Please hit the link for a great song by one of my favorite singers… who we will soon, unfortunately lose. There is a bit of peace and a removal of all my adult worries when I hear that song, even if for just a moment.
I hit planet earth just a bit before Bert and Ernie, Big Bird and Mr. Snuffleupagus. Just. And while my street didn’t look anything like Sesame Street, I was welcome there.
There in the midst of the Vietnam War lived this street where good things and some scary things happened, but at the end of the hour it was all alright. There was a world where little boys and girls lived safe lives, no one got hurt, no one was afraid, and no one ever cried alone. One day I grew up and left Sesame Street, thinking I was too old, too mature. Never would I have considered just how much I miss that quiet little community just waiting for me there on Channel 11.
I’ve linked it here before, but not since I started posting. It’s called “Cover Snark,” done by the Smart Bitches, Trashy Books writers. It’s sooo funny, and there is eye candy for most, as well. The Smart Ones are good people. Enjoy.
C’mon-we all at least wanted to drink pop this way when we were young. Heck, I have days I’d like to do it now! Not to mention the joy of being a hummingbird-enjoy.
Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for August 12, 2024
If you know one thing about me…you know I absolutely love the sea and everything that comes from it. Over the last couple of years (we passed our two year mark here at Longer Tables and I didn’t say anything! Happy anniversary, friends!) I’ve told you about my love of oysters, and crabs, and octopus, and all kinds of fish, as well as the beauty of drinking seafoam, and watching the stars from the beach at night, and sailing across the ocean on a tall ship. So you know this is true!
And you know something else about me, which is that I love Vegas. It’s a city where anything can truly happen…there’s magic, there’s mystery, there’s great energy, and of course there’s some of the best dining in the world.
So friends—I’m thrilled to be able to share with you the news that my team and I, we are bringing two of my favorite things together: we are opening Bazaar Mar in Vegas! I don’t know if any of you were able to make it to Bazaar Mar in Miami when it was open in Brickell from 2016 to 2019, but I’m not lying when I tell you it was one of my favorite restaurants we ever opened (no offense to the others, of course! I love them all…). The design, these beautiful blue and white tiles everywhere, the art from my friend Sergio Mora, the feeling like you’re under the sea, were amazing. And the menu! We did some of our best R&D there, and served some incredible seafood to happy guests. I was so sad we had to close it five years ago.
But now, it’s as if it’s rising again from the ashes, crossing the country to become a beautiful oasis of seafood in the middle of the Nevada desert.
Friends—Bazaar Mar is back, and I couldn’t be happier.
If you’ve never been to a Bazaar, I’ll tell you this: it’s a place of discovery, of wonder, of surprise. You can visit a Bazaar multiple times and still find new things. Think of exploring a spice bazaar or a market in a new city: what do you think you’ll find? What will you taste, what will you smell, what will you see? There’s always something new around the corner!
Some of you know that I also have Bazaar Meat in Vegas, which celebrates everything carnivorous, from jamón to suckling pig to thick grilled chuletón steaks. Steak is great, but sometimes you need to go to the open ocean! I hope that Bazaar Mar is that place of wonder and surprise for everyone who’s excited to explore a bit deeper below the surface..
Chef Manny and Chef Daniela, with Chef Victor from Bazaar NY!
Enough talk, José, more food! Okay, okay, so what am I excited to eat there? Well, I know what I’m excited to have, but I also spoke with two of my chefs from the restaurant—Daniela Romero, the restaurant’s head chef, and Manny Echevarri, the head chef of all of the Bazaars. Like me, they both loved Bazaar Mar in Miami, and are so excited to be able to open the restaurant again in an amazing city like Vegas. Here are a few of our favorites!
Got friends in Vegas, or someone who always seems to be there?
River Trout Cone: Every Bazaar has a unique cone—which, if you’ve never been to any of my restaurants, is a little beautiful crunchy two-bite snack that can be savory or sweet. The one we’ve made for Bazaar Mar has a flower made of a very very special trout from Virginia, raised by the Walker family in a 1930s-era fishery (I’ll tell you more about Ty and Shannon Walker and their trout sometime!). It’s got a little preserved Meyer lemon and dill on it…an amazing way to start the meal.
Cobia Rosa Ceviche: Have you ever had the fish called Cobia? It’s an amazing mild, buttery, firm fish, absolutely perfect with leche de tigre (the very famous Peruvian lime dressing for ceviche). This was one of my absolute favorites from The Bazaar in Miami, and I’m so happy to be bringing it back (a bit updated from the earlier version, and still amazing). Oh, and the Cobia is coming from Panama, from Open Blue, a project promoting the sustainability of this delicious fish.
Salt-Baked Whole Fish, served tableside: It’s just what it sounds like…just as theatrical and amazing as you can imagine. You’ll be able to pick your fish of choice, whether it’s turbot, lubina, red snapper, sea bream, or whatever we have from the fishers that day, and you can tell us how to prepare it: fried, like they do it in Ibiza; grilled over wood; Donostiarra-style (which you know how to do at home!) or baked in salt. I don’t know if I have a favorite, but I do know that to have a salt-baked fish prepared for me by a great server is an amazing thing! By the way, we won’t have this available immediately at opening, but we’ll be introducing it soon after!
Maybe you can tell—the fish we are serving is from the very best places in the country and the world. We care so much about the ingredients we’re serving, so we’ve found the best. And of course, fish, like produce, is seasonal…so you won’t always find the same dishes on the menu.
Okay, enough of me telling you guys what I love about this restaurant. I’m getting so excited thinking about it, and I hope you are too! I know maybe not everyone goes to Vegas very often, but I think maybe it’s time to give it a visit, just to feast for a few days…? You don’t even need to gamble!
I have been barely functioning all day. I feel right now the best I have since I got up at 1 am. I keep going back to bed, can’t sleep like I can not sleep at night, so I get up. I am so tired, I just don’t want to be. I want to sleep. I went to Ron a few minutes ago, told him I had answered all the comments I had, replied to everything, but I had not been to anyone else’s blogs in a few days. Then I told him I just don’t want to do it. I am tired. I want to shut the blogging computer down and finish my Spiderman movie I started watching, maybe watch some Star Trek Piccard.
Ron came over and hugged me, and said he thought that was a great idea. He wanted me to do that. I tried again to justify it with I was so tired. He told me, Scottie you have not been sleeping, ten minutes here, 20 minutes there. The longest I have seen you sleep in days has been 45 minutes. You’re exhausted and you’re hurting yourself. The medications you take should put you to sleep but they are not. When you do sleep you moan, cry out, move defensively. You’re not resting. You need to lose yourself in a move and go to sleep.
I have my heart doctor appointment in the morning. I had to cancel an appointment for Wednesday as I was feeling far too sick to do to it. I need to make this one tomorrow. So I am sorry to all the grand blog creators, all the meme wanters but I can not do it, I am done blogging today. I may just now go to bed. Or watch a movie. I think bed. Loves. Hugs. Scottie
As many here may know by now, I have PTSD and Intrusive Thoughts. An intrusive thought is an unwelcome, involuntary thought, image, or unpleasant idea that may become an obsession, is upsetting or distressing, and can feel difficult to manage or eliminate. Everyone here has been very supportive as I have been having a surge in memories and issues with it. Memories of humiliations, rapes, forced oral sex, and horrific punishments for a kid of 3 to nearly 8 years old. Things like rubbing alcohol poured into my stretched wide butt cheeks as I was held down nude, to let it flow over my anus to my tiny balls and dick. Things like being tied to the stair banister with something that kept him head yanked up, blindfolded, hands either tied to the railings or through them so I couldn’t use them to help myself. In that position the hell spawn would leave me to randomly come by to hit me, stick something in my butt, pinch me, put painfully cold objects or painfully hot ones on my sensitive areas including submerging my tiny genitals in them. Anything to torture me and see me cry for hours. The memories cause the bombardment of thoughts. Suze here recommended a cortisol level check as that will make it harder to stop the thoughts. She said there is medication to lower the level.
I told Ron about her recommendation and Ron also agreed. But unknown to me Ron was looking up a medication he takes, Sertraline. Sertraline, sold under the brand name Zoloft among others, is an antidepressant of the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor class. The effectiveness of sertraline for depression is similar to that of other antidepressants, and the differences are mostly confined to side effects.
I went to bed about 7 pm. I couldn’t sleep. When he came to bed at 9:30 pm, I told him I couldn’t sleep, that my mind wouldn’t slow down, the thoughts were feeling like constant bombs going off in my head. As we lay there he was reading his tablet and I was trying hard to sleep. I was occasionally spitting out a word here or there that I couldn’t stop and did not realize I did it until after it came out, I was involuntarily waving my hands like I was trying to push something away from me. Again not knowing I was doing it until I did it. That is when he said he had looked it up and it was also used to treat PTSD and intrusive thoughts. He takes a very small dose of 50 mg he said. I reminded him what happened when they tried to put me on those mood stabilizing / mind numbing drugs. He said that he thought it was time for me to see someone again and start treatment before it get worse. He had hoped it would pass and wain like it normally does, ramp up, spike, then drop down to manageable. Now he was worried. I told him I did not want the costs of a therapist right now, and I did not want to see one. He wanted me to call or message my primary care with the issue and see if they could handle the issue as his handles his anxieties.
That is a big step. Ron has not pushed me to see a therapist in a very long time. Over a decade or so. But I have this last year been telling him in detail the different things I remember and the abuse I suffered and from whom. Before it was always the generalized, not specifics. He doesn’t want me to return to a state where I am hyper vigilant, started in to flight or fight at every sound. Unable to sleep and when I do, then screaming out in my sleep or begging not to be hurt. He is worried I will get back to the point that if I am sleeping and he walks into the room I wake in fear ready to fight to defend myself, not yet aware of where I am. So in the next few days I will do as he asks, and check in with primary care. Hugs. Scottie
Scottie's Playtime 