Most deserving by Ann Telnaes

Trump thinks he should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize Read on Substack

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Two Weeks Notice by Clay Jones

Two weeks = never Read on Substack

This could all be moot if Trump starts bombing Iran before the weekend or even the day is over. Today, several B-2 stealth bombers, the only kind of jet that can carry the 30,000-pound bunker-busting bombs thought capable of penetrating Iran’s underground Fordow nuclear facility, flew west to Guam. Most likely, Trump is trying to show off like he has a big penis.

When asked a few days ago about joining the fight Israel started with Iran, Trump said he’ll have the answer in two weeks. The right answer would have been no.

Part of the message of Trump’s 2024 presidential campaign was no more “forever wars.” Unless he thinks a war with Iran will be short and sweet, he would break that promise if he drags us into Israel’s fight. The war in Iraq would be a MAGA-Lardo Trump golf tournament for Donald compared to a war inside Iran.

If the rule is, “no land wars in Asia,” then someone get Trump a map and show him what continent Iran is in.

When you criticize Israel for starting this war, or voice any opposition to it, then MAGAts start screaming that you love Iran and you want them to have nuclear weapons. That’s the talk of a simpleton. Remember in 2003 when you opposed invading Iraq, and W. Bush’s followers would howl, “You’re either with us or against!” That was simple thinking, too (where are all those people now?). But Republicans have never added a lot of depth to their thought process. Unfortunately, it works. More Americans respond to it. MAGAts prefer to communicate in three syllables, like “No more wars” and “Bomb Iran.” Now, explain what a syllable is to a MAGAt.

I don’t want Iran to have nuclear weapons, which is why I supported the nuclear treaty we had with Iran under President Barack Obama. The same one Donald Trump later destroyed and is asking for now. If Donald Trump could get the exact same deal with Iran that he destroyed while lying that it wasn’t working, he’d call himself a genius for it. I expect him to get something much less and heap hero worship on himself. He’s already talking about how he deserves a Nobel Prize, which Obama has.

Iran might actually be in a better position with Trump in office because Donald Trump is the world’s worst negotiator. If you just make him feel like he won, you can get everything you want. Not only could they have their bomb, but also get club memberships at MAGA-Lardo.

Who remembers what’s in the treaty Trump negotiated with North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un?

And we should negotiate with Iran to stop its nuclear program, because the one Obama got them to sign was working. Why did Donald Trump cancel an agreement to end Iran’s nuclear program that was working? Probably because Obama’s name was on it. When Trump canceled the agreement, he made the world more dangerous. He gave Iran the green light to reignite its nuclear program.

Despite Trump’s treaty with North Korea, they’re closer today to being able to deliver a nuclear weapon to the continental United States.

But why should we join Israel’s war? They started it. Sure, Iran has been funding terrorist attacks against Israel for years, and we’ve funded Israel’s defense against that. But this is a war. Why should we join a fight we didn’t start? This isn’t our fight, especially when Israel is starting it just for us to finish.

When I was a stupid kid back in the 1980s, I was out with my buddy Ronny and Mark. Mark started a fight with another kid who also had his buddies with him. None of us joined in, and we all watched Mark and the other guy roll around, punching each other. Mark lost. Later, our other friends were angry at Ronny and me for not jumping into the fight. But it wasn’t our fight. If those other kids had jumped in, then yeah…we would have, too. But they knew it wasn’t their fight either. For what it’s worth, I did pull the guy off Mark when it was clear the fight was over and won. After the fight was over, we all stood around for 20 minutes talking about the fight. The moral is, don’t start a fight you can’t win, and don’t join a fight that’s not yours. We were sorry that Mark got his ass handed to him, but he shouldn’t have started the fight.

Trump’s decision to take two weeks to make a decision means it’s not important to him. This has to frustrate Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu because he knows when Trump says two weeks, it’s never delivered in two weeks…if ever.

Trump should have run on the message, “I’ll take two weeks to make decisions.” Ronald Reagan didn’t tell Gorbachev, “Tear down this wall…in two weeks.”

When Trump promised a new tax plan in 2017 of tax cuts for billionaire assholes, he promised he’d deliver it in two weeks. They delivered it two months later, and it was his only legislative accomplishment from his first term.

We’re still waiting to see Trump’s healthcare plan he promised years ago to deliver in two weeks.

Trump promised an infrastructure bill in two weeks during his first term. What happened? President Joe Biden signed an infrastructure bill.

In 2017, Trump said he would prove that Obama wiretapped Trump Tower in two weeks. We’re still waiting, much like the wait for Trump to prove that Obama was born in Kenya.

One Israeli official said that Trump “wouldn’t give himself a deadline that he would have to keep to if he hadn’t already made the decision.” Yeah, that guy hasn’t been paying attention for the past decade, because Trump doesn’t keep promises. What Donald Trump does is talk out of his ass.

Trump uses the two-week thing in hopes that people will forget. Maybe other shit will happen during those two weeks and people don’t remember the two-week promise. Or, Trump can create a new crisis, like when he said he’ll decide what to do about the Russian/Ukraine war in two weeks, which was months ago.

Or, Trump can be hoping the problem resolves itself within two weeks. Most likely, Israel will stop bombing Iran, and everyone will stop paying attention. Netanyahu overplayed his hand, starting a war and expecting Trump to save his ass. Isn’t Israel already in two other conflicts, one with Hamas and the other with Hezbollah?

Bibi needs to learn that Trump Always Chickens Out.

Creative note: I shouldn’t have had to spend three hours banging my head against a wall before this idea came to me because I watched half of Don’t Look Up last night.

Music note: I listened to more Tom Petty while drawing because I hadn’t finished listening to all of it during the last cartoon.

Drawn in 30 seconds: (snip-Go See!)