Perhaps a silver lining in this day of hate and corruption masquerading as patriotism is the crashing realization that one day we will leave this world. Many will stumble upon a very uncomfortable discovery that their friends and neighbors would not be so very sad to see them go.
I write this today having found out that my neighbor passed away last night. She was one of those people who very acerbically met life on her own terms: loud, bitching about seeming everything, but loving anyone in need and being one of the funniest people I’ve every met – if unintentionally. And, further, she liked my dog and my dog liked her, so –
I recently had the opportunity to watch some of the interview/debate of Neil DeGrasse Tyson on Ben Shapiro’s show. Ben was really trying to push this idea that Neil could speak on the science of transsexuals’ gender, etc. One of the greatest things I took from that was Neil asking him what he was really attempting to accomplish with his banging of the gong? ‘We supposedly live in a free country. No one is obliged to be more masculine or more feminine for you, and they have no right to ask it of you’, he said.
That one line from Neil completely changed how I heard the interview. I realized that Ben spoke with a quickness and decisiveness that projected strength to those who are desperate to hear it – but was really a desperation to control something that wasn’t his to control. I found myself asking Neil’s questions of Ben, and others who seem intent to dictate how people live, how people love. What drives this desperation to dominate others? What is in that morning mirror that scares people so that the only way they can manage is to be sure others meet their rules and expectations rather than find their own?
When I think on those people like Ben Shapiro, Donald Trump, Marjory Taylor Green, Mike Lindell, Rudy Giuliani, Jeff Sessions, their lives are often filled with beautiful arm candy, money, and a dark heart that destroys them in time. Like a poison they’ve taken in, living a life of hate and corruption seems for them like a recipe for eventual disaster. But, like moths to a flame, repeatedly do these people line up to destroy their peace, their credibility, their future until only regret and hate visit them.
As a country, we lost something special and unique when Donald Trump became more than just a spectator and buyer of the political tragedy. Somehow ignorance became a virtue, and being loud meant you were right. Intelligent conversation and caring about others became synonymous with communism, or whatever the boogieman is now. Somehow we in America are supposed to despise the poor and glorify the wealthy, told it is the height of patriotism. We lost our light, and now it seems we can only find our path by blindly swinging at those stuck with us in this morass.
-randy
Scottie's Playtime 
I wish I could say something different, in favour of my fellow Candians. Most say they are not racist sexist, or gender-biased, which is true for some. But we have a lot of hypocrites here. Mark Carney is no longer the shining star he campaigned on being. He sold his “soul” to the Queen of Alberta. That queen is anti-everything that one person who hates can be.
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Hi Rawgod. One of the comments I’ve read in the past made about the trump regime is it has demonstrated just how our people are so deeply infected. White Nationalism, Nazi-ism, this weird love affair with authoritarianist regimes and a push for “the right dictatorship” is all about wanting power only for those who have the cheap propaganda to make the unthinking accede to the indefensible. This sickness has churned under the surface, and I don’t know that there is anything that would change such a people’s minds because somehow they think it is in their best interest to be so diseased. So, operating under the premise that there is nothing we can do about the mess that is other people, I ask what can we do to be the light — not only as a country or a people, but as individuals — what can we do to demonstrate that sickness is not normal, sustainable, survivable, and is very much not what makes a person a human?
What I read in your comment is what many of us feel: the inevitability of a mess that seems insurmountable. There is a tale about starfish that go basically the same way: A man is walking the beach and and off in the distance he sees a figure running back and forth from the beach to the water. As he gets closer, he sees a young boy picking up starfish and setting it loose into the ocean. The man questions the boy and asks him why he is doing this. The boy answers that the tide is going out and the starfish will die if they don’t get back into the water. The man gestures to the beach and says ‘your efforts are useless, you can’t make a difference to the thousands of starfish trapped on the beach’. The boy picks up a starfish and rushes to the water, setting it free and smiling up at the man ‘I may not make much of a difference to those thousands, but I just made a world of difference to that one’. — Old story, heard the same for dogs when I was doing rehoming volunteer work. But, it is the question I asked: How can we be the light for others…How can we make a difference?
-Randy
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Hi Randy. If I read your reply to Rawgod correctly, you are asking how each person can within their own daily life continue to be the light that pushes back against the darkness. The idea is that even a small light pushes darkness away when it is lit if only in a smaller area.
I try to be that small light. I no longer expect to change the world or make things better on a grand scale. By “being a better Scottie today than I was yesterday” I can push a little more darkness around me back. The problem I have is I wallow in the news, I feel it is my job now. And the news is filled with the most hateful and bitter self-permotions of people feeling entitled to have others live in ways that make the bigot feel comfortable in their life.
So how do I do that. Well recently we had a man move into the park, he was here for 6 days and moved out. Why did he move out? He was 81 years old and had bad Parkinsons. His wife had just died. He had a small puppy for company and friendship. I will tell you these story in full later, I mentioned something on the phone. The puppy died. The man couldn’t stand to live in the house one more day and moved out. So how did I help drive the darkness away?
First the night it happened Ron ran over and shared his light with the man, listening to him and letting him unload on Ron all his grief. Then the next day when he came to tell us he was leaving I sucked up my pain and got a chair for us both and just let him tell his story of his life. I heard his pain and I did not try to cover it as he had a right to it and would need to grieve in his own time. I simply listened and said I cared when he would wonder if he should keep going. My time was all I could give him, and really all he wanted.
I have seen you do this as well. You will spend time with anyone in need letting your light shine out to push their darkness, bitterness, and entitlement-filled anger away. You listen without preconceptions of making the person be a mini-Randy. I remember the story of the homeless guy at work you helped. You bought him a device to make his life easier. But then you did something most people wouldn’t have done and I did not even think of. You gave him the receipt so he could return it for the money if he needed that more. So much darkness dispelled for that man that moment as he realized someone saw him and his needs, not what would make themselves feel more comfortable. You have an outsized bright light Randy and you use it well to push back against a lot of darkness around you. Hugs
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Hi Scottie. I love that you guys did that, in spite of the difficulty doing so, and I am so very sad that man lost his friend.
Similarly today I had a conversation with one of my welders. This man came into my office when I was flitting through on six errands. I asked him how he was doing. He said not good. I told him to close my door, sit down, and tell me about it. Seems his aunt had a heart attack and was on life support, prognosis not good. Somehow he was the strength for his uncle and looked lost. I told him that was a huge thing, an honorable thing to be there for his uncle, but it looked like it was difficult for him to carry. He said it was. And, we talked for about 10 minutes. I gave him some ideas on how to help his uncle, reminded him that he couldn’t fix this – could only be there as his uncle learned how to let go of things enough to begin to deal with the grief and pain, and reminded him how amazing that is that he is the person that his uncle felt was strong enough and reliable enough to be there for him in this time of horror.
He didn’t leave the office “fixed”, but he left a bit less burdened. Further, he knows my politics. He happens to be a trump fan. He didn’t go to the other magats in the shop, he came to me and this bleeding liberal was there for him.
Being the light isn’t being perfect. It isn’t charging at windmills. It is being the friend. I love what you and Ron did for that man. I hope you can give him a call and let him know that he is remembered.
Hugs!
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Go for it, Randy. It cannot be done (Undone!) by just one person anymore, it will need over half the population of the USA to succeed, but I will respect anyone who tries to do something on their own, or as part of a small group. Even being a Canadian (which I do not care to say very often) I wish I could do more. But health and age trump action. All I can do now is shout into the wind. No one listens anyway.
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Hi Rawgod. I think I’m going to use my moment of light to make a point out for you. What you do, for one, may not make a huge difference in the world but it can make a huge difference for that one. I stopped at a store a bit ago and there was someone there very much lgbt (I won’t say how as it isn’t relevant). I, and that someone, very much heard some others making fun. As I walked past this person, the hurt and anger clear on their face, I said clearly “I love that you are being you. Don’t let anyone take your joy.” I smiled and continued on my way.
See, we can’t change the jerks in this world. But, a bit of love to our fellow human can really help them. I didn’t confront the jerks. I didn’t loudly scream the unfairness of the moment. I just made a safe space for someone feeling threatened. And, you know – somehow I think you have done things similar. Be the light for what is right and people will flee the darkness – perhaps only one at a time.
-Randy
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Hi Rzndy. I am so glad you wrote this post and that I saved it for first thing this morning. As I explained last night after cooking the supper meal I just ran out of steam and went to bed. I cued this up for Ron to read also on his computer. Sadly I don’t know how to log him on as an author like you and Ali do, so sometime today I needed you to tell me how you do it. Not on here of course.
It is amazing how great a writer you are. You can express a lot of emotion and detail in a few sentences like a surgeon with a scaple where I use words like a club to bash the idea out to people. I am going to have to find the full interview with Tyson and Ben Shapiro as I have only seen a few clips and the ones I saw were of Neil DeGrasse Tyson saying to Ben Shapiro “Why do you care so much about something that has nothing to do with you or your life”?
‘We supposedly live in a free country. No one is obliged to be more masculine or more feminine for you, and they have no right to ask it of you’. This line is so wonderful. I have often said that the hate and bigotry pushed on the US now is from three main sources. One is grievance-driven tRump who is the only Alpha tough guy constant victim in the world who constantly claims no one is as mistreated and badly used as he is… always followed with its OK or I don’t care. Well clearly he does.
The other two groups trying to speerate and control us are the Christian nationlists who sadly most are in it for the money. More asses in the pews means more money in the collection plates. They found that out during COVID. They need / are driven by a need to please the sky daddy they have created in their own immage. Not smart enough to figure out what the words really meant to the people of the time reading them they use the meanings of the words we have now which are incorrect for that time.
The last group trying to control the population for their own reward are the wealthy. Controlling the lower incomes allows them to push the burdens of running a country down on those least able to afford doing so, so they can have more privileges for themselves. Sorry this is getting so long—longer than your original thought provoking post.
So what do these groups have in common with maga and the darkness mentioned in your post for me? It is all about making others change so they can benefit and be more comfortable. At the expense of the group these people want to make conform. It is all you have to change to make me more comfortable and happy rather than me doing the work to change myself to be accepting and kind to you / others. You do the work so I don’t have to and can benefit from your pain and effort. I just can’t wait until these are the last two groups of bigots standing and they have to battle it out with each other instead of the most vulnerable that they attack now. Hugs
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Hi Scottie. I think I’m going to put this response into separate lines:
The more time goes, the more I see these magats, christian nationalists, etc. as scared dogs, barking at everything and hoping their noise covers their insecurities.
It takes a great deal of bravery to face what doesn’t fit for a person, whatever that may be. There is safety in anonymity, being just one of the crowd. There is a whole lot to admire of a person who is willing to scrape off the camouflage. They may be vulnerable because the wounds haven’t healed yet, but damn are they strong.
hugs.
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