Catching Up-Some Clay Jones

Illegal Firefighters by Clay Jones

Maybe don’t deport the guy putting out your fire Read on Substack

Is every department in the Trump Regime headed by an idiot? Yes. Yes, they are.

The Defense Department is headed by a drunk womanizer whose qualification is that Trump liked the way he looked on Fox News. The Justice Department is led by a woman Trump has previously bribed, so he knows she’ll be loyal. The State Department is headed by a guy who is a coward, can’t think on his feet, and once insinuated that Donald Trump has a tiny penis, but fell in line shortly after that. The Department of Education is led by someone who may not be able to spell “education.” The Health Department’s chief is a guy who believes in chemtrails and that vaccines cause autism. The secretary of the Commerce Department doesn’t know that tariffs are taxes, and is an evil fuck who immediately ceased paying the salaries to the families of all his employees who died on 9/11. The Director of National Intelligence doesn’t have intelligence. The vice president (sic) is into dolphin porn and couch fucking, and doesn’t care that Trump may be America’s Hitler, as he has claimed in the past. And the head of the Department of Homeland Security, which oversees ICE, is a puppy murderer.

And since the head of DHS, Kristi Noem, is so evil and stupid, she’s arrested firefighters while they were fighting a forest fire.

Two firefighters were arrested last week while working the Bear Gulch fire in the Olympic National Forest in Washington State, which, as of last Friday, had burned about 14 square miles and only 13 percent of the fire contained, forcing people to evacuate their homes.

One of the firefighters was on track to achieve legal status for helping the federal government with a previous investigation. Border Patrol said it had been helping the Bureau of Land Management with a criminal investigation into two contractors working at the fire and a hat-wearing bear stealing picnic baskets when it discovered two firefighters who they claim were in the country without permanent legal status. But they were fighting a fire, so leave them alone and go find that bear.

The lawyers for one of the firefighters say his arrest was illegal, and violated DHS polices that say immigration enforcement must not be conducted at locations where emergency responses are happening. That makes sense. (snip-MORE)

Wishful Thinking by Clay Jones

He only looks dead Read on Substack

A trend about Trump’s health trended over Labor Day weekend which started rumors about Trump’s health, and even spread conspiracy theories that he had died.

No matter what the rumors say, Trump can’t be healthy. He’s 79, and the oldest president sworn into office. Joe Biden was 78 years and 61 days, and Trump was 78 years and 220 days. His maturity is still at 12 years of age.

Recently, Trump has been spotted with a weird bruise on his right hand, and he has cankles.

Last week, JD Vance was asked if he was ready to take over in case of a “tragedy,” and while he praised Trump’s health, he also praised his readiness to take over. This added fuel to the rumor fire, which was already blazing as Grandpa didn’t have any events scheduled over the three-day holiday weekend, though he did play golf Saturday morning.

The White House claimed his hand is bruised from “frequent handshaking.” How fragile is the old man?

A bruise is visible on the back of Trump's right hand during a meeting with South Korean President Lee Jae-myung on Aug. 25.

For Fun (Beverage Alert, Possibly)

Catching Up With Clay Jones & Open Windows

We were out for a while yesterday, so I didn’t get as much done here. I have a trove, and here it is:

Dear Leader’s cabinet meeting by Ann Telnaes

A three hour marathon of flattery and groveling Read on Substack

I didn’t think the outright ass-kissing could get any worse than his first term’s cabinet meetings

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Your Favorite Dictator by Clay Jones

Trump engages in dictator talk…again Read on Substack

Why would Donald Trump talk about becoming an American dictator…again?

NBC News reporter: Before signing a series of executive orders aimed at reducing crime in D.C. and across the nation, Trump referred to his critics bashing him for sending the National Guard to D.C., claiming that some people think they might “like a dictator.”

Referring to militarizing our cities, Trump said, “They say, ‘We don’t need him, freedom freedom. He’s a dictator. He’s a dictator.’ A lot of people are saying, ‘Maybe we like a dictator’…You send in troops, and instead of being praised they’re saying you’re trying to take over the republic. These people are sick.”

Before the election, Trump talked about “deleting” parts of the Constitution he doesn’t like. Then, he talked about becoming a dictator for one day. Now, he says some people in this country want a dictator, but to whom is he referring to that would be that dictator? I think we all know the answer. The dictator talk is so disturbing that everyone missed that part where he whines that he’s not being praised. (snip-MORE; go read it!)

Mass Mass Shooting by Clay Jones

And another school shooting Read on Substack

(The money graf: “Even the shooter offered “thoughts and prayers” to the intended victims. So, quite frankly, every single Republican’s answer to this isn’t any better than the shooter’s solution.”)

Another mass shooting and another opportunity for Republicans to give us empty thoughts and prayers instead of real solutions. You can’t find a solution when you can’t even identify the problem.

Today’s mass shooting just so happened to take place during a Mass.

An 8-year-old and a 10-year-old were killed while sitting in pews during a Mass at the Annunciation Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota. At least 17 people have been injured. The students were from the adjacent Annunciation Catholic School.

Robin Westman, a 23-year-old, has been identified as the shooter and shot through the windows from outside the church. Westman identified as a woman and had changed her name from Robert to Robin. The right-wing fucknuts are going to love this, but they’ll ignore the parts about the mental issues and racism.

The shooter left a manifesto that called for the destruction of Israel and included racist slurs. Westman flashed a white supremacy sign in a video that showed the shooter’s massive gun collection. The shooter admired those responsible for the massacres at Sandy Hook Elementary School, the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh, and the mosque shootings in Christchurch, New Zealand, among others. (snip-MORE, and it’s good info)

Assault Sandwich Ban by Clay Jones

Anything to avoid the truth. Read on Substack

There’s a saying in the legal system that a good prosecutor can get a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich. It’s a criticism of the prosecutorial system because a prosecutor has near-total control of the evidence presented to a grand jury, the defense is not present, and the jury only has to be convinced a crime was committed without a real burden of proof, and on the flimsiest charges.

On Tuesday, a grand jury in Washington, DC, refused to indict Sean Charles Dunn, who is accused of throwing a Subway sandwich at a Border Patrol agent. This is a huge loss for US Attorney Jeanine Pirro, who was hired only because Donald Trump liked the way she looked on Fox News. She’s very hateful and always outraged. This is also a failure for Attorney General Pam Bondi, who declared the sandwich attack was part of the “deep state.

I don’t think we have to worry about a “deep state” if the worst they can do is throw sandwiches at cops.

Anyone charged with a federal felony must be indicted by a grand jury. The problem for Trump’s regime is that the voters in Washington, DC, are some of the most intelligent, most educated, and most aware of the issues. These are not West Virginia voters. You would think that if you wanted to indict someone with a felony, you wouldn’t call a grand jury while the city is occupied by the military.

You would think that with the government’s reaction to the sandwich attack, the accused had used one of the weapons used to murder children at a Catholic Church in Minneapolis this week. The Trump regime and Republicans have more outrage over an assault by a sandwich than outrage over a school shooting. (snip-MORE if you can handle it)

We Deserve This-

Enjoy!

Classic Tom The Dancing Bug

https://www.gocomics.com/tomthedancingbug/2025/08/28

Next Day JoshDay

Target, Cracker Barrel, and the Race to Lose $100 Million Dollars

Fresh for the week. Enjoy!

A Reblog – By Bee

Catching Up With Clay Jones

Cracker Cancel Culture by Clay Jones

What will MAGA World be upset about next? Read on Substack

Cracker Barrel, the restaurant that does to down-home southern cooking what Olive Garden does to Italian food, has changed its logo from one boring image to a new boring image…and White people are upset. Seriously, they’re upset.

It’s like that time Sexy M&M ditched her Go-Go boots and Tucker Carlson had to find something new to envision while spending “quality time” with himself. Or, it’s like that time Aunt Jemima was removed from syrup bottles and old White conservatives had to find something else to get sticky with. That reminds me, do you put syrup in the fridge after you open it? I saw that on the TV show Mom (Alison Janney is the shit) last night, and I was like, “whaaaaaaa?” I always thought putting syrup in the fridge made it all stiffy. OK, I’ll get off this gross roll here and continue writing about these wankers. (snip-MORE and it is good)

Cheat To Win by Clay Jones

Republicans cheat Read on Substack

The New York Times reported that the Democratic Party is losing voters, and lost over 2.1 million between the 2020 and 2024 elections in the 30 states and Washington, DC that allow voters to register by party. Republicans, on the other han,d picked up over 2.4 million. There are still more Democrats registered nationwide, but the gap between the two parties is shrinking.

This is a fact. Don’t say it’s a fake poll like a MAGA would, because denying it isn’t how you fix it. And yeah, I get it. It’s as confusing as why anyone would choose Trump over Kamala Harris.

The truth is, too many people in this nation don’t care. (snip-MORE)

New Schools and Bathroom Rules by Clay Jones

Linda McMahon wants to see your bathroom Read on Substack

This cartoon was drawn for the FXBG Advance.

The Advance wrote this to go with today’s cartoon: Fredericksburg City Schools had a tough summer (well, the School Board did, anyway), but there were some good things this year, like the opening of two new schools. What could possibly go wrong? Well, when the new U.S. Education Secretary’s experience for the job is being able to distinguish a Camel Clutch from a Cobra Clutch, and her idea of a towering academic intellectual is Hulk Hogan, a lot. Yes, the Trump Administration specializes in hiring — how should I put this kindly — less-than-smart people to lead federal agencies. So rather than ‘rassling’ with serious education issues, we spend our time banning every book with a black face on it and having freak-outs about bathrooms. Yeah, that’s gonna make America great. Just ask Clay Jones.

Linda McMahon and the Education Department are going after five schools in Northern Virginia over bathrooms. (snip-MORE)

Newsom Nuisance by Clay Jones

Gavin Newsom is trolling Trump Read on Substack

California Governor Gavin Newsom has been trolling Donald Trump, or at least his press office has. It’s being done in the style of Trump. The tweets coming from Newsom’s account are mimicking Trump’s style, as in stupid, praising himself, belittling in a juvenile way, full of narcissism, and often in all caps.

Here’s one tweeted out after Trump’s press conference with Putin:

TRUMP JUST FLED THE PODIUM WITH PUTIN — NO QUESTIONS, NOTHING! TOTAL LOW ENERGY. THE MAN LOOKED LIKE HE’D JUST EATEN 3 BUCKETS OF KFC WITH VLAD. IS HE AFRAID THE PRESS WILL ASK ABOUT ME??? (AMERICA’S FAVORITE GOVERNOR) AND THE FACT I “STOLE THE CAMERAS” THIS WEEK WITH “THE MAPS”? MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING HE BEGGED PUTIN TO HOLD HIS HANDS (TINY) ON THE WAY OUT. ADMIT IT, DONNIE J… YOU’RE TERRIFIED BECAUSE THIS WAS THE WORST WEEK OF YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF ME, GAVIN C. NEWSOM. “THE MAPS” WILL END YOUR PRESIDENCY, RETAKE CONGRESS FOR THE PEOPLE, AND EXPOSE YOUR RIGGED “LITTLE GAME.”

Now that’s funny, and it’s very effective. Proof of that is Fox News host Dana Perino’s reaction, saying, “Stop it with the Twitter thing! I don’t know where his wife is. (snip-MORE)

This Is Nice!

Jessica, of Goals & Good Vibes, visits us often. She posted this yesterday. Enjoy!

Open Windows

Enjoy a couple of posts from Ann Telnaes. -A

Creating “The Wannabe Dictator” by Ann Telnaes

Drawing from the iconic Charlie Chaplin film Read on Substack

As many of you mentioned in the comments, my previous cartoon was based on the globe scene from “The Great Dictator”. Putting aside that Trump couldn’t possibly be that athletic, I chose to base my multi-panel cartoon on that scene because I was looking for a concept which illustrated Trump’s need to project that he’s the big guy, the leader of the free world who summons all the other little countries. All the theater and pageantry the White House put on the last several days had everything to do with Trump’s narcissism and desire to win the Nobel Peace Prize.

If you haven’t seen the Charlie Chaplin film and that brilliant scene, I encourage you to do so. Chaplin was prescient in his urgent warning to the world about Hitler and the Nazi ideology. I wish we could see what he would have created for our situation today.

(sketchbook- thumbnails and notes)

(roughs- figuring out the layout)

(final art)

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Happiness is a warm gun by Ann Telnaes

Judge Jeanine’s wild west Read on Substack

D.C. Attorney Jeanine Pirro’s office instructs federal prosecutors not to press felony charges against people openly carrying shotguns and rifles in the Capital.