(Not mine; Clay Jones’s.)

April Fools 2025 by Clay Jones

Bazinga! Read on Substack

I didn’t intend for this to be a deep, thought-provoking cartoon when I started it, with the intention of it being drawn just for kicks and to take advantage of the fake holiday. I rarely ever do April Fools cartoons, and I’m sure this theme has been done in the past by other cartoonists.

But when I think about it, there is some depth to this cartoon as it highlights some of the many horrifying absurdities of Donald Trump. Every time I do cartoons like this, a reader will always tell me I forgot something. Well, duh. There’s only so much space in a cartoon. But let’s cover the issues in the cartoon.

Democracy over fascism: Trump’s talking about a third term. Nuff said?

Hiring weirdos: Pete Hegseth, Marco Rubio, Pam Bondi, Kash Patel, RFK Jr, Linda McMahon, Kristi Noem, JD Vance, Tulsi Gabbard, Stephen Baby Goebbels Miller, etc, etc. These are all goons and lunatics, most of whom are not qualified for their positions. Case in point, the Signal group chat controversy where nobody has been fired yet. Trump’s asking around if he should fire Mike Waltz, his National Security Advisor, who added the journalist, Jeffrey Goldberg, to the chat. But I think too much time has passed for that. Trump could have come off as a tough guy who takes national security seriously if he had fired Waltz last Wednesday, not a week later, after asking for everyone’s opinion, from Sean Hannity to the janitor who empties his waste basket.

Who is Trump asking whether he should fire Walzt or not? Everyone in his vicinity was on the chat.

Obeying court orders: So far, at least two court orders have been violated by the Trump administration (sic). They won’t be the last.

Eat a salad: This is one where I encourage him to continue to eat hamberders and KFC. Trump is 78, and a single Trump meal from McDonald’s is around 2,000 calories. I’m not the healthiest eater in the world, but after a few days of meat, I need a salad…and I kinda hate salads. Boring. I look forward to my meals when traveling, but I know I’ll have to squeeze a salad or two in during a trip, especially in Chicago. And it doesn’t matter what I eat at McDonald’s (which can be a treat when in the right mood), I feel horrible after.

RFK Jr described Trump’s diet as “poison” and said the only options on the campaign plane were KFC and Big Macs. Corey Lewandowsky said his typical McDonald’s order was two Big Macs, two Filet O Fishes, and a large chocolate shake, but we’ve seen several photos with fries included.

His former chef said Trump would always say, “No garbage with it” when ordering a burned steak with ketchup. The “garbage” was garnish and vegetables. Ironically, it’s the chef who has passed away.

People are not all made the same. How people like Keith Richards and Ozzy Osbourne are still alive is a mystery of science. Maybe Trump is made like one of those people where he can live longer than Betty White on a diet of Adderal and hot dogs. I don’t wish death or any physical harm on anyone, not even Trump, but I won’t mind if he skips the salads.

My question here is, did he eat that entire bucket by himself? My hands are greasy just looking at the photo.

Nazis: Trump supports Nazis. He deports Muslims while pardoning Nazis. He claims good people march with Nazis who “Jews will not replace us” and “blood and soil.” Nazis vote for Trump. Trump hired a Nazi, who gave Sieg Heils at one of his inauguration events, to find “waste” and “fraud” in the government.

I’m almost guaranteed to be yelled at by a MAGAt each time I mention Nazis in Trump and Elon cartoons. A lot of the people screaming at me are repeat screamers. They’ll say, “Nazis were socialists because that word’s in the name.” And yes, Elon did give TWO Nazi salutes. Sorry, MAGAts.

Golf: Not only won’t he stop cheating at golf, but he won’t stop bilking us for his golf trips. His golf outings aren’t just expensive for taxpayers, but a lot of that money, over $26 million so far in Trump 2.0, goes to Trump’s resorts.

Threatening allies: He insults Canada’s sovereignty when he threatens to make our northern neighbors a third state. He talks out of ignorance when he threatens to take the Panama Canal. Now, he and his goons are talking about taking Greenland by force, as if it was taken from us. Trump talks about Greenland the way Hitler talked about Czechoslovakia.

Ogling Cats: Who wants to hear Grandpa talk sexually about women dressed as cats? That’ll make you leave the room. Trump described the time he saw the play, saying, “I walked in, I saw all these bodies, and then I noticed those bodies were gorgeous. They had silk tights on, and they were all ballerinas and women from Broadway.” Did he also notice they were made up as cats? Does this make Trump a furry? I didn’t think Trump could get creepier. He literally wants to grab them by the pussy.

Grifting: Every president absolves himself of his businesses, except Trump. Jimmy Carter sold his peanut farm, but Trump keeps grifting. He’s still selling merchandise and can even be bribed through his cryptocurrency. Also, re-read the paragraph on his golf grift.

Oligarchs: Elon, Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg, and many others are oligarchs. This is not a good thing for a democracy.

DOGE being transparent: Despite the claims, DOGE is NOT transparent, which should concern us all.

Lies: Trump told over 35,000 lies during his first term (sic). Can he top that in his second? Don’t underestimate him.

Groping: If Trump isn’t groping now, it’s only because he’s in the limelight. At least 26 women have accused Trump of rape, kissing, groping, walking into teenage dressing rooms, and even looking under skirts. He’s a real-life Quagmire. Giggity. He has cheated on all three of his wives. He often compliments a woman’s looks when he speaks of them, as thought that’s all they’re worth. And we just learned you can’t leave him alone with your cat.

Tariffs: More tariffs are planned for all of our trading partners, starting tomorrow, which Trump is calling “Liberation Day.” Let’s hope that’s an April Fools joke because tariffs are dumb.

Now, I’ve created a challenge for myself, which is to re-do this cartoon for April Fools 2026 but with new issues.

Readers, tell me what I missed.

Creative notes: I started this cartoon yesterday, Sunday. I always want to deliver a holiday cartoon at least two days before a holiday, but since most editors weren’t in the office yesterday, they wouldn’t have received this until today, the day before the holiday. So I went ahead and did my deportation cartoon yesterday (and finished it very late in the day), then finished up this cartoon late last night. I spent my entire Sunday working except during dinner when I watched a couple of episodes of 30 Rock, which I’ve been trying to finish for a few years.

Drawn in 30 Seconds: (snip-go see)