https://www.gocomics.com/lastkiss/2025/05/14
Category: Funny / Fun / Parody
Some Memes Special to Me.
Hope you enjoy these for your own reasons. Hugs. Randy
Clay Jones, & Open Windows
A funny thing happened on the way to the airport… by Ann Telnaes
Wow. I won the 2025 Pulitzer Prize for Illustrative Reporting and Commentating. Read on Substack
Thank you so much for all your comments and notes of congratulations!
I feel like I am late to my own party but I’m traveling overseas to to do presentations about Press Freedom and the time zones are really messing with me. Once I head again to the airport for the next leg of my trip, I’ll post some thoughts and photos for paid subscribers. And yes, I was in my lyft heading to the airport when I got the Pulitzer news.
Meanwhile, here’s what my lovely Norwegian hosts had waiting when I checked into my room.
*** and some more great news! Due to you all, my Substack Open Windows has reached 100,000 subscribers!!
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New Pope by Clay Jones
America needs a president, not a troll Read on Substack
The news that we had a new Pope hit just as I was wrapping up this cartoon, so I quickly finished and posted it on social media before the name was announced, even before I sent it to my clients. I don’t know what I was thinking, that the cartoon would have an extra ten minutes of shelf life? As Trump said about the Constitution, I don’t know. Is this cartoon still relevant?
Trump posted an AI-created image of him as Pope. He’s really big about fake photos right now. I think Trump was trying to troll Democrats, but what he ended up doing was insulting Catholics. Catholics can take a joke, but they also know an insult when they see one.
Instead of doing presidential things like lowering egg prices, ending either of the two wars he promised would be over by now, or negotiating tariffs and legislation, Trump was trolling. Later, he denied it.
He said he didn’t know how the AI image ended up being tweeted from his or the White House’s official Twitter accounts. What happened? Did he lose control of his presidency (sic), Twitter account, and bladder all on the same day? Of course not. He lost control of his bladder years ago.
Trump also claimed that the AI image didn’t upset Catholics, but it did, with one priest calling him a “clown.” (snip-MORE)
2 From Clay Jones
Bert and Ernie and Bill by Clay Jones
Run, Rubber Ducky, Run! Read on Substack
There’s been a lot of talk, and jokes, about six-time Super Bowl-winning coach Bill Belichick and his super young girlfriend, Jordon Hudson. Even SNL made a crack about it in its cold open.
In the skit, Trump signs an Executive Order making it socially acceptable for a man in his 70s to date a 24-year-old. The “Belichik Law” will “make girlfriends young again,” says Trump, played brilliantly by James Austin Johnson.
But hasn’t it always been socially acceptable for an older man to date a younger woman? In the skit, Trump says, “Old men can now date far younger women. We like that. It’s hot! But in reverse, it’s quite disgusting, right?”
My opinion on this matter is that as long as it’s at the legal age limit, then mind your own business. But Republicans are fine with a 49-year age gap, or 23, which is the difference between Donald Trump and Melania. But isn’t it weird that when an old fart starts dating a women who is waaaaaaaaay younger than him, she’s always a model? Holy shit. Have I been fucking up by deleting all those Facebook friend requests from hot girls in bikinis that I’ve always assumed were scams? Maybe my soulmate is a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. Never mind. I just remembered that, for some reason, that only happens to rich men.
While Republicans are very progressive and accepting of old, rich, wrinkly metamucil-drinking guys dating women who could be their daughters and even granddaughters, they hate gay marriage even though it doesn’t hurt them at all. We’ve finally progressed enough that Republicans don’t even want to talk about it anymore, but you know that if they could, they’ all vote to outlaw gay marriage. (snip-MORE, and it’s really good)
Shake Your Foundations by Clay Jones
Housing assistance is facing a wrecking ball. Read on Substack
This cartoon was drawn for the Fredericksburg Advance.
Did you know that 90% of Virginia’s support for housing assistance comes from the federal government? Other questions are: How much will DOGE/Trump cut from the HUD budget? How much will affect housing assistance? How much will Virginia lose from that 90 percent? Will Virginia lose all of it?
One question we don’t have to ask is: Does Trump or Elon care about housing assistance at all?
Creative note: We publish the cartoons for the Advance on Sundays, and I didn’t even write this cartoon until late yesterday, after I finished my daily syndicate cartoon. I don’t know why I put pressure on myself like this. I didn’t finish working yesterday until 8 p.m. I spent my Saturday working.
Music note: I listened to Fugazi.
Drawn in 30 seconds: (snip-go see!)
Three From Clay Jones
Preaching, Praying, Grifting by Clay Jones
Our international embarrassment continues Read on Substack
For just $59.99, with the Pope discount, you too can be buried with your very own Trump Bible. It’s the number-one Bible favored by dead popes, and will help you skip the line as it’ll impress St. Peter. Be the envy of all the other dead popes with your very own Trump Bible. For a limited time only, you can get two Trump Bibles for $119.00 in what we call the MyPillow Special! Act fast, as supplies are limited and tariffs are coming. The Trump Bible is the Popeiest!
I feel I need to remind everyone that having a grifter president (sic) is not normal and is an international embarrassment, which Trump excels. But just in case the grifting wasn’t enough of an embarrassment, Trump doubled and tripled down.
The dress code for Pope Francis’ funeral was black…all black. Melania followed the code. Naturally, Trump did not. Trump, who was placed in the front row to embarrass us further, wore blue, but at least the $97 Trump suit was dark blue. Trump talked about his Catholic voters before the trip, but wearing blue at the Pope’s funeral only showed them disrespect. (snip-MORE)
Negative Criminals by Clay Jones
Deporting underage US Citizens won’t make your polls go up Read on Substack
One reason Donald Trump will never be a good negotiator is that he cares about the polls too much.
Before he shut down the government in his first term, he boasted to Nancy Pelosi that he would take the blame. After he shut down the government and the polls blamed him, he couldn’t take it, and he caved. He got none of his demands, and Nancy played him like a cheap pair of cards. Other nations notice this. China notices.
Question: Who cares more about what their people think about them, Donald Trump or Xi Jinping? Do you remember the last time citizens protested in China? Tanks were involved. Trump is trying to deport protesters, but we haven’t gotten to the tanks yet.
Usually, when a president has low poll numbers, they avoid talking about it. Not Donald Trump. He can’t stop talking about it. When Trump has higher ratings, which is rare, he exploits it as much as he can and praises himself. When the same polls give him very low numbers, he calls them “rigged” polls. His supporters say you can’t trust those polls, even if they’re the same ones they cited months ago.
Now, Trump wants the latest polls “investigated,” and accuses the pollsters of election fraud, as if they had called a state election official and asked for more votes. (snip-MORE)
Fredericksburg is for the Birds by Clay Jones
Don’t feed the birds? Feed the birds? Read on Substack
This was drawn for the FXBG Advance.
Sometimes, when a cartoonist draws a cartoon for a local audience, they don’t expect readers outside the area to understand it. That’s the case for today’s cartoon, and I’m OK with that. I would like all my regulars to understand every cartoon I draw (because I love them), even if they weren’t drawn for them. I have a policy of not explaining my cartoons to people who don’t understand them. Not out of anger or arrogance, but out of acceptance that the cartoon probably didn’t work and they should wait for the next one. But that policy doesn’t apply to the local cartoons, so I’m going to try to explain this one.
I’m also concerned that local readers won’t get this one unless they’re all Advance readers (not advanced readers, but readers of the FXBG Advance, though I’m sure anyone reading my work or the Advance are advanced readers). The reason I’m concerned about local readers not getting this is that the story broke late Friday, and I’m not giving any back story in the cartoon.
The city of Fredericksburg sent out a public health notice that said, “Do not feed the birds.” Why? Because Avian Flu has invaded Virginia like a bunch of no-good Kristi-Noem-Gucci-Handbag-stealing illegals (sarcasm). (snip-MORE)
Woot! New “Cover Snark”!
Well, the preview looks different from the post; the link embedded as usual on the post, but on the preview, there is simply the title as a hyperlink. Either way, go there and prepare to be amazed and amused!
Memes make me smile
Afternoon Snark
I wish I could write stuff this good! Enjoy Larry David’s writing, though. Full story linked in the title; I found the story on today’s The Alt Media’s column. Among others, so go there, too. Maybe someone can get into the full essay on the NYWT, even, because I can’t. Still, this is entertaining in itself!
‘I must say, mein Führer, I’m so thankful I came’: Larry David spoofs Bill Maher’s fawning White House visit with Trump
Essay describes a surprise invitation in 1939 to a previously vocal critic for dinner with the Nazi leader, where ‘suddenly he seemed so human’
Larry David has written a long spoof essay in the New York Times in response to Bill Maher’s recent glowing account of his dinner with President Trump in the White House.
The essay, entitled My Dinner With Adolf, purports to be written by someone who was “a vocal critic of his on the radio from the beginning, pretty much predicting everything he was going to do on the road to dictatorship”. But he agrees to dine with the Führer because he “concluded that hate gets us nowhere. I knew I couldn’t change his views, but we need to talk to the other side”.
The dinner proves an eye-opening success, with the author much tickled by Hitler’s jokes, struck by his warmth and humanity and impressed by his skills as an agony uncle. As he leaves, he tells Hitler he’s pleased he came. “‘Although we disagree on many issues, it doesn’t mean that we have to hate each other.’ And with that, I gave him a Nazi salute and walked out into the night.”
The late-night pundit Bill Maher had dinner with the president on 31 March, and many predicted it would have been a combative meeting. Both men have been frank about this dislike of each other, with Trump calling Maher a “lowlife” and his show “dead”.
But on the 11 April episode of his show, Real Time, Maher described the president as “gracious” and “much more self-aware than he lets on”.
“Everything I’ve ever not liked about him was – I swear to God – absent, at least on this night with this guy,” said Maher. “He mostly steered the conversation to, ‘What do you think about this?’ I know: your mind is blown. So is mine.”
He added: “A crazy person doesn’t live in the White House. A person who plays a crazy person on TV a lot lives there, which I know is fucked up. It’s just not as fucked up as I thought it was.”
In his essay, David closely mirrors Maher’s tone, saying that one of his own jokes “amused him to no end, and I realised I’d never seen him laugh before. Suddenly he seemed so human. Here I was, prepared to meet Hitler, the one I’d seen and heard – the public Hitler. But this private Hitler was a completely different animal. And oddly enough, this one seemed more authentic, like this was the real Hitler. The whole thing had my head spinning.” (snip-MORE)
Original Memes!
The Gays Had the Funniest “Get Me to God’s Country” Memes. Here Are Our Faves
A post made by country singer Morgan Wallen after walking off the SNL stage has become a much-mocked viral sensation.
If you’re anything like us (gay and deeply unwell), a certain five-word phrase has been echoing in your head since Saturday evening: “Get me to God’s country.” For those of blessed readers who have no idea what we’re talking about, allow us to explain. Country singer Morgan Wallen, who I had never heard of before this weekend, was the most recent musical guest on Saturday Night Live, with recent Oscar winner Mikey Madison serving as the show’s host. He abruptly walked offstage as the show was ending, still fully on camera, then proceeded to post a picture of a jet with the caption, “Get me to God’s country.”
Considering that this guy apparently called his neighbor the N-word in a highly publicized 2021 incident (for which he later apologized), it’s hard to place much stock in Wallen’s judgement about which American geography is holy and which isn’t. (Besides, a certain gay little website is headquartered in New York too, so it’s personal.) Thankfully, the gay internet immediately did what it does best and proceeded to meme the hell out of Wallen’s words. Below, scroll through some of our faves. (snip-I can’t possibly snag all of these! They’re a worthy click. -A)
Fun Quiz To Go With A Book I’m Eagerly Anticipating Reading
What Cheese Are You? Take The Quiz! 🧀
The moon’s made of cheese now, so it’s time to find your dairy twin. Take this quiz inspired by When the Moon Hits Your Eye by John Scalzi and embrace your inner cheese. 🧀 (snip-click through and have a little fun!)
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My Results:
“40% – You Are…Aged Cheddar!
“Sharp, dependable, with a bit of bite. You bring structure to the madness and probably have a Google Doc for surviving moon cheese events.”
Scottie's Playtime 