The radical urbanist media loves to throw around baseless accusations like “rampage.” “Godzilla rampages,” “cities destroyed in rampage,” and “world in the grip of rampagism.” The word has lost all meaning by this point. And it’s not even fair because the lawful, beautiful actions that I undertook around the globe against the likes of Tokyo or New York were anything but a rampage. It was a precise enforcement of the law meant to keep everyone safe.
I have nothing against cities. There are plenty of good, honest cities out there just trying to get on with their lives. I’ve known some really great cities in my time. But when a city shows up without papers, without proper authorization, just popping up out of the blue instead of doing things legally, the right way, I have no choice but to act swiftly and decisively. These are really bad ciudades we’re dealing with here. You see an innocent skyline; I see a potential security threat. Those towers can be signaling enemy kaiju. Those electric lights may be sending signals into space meant for alien invaders. You don’t know. I’m not willing to take that risk.
Critics always focus on the wrong things and don’t give you the full story, like how I “leveled all of Sydney.” Yes, I did. What you won’t hear is how the city was defiantly inviting lethal threats like a moth the size of a jumbo jet and a giant Marxist lobster (you can tell by its red color) by just existing out there in the open. If destroying the city is what it takes to protect my domain from future attacks and the disastrous open-border policy of my weak-on-crime predecessor, then you better believe that that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
Because let’s not forget that, as King of the Monsters, all the oceans are within my jurisdiction, INCLUDING up to fifty miles inland from any shore. I have the right to stomp any downtown into dust, and it’s all legal. It’s not trespassing, it’s not chaos, and it’s definitely not a “rampage.” It’s affirming my sovereignty in the interest of national security to protect law-abiding cities. If you’re here legally, have all the proper paperwork, and have never harbored a three-headed alien dragon, your skyscrapers have nothing to worry about. (snip-a bit MORE)
When it’s seafood, it’s Shrimp Fantasia! Unlike the movie, you won’t have to wait years before it’s re-released, so to speak. It’ll probably be back tonight, around 3 AM.
Glorify. There’s that word again. As I’ve said elsewhere, it means “to improve in a magnificent and theatrical fashion, wonderfully so.” Early use of the term: Zeigfield’s Follies. Now it means the opposite, and was used sarcastically: that’s just a glorified X,” intended to deride the item for its pretensions.
Chicken Delight includes chicken that hasn’t just been cut, but washed. And dried! Sure, it sounds daunting, but you’ll get the hang of it. (Note from A-of course, don’t wash your chicken, unless you want to follow up by washing your kitchen with disinfectant from the splashing. We probably already know that, though.)
Set a pretty table, because you’ll be judged by it. People will wonder where you got this stuff – why, it’s Georg Jensen, he’s the most. No, dear, I mean who provided it? You can’t afford this on your shopgirl salary. Daddy help out?
You stare daggers at Betty and her innocent smile, as if she doesn’t know exactly what’s doing, reminding everyone her father owns the factory while your father merely manages it. If only you weren’t serving chicken, but had a dish that called for red wine. Something you could make sure ends up all over that nice white dress of hers.
Garden Salad #1
Imagine you’re hungover. Deeply hungover. Someone presents you with this – and shakes the plate so it wiggles. Frankly, it already looks like someone heaved into a mold and stuck the result in the fridge. But that’s Gel-Cookery!
Meat Thing
Bleached, washed, plucked Scalp of Klingon.
Bleached shrimp or rolls of fatty bacon? If you’re lucky, it’s both. In the middle: One of those rare recipies that include the words “Type AB Negative.”
Apologies. Really. There are many meals in the Gallery I’ve described in terms of inadvertent stomach evacuations, but this is perhaps the most vomitous dish I have ever seen. Just Rupe ‘n’ Heat!What were they thinking? Didn’t anyone remark how much this looks like a skillet full of spew? I’d suggest that this entire book was made by vegetarians, a sly piece of propaganda, but even the beans look awful.That concludes the Better Homes Guide to Meat, and I think I speak for us all: Thank God.Not to say you’re out of the woods. Let’s look at the Family Circle Guide to Meat.
By LIUDAS DAPKUS Updated 7:46 PM CDT, August 24, 2025
VILNIUS, Lithuania (AP) — Cute and adorable Welsh corgis, widely known for their association with the British royal family, are in fact a breed of passionate racers.
That’s at least according to the 120 teams from around Europe taking part in the Corgi Race Vilnius, in Lithuania’s capital, which drew an international bunch of furballs and their owners from countries including Poland, Latvia, Germany, Austria and Italy.
Thousands of Lithuanians gathered in the capital’s largest park on Saturday and Sunday to watch the events — a solo sprint, a contest for the “mightiest voice,” costume challenges, and group racing.
The event is set to culminate on Sunday with the so-called World Corgi Meetup, where dogs in Lithuania will be connected via a live broadcast with their peers in the United States, Ireland and Poland.
“This is so much fun and great emotion for the entire family, something bright that many people are craving for these days,” said retired teacher Janina Stoniene, who attended the race with her three grandchildren. The children said they admired the costume challenge as dogs were dressed in eye-catching outfits like Batman, a princess or an airplane.
A corgi named Amigo, sporting a factory-themed costume complete with two tiny chimneys and “Fur Factory” lettering, was named the proud winner of that contest.
Another called Mango, whose owners are from Lithuania, was the champion of the solo race.
“So this is a mango, like a fruit mango, and we are participating (for the) second time in Corgi Race 2025,” said Ignas Klimaika, a proud corgi lover from Vilnius. “Last year we didn’t manage to end the race perfectly. We had a really good training. We had trained every day, but this year we decided we just go without training, just to participate, just to enjoy all the lots of corgis,” he said.
A corgi dog participates in a fashion show during a international event Corgi Race Vilnius 2025 in Vilnius, Lithuania, Saturday, Aug. 23, 2025. (AP Photo/Mindaugas Kulbis)A corgi dog participates in a fashion show during a international event Corgi Race Vilnius 2025 in Vilnius, Lithuania, Saturday, Aug. 23, 2025. (AP Photo/Mindaugas Kulbis)
But this year, Mango won the racing competition, while his owners screamed and waved to try to inspire him to triumph.
“He knows what he did and he’s really proud of himself,” said Ignas, who is already planning for 2026.
Scottie's Playtime 