Published by Scotties Playtime
I am an older gay guy in a long-term wonderful relationship. My spouse and I are in our 36th year together. I love politics and news. I enjoy civil discussions and have no taboo subjects. My pronouns are he / him / his and my email is Scottiestoybox@gmail.com
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Well, some of us grown women don’t like walking into a bathroom & seeing a man in there, either. Transwomen are men. There is NO way to change your sex. None whatsoever. Take all the hormones you like, wear all the clothing of the opposite sex, wear wigs, makeup, whatever. You can’t change your DNA or your chromosomes. The term is “transwoman” or “transman” for a REASON.
The only solution for this are to have bathrooms marked W for women M for men & T for Trans.
I don’t particularly like “gender-neutral” bathrooms, either. I don’t want to see a urinal in the room when I go to use the facilities. This is now the new normal in many places. One of the reasons women insist on having the toilet seat down in their homes is because when the toilet seat is up, it’s a defacto urinal.
Women have a right to their OWN places. & we’re tired of being told that we have to be “nice” to men who “feel” like women. I have been being told that I have to be nice to people when I don’t want to & at my age, I’m done with that shit. No pun intended.
Yeah, transwomen have feelings but do REAL women. & it seems like nobody gives a flying fuck about OUR feelings. Of course, this is par for the course. Women have never mattered. BTW, real women are NOT “cis”. We are not subsets of our own sex.
It’s not a lie when THOUSANDS of women say that we don’t want transwomen ~ MEN ~ in our bathrooms & changing places, for whatever our reasons might be. WE ARE TELLING THE FUCKING TRUTH.
& another thing ~ it’s not transphobic to want to have YOUR OWN FUCKING SPACE ALL TO YOURSELF. Women had to fight for these places. Let trans-people fight for their own places & stop poaches on women’s.
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Polly, in some ways you’re correct; there is extreme language used against people who don’t understand, or won’t understand that, indeed, people aren’t always who they look like. As opposed to actually hateful people. But logic points to you picking on the wrong trans people: if you see a man in your women’s room, they’re either an actual man trying to pull something over, or they’re a trans man forced to use the restroom that aligns with his birth assignment. I wouldn’t want to see those guys in there with me, either, and I’m certain most would rather not be there. But that’s what these laws do. These laws will also force all of us trying to pee to show our genitals to pass inspection, due to haters trying to collect money by making accusations.
I know you and Scottie have gone round and round about this. For a while after Scottie added me as an author, I didn’t follow you, because of this issue and the arguments. However, I read and re-read what I saw here, and didn’t see so much vitriol as I saw ingrained ideas that I sort of might expect, because having had bad experiences in the past, I can be sexist against men with the best of us! But trans women are women. They simply are. Trans men are not women, and should be in their own bathrooms-the men’s rooms.
As to this right now, Scottie’s built a space where people can be themselves, and everyone sort of scrolls past what they don’t like, and likes what they do. While we have heated discussions, they’re never about who a writer is. I’ve brought friends-transwomen friends-here to read and participate. I don’t want to lose those friends, and I also don’t want to lose you as a blogging friend, because you seem like a person with whom I’d like to feed people (even though that situation is unlikely to arise due to the Buffalo-Kansas thing.) I want to respectfully ask you to ignore these posts that you don’t like, in the interests of making others feel as safe as you want to feel in your space. Additionally, should I see something with which I virulently disagree on your blog, I will continue the same courtesy, though I can’t recall seeing something objectionable; I keep thinking of those beautiful book excerpts you sometimes post. Anyway, can we do that, please?
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I agree with the idea of trans, it happens. But it also seems that the anatomy still belongs to the gender we were born with, no matter what the mind tells you. And I really think that gender-at-birth makes a huge difference in bathrooms.
There is another factor, here that can be disquieting: not all the men who go into a women’s public bathroom are trans. There is always that sense that maybe…just maybe…some men are just cooked enough to try it, so they can Get a Look: and I wonder how many women have tried the same stunt in a men’s bathroom…I know of women who brag about waiting until a male guest is in the bathroom, and then whipping the door open on him (yes, it’s weird, big time)
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I am a woman who have used the men’s room. When I was in college, the men’s room was nearer to my dorm room than the women’s room ~ in the middle of the night, if I had to take a pee, I just ducked into the men’s room & used that. & THE GUYS COMPLAINED & I HAD TO STOP DOING THAT. I had to go all the way to the end of the hall even if I was pissing my pajamas.
I always advocated for gender-neutral bathrooms until I realized the reality of them. It’s not like the gender-neutral bathrooms in your home. You don’t have a urinal in your house. & your house bathroom generally isn’t trashed like a public bathroom is ~ the way it is when men are using it. PISS EVERYWHERE. I don’t want to deal with that. I don’t know any woman who wants to deal with that. Not that women’s rooms are always clean & nice but they are generally cleaner & nicer than any men’s room ANYWHERE ~ especially in bars.
I’ve had enough men flashing me their penises to last me a lifetime. It started when I was a preteen & it STILL happens. Yeah ~ stay in your own fucking bathroom. I don’t care if you “feel like a woman”. Sing along with Shania Twain all you like. You’re still a MAN.
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😀 I have used men’s rooms in the past, because they get 6 urinals and 1 stall, and the women’s room gets 1 stall! I always locked the door behind me, though. 😀
I guess, though, as to a worry about who’s in the stall next to us, how’s about take the same precautions all women have to take before entering a secluded area: be aware of our surroundings, keep an eye on the floor area between stalls? Even other women can be dangerous in a restroom, though they’re not likely to be looking at someone peeing.
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Women are a danger? How many women have raped you?
Yeah, I’ve known women who have stolen from me. Stolen costumes from me, stolen my underwear when I was in drug rehab, even stolen my fucking tampons. But I was never beaten up by a woman & I was never raped by a woman.
I will repeat. Women have the right to their own bathrooms, their own changing rooms, their own EVERYTHING without ANY men, whether they think or feel or have tried to change themself into women. & that shouldn’t be up for debate.
You might be an ally to the men who call themselves women but you’re no ally to us women who have issues with these men. WHAT ABOUT US.
Oh, that’s right. We’re TERFS. We’re transphobes. We’re evil people who don’t count.
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Nope. I’ve never said that, and certainly not about you nor anyone else who has the reasons for feeling the way you do, and knowing what you know, and I will not in the future, as long as you’ve not just actively hunted masculine women to troll them or accuse them of endangering you or anyone else.
I am an ally to women who are trans, as well as the rest of women as best I can be. I wouldn’t even leave JK Rowling alone if I saw her being mugged in an alley, and I haven’t read anything from you, here, that gets close to her vitriol; she does hunt down places to put others down. But she’s still a human being, and she does count, too. Only because she’s a human, though; I don’t like counting her. Nor some of the self-described religious women who believe only they know what’s right and what’s wrong yet delight in others’s suffering. They are a danger to you, Polly. They’d have you in the closet so far back you’d be in the closet next door. Or burnt with the books they so enjoy immolating. Those women are a danger to other women.
But you and I disagree about this. I’m going to
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Well, I got a call, and got caught up in editing, and I have no idea what I was going to do. I guess say that we should agree to disagree. You can decide for yourself if you’re comfortable here, and if you’re comfortable with me visiting your blog. Others can weigh in on it so that Scottie will know how to deal with this when he gets to it. I think Ron was supposed to be home last night; maybe they’re honeymooning! More likely cleaning, though. Anyway, we’ve each said what needs to be said, and know where we stand.
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Hi Judy. A couple of thoughts. First just because some men are perverts, sexual criminals, and scoundrels is no reason to accuse all trans women of being that. It is not correct and it brands innocent people as dangerous or criminal when they are not. Also please read my reply to Ali as I really go into depth on the subject and don’t want to rewrite it. But Judy, I ask why does gender at birth matter in a bathroom with enclosed stalls and no urinals? Do women walk around nude or let it all hang out in their bathrooms? I would find that idea creepy. I know men have a strict don’t look at others in the urinal area code and in stalls it doesn’t matter as unless you have Superman’s X-ray vision you can’t see their junk nor can they see your genitals. Often women use men’s facilities at stadiums and entertainment venues that have much longer lines for women’s toilet facilities. Hugs
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I’m sorry but transwomen are not women. If they were women, the prefix “trans” would be unnecessary.
I don’t see why I should have to censor myself just to be polite to people who want to tread on my rights as a woman. This is another thing about the whole trans debate. If we don’t agree, if we have real issues of which we are genuinely concerned, we’re not allowed to say so. We have to STFU. I think that’s a bunch of BS. It’s another way of policing women.
I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, of domestic violence & of more than one rape ~ two gang rapes, in fact. I don’t STFU at all anymore.
The way I see it, trans-ideology is the patriarchy on steroids. It erases lesbians in particular. Many of us lesbians & bi-women & lots of gay men that I know are not on the trans train politically. We have nothing against trans-people personally ~ I have always known trans-people ~ I used to work in the sex industry. But it’s another thing when the rights of trans tramples on the rights of women. As a feminist, I have real issues with that & like I said, I won’t STFU about that.
You might notice that I already ignore a lot of the posts here. I’m just in a mood today. For that, I do apologize.
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Ah, we all get in moods.
Actually, the prefix trans is not necessary, though I’m aware of some women who fought hard enough to fully transition that it’s a moniker of pride for them.
I basically want people to be who they are as people, and try to get along with each other.
I have noticed you ignore quite a bit here; I myself post at least one trans-positive item a week, and never has there been a peep. I understand moods, and I get what you’ve written here. I help Scottie with this blog, because he has some health issues and wants to keep the blog rolling when he’s not able. It won’t be my decision if anything is done about this, beyond us just having a conversation about it. Conversations are good.
I do ask that if this is making anyone else here uncomfortable, please let us know? It’s good to work things out so that everyone-every one- feels safe here.
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Hi Ali. I agree with what you wrote and expressed. I feel things are not being addressed though. These bathroom bills harm cis women as well because they are based on societies / men’s incorrrect steriotypes of what femininity is, a certain look or way of moving that society has decided is normal for “the pretty girls”. Many women do not look like the fantisied versions which leads to larger women, butch lesbian women, women with short hair either by preference or illness, and older women being accosted and forced to “prove” their gender. The same thing can easily be said of men and boys that don’t fit society’s toxic masculinity he man standards. Men with long hair, thin and wispy men with fine features, and men who don’t move as the tough guy image says they should. The fact is the only way to know is a person has male sex organs or female sex organs is to pull the persons pants down to visually check their genitals. Do you want people checking your private parts every time you want to use a public bathroom? And I don’t feel it matters anyway because if a pervert is there assult someone they don’t need to claim to be trans which you said, and frankly everyone in the bathroom should be there to use the facilities and to assume otherwise seems weird to me.
The issue seems to be some people cannot move on from the idea that sex is a single point on a binary graph. Either completely female or completely male. As you can see by looking at the right side bar of the blog and by reading the published peer reviewed works of actual biologists and medical studies reports sex is a spectrum moving from female to male based on several dozen factors including genes, chromosomes, enzyms, various chemical switches to name just some. No two people who are considered the same sex fit in the same spots on the spectrum due to the chemical soup that makes us up. I have posted about the woman who had had three children and because of a need for a medical procedure, had to have a complete chemical work up. She looked like a woman and had lived all her life as a woman including birthing three children, but her genetic markers put her as slightly male. It can be challenging to understand the studies which is why you need to verify they are peer reviewed, that the write up or summary is what the author really said, and accept the findings even if you don’t fully understand them. As one meme I posted said, think of the body as a computer with sex being the hardware and gender being the software. Trans people have a different operating system from the hardware component. They are upgrading and changing the software part and some often change some or all of the hardware. Just because some traditions have lasted a long time doesn’t mean they should stay the same when new scientific understanding and social progress show the old traditions to be wrong.
Ali this is getting long and I don’t want to bore you with things you already know but for those who come in the future or are just reading along many comments on the news site I got the meme from had comments like this one. In France they have these magical things called unisex bathrooms. A common sink, stalls with doors. I often tell of living in Germany in the military where our barracks / dorms were unisex bathrooms, rows of sinks, enclosed stalls with toilets, and no urinals. Showers were all single occupancy and locked from the inside and had a small dressing area. No one walked around with their genitals uncovered and had at a minimum a towel covering them. Men and women shared the space with no issues. A man could be shaving while a woman did her hair and makeup or shaving her armpits. I admit I don’t go into female bathrooms in public spaces but I find it difficult to imagine the women in them walking around with their pants down or their shirts off. If someone is in the stall that you can’t see them and they can’t see you, how do you know what sex or gender they identify as and why should it matter to you as they can’t see you or you them? Hugs
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I covered how the bills affect all women in another comment further downward. We had quite a discussion; even with being gone all morning at the dentist, I tried to keep up with it so you and Ron could enjoy some time, and things were handled as to comments.
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Also, I don’t mind unisex bathrooms. Some places do as Polly mentioned, too; men’s, women’s, and they call them “Family” bathrooms where everyone can go in, and little boys with their moms don’t have to feel stupid waiting on their mom while she takes care of herself. I used to hate that for my son; though I’d seen it so many times, never when I had to bring him in was there another little boy waiting. He’s fine, though. I told him all the moms knew what was happening. You can’t just leave a little kid by themselves in a large public place like a rest area or whatever.
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