As Gwen Stefani said, “This shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Read on Substack
If you’re the president of the United States and you want to do a lot of corrupt bullshit, the first thing you do is hire corrupt people who will support your corrupt bullshit.
A sure way to tell someone is corrupt is by offering them a bribe. If they accept the bribe, then they’re good to go because they’re up to no good. Years later, when you need a corrupt Attorney General to vouch that accepting a $400 million plane from Qatar isn’t corrupt, Pam Bondi will tell the public it’s not corrupt, even though it is.
And then, when you need your spokesgoon to say something super ridiculous to defend you over selling access to the Oval Office, you hire Karoline Leavitt. Leavitt said it was OK for Trump to be at his golf club, hosting the top buyers of his crypto because he was off the clock, attending in his “personal time,” as though he’s just a guess. Get the fuck out of here.
The White House claims that Trump’s assets are in a “blind trust” managed by his two idiot kids, Sniffy Jr. and Eric. (snip-MORE, and it’s good!)
Republican bill cuts food aid for elderly, low-income, & disabled Americans by Ann Telnaes
and increased funding for their own version of Supplemental Nutrition and Assistance Program Read on Substack
Kansas Department for Children and Families denied a request by the federal government for access to personal data of a food assistance program. (Submitted)
TOPEKA — State officials have denied a federal request to disclose personal information of Kansans using the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program.
On May 6, the Kansas Department for Children and Families received a letter from the U.S. Department of Agriculture that demanded “unfettered access to comprehensive data from all State programs that receive federal funding.” DCF spokeswoman Erin LaRow shared a copy of that letter and other communications in response to an inquiry from Kansas Reflector.
The USDA letter specified that information to be collected for each SNAP applicant or recipient included name, Social Security number, date of birth, personal address and records to calculate the amount of SNAP benefits participants received over time. It was signed by Gina Brand, senior policy advisor for integrity at USDA’s Food, Nutrition and Consumer Services division.
The requested data would cover the time period from Jan. 1, 2020, to the present, the letter said.
DCF’s SNAP data is held by a third-party database administrator, Fidelity Information Services LLC. That company notified DCF on May 9 that a formal request for Kansas SNAP records had been made from USDA and that because of federal guidance, they were required to disclose that information.
“As such, FIS intends to fully cooperate with the USDA in facilitating its request for information, as required by applicable law and the guidance,” wrote Prashant Gupta, FIS senior vice president. He then asked for DCF’s written consent.
DCF stopped the process in a letter dated May 14, sent by Carla Whiteside Hicks, the DCF director of economic and employment services.
“Please be advised that we do not consent to your providing the USDA the requested information at this time,” Whiteside Hicks told FIS. “As you know, our obligation to maintain these records in confidence is paramount and may only be disclosed to the USDA for specific program-related reasons. At this time, we are unsure as to the reason for the USDA’s request. As such, we are unable to consent to your turning the information over.”
Whiteside Hicks also said DCF will be asking the USDA to contact DCF directly in the future. She asked FIS to turn over any information that they may have already provided to the USDA and to also provide DCF with any written communications the company has received from USDA.
LaRow said DCF is reviewing the request from USDA related to the personally identifiable data of Kansans.
“Security of Kansans’ personal information is paramount to the agency, and we are committed to maintaining confidentiality consistent with state and federal law,” she said.
The so-called “Big Beautiful Bill,” as Harry from Resident Alien would say, is some bullshit. And this is some bullshit.
First, it’s projected to add nearly $4 trillion to our debt, but that is a very conservative estimate. Even some Republicans believe it’ll add more than $10 trillion. I have a question that’s harder than defining Habeas Corpus. How do you reduce the deficit by adding $4 trillion to it? And don’t give me that DOGE bullshit as it’s not even going to cut $1 trillion from our debt, which is currently around $36 trillion, partly thanks to Trump’s 2017 tax cuts, which just got extended as part of this huge bill.
Yeah, that’s right. Trump’s 2017 tax cuts added trillions to our debt, which they extended last night shortly after Trump pronounced himself a “deficit hawk.” He’s more of a hawker of cheap goods made in China, like his shitty shoes, shitty caps, shitty guitars, etc, etc.
Trump is demanding that Apple make all its iPhones in America, or Tim Cook (who Trump used to think was Tim Apple) is going to have to pay a 25 percent tariff on them. This means that Trump finally realizes that China does not pay the tariffs, and Trump rules don’t apply to Trump. He’s NOT demanding that his shitty shit be made in America.
There’s a bunch of stuff in this so-called “Big Beautiful Bill.” Every newborn will get $1,000 invested into what Congress has named a “Trump account.” Yeah, they named it after Trump. It’s complicated. The newborn gets $1,000, which he can’t withdraw from the account until he’s an adult, which can only be spent on buying a home, tuition, or other stuff like that. Anyone else can invest in the newborn’s Trump account, but only up to $5,000 a year, and the accounts don’t gain interest like a typical savings account. The money isn’t taxed until it’s withdrawn. But if this is such a great idea, why is it only for the next four years?
That’s like getting rid of taxes on tips. It’s only for the next four years, which means it’s not supposed to help people in the service industry. It’s only supposed to help Trump, because he’s supposed to leave office in four years. Right? Right? And why isn’t every getting a tax-free income up to $20,000?
Personally, I think America’s political cartoonists should have their first $20,000 tax-free, for the ones who make over $20,000. Seriously.
And then there are the cuts to Medicaid and stricter requirements. There are work requirements, so tell Grandma to scour the help wanteds. Medicaid recipients also have to reapply every six months, which is how often Trump has to reapply the orange glaze on his face. Harry would say, “This is some bullshit.”
There’s too much bullshit in this bill for me to go through it all (like sneaking in a law that courts can’t hold members of the Trump regime in contempt), but it’s typical that Republicans are more interested in helping rich people than helping poor people. And they still haven’t learned that trickle-down economics doesn’t work.
It’s not like Republicans have to remember as far back as the 1980s when Ronald Reagan proved they don’t work, or back to the 2000s when W. proved they don’t work. They only have to remember back to the first Trump term (sic) when he proved they don’t work. Republicans don’t use the term “trickle-down” as often these days for two reasons. They know it doesn’t work, and the term may make people think of Trump and those Moscow prostitutes.
No matter what they call this scam, it’s the same thing. It’s trickle-down economics, and it doesn’t work. At least you can shower it off after the Russian hookers but in this situation, we’re going to get pissed on indefinitely. (snip-MORE)
Of course, Donald Trump doesn’t take weather forecasting seriously. He thinks you can move a hurricane with a Sharpie. Or, he thinks only he can move a hurricane with a Sharpie, because everyone’s supposed to listen to the Almighty Trump, even hurricanes.
Naturally, the National Weather Service isn’t going to be spared from DOGE cuts. Who cares if we’re only about two weeks from hurricane season? Last season, there were 18 named storms, 11 hurricanes, and five major hurricanes. It was the first since 2019 to feature multiple Category 5 storms. Hurricane season 2024 also closed the most Waffle Houses (I made that up, but it’s a thing).
And it’s tornado season, bringing 42 deaths to Missouri, Kentucky, and Virginia over the weekend. Would there have been as many deaths if there hadn’t been cuts to our weather systems? The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) and the National Weather Service (NWS) are crucial for the nation’s emergency-response system. Hurricanes are easier to track, but tornadoes don’t give much time at all to prepare. And now, the offices that track them are understaffed because of Trump and Elon (an unelected billionaire bureaucrat).
Five former NWS directors from both Democratic and Republican administrations wrote an open letter on May 2, stating, “Our worst nightmare is that weather forecast offices will be so understaffed that there will be needless loss of life.”
Climate scientist Daniel Swain said, “The net result is going to be massive economic harm. As we break these things, eventually it will become painfully and unignorably obvious what we’ve broken and how important it was. And it’s going to be unbelievably expensive in the scramble to try and get it back—and we might not be able to get it back.”
After the NWS’s first wave of firings and early retirements under the Trump regime, staffing at the service’s 122 field offices across the country has dropped to a 19 percent vacancy rate. Fifty-two offices are now considered “critically understaffed,” meaning a shortage of more than 20 percent. Some branches are down by more than 40 percent. The good news is that the budget for White House Sharpies has gone up.
There has also been huge reductions and cancellations of weather balloon launches, which are supposed to happen twice a day at every forecast office across the country. According to reports, they’re being saved for Trump’s birthday parade on June 14, which also explains the nation’s shortage of cakes and hot dogs (joke, but the parade is real). (snip-MORE, along these lines that should be read.)
Donald Trump set another trap for a foreign leader in the Oval Office. This time, it didn’t go like the trap set for President Volodymyr Zelensky (where Trump and JD harangued him for not surrendering to Putin), but more like the trap he set for a reporter, claiming a doctored pic of Abrigo Garcia with MS-13 labeled on his fingers was real.
This time, Donald Trump was trying to lecture South African President Cyril Ramaphosa about White genocide in his nation. This would be like me going to New York City and lecturing the locals that C.H.U.D.s are real.
I could tell them that I saw a documentary hosted by John Goodman on HBO back in the 80s proving that Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers are living in their sewers, leaping out at the right opportunities to grab old ladies while they’re walking their dogs for a late-night snack. The reason you’re not hearing about the C.H.U.D.s is that the liberal media and the Deep State are working together to hide it until you and your Schnauzer or C.H.U.D. meat. Why should they think they know NYC better than I do, because they actually live there? Hmph!
Did you know that last April, C.H.U.D.s ate 27,687 human beings, three Schnauzers, two poodles, and one of those skinny hairless cats that nobody is sure is an actual cat? I haven’t actually researched or verified these numbers, but someone on the internet said it’s true (that was me). And, most of those eaten were White people, because White people are the most persecuted segment of civilization in world history.
That has to be true because people like Donald Trump, Elon Musk, Stephen Miller, Tucker Carlson, and crazy old White guys wearing MAGA caps on the city bus keep warning us about the Great Replacement theory, where White people are being replaced by Mexicans and other people with suspicious skin tones. It has to be true because I saw another documentary, this one hosted by Mel Brooks, showing a Black man screaming, “Where all the White women at?”
I’m telling ya, White people can’t catch a break anymore, especially the White billionaire president (sic). Just this week, he was forced to listen to a Black man in the Oval Office refuse to be browbeaten to agree with his conspiracy theory. What next? Is someone going to park a Venezuelan food truck in front of the White House on what was White Lives Matter Plaza (there’s one near L’enfant station and it’s amazeballs)?
Ramaphosa was sitting next to Trump, engaging in fake pleasantries, talking about golf and other assorted bullshit, knowing he was sitting in a trap. Fortunately for the South African prez, the trap springer is a moron (person, woman, man, camera, TV). Ramaphosa said “listening to the stories” of South Africans would help Trump better understand the bullshit he was talking about, except Trump doesn’t listen. But then, Trump had the lights dimmed (It’s a trap!), as a MAGAt aide turned on the TV and played a video of South African opposition politicians singing apartheid-era songs about shooting Boers, a term that refers to farmers or Afrikaners (the term for White South Africans). The video was several years old.
Drone footage showed supposed Afrikaner graves marked by white crosses. Then Trump whipped out newspaper clippings (probably all from Breitbart) about recent killings in South Africa, muttering, “Death, death, death, horrible death.” My gosh. It sounds like there might be an agenda here.
It must have been tough for Ramaphosa to sit still when Trump said White genocide is “sort of the opposite of apartheid.” Read the room, Grandpa.
Trump got distracted when he called NBC reporter Peter Alexander a “jerk” for asking why he accepted a $400 million plane from Qatar.
Trump said rhetorically, “Why did a country give an airplane to the United States Air Force? So they could help us out, because we need an Air Force One. That’s what that idiot talks about, after viewing a thing where thousands of people are dead,” that Trump had made up. He’s so touchy when called out for taking a bribe.
Seizing the moment and embarrassing Trump, Ramaphosa said, “I’m sorry I don’t have a plane to give you.” Not realizing that Ramaphosa basically said, “I’m sorry, I don’t have a bribe for you,” Trump said, “I wish you did. I would take it. If your country offered the United States Air Force a plane, I would take it.”
Trump is an idiot.
There is no White genocide. It’s a lie that racist Elon Musk (who was in the room with Trump and Ramaphosa) has been pushing for years. (snip-again, MORE along the same lines; it ought to be read.)
There should be a test before seeking public office. I understand there’s on-the-job training, but this isn’t Taco Bell.
Even before Kristi Noem was the Director of Homeland Security, she was a governor. No governor in this nation should be as ignorant of the Constitution as Noem displayed yesterday. Don’t we already have too many Jeff Sessions in government? Even college football coaches should know what the three branches are.
Even at Taco Bell, I’m sure you’d eventually get shit-canned if you couldn’t keep track of the difference between a Chalupa and a Gordita. Fuck. Now I want some Taco Bell. Anywhos…
Democratic New Hampshire Senator Maggie Hassan is considered one of the mildest members of the U.S. Senate. I bet at least a quarter of my blog followers couldn’t name what state she represented until they read the previous sentence. Honestly, I might have fumbled it. Despite being one of the nicest in the Senate, Hassan still scorched Kristi Noem during a hearing yesterday. And Hassan wasn’t even trying. It’s Noem’s fault for not knowing her shit.
Hassan asked Noem a question a simple question. It wasn’t like she asked something difficult, like how many women have accused Donald Trump of rape and sexual assault. You don’t have to be a genius to know the answer either. Hassan didn’t hit her with a Navier-Stokes equation.
The question was: What is habeas corpus? Her answer was more embarrassing than that time Katie Porter asked Ben Carson about REO rates, and he thought she was talking about Oreo cookies. Dammit. Now I want some Oreos.
Noem’s reply was, “Habeas corpus is a constitutional right that the president has to be able to remove people from this country.”
Wrong. Not even close. It’s not even a nice try. If you asked this question as a part of a bar bet, you’d probably get a better answer and still win a beer. Hassan should have made this a bar bet, because at least she would have won a beer. My go-to question in a bar bet is: Name the only American president who was never elected.
Noem got her bachelor’s degree by taking online courses and earning college intern credits from her position as a member of Congress. That’s still better than Sarah Palin.
They say there are no stupid questions, but there are some real dumbass answers. Kristi Noem is a fucking moron.
Habeas corpus is a bedrock constitutional legal principle that safeguards individuals from unlawful imprisonment by enabling them to petition the court to review the legality of their detention. Or the short version, it’s the right to due process. That’s an acceptable answer. It’s an easer answer, and it’s definitely isn’t that Donald Trump doesn’t get to do whatever the fuck he wants.
Noem thought the answer was specific about deportations. It’s not.
After explaining habeas corpus to Noem, Hassan asked her if she supported it. Noem answered wrong again.
Noem said, “Yes, I support habeas corpus,” but she couldn’t stop there. She went on to say, “I also recognize that the President of the United States has the authority under the Constitution to decide if it should be suspended or not.”
Wrong again, Dumbo. That doesn’t even make sense if she believed in her first answer. She thought habeas corpus was the right of the president to deport people, and the Constitution gave him the right to suspend that right. What? It’s not surprising she’s dumb enough to carry $3,000 in her purse, and then to have it stolen right from under her in a cheeseburger restaurant. Shit. Now I want a cheeseburger. Anyways.
Article I, Section 9of the U.S. Constitution prohibits the suspension of habeas corpus “unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it.” That’s not happening. And, the president needs the approval of Congress to suspend habeas corpus.
Trump is violating due process, he’s ignoring court orders, there was another ruling today that he’s violating court orders, he has placed a giant image of his face in the capital which surprises me that there hasn’t been a sudden rash of car crashes in the city, he’s taking bribes, and Kristi Noem is a puppy killer.
I believe that if you gave a citizenship test to assholes like Trump, JD Vance, Stephen Miller, Marco Rubio, Kristi Noem, or any of the other idiots in this regime, they would all flunk.
If you have to take a test to be a citizen of this nation, then there should be a test for people who want to represent the citizens of this nation.
These tests are not difficult unless you’re a MAGAt dumbass.
Creative note: I’m kinda going through a fit this week with ideas. No, it’s not writer’s block, but too many subjects. I have several subjects I believe are nearly equal in importance, but I don’t have enough days. And no, I don’t want to draw several cartoons a day. When you draw too many cartoons a day, they will start to look like you drew too many. I can burn out.
I went with this one today because it’s timely, funny, I really liked it, and I’ll take almost any opportunity not to draw Trump.
I used five layers in Procreate to draw this cartoon. I hate using lots of layers while other cartoonists love them.
How much Trump Crypto to keep Diddy out of prison? Read on Substack
I was reading some of my colleagues’ work this morning at GoComics, and I came across a cartoon by Gary Varvel defending Trump’s bribes (also, Gary, plane tires don’t have treads). An idiot in the comments section wrote, “So they gave him a bribe and then they gave him trillions of investments? I don’t think you know how bribes work.” The idiot doesn’t know how bribes work… or facts.
None of these three bribing nations, Qatar, the United Arab Emirates, or Saudi Arabia, is investing trillions, which is a lie mentioned in the cartoon. A good way to tell if a cartoonist is instead a propagandist is when he/she rely on Trump for their research.
A lot of the “deals” Trump announced were actually made by President Joe Biden, while the rest aren’t binding, and won’t take effect until Trump is “supposed” to leave office, like that 747, Bribe Force One, won’t be ready until then either.
By the way, Qatar had been trying to sell that plane with no takers for over five years. Grifting, er, I mean gifting it to Trump will save them millions in storage fees. The entire world is moving away from that type of jet, including Qatar, which no longer includes it in its fleet of aircraft. This jet will now cost us more than its asking price to refit it.
This is like giving a dog a pork chop to make it like you, but in this case, the pork chop is a 747 jet. Also, the Qataris could have just given Donald Trump a pork chop.
What these nations really want from Trump is the arms deals and being legitimized by an American president (sic). It’s true they like Trump more than they liked President Biden or President Obama. The Crown Prince, who had Jamal Khashoggi murdered, rarely greets visitors when they arrive at the airport. He didn’t greet Biden at the airport, but he met Trump. Naturally, corrupt fascists governing monarchies without elections, who are also murderers, would love Trump. It’s like being loved by mobsters, Jason Vorhees, Jeffrey Epstein, and Roger Stone.
They also love Trump because they got a sucker who is easy to play.
Trump has been using his entire second regime to enrich himself. He’s fired the people who root out corruption in government, and then he got busy.
Our Attorney General, Pam Bondi, ruled that accepting Qatar’s gift of a jet doesn’t violate the Emoluments Clause, but she took a bribe from Trump years ago to stop investigating Trump University in Florida, and she used to be a lobbyist for…wait for it…Qatar.
By accepting the gift, Trump announced to the rest of the world that he’s open for business, and corruption is his business. If you thought his first regime was corrupt, as Bachman-Turner Overdrive would say, you ain’t seen nothing yet, B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-Baby.
In the first regime, Trump and the Trump Organization said it wouldn’t create “new” business with foreign nations. In Trump 2.0, they announced that they WILL take in new business from foreign nations, and they just secured a bunch of golf resorts and other real estate deals in the three nations Trump visited this week, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, and the United Arab Emirates.
The Trump Org. is now involved in six Middle Eastern real estate projects sponsored by Dar Global, the international subsidiary of a Saudi-based firm with close ties to the Saudi royal family. It gets worse.
Don Sniffy Jr. and his buddies have created a new private club in Washington, DC that costs $500,000 to join. It’s called the Executive Club. The purpose of the club is to sell access to Trump and officials in the regime. Remember when Republicans howled about Hunter Biden selling access to his father, and felt the need to waste a lot of our money investigating it? There’s no investigation needed here because they’re doing it out in the open.
And then there’s $Trump Crypto.
Trump used to hate crypto and has posted in the past, “I am not a fan of Bitcoin and other Cryptocurrencies, which are not money, and whose value is highly volatile and based on thin air.”
He also said, “Unregulated Crypto Assets can facilitate unlawful behavior, including drug trade and other illegal activity.”
And he said that bitcoin “just seems like a scam,” and it’s a “disaster waiting to happen,” and “I think they should regulate them very, very high.”
It must be true that it’s a scam that can facilitate unlawful behavior because now, Trump LOVES crypto and has created his own. In fact, $Trump Crypto was created in January, three days before he was inaugurated, and promised to make the United States “the crypto capital of the planet.” And then the crypto industry donated $18 million to his inauguration, where donations go to disappear…which is much like how crypto works.
Foreigners are jumping to donate to $Trump, including a tiny TikTok e-commerce company with ties to the Chinese government that has zero revenue, yet found the funds to buy $300 million of $Trump Crypto, just when Trump is delaying the shutdown of TikTok in America. Now we know why the delay was instituted. Maybe that’s why he’s delaying tariffs on China for 90 days. There are 90s days to bribe Trump not to place 145 percent tariffs on China.
Follow the money. Follow the shell game.
If you need further proof that Trump is taking bribes, then listen to this: If you buy enough of $TRUMP Criminal, oops… $Trump Crypto to become one of its top 220 investors, then you’ll get to attend an “intimate private” dinner with him later this month. If you buy enough to become one of the top 25, you will win a “VIP White House Tour.” And if you give him a plane, you’ll get to spend the night with Trump in the Lincoln Bedroom, and with guaranteed spooning time.
Trump is not even hiding that he’s selling access and using the White House to grift.
According to Bloomberg, $Trump Criminal, I mean Crypto, is nearing the value of $1 billion. Did you know the value of the Trump family has increased by nearly $4 billion since January? At that rate, their value will be $32 billion by the time Trump 2.0 is “supposed” to end. Also, at this rate, by the time 2029 gets here, Trump will have eight 747s.
And finally, the Justice Department disbanded a division dedicated to investigating cryptocurrency crimes, declared that meme coins are no longer subject to regulatory oversight, and paused a fraud case against a top crypto mogul who pumped $75 million into $Trump Criminal…oops, I mean Trump Crypto.
Now we know how Diddy can beat the rap, and getting a pardon from Trump is not out of the question. According to Rolling Stone, Diddy’s people are talking to Trump’s people.
Trump has attended Diddy’s parties, which are often called “freak offs.” Tiffany Trump has attended the “freak offs.” Trump and Diddy have both said they like each other. They’ve both been prosecuted in cases involving sex or sex abuse. They were both tried in Manhattan. They have a lot in common. They’re both criminals because Trump stole classified documents and Diddy stole Every Breath You Take by the Police.
How much $Trump Criminal can Diddy buy? Oops.
I meant $Trump Crypto.
Creative note: One of my concerns with this cartoon is that it may be too subtle. Well, too subtle for MAGAts maybe. The bribe in the cartoon was originally a 747, but I realized I hadn’t hit the $Trump Crypto bribes yet. Oops.
I meant $Trump Criminal.
Music note: I listened to some tunes today that have been remastered, and they sounded much better before the remastering. Yo, remastering MoFos. Some of us like to hear the bass.
Trump bashed the Boss — once known as the “embodiment of rock & roll” — due to Springsteen’s criticism of the drumpf administration.
“I see that Highly Overrated Bruce Springsteen goes to a Foreign Country to speak badly about the President of the United States,” Trump wrote. “Never liked him, never liked his music, or his Radical Left Politics and, importantly, he’s not a talented guy.”
Trump went on to accuse Springsteen of being a “pushy, obnoxious JERK” and “dumb as a rock” for having previously supported President Joe Biden, before attacking Springsteen’s appearance.
“This dried out ‘prune’ of a rocker (his skin is all atrophied!) ought to KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT until he gets back into the Country,” the president wrote, adding, “Then we’ll all see how it goes for him!”
That, to me, sounded like a threat! It sounded like the President of the United States just threatened a citizen because he exercised his 1st Amendment Right to Free Speech. I mean, I’m surprised he didn’t say “Nice guitar you gots there. Shame should somthin’ happen to it”.
Scottie's Playtime 