and Dad had to tell me about a great comedian he heard. This great comedian made such a great point: Why is it that Abraham Lincoln, the man who freed the slaves, only gets one day of recognition. Worse, he asks, is that he has to share it with George Washington! How unfair, he says. I don’t really see him honoring Lincoln and Washington, but perhaps he does it quietly. But, in keeping with this comedian’s bit, if only they’d sucked off each-other, they would get a full month! Why isn’t that just humorous?

Some days I really don’t know what to think about people. Isn’t it bad enough that people who say they love us vote for those who’d choose to outlaw us, to kill us, to disenfranchise us, to relegate us to obscurity back into the closet? These same people hate, denigrate, despise… and I guess in Rob Schneider’s case, make jokes. He’s funny, don’t you know. I was rolling. Anyway … and those who say they love us vote for them, patronize them, clap for them, and tell their gay son just how that comedian is so very funny and wise.

Thanks Dad. Love you.

I get tired

Hello All;

Scottie asked me a bit ago why I’ve not been posting much. Well, I don’t have a lot of time, and – well, maybe I don’t have a lot of time for some of the crap I find myself having to make time to accomodate.

A ‘for example’ is that I’ve grown weary of having to justify my very existence to people who feel so self-righteous declaring my very life an abomination. That a man and woman would come together in love to bring about a new life is fantastic and magical, but it isn’t the conception of the new life that is amazing to me – it is the true love.

Then I hear people, perhaps those who seek popularity through any means available, say that marriage is only for people who can conceive, and if the individuals are men then they can’t conceive and therefore their love and marriage are invalid. I can only assume that they conflate the ability to make a baby with love, though many rape victims can tell us that isn’t accurate. I would speculate that such people don’t understand love. Perhaps the reason such people can’t understand the difference between an abomination and love is because they go into a room of strangers they call brothers and sisters and fear that who and what they find most attractive and fulfilling will be ridiculed by others.

Perhaps dressed in their “Sunday Best” they focus overmuch on the show they are putting on for each-other. Perhaps they are too fond of the judgement of others and too afraid of the sincerity and honesty of themselves.

Truly, I am finding myself tired of having to demonstrate that life is not so simple as the script they have written only for others to follow.

I am truly tired of having to demonstrate understanding to ignorance, patience to racism, peace to violence and love to spite. I’m tired of having to express myself in private for fear of offending sensibilities that are insensible and hurting the morality of those whose morality is first tested by convenience. I’m tired of fearing the “love” of the “Christ-like”.

Hugs.

Painful Words

I was struck by the backlash to the Texan pediatrician who was ostracized and lost her job because she pointed out that decisions have consequences, and all those who voted for drumpf in Texas are experiencing those painful consequences. Painful words uttered in despair, but damn – that doesn’t make them any less true.

How many times have we heard the line that “now isn’t the time to talk about this”? We’ve seen it with the debate on gun laws, and now we see it on this horrible consequence of firing those who warn us of dangerous weather.

But once again people have died, children have died, destruction and despair are gripping our nation, and the cause of that horror is not open for discussion? It’s being political in a time of national mourning? It’s insensitive? Decisions made in comfort and greed by those untouched by the disaster have exacted the ultimate cost, and they once again seek to control the conversation by denying the ability to explore how it happened!

So, is it safe to talk about these things now? Is it ok to talk about how stripping the social safety nets have consequences? Is it ok to seek to examine what we as a country believe in now, or are we waiting for the next disaster to blow through, the NEXT time parents weep looking for lost and dead children, or will it be one of the times after that? How long must we listen to the powerful deny the impact of greed, arrogance and ignorance.

My sincere sorrow for those who have lost loved.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/greg-abbott-asked-whos-blame-190307692.html

And, to respond to this fool Abbott; Smart teams look to see if the wrong plays were called, or more likely, the wrong people were making the wrong decisions.

hugs.