Clay Jones

Big Beautiful Bezos by Clay Jones

What else are they cutting to give the rich tax cuts? Read on Substack

I’m bummed I didn’t get an invite to Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez’s $56 million wedding. What? You didn’t get an invite either? What we should do is form a protest. We’ll just have to get in line with all the citizens of Venice, Italy. I didn’t want to catch a bouquet anyway.

The folks in Venice (Venucians, Venetians, Venicers, Veniceeans?) aren’t too happy about this “secret” wedding taking place in their city. Apparently, it’s too much for them. There sure are a lot of celebs attending despite it being a secret. If you want something to remain low-key, you don’t invite every Kardashian to it, as well as Tom Brady, Orlando Bloom, Javanka, Usher, Jewel, Sydney Sweeney, Bill Gates, Sam Altman, Tommy Hilfiger, and Oprah Winfrey. Oh, Oprah. No.

The guest list pisses me off because I invited all these people to a crawfish/oyster party and none of them showed up, but they all found time to go to Bezos’ thing. Hmph!

Bezos, who founded Amazon, bought the once-great Washington Post, killed an endorsement for Kamala Harris, and chased away the great Ann Telnaes, proposed to Sanchez on his $500 million yacht, which is worth 10 Bezos weddings and only half the size of his nose. And then, he sent Sanchez to space with Katy Perry on one of his rockets.

And, if he and Sanchez ever decide to split, he can just send her to space again…and not bring her back. In space, no one can hear you scream about a prenup.

Bezos kept it humble. On Thursday, there was a party at the Madonna dell’Orto complex, which contains a church and a cloister, whatever the fuck a cloister is. On Friday, there was a party at San Giorgio Maggiore where famous Italian singer Matteo Bocelli, whoever the fuck that is, delivered a celebratory performance where everyone requested he sing Freebird. There was another party Saturday, and because they wanted some authentic Italian food, was held at Olive Garden (I made that up, but the Freebird requests were real).

The protests are called the “No space for Bezos” movement. Get it? “No…space?” It’s because he owns Blue Horizon, a space company. Oh, never mind. (snip-MORE)

TACO Daddy by Clay Jones

An open letter to Republicans and MAGAts Read on Substack

Dear Republicans and MAGAts,

This whole “Daddy” thing regarding Donald Trump…it’s weird. It’s not weird as in we disagree with it or because there are better nicknames for Trump, and there are, like Hair Fuhrer, Donny Dementia, Toupe’d Fucktrumpet, Mango Mussolini, Diaper Don, Trumplethinskin, Rug-Wearing Thundernugget, Tiny-Finger Vulgarian, Sweet Potato Hitler, Cheeto Benito, Dumb Donald, The Lyin’ King, Don the Con, Fuck Boi Von Clownface, Tangerine Toddler, Cheetolini, Tiny, and T.A.C.O (Trump Always Chickens Out). Feel free to use any of these at your next cross-burning.

No, it’s weird because it’s fucking weird. It’s weird, as in it’s sexually weird. It’s gross. It’s icky. It’s icky and gross like the bathrooms on Amtrak.

Remember during the presidential race, when you were labeled the weird party? You were weird all along but the “weird” label emerged when you added the couch fucker to the campaign. And then all you idiots started wearing bandages on your ears. Now, calling Trump your daddy doesn’t help diffuse the weird thing. You are all weird. It also adds to the cult thing.

I believe we should keep our politics and fetishes separate. If you wanna fuck a dolphin, that’s you, but you can’t lecture anyone about anything else ever again, especially the president of Ukraine. Just sit on the couch and keep your mouth…no! Never mind. Get off the couch. We know about you and couches.

Even though he was a shitty president, America looked up to Ronald Reagan as though he was the nation’s grandfather. It worked because he was very old, accepted that he was old, and gave the impression he was taking care of the nation, even when it was just the White people the old racist was taking care of. But, there was never anything kinky about it.

Grandpas are supposed to be kinda sweet. They might ask you to pull their fingers at times, and might have some different generational opinions about “Indians,” but he usually has a butterscotch in his pocket that you really shouldn’t put in your mouth, but still, he means no harm…mostly. Like you, he doesn’t know he’s racist.

But at least nobody has said “bow-chicka-wow-wow” to someone they call “grandfather.” You guys haven’t, have you? (snip-MORE)

I Did A Thing Again

just for fun.

Cartoon One Oh Eight Three by Josh Lieb

Lav Read on Substack

Frankenstein’s Monster sits on a toilet, reading The New Yorker. Caption: GREAT MONSTERS GOING TO THE BATHROOM. THIS WEEK: FRANKENSTEIN! FIRST IN A SERIES.

Monsters have to go to the bathroom too, right? But you never see it in the movies.

Here’s Ali Redford with a delightful quick turnaround on one oh eight two:

She went with the old school 1950’s style Golden Arches; I like it! Thanks, Ali.

Back next week you will come, as will I, I think. Read my books. Draw my comics. I’ll post them here.

Some Comics That Tickled Me This Morning

for my sense of humor is particularly quirky just now. Also: Stay Proud!

https://www.gocomics.com/scarygary/2025/06/24

https://www.gocomics.com/saturday-morning-breakfast-cereal/2025/06/23

https://www.gocomics.com/savage-chickens/2025/06/24

https://www.gocomics.com/super-fun-pak-comix/2025/06/24

https://www.gocomics.com/ufo/2025/06/24

https://www.gocomics.com/bliss/2025/06/23

Last Kiss Comics, from John Lustig

Link to Original Art
Curious to see of more of the original art? Click the link to read the entire vintage comic book for free on ComicBookPlus.com.
—John

Ann Telnaes and Clay Jones

Eat Mor Sundays by Clay Jones

And no, you can’t get your healthcare at Subway Read on Substack

This cartoon was drawn (in California) for the FXBG Advance. Is it weird to draw a cartoon on Fredericksburg while in California? Not really. I did it in Huntsville, Alabama, and Montreal. I didn’t do one while traipsing the UK, Ireland, and Iceland.

Fredericksburg has lost Moss Free Clinic, and very important, and the only source for many for healthcare.

I covered this issue back in February 2024, way before I even started my Substack.

Creative note: I was out Thursday night in downtown Carlsbad when my editor sent me a few subjects. I knew this was the most important one. I wrote it in my head while having a Modelo. I got it approved the next day (Friday) and drew it that night.

Music note: I listened to Tom Petty’s Wildflowers album. (snip)

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Trump orders strike on Iran by Ann Telnaes

Operation Midnight Shammer gets to play strongman Read on Substack

Yesterday Trump announced the bombing of three nuclear sites in Iran, claiming “the strikes were a spectacular military success. Iran’s key nuclear enrichment facilities have been completely and totally obliterated”.

Timothy Snyder, author of “On Tyranny”, posted on bluesky last night: “Many things reported with confidence in the first hours and days will turn out not to be true”.

Yes, indeedy…

(cartoon from 2003) (snip)

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Bunker-Busting Bonespurs by Clay Jones

The forecast calls for bombs and TACOs Read on Substack

The decision to go to war shouldn’t be left to a low-IQ racist, narcissistic toddler with impulse issues. I wonder if our generals feel like Hitler’s generals. In both cases, experienced and trained military professionals had to follow very stupid orders. In Hitler’s case, those orders cost Germany thousands of soldiers, either through death or capture.

Hitler was a veteran while Trump dodged the Vietnam War, citing bone spurs.

To the idiot conspiracy-theory spreading trolls at GoComics believing yesterday’s cartoon signals I’m for bombing Iran, no, morons. How could you come to that conclusion after years of reading my work?

To be clear, I do NOT support starting a war against any nation that hasn’t attacked us. This case is particularly stupid.

Donald Trump is demanding peace from Iran, which has never attacked us, after he dropped massive bombs on it. We HAD peace with Iran.

Years ago, Trump falsely predicted that President Barack Obama would start a war with Iran because he would be incapable of negotiating. Except it was President Obama who successfully negotiated for Iran to end its nuclear program, and the treaty was working. Iran was complying with all the conditions.

It was Trump who canceled the agreement and is now bombing Iran because he’s incapable of negotiating. And why would Iran want to negotiate with Donald Trump when they know they can’t trust him. How many treaties and agreements has Trump broken?

Iran doesn’t have a nuclear bomb today, or Trump and Bibi would not have bombed them. But Donald Trump just taught Iran that they need a nuclear weapon.

We may be slow learners of history, but the Iranians may not be. We forgot the history lessons of Vietnam and invaded Iraq. Iran probably remembers our demands on Iraq and Libya to lose their nuclear programs, only to see their regimes overthrown later.

Another history lesson we’re forgetting is our regime changes in Iraq and Afghanistan. How long is Trump prepared to commit US troops to this war? It’ll be a lot longer than Trump will be in office.

Last night, Trump said to the nation, “Iran’s key nuclear enrichment facilities have been completely and totally obliterated.” And then he said there are other targets. (snip)

Some Clay Jones Work

National Guarding Caitlin by Clay Jones

Shut up and dribble Read on Substack

An appeals court is allowing Donald Trump to retain control of the California National Guard.

A three-judge panel of the San Francisco-based 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said Trump “probably” acted within his authority, and added that his administration “probably” complied with the requirement to coordinate with Governor Gavin Newsom, and even if it did not, he had no authority to veto Trump’s directive.

The panel, with two Trump-appointed judges and one Biden-appointed judge, is using “probably” a lot in their ruling. That’s probably a bunch of bullshit.

The law sets out three conditions that a president can federalize state National Guard forces; an invasion (which isn’t happening here), a “rebellion or danger of a rebellion” against the government (which isn’t happening here), or a situation in which the U.S. government is unable with regular forces to execute the country’s laws (another thing not happening here).

The appeals court said the final condition had probably been met because protesters hurled items at immigration authorities’ vehicles, used trash dumpsters as battering rams, threw Molotov cocktails, and vandalized property, frustrating law enforcement. There was that probably again. What about the cops shooting reporters? Which cop agency is enforcing that?

Yet, the governor never called the president (sic) to say that Los Angeles or California couldn’t execute the nation’s laws because ICE agents were having items thrown at them. And lately, ICE and Trump have been breaking more laws than protesters. Can we deploy a state’s National Guard to enforce laws on Trump?

The courts need to factor in that Trump deployed the National Guard to fight Californians. (snip-MORE, including Caitlin Clark)

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Isn’t It Ironic? by Clay Jones

Don’t ya think? Read on Substack

I was admiring the view from my buddy’s backyard late yesterday afternoon when a hawk, or some kind of bird of prey, almost flew into my head. What?

The backyard overlooks a ravine. So the hawk was flying as usual, but his height decreased as he approached the hill, him not approaching the ground but the ground coming to him, and the next thing you know, he comes closer to objects on the ground, in this case, me. Bear with me, I’m making a point.

This did not happen on Tuesday, but it did happen yesterday, which was Wednesday (there may be some MAGAts reading, and they probably can’t figure out how a calendar works). What I’m telling you is that yesterday, there was a 100 percent increase in hawks nearly flying into my head.

Of course, I’m exaggerating. While the hawk did make me jump as it came from behind, it was probably about 15 to 20 feet away. Still, it was at my head level, though it wasn’t ever about to slam into me. I still jumped, but my point remains.

Immigration and Customs Enforcement and the Department of Homeland Security have both claimed multiple times since May that there’s been a 413 percent increase in assaults against their agents to justify their wearing of masks to conceal their identities.

OK, DHS and ICE…since when? Since Trump took over the White House? I mean, gosh and golly gee wilikens, 413 percent is a lot. That is huge, right? You would think with such a huge increase in assaults that we’d hear more about it, especially since ICE agents are such huge victimized crybabies.

What action justifies being classified as an assault? I mean, if it’s the action New York City Comptroller and mayoral candidate Brad Landers committed when ICE illegally arrested him, then it’s not really much of an assault. When I was a kid, my mother used to threaten to beat me with a wet noodle. That threat of an “assault” never really scared me, and I was afraid of everything. The three things I was afraid of the most were sharks, tornadoes (before we even had Sharknadoes), and my mother. If you beat an ICE agent with a wet noodle, Kristi Noem would probably call it an assault.

I would have to know what kind of noodle would classify as an assault, only if it’s wet, of course. Would it have to be a spaghetti noodle, a linguine noodle, or a cork screw noodle? How about one of those Asian flat noodles? Maybe that could do some damage.

In a column for The Washington Post, Phillip Bump wrote, “That ICE uses a percentage is telling. A 413 percent increase could mean that the number of assaults went from 200 in 2024 to 1,026 in 2025 — or that it went from eight to 41.” Bump points out, “But there’s a big difference between an increase of 826 assaults and an increase of 33 — especially if some of those ‘assaults’ are of the Lander variety.”

If the assaults are of the Lander variety, then DHS and ICE are lying about the assaults. Also, if the assault by Landers was so bad, then why did ICE drop the charges, including assault, against him? (snip-MORE)

Comics

The Autocrat’s Parade by Ann Telnaes

Your tax dollars at work Read on Substack

Brain Quack by Clay Jones

Never mind the new quack hole Read on Substack

On Monday, Secretary of Health (sick) Robert F. Kennedy Jr. removed all 17 members of the vaccine advisory committee for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

RFK Jr. said in a statement, “A clean sweep is necessary to reestablish public confidence in vaccine science. ACIP (Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices) new members will prioritize public health and evidence-based medicine. The Committee will no longer function as a rubber stamp for industry profit-taking agendas.”

RFK Jr. is a rubber stamp for conspiracy theories.

The American Medical Association said Kennedy’s decision undermines “trust and upends a transparent process that has saved countless lives.”

In 2019, RFK Jr. engaged in spreading conspiracy theories and misinformation that helped spread a measles outbreak in Samoa that killed at least 83 people, mostly babies, in that nation.

RFK Jr is an agent of bullshit and only an insane person would listen to him, less enough, put him in charge of the nation’s health. (snip-MORE, and it’s really good!)

Clay Jones

Handcuffing Padilla by Clay Jones

This is a bunch of bullshit Read on Substack

Right before Senator Alex Padilla of California was frog-marched out of the room and handcuffed, Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem said she was going to “liberate” Los Angeles “from the socialists and the burdensome leadership this governor and mayor have placed on this country and this city.”

What happened to the National Guard and the Marines being deployed to Los Angeles to stop non-existent riots? Now it’s “liberate” the city from socialist and “burdensome” leadership? Does that mean Noem plans to overthrow Mayor Karen Bass and Governor Gavin Newsom with the military?

On one hand, the regime is trying to portray what’s going on in LA as a rebellion or insurrection, and on the other hand, they’re talking about staging their own rebellion and insurrection.

Noem, the lying pig she is (I want to use another word that many wouldn’t like), claims Senator Padilla “lunged” toward the stage, and after hearing her plans to “liberate” Los Angeles, who could blame him? Except he didn’t “lunge” toward her.

If you’re in the right in a situation, then why are you lying? Kristi Noem is lying about what happened yesterday with Senator Alex Padilla.

Was Padilla “lunging” here? You don’t see it. You don’t see it from this angle, either. But you do hear him identify himself. So when Noem and other Republicans say he didn’t, you know they’re lying. If they’re lying to cover their actions, then you know they’re wrong. They know they’re wrong.

Noem also claims the senator “barged” into the building. That’s a lie. He was escorted into the building and into the room where Noem was having her press conference. He was escorted into the room by an FBI agent and a member of the California National Guard. It was a federal building, which means nobody is getting in there without going through security first. There’s no way she could think Padilla was an angry “illegal” there to steal her purse.

Padilla, who has a reputation in Washington of being extremely nice and kinda nerdy, was no threat to Noem in this federal building. She didn’t seem concerned at all about a guy “lunging” toward her, as she barely paused her yammering while he was being dragged away by her goons.

Noem and her security detail claim they didn’t recognize Padilla, but I call bullshit on this one. It seems before going to California, Noem would familiarize herself with some of the players, like the mayor of Los Angeles, the governor of California, House reps of the area, and the state’s two senators. I’m sure she would have recognized Adam Schiff and Gavin Newsom, so why didn’t she recognize Senior Senator Alex Padilla? Why didn’t her security? If nothing else, he was identifying himself and wearing a shirt with the Senate logo.

She’s also the director of Homeland Security, which deals with immigration. So, shouldn’t be somewhat familiar with the ranking member of the Senate Judiciary Committee’s Subcommittee on Immigration, Citizenship, and Border Safety.

The only somewhat acceptable reason that Kristi Noem didn’t recognize Senator Alex Padilla is that she’s fucking stupid. I can believe that she’s a moron, but I don’t buy that she nor her security could recognize United States Senator Alex Padilla. Plus, you can’t trust the word of anyone who would shoot a puppy.

And because Republicans are vile evil scum, Speaker Mike Johnson, even without looking this, wants to censure Padilla for his actions. What actions? Being brown? Being a child of Mexican immigrants? This is like the cop who pulls people over for being Black.

Padilla’s crime here is that he cares about the people ICE is going after, that he does his job, he’s a Democrat, and he’s non-White. I would love to see that in the empty censure Johnson is dreaming up.

Padilla’s biggest crime might be that he dared to question Kristi Noem.

The goons are using the military to shut down protests. They don’t want to be questioned. For the love of god, they literally handcuffed a United States Senator for challenging them.

Noem admitted it. The military is in Los Angeles to replace its elected leadership.

Republicans want to punish Padilla, but for what? Interrupting? After saying she was there to use the military to replace elected leadership, she should be interrupted. She needs to be questioned after proposing replacing California’s leadership with a military junta.

Every American needs to question Noem about this. Every Republican should question her. And for the love of god, every journalist needs to question, so long as the LAPD doesn’t shoot them in the process.

Alex Padilla stood up and questioned her, just like he should have. Alex Padilla didn’t just do his job, but did his duty as a patriotic American, which is more than can be said for every Republican who has folded to Donald Trump.

Every single one of us needs to be more like Alex Padilla. Today, Alex Padilla is my hero.

What would Alex Padilla do? He would do the right thing, and he did. (snip-MORE)

Some Comics That Brought Giggles On A Fine Friday 13th (… so far …) 😉

https://www.gocomics.com/comics/a-to-z

Bliss By Harry Bliss

Frazz By Jef Mallett

FurBabies By Nancy Beiman

Jerry King Comics By Jerry King

Lard’s World Peace Tips By Keith Tutt and Daniel Saunders

Wee Pals By Morrie Turner

Tom the Dancing Bug By Ruben Bolling

Scary Gary By Mark Buford

Savage Chickens By Doug Savage

Pearls Before Swine By Stephan Pastis

Open Windows, Clay Jones

Journalists In Crosshairs by Clay Jones

Read on Substack

Press freedom is an issue close to my heart.

Here in America, Journalists have never had to worry so much for their physical safety. That’s one reason why political cartoonist, Cameron Cardow, pissed me off so much when he started working as “Rivers,” an anonymous cartoonist pretending his life was in danger for supporting Donald Trump with lies and conspiracy theories while being a Canadian pretending to be an American.

If anything, Cam working anonymously, with the aid of syndicate boss Daryl Cagle, was threatening journalism by telling editors that it wouldn’t violate their ethics policies because political cartoonists are not journalists. Rivers has since quit, but Cagle is still doing his best to undermine political cartoonists as journalists.

Just in case they’re reading this, Daryl, you’re a huge disappointment who fails to exercise responsibility or even quality control when distributing misinformation powered by racism. Next time we meet, we’re gonna have a talk.
Cam, you’re just a lying piece of shit, but I’m thankful for your career change and hope you’re doing well, at least well enough not to come back to cartooning.

There are other places outside the United States where being a journalist can be very dangerous. Mexico can be a very bad place for journalists, not so much from the government but from drug cartels. Murderers of journalists in Haiti are likely to go unpunished. Pakistan is considered extremely dangerous for a reporter. The wars in Myanmar and Sudan are also killing journalists.

No deaths of journalists from White Genocide in South Africa have been reported, maybe because there’s no White Genocide in South Africa.

Since 2014, at least 17 journalists have been killed in the Russo-Ukrainian War. Since Hamas attacked Israel on October 7, 2023, at least 184 journalists and media workers have been killed in Gaza.

12 people were killed in Paris, which is not a war zone, in 2015 at the offices of satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo, by terrorists angered by cartoons of Muhammad in 2012. Five of the 12 killed were cartoonists.

Here in the United States, despite Rivers’ cowardice, a political cartoonist has never been assassinated. The biggest threat to our press freedom here comes from the owners of news outlets, as they all bow in fear before Tiny TACO. But that might be changing. (snip-MORE)

The one who should be going to prison by Ann Telnaes

Trump calls for jailing people who burn the U.S. flag Read on Substack

More proof Trump doesn’t respect the First Amendment and isn’t familiar with the Supreme Court decision protecting flag-burning.