And Now, From The Onion, About Its New Acquisition:

At Long Last, InfoWars Is Ours

By Bryce P. Tetraeder, CEO, Global Tetrahedron

Published: April 20, 2026

Let me tell you a story. When I was a child, I suffered from night terrors. It was always the same dream: I could hear my family and neighbors wailing in the street outside as they were pursued and then destroyed by a nameless malevolent force, something neither I nor anyone else could control, a great darkness that was, somehow, all my fault.

Today, that childhood dream is finally coming true. Today I can finally say the sweetest nine or 10 words in the English language: Global Tetrahedron has completed its plan to control InfoWars.com.

I’ve had a lot of time to think about InfoWars in the last year and a half. As the seasons have changed, my ambitions for the project have grown grander, crueler, better aligned with market data. Come, friends, and imagine with me…

Imagine a roaring arena packed to the rafters with pathological liars. High above you in the nosebleeds are podcasters, screaming that you’ll die if you don’t buy their skincare products. Below, on the floor, imagine demonic battalions of super-influencers physically forcing people into home fitness devices designed to dismantle their bodies bone by bone and reassemble them into a grotesque statue of yourself. Out of the throngs, an extremely sick looking man approaches you. He puts his hands on your shoulders. He explains that he is your life coach and that you owe him $800.

Such is the InfoWars I envision: An infinite virtual surface teeming with ads. Not just ads, but scams! Not just scams, but lies with no object, free radical misinformation, sentences and images so poorly thought out that they are unhealthy even to view for just a few seconds. The InfoWars of old was only the prototype for the hell I know we can build together: A digital platform where, every day, visitors sacrifice themselves at altars of delusion and misery, their minds fully disintegrating on contact.

With this new InfoWars, we will democratize psychological torture, welcoming brutal and sadistic ideas from everyone, even the very stupidest among us. It will be like the Manhattan Project, only instead of a bomb, we will be building a website. 

The InfoWars of tomorrow will converge into a swirling vortex of content about content, talent acquiring talent, rings of concentric media mergers processing all human artistry into one endlessly digestible slurry. This will be a dank, sunless place, one where panic and capital feed on each other like twins in the womb of a hulking, unknowable monster—a monster known by many names, but which I like to call modern-day America.

All of this is to say that I believe in us. I believe that with the new InfoWars, we can alchemize the pioneering spirit of amateur inquiry, the profit-maximizing drive of corporations, and the cold mental clarity that comes only with disciplined daily ingestion of mind- and body-altering chemicals. Ifwe can do that, what other great things can we do together? (snip-MORE)

Open Windows & Clay Jones

Yes!

Virginia votes tomorrow

Clay Jones

Republicans are upset because tomorrow, they could lose at their own game.

After Texas redistricted in the middle of the decade to give Republicans more congressional seats, which Donald Trump demanded, Virginia decided to add more blue seats. This upset Republicans because, dammit, they invented this game.

Now, the same groups that want to add more red seats in Texas are spending big money to argue against adding more blue seats in Virginia. The commercials have been wild, with some of them warning that Richmond Democrats are engaged in a “power grab.” Some of the ads warn that this disenfranchises Black voters. Others state that if you vote, yes, that means more “illegals” will invade the state to commit crimes. It’s getting nasty, but Republicans don’t know how to win any other way. They use this information, and they cheat. (snip-MORE)


Kash Patel sues The Atlantic for defamation

F.B.I. director is seeking $250 million in damages

Ann Telnaes

Under the influence and unqualified.


The Book of Sam

I have been waiting since 2006 to get this movie quote into a cartoon.

Clay Jones

Last week in Cameroon (in case you are a Republican, that is a nation on the continent of Africa), Pope Leo quoted a Bible verse, which was, “Jesus told us, ‘Blessed are the peacemakers, but woe to those who manipulate religion in the very name of God for their own military, economic, or political gain, dragging that which is sacred into darkness and filth.’” And then, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, while claiming that God is on his side to wage war, quoted a fake Bible verse at a prayer breakfast.

The verse was inspired by Ezekiel 25:17 and comes from one of my favorite movies, Pulp Fiction. It was delivered brilliantly and forcefully by one of my favorite actors, Samuel L. Jackson. (snip-MORE, also deliberate and forceful!)

Pig Is My Spirit Animal

https://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2026/04/20

This Week’s “Lay Lines”

https://www.gocomics.com/lay-lines/2026/04/20

Funny Gay Commercials

A Little Monday Mix

https://www.gocomics.com/chuckdrawsthings/2026/04/17


Wichita’s “Rosie the Riveter,” B-29 DOC volunteer Connie Palacioz dies at 101

WICHITA, Kan. (KWCH) – Connie Palacioz, a World War II-era “Rosie the Riveter” who helped build B-29 Superfortress bombers in Wichita and later spent decades volunteering with the restored B-29 DOC aircraft, has died. She was 101.

During World War II, more than six million women entered the workforce in a variety of roles, including factory work that was crucial to the war effort.

Palacioz went to work at The Boeing Co. in Wichita at age 17 and served as a riveter on the B-29 production line from 1943 to 1945. The Wichita factory built 1,644 B-29 Superfortress bombers during the war.

In 2000, when B-29 DOC returned to Wichita for restoration, Palacioz was 75 years old. She joined the team working to return the aircraft to flight, according to a statement from Doc’s Friends, Inc., the non-profit she volunteered at.

“She was the first one up when she was on tour with us, and the last one to leave the airplane. She was so proud of what she and her volunteers and what she and her team had built,” said B-29 DOC Executive Director Josh Wells.

Palacioz remained an active member of the organization for 26 years. She served as an advocate for the nonprofit’s mission while sharing her own story and those of other women who worked in wartime production.

“Connie’s life journey was inspiring, and it’s been our great honor to have shared her legacy and life story through B-29 DOC,” Wells said in a statement. “Not only was Connie a Wichita and Kansas legend, but her story and work during World War II on the B-29 Superfortress production line also made her a national hero.”

Wells also shared the impact Palacioz had on his life.

“She was an inspiration to me. She was an inspiration to many people, and I think she’s a trailblazer,” Wells said.

Not only was Palacioz a trailblazer for women, she was also a supporter of civil rights, as she worked with a minority coworker when no one else would.

“Jerry was African-American, and Mom said, ‘that’s fine with me, I’m a minority, I’m Mexican, I’ll work with her.’ Then they wanted to separate them, and they didn’t separate,” said Tish Nielsen, Palacioz’s daughter.

Palacioz often reflected on her role in the wartime effort while speaking with visitors to the aircraft.

“When visitors come and they ask us, and then I tell them that I worked there and that I did this, and everything is still in order,” Palacioz said. “You know, I always tell them there were seven rivets missing when it was in the desert.”

“I wish all the others that worked with me could be here, but of course, they are gone,” she said. “But, I don’t know, it’s been great. It just is something that I can’t tell you exactly how, but I feel wonderful to be here.”

For many years, Palacioz’s story was unknown, even to her daughter, which Nielsen pointed to as a sign of her humility.

“When you would ask her, ‘why didn’t you tell us you were Rosie the Riveter?’ She said, ‘Well, I was just doing my job.’ And that’s the way she was,” Nielsen said.

Wells said it’s important to keep stories like Palacioz’s alive.

“It’s very important that we carry on their stories and honor people like Connie, to make sure that the next generation knows about them,” Wells said.

Nielsen said the thing she’ll remember most about her mother is her faith and her hard work throughout life.

“I would say she was a very faithful, faith-filled woman, who was very determined, and enjoyed life,” Nielsen said.

Funeral services are pending. A public celebration of life will be planned, according to the statement.

Monday, Back To It!

How About Some Shorts?







We Haven’t Had “Cover Snark” Here In A While-

Cover Snark: Burger King and Bobbleheads

by Amanda ·

Welcome back to Cover Snark!

From M: Another cut and paste disaster. This guy’s head is not only too small for the rest of him, but someone removed his neck. And what the heck are those red circles? Leftover Christmas ornaments?

Sarah: I need the Harley community to weigh in on giant red jingleballs on your handlebars. Seems…unwise.

And I cannot stop laughing at this poor man’s pasted on head. My God the indignity. His unveiled desire is to have his own neck.

Amanda: His head looks like it’s going to bobble right off.

From Elizabeth S: I don’t even know what all crazy is going on here.

Sarah: Setting aside the completely distracting Y shaped torso, did Wonder Woman get him? Is that the lasso of truth? What do you think this guy is confessing to, dedicated steroid regiment? Stealing conditioner?

Claudia: Wow. Gym-rat Jesus!

Sarah: The lat bar is his shepherd? He shall not skip leg day?

Amanda: This man feels very familiar to me. We may have snarked his image before.

Sarah: This is giving me Perez Hilton vibes and never in a good way.

Elyse: I was going with the little crown kids get at Burger King

Amanda: I feel like this has a new illustrated cover. I recently featured it on the After Dark sales.

Sarah: At least on this one, I can read the Wine Mom Font correctly.

Elyse: “Smell my finger.”

Sarah: Nooooooo

Amanda: Welp, now that’s all I can think about.

(snip-comments, etc. on the page, linked in the title)

Some Saturday Morning Fun