As Gwen Stefani said, “This shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Read on Substack
If you’re the president of the United States and you want to do a lot of corrupt bullshit, the first thing you do is hire corrupt people who will support your corrupt bullshit.
A sure way to tell someone is corrupt is by offering them a bribe. If they accept the bribe, then they’re good to go because they’re up to no good. Years later, when you need a corrupt Attorney General to vouch that accepting a $400 million plane from Qatar isn’t corrupt, Pam Bondi will tell the public it’s not corrupt, even though it is.
And then, when you need your spokesgoon to say something super ridiculous to defend you over selling access to the Oval Office, you hire Karoline Leavitt. Leavitt said it was OK for Trump to be at his golf club, hosting the top buyers of his crypto because he was off the clock, attending in his “personal time,” as though he’s just a guess. Get the fuck out of here.
The White House claims that Trump’s assets are in a “blind trust” managed by his two idiot kids, Sniffy Jr. and Eric. (snip-MORE, and it’s good!)
Republican bill cuts food aid for elderly, low-income, & disabled Americans by Ann Telnaes
and increased funding for their own version of Supplemental Nutrition and Assistance Program Read on Substack
The so-called “Big Beautiful Bill,” as Harry from Resident Alien would say, is some bullshit. And this is some bullshit.
First, it’s projected to add nearly $4 trillion to our debt, but that is a very conservative estimate. Even some Republicans believe it’ll add more than $10 trillion. I have a question that’s harder than defining Habeas Corpus. How do you reduce the deficit by adding $4 trillion to it? And don’t give me that DOGE bullshit as it’s not even going to cut $1 trillion from our debt, which is currently around $36 trillion, partly thanks to Trump’s 2017 tax cuts, which just got extended as part of this huge bill.
Yeah, that’s right. Trump’s 2017 tax cuts added trillions to our debt, which they extended last night shortly after Trump pronounced himself a “deficit hawk.” He’s more of a hawker of cheap goods made in China, like his shitty shoes, shitty caps, shitty guitars, etc, etc.
Trump is demanding that Apple make all its iPhones in America, or Tim Cook (who Trump used to think was Tim Apple) is going to have to pay a 25 percent tariff on them. This means that Trump finally realizes that China does not pay the tariffs, and Trump rules don’t apply to Trump. He’s NOT demanding that his shitty shit be made in America.
There’s a bunch of stuff in this so-called “Big Beautiful Bill.” Every newborn will get $1,000 invested into what Congress has named a “Trump account.” Yeah, they named it after Trump. It’s complicated. The newborn gets $1,000, which he can’t withdraw from the account until he’s an adult, which can only be spent on buying a home, tuition, or other stuff like that. Anyone else can invest in the newborn’s Trump account, but only up to $5,000 a year, and the accounts don’t gain interest like a typical savings account. The money isn’t taxed until it’s withdrawn. But if this is such a great idea, why is it only for the next four years?
That’s like getting rid of taxes on tips. It’s only for the next four years, which means it’s not supposed to help people in the service industry. It’s only supposed to help Trump, because he’s supposed to leave office in four years. Right? Right? And why isn’t every getting a tax-free income up to $20,000?
Personally, I think America’s political cartoonists should have their first $20,000 tax-free, for the ones who make over $20,000. Seriously.
And then there are the cuts to Medicaid and stricter requirements. There are work requirements, so tell Grandma to scour the help wanteds. Medicaid recipients also have to reapply every six months, which is how often Trump has to reapply the orange glaze on his face. Harry would say, “This is some bullshit.”
There’s too much bullshit in this bill for me to go through it all (like sneaking in a law that courts can’t hold members of the Trump regime in contempt), but it’s typical that Republicans are more interested in helping rich people than helping poor people. And they still haven’t learned that trickle-down economics doesn’t work.
It’s not like Republicans have to remember as far back as the 1980s when Ronald Reagan proved they don’t work, or back to the 2000s when W. proved they don’t work. They only have to remember back to the first Trump term (sic) when he proved they don’t work. Republicans don’t use the term “trickle-down” as often these days for two reasons. They know it doesn’t work, and the term may make people think of Trump and those Moscow prostitutes.
No matter what they call this scam, it’s the same thing. It’s trickle-down economics, and it doesn’t work. At least you can shower it off after the Russian hookers but in this situation, we’re going to get pissed on indefinitely. (snip-MORE)
Of course, Donald Trump doesn’t take weather forecasting seriously. He thinks you can move a hurricane with a Sharpie. Or, he thinks only he can move a hurricane with a Sharpie, because everyone’s supposed to listen to the Almighty Trump, even hurricanes.
Naturally, the National Weather Service isn’t going to be spared from DOGE cuts. Who cares if we’re only about two weeks from hurricane season? Last season, there were 18 named storms, 11 hurricanes, and five major hurricanes. It was the first since 2019 to feature multiple Category 5 storms. Hurricane season 2024 also closed the most Waffle Houses (I made that up, but it’s a thing).
And it’s tornado season, bringing 42 deaths to Missouri, Kentucky, and Virginia over the weekend. Would there have been as many deaths if there hadn’t been cuts to our weather systems? The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) and the National Weather Service (NWS) are crucial for the nation’s emergency-response system. Hurricanes are easier to track, but tornadoes don’t give much time at all to prepare. And now, the offices that track them are understaffed because of Trump and Elon (an unelected billionaire bureaucrat).
Five former NWS directors from both Democratic and Republican administrations wrote an open letter on May 2, stating, “Our worst nightmare is that weather forecast offices will be so understaffed that there will be needless loss of life.”
Climate scientist Daniel Swain said, “The net result is going to be massive economic harm. As we break these things, eventually it will become painfully and unignorably obvious what we’ve broken and how important it was. And it’s going to be unbelievably expensive in the scramble to try and get it back—and we might not be able to get it back.”
After the NWS’s first wave of firings and early retirements under the Trump regime, staffing at the service’s 122 field offices across the country has dropped to a 19 percent vacancy rate. Fifty-two offices are now considered “critically understaffed,” meaning a shortage of more than 20 percent. Some branches are down by more than 40 percent. The good news is that the budget for White House Sharpies has gone up.
There has also been huge reductions and cancellations of weather balloon launches, which are supposed to happen twice a day at every forecast office across the country. According to reports, they’re being saved for Trump’s birthday parade on June 14, which also explains the nation’s shortage of cakes and hot dogs (joke, but the parade is real). (snip-MORE, along these lines that should be read.)
Donald Trump set another trap for a foreign leader in the Oval Office. This time, it didn’t go like the trap set for President Volodymyr Zelensky (where Trump and JD harangued him for not surrendering to Putin), but more like the trap he set for a reporter, claiming a doctored pic of Abrigo Garcia with MS-13 labeled on his fingers was real.
This time, Donald Trump was trying to lecture South African President Cyril Ramaphosa about White genocide in his nation. This would be like me going to New York City and lecturing the locals that C.H.U.D.s are real.
I could tell them that I saw a documentary hosted by John Goodman on HBO back in the 80s proving that Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers are living in their sewers, leaping out at the right opportunities to grab old ladies while they’re walking their dogs for a late-night snack. The reason you’re not hearing about the C.H.U.D.s is that the liberal media and the Deep State are working together to hide it until you and your Schnauzer or C.H.U.D. meat. Why should they think they know NYC better than I do, because they actually live there? Hmph!
Did you know that last April, C.H.U.D.s ate 27,687 human beings, three Schnauzers, two poodles, and one of those skinny hairless cats that nobody is sure is an actual cat? I haven’t actually researched or verified these numbers, but someone on the internet said it’s true (that was me). And, most of those eaten were White people, because White people are the most persecuted segment of civilization in world history.
That has to be true because people like Donald Trump, Elon Musk, Stephen Miller, Tucker Carlson, and crazy old White guys wearing MAGA caps on the city bus keep warning us about the Great Replacement theory, where White people are being replaced by Mexicans and other people with suspicious skin tones. It has to be true because I saw another documentary, this one hosted by Mel Brooks, showing a Black man screaming, “Where all the White women at?”
I’m telling ya, White people can’t catch a break anymore, especially the White billionaire president (sic). Just this week, he was forced to listen to a Black man in the Oval Office refuse to be browbeaten to agree with his conspiracy theory. What next? Is someone going to park a Venezuelan food truck in front of the White House on what was White Lives Matter Plaza (there’s one near L’enfant station and it’s amazeballs)?
Ramaphosa was sitting next to Trump, engaging in fake pleasantries, talking about golf and other assorted bullshit, knowing he was sitting in a trap. Fortunately for the South African prez, the trap springer is a moron (person, woman, man, camera, TV). Ramaphosa said “listening to the stories” of South Africans would help Trump better understand the bullshit he was talking about, except Trump doesn’t listen. But then, Trump had the lights dimmed (It’s a trap!), as a MAGAt aide turned on the TV and played a video of South African opposition politicians singing apartheid-era songs about shooting Boers, a term that refers to farmers or Afrikaners (the term for White South Africans). The video was several years old.
Drone footage showed supposed Afrikaner graves marked by white crosses. Then Trump whipped out newspaper clippings (probably all from Breitbart) about recent killings in South Africa, muttering, “Death, death, death, horrible death.” My gosh. It sounds like there might be an agenda here.
It must have been tough for Ramaphosa to sit still when Trump said White genocide is “sort of the opposite of apartheid.” Read the room, Grandpa.
Trump got distracted when he called NBC reporter Peter Alexander a “jerk” for asking why he accepted a $400 million plane from Qatar.
Trump said rhetorically, “Why did a country give an airplane to the United States Air Force? So they could help us out, because we need an Air Force One. That’s what that idiot talks about, after viewing a thing where thousands of people are dead,” that Trump had made up. He’s so touchy when called out for taking a bribe.
Seizing the moment and embarrassing Trump, Ramaphosa said, “I’m sorry I don’t have a plane to give you.” Not realizing that Ramaphosa basically said, “I’m sorry, I don’t have a bribe for you,” Trump said, “I wish you did. I would take it. If your country offered the United States Air Force a plane, I would take it.”
Trump is an idiot.
There is no White genocide. It’s a lie that racist Elon Musk (who was in the room with Trump and Ramaphosa) has been pushing for years. (snip-again, MORE along the same lines; it ought to be read.)
1. Terrifying news for transgender people across the United States. In a late night development, the House Spending Bill was amended to ban transgender coverage for transgender ADULTS on medicaid!A manager's amendment removed the words "for minors."Subscribe to support my journalism.
I am certain that we will not hear about deficits and debt ever again from Republicans who are about to vote for a bill that adds more debt to a country’s balance sheet than any piece of legislation in the history of the human race.
There should be a test before seeking public office. I understand there’s on-the-job training, but this isn’t Taco Bell.
Even before Kristi Noem was the Director of Homeland Security, she was a governor. No governor in this nation should be as ignorant of the Constitution as Noem displayed yesterday. Don’t we already have too many Jeff Sessions in government? Even college football coaches should know what the three branches are.
Even at Taco Bell, I’m sure you’d eventually get shit-canned if you couldn’t keep track of the difference between a Chalupa and a Gordita. Fuck. Now I want some Taco Bell. Anywhos…
Democratic New Hampshire Senator Maggie Hassan is considered one of the mildest members of the U.S. Senate. I bet at least a quarter of my blog followers couldn’t name what state she represented until they read the previous sentence. Honestly, I might have fumbled it. Despite being one of the nicest in the Senate, Hassan still scorched Kristi Noem during a hearing yesterday. And Hassan wasn’t even trying. It’s Noem’s fault for not knowing her shit.
Hassan asked Noem a question a simple question. It wasn’t like she asked something difficult, like how many women have accused Donald Trump of rape and sexual assault. You don’t have to be a genius to know the answer either. Hassan didn’t hit her with a Navier-Stokes equation.
The question was: What is habeas corpus? Her answer was more embarrassing than that time Katie Porter asked Ben Carson about REO rates, and he thought she was talking about Oreo cookies. Dammit. Now I want some Oreos.
Noem’s reply was, “Habeas corpus is a constitutional right that the president has to be able to remove people from this country.”
Wrong. Not even close. It’s not even a nice try. If you asked this question as a part of a bar bet, you’d probably get a better answer and still win a beer. Hassan should have made this a bar bet, because at least she would have won a beer. My go-to question in a bar bet is: Name the only American president who was never elected.
Noem got her bachelor’s degree by taking online courses and earning college intern credits from her position as a member of Congress. That’s still better than Sarah Palin.
They say there are no stupid questions, but there are some real dumbass answers. Kristi Noem is a fucking moron.
Habeas corpus is a bedrock constitutional legal principle that safeguards individuals from unlawful imprisonment by enabling them to petition the court to review the legality of their detention. Or the short version, it’s the right to due process. That’s an acceptable answer. It’s an easer answer, and it’s definitely isn’t that Donald Trump doesn’t get to do whatever the fuck he wants.
Noem thought the answer was specific about deportations. It’s not.
After explaining habeas corpus to Noem, Hassan asked her if she supported it. Noem answered wrong again.
Noem said, “Yes, I support habeas corpus,” but she couldn’t stop there. She went on to say, “I also recognize that the President of the United States has the authority under the Constitution to decide if it should be suspended or not.”
Wrong again, Dumbo. That doesn’t even make sense if she believed in her first answer. She thought habeas corpus was the right of the president to deport people, and the Constitution gave him the right to suspend that right. What? It’s not surprising she’s dumb enough to carry $3,000 in her purse, and then to have it stolen right from under her in a cheeseburger restaurant. Shit. Now I want a cheeseburger. Anyways.
Article I, Section 9of the U.S. Constitution prohibits the suspension of habeas corpus “unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it.” That’s not happening. And, the president needs the approval of Congress to suspend habeas corpus.
Trump is violating due process, he’s ignoring court orders, there was another ruling today that he’s violating court orders, he has placed a giant image of his face in the capital which surprises me that there hasn’t been a sudden rash of car crashes in the city, he’s taking bribes, and Kristi Noem is a puppy killer.
I believe that if you gave a citizenship test to assholes like Trump, JD Vance, Stephen Miller, Marco Rubio, Kristi Noem, or any of the other idiots in this regime, they would all flunk.
If you have to take a test to be a citizen of this nation, then there should be a test for people who want to represent the citizens of this nation.
These tests are not difficult unless you’re a MAGAt dumbass.
Creative note: I’m kinda going through a fit this week with ideas. No, it’s not writer’s block, but too many subjects. I have several subjects I believe are nearly equal in importance, but I don’t have enough days. And no, I don’t want to draw several cartoons a day. When you draw too many cartoons a day, they will start to look like you drew too many. I can burn out.
I went with this one today because it’s timely, funny, I really liked it, and I’ll take almost any opportunity not to draw Trump.
I used five layers in Procreate to draw this cartoon. I hate using lots of layers while other cartoonists love them.
A recent book release claims a cover-up of President Biden’s cognitive decline Read on Substack
I’d like to see someone write a book about how two capable, intelligent women (one a former vice president) running for president are defeated by an aging, narcissistic, wannabe autocrat with clear signs of dementia. That’s what I’d like to read.
The Trump Cancer isn’t new. We got an early prognosis before he even ran in the 2016 presidential election, back when he began his birtherism campaign. He was a cancer before he went into the White House with Putin’s assistance in 2016, he was a cancer during the Biden administration, and he’s a cancer now.
Instead of 86ing this cancer (see what I did there?), nearly half of this nation let it rot and fester. This cancer will do what cancer does if not combated. It will destroy us.
Creative note: I got this idea while drawing my weather cartoon this morning. After yesterday’s Biden/Democrat cartoon, I felt good about it. I even nearly stopped the weather cartoon to do this instead (but I really loved “Old Man Yells at Cloud).
I was finally able to get to the post office today (your print is finally on the way, Greg, and Kathy…I got your check. Thank you), and started drawing this at a coffee shop downtown on Caroline. It didn’t take long to draw, and I colored it at home after taking the Fred Bus.
I didn’t know if this would work when I first thought of it. I didn’t know if the image would be clear. I didn’t know if a tiny Trump in the rump would be clear. But now, I do think it works.
Music note: I listened to Counting Crows, which isn’t a band I’m super crazy about, but Anna Begins reminds me of a past relationship. She talked in her sleep, she changed her mind, she changed my mind, and then she faded away.
Scottie's Playtime 