Lez Out July might be drawing to a close, but one WNBA fan made damn sure that it’s not going out without a bang, pun semi-intended. And by that, we mean that someone launched a lime- green dildo onto the court at an Atlanta Dream game last night.
The incident occurred during the fourth quarter of the Dream’s July 29 game against the Golden State Valkyries at the Gateway Center Arena in College Park, Georgia. With a minute left on the clock and both teams tied at 75 points, the drama was already high. Perhaps that’s why one attendee felt inspired to launch a dildo into the air and onto the court with truly impressive velocity.
(embedded tweet; I can’t get it, see it on the page, linked in headline)
At about 17 seconds into the above clip, you can see slowed-down footage of the dildo’s journey, seemingly tossed from somewhere high up in the stands and bouncing across the court into the sidelines. And yes, we did get a close-up shot of the “object” in question, as the commentators called it. Absolute Cinema, if you ask us.
(embedded tweet; I can’t get it, see it on the page)
Though the commentators said that there was “no room for that type of activity,” and we certainly don’t support launched objects at concerts and games, it seems that WNBA players themselves have at least enough room to make jokes about that type of activity online. Las Vegas Aces guard Kierstan Bell quote-posted a video of the incident with, “Damn how my shit get there,” and an eyebrow-raised emoji. Indiana Fever point guard Sydney Colson, meanwhile, posted, “Sorry I did NOT mean to throw that so far y’all.” Though she didn’t include a video, that lime-green heart emoji (which is weirdly close to the color of the actual dildo) makes this an unmistakable reference. (snip-good sports, all! MORE)
Of course, I’m just joking, but I might be starting something here. If MAGAts can believe in chemtrails (and they do), then they can believe President Barack Obama used Kenyan voodoo to give Trump cankles. They already believe in a lot of crazy shit.
The Trump administration claims that Obama committed treason by ordering an investigation into Russia collusion, but how is that treason? Who is it treasonous to, Trump? Is it treasonous to Russia? And how is ordering an investigation into an attack against our country treasonous? I think it’s more treasonous to ignore it or lie about it. It should be treasonous to take Putin’s side over America’s.
If Trump were president in World War II, and Russia had bombed Pearl Harbor on December 7, he would have called it a “hoax” and “fake news.”
Now, Trump is coming up with more bullshit to distract his zombies from the Epstein case. He’s howling for prosecuting Beyonce and Oprah. Even if what he was howling about was true, a president (sic) is supposed to let the Justice Department do its job, and leave it alone. Here, Trump wants the DOJ to prosecute Beyoncé and Oprah for supporting his political opponent.
MAGAts have been asking us, “How is Trump fascist?” Ordering the prosecution of your political opponents is just one example of fascism.
One final note: I do know that voodoo is not Kenyan. (snip)
Die, Die, UVA DEI, Die by Clay Jones
A board without diversity will hire the next UVA president Read on Substack
Abigail Spanberger will be Virginia’s next governor. Governor Glenn Youngkin knows this and has probably known throughout his regime that not only was he limited to one term, but so was his party. Just as Trump left things horrible for Joe Biden to clean up in 2021, Youngkin is leaving a mess for the next governor. With help from the Trump regime, one of those messes is at UVA, the University of Virginia.
As you may remember, Trump’s politicized Department of Justice, chock-full of goons, has forced out the president of UVA over DEI policies. They used his integrity against him, blackmailing him by withholding federal funds unless he resigned.
Now, UVA’s Board of Visitors will hire a new president. Unfortunately, the board is stocked entirely of right-wing fucknuts appointed by Glenn Youngkin, including former state Attorney General and member of the first Trump regime, Ken Cuccinelli. The board is nearly as White as the Trump cabinet. Even the two non-white members probably love them some mayonnaise sandwiches.
Trump has stripped funding for schools to implement his anti-DEI policies, which include shutting down student protests. Columbia University recently agreed to pay a $200 million fine to protect its funding, but lost a huge chunk of its independence to the Trump regime. (snip-MORE, and it’s very good!)
This cartoon was drawn for The Boca Raton Tribune. A group named Save Boca is trying to save the city from overdevelopment…and MAGA “leadership.”
The Boca Raton Tribune is a client of my syndication, and now they want to commission occasional cartoons from me on local issues. They choose the subjects, and I write and draw them. This is our second, with the first being in early July.
The cranes and buildings under construction were the editor’s suggestion. One thing I love about local cartoons is that you can put in local stuff residents will recognize. I do that with a lot of my local cartoons for the FXBG Advance, which is easier for me because I live here. That’s not the case with Boca Rotan, so it’s very helpful when the editor can mention local stuff. (snip)
I do not like to draw obit cartoons. I especially don’t like them featuring the Pearly Gates. I bet when editors receive an obit cartoon from me, they get slightly excited because I don’t normally do these things. And I bet that excitement drops real quick after they read the cartoon, because even when I do an obit cartoon, it’s not like other cartoonists’ obit cartoons. It’s not often I give you a Betty White.
Terry Bollea died today at 71. Bollea was Hulk Hogan. Hogan, like Ozzy, wasn’t someone who had a huge impact on me, like Freddy Mercury, Kurt Cobain, Jeff MacNeely, Prince, David Bowie, John Lennon, George Harrison, or Tom Petty. Notice that they’re mostly musicians. Even at the age of 11, Elvis’ death hit me. But sometimes I will draw an obit cartoon for someone just because of how iconic they were.
Ozzy was iconic. Everyone knew who he was, even if they couldn’t name a song of his. His reality show helped a lot with that. Terry Bollea was iconic, too, in that you don’t have to watch professional wrestling to know who Hulk Hogan is. If there is a Mount Rushmore for wrestlers, many fans would put Hogan in George Washington’s spot.
Hogan made wrestling. When the then-WWF (World Wrestling Federation) went national (wrestling used to be territorial), owner Vince McMahon (who is now in deep trouble for sexual assault) needed a babyface (good guy) hero to be the face of the company. And it worked, Hulkamania ran wild across the nation, as Hulk Hogan defended the World Title year after year against bigger and badder bad guys. One problem was that there weren’t that many bad guys physically larger than Hulk Hogan. There was only one Andre the Giant, and most big guys couldn’t wrestle, even enough to match Hogan’s three-move set. They once hired actor Tommy Lister (Deebo from the Friday movies) to have a feud with Hogan, because Lister was huge and had played the hell (bad guy) in a horrible film with Hogan. I didn’t have to see it to know it was horrible. One problem with hiring an actor to wrestle is that actors are not wrestlers. This makes for bad matches.
At Wrestlemania 2, Hulk faced off against King Kong Bundy, who was paid $50,000 for the match, which was half of what Hogan made for the event. Bundy wasn’t mad. He was happy because wrestlers didn’t usually make those kinds of paydays. Hogan was such a star that wrestlers made more money working with/against him. McMahon would sign new guys, not always by promising them titles (he often lied), but with runs with Hogan. This is an estimation, but a wrestler who usually made $1,000 a week could make $10,000 to $50,000 a week if he was working with Hogan. This information comes from wrestlers, but keep in mind that wrestlers are often liars.
Hogan was the hero. He would make his entrance to the song Real American (it’s catchy and annoying) while waving an American flag. He’d tell the kids to “say your prayers and eat your vitamins.” Hogan, despite never losing and being the champ, was always the underdog. Most of the match consisted of Hogan getting his ass kicked, until he hulked up. The villain’s punches would suddenly become ineffective, Hogan would turn around with an angry expression, take a few more punches, then stand straight up and point his finger at the bad guy, like, “YOU!” Then he’d start punching, whip the bad guy off the rope, perform a bodyslam, whip himself off the ropes, do a legdrop on his opponent, and then it was 1, 2, 3 for the pin, and the fans would go crazy. Find the Hogan/Andre match, and you’ll see. I was shocked to look this up to discover it lasted as long as 12 minutes. I’m trying to remember what they did in that match to make it last so long. It’s very slow. It wasn’t technical wrestling, and Hogan did the same routine for every match, but it was storytelling in the ring. Hulk always won….usually.
Hogan was a real-life cartoon. (snip; yes, there is MORE)
In the case of Saturday Night Fever, “[t]he use of disco-inflected classical music in the film represents the economic and social success to which Tony and his friends ultimately aspire,” argues McLeod. “The disco milieu represents one form of illusion—the illusion of power in the outside ‘real’ world that Tony imagines.”
Indeed, classical music represents an exotic world of sophistication, elitism, and wealth which, especially when merged with a homogeneous disco beat, becomes an enticing symbol of the unattainable, illusory, and artificial nature of Tony’s dreams.
Walter Murphy’s “A Fifth of Beethoven” makes its appearance when Tony and his friends arrive at the 2001 Oddyssey (sic) disco club.
“To some extent he is represented as the new heir to the cultural prestige of classical music,” writes McLeod of Tony’s appearance. The soundtrack, with its
seemingly contradictory and almost synthetically forced fusion of classical music and disco underlines the artificiality of his entrance and of the world into which he has crossed. It is likely no accident that the famous “fate” motive, heard here near the beginning of the movie, functions as a foreshadowing of the dramatic events that will soon unfold within this world.
“A Fifth of Beethoven” is easily the highest-profile instance of disco appropriation of classical music. Beethoven’s Symphony No. 5 is typically associated with notions of monumentality, heroism, fate, and relentless transcendence of the will. And while Beethoven’s version is about transcending humanity, Murphy’s is steeped in humanity, as it represents acceptance of common human desires—such as dancing—rather than superhuman transcendence of them.
The soundtrack also featured another instrumental disco–classical interpretation: David Shire’s “Night on Disco Mountain,” which adapts Mussorgsky’s orchestral tone poem Night on Bald Mountain (which is also the Chernabog segment in Disney’s Fantasia). “Night on Disco Mountain” is heard when Tony and his friend pretend to jump off the Verrazzano-Narrows Bridge.
“The faked suicides are symbolized by the ‘fake’ classical music,” writes McLeod.
Shire’s track adds another layer of grotesque ambient sounds to further heighten the atmosphere of chaos and alienation, producing what McLeod calls “an international and futuristic potpourri of sounds.”
“A Fifth of Beethoven” and “Night on Disco Mountain” weren’t isolated instances of classical–disco fusion. Wendy Carlos’s Switched-On Bach and Switched-On Brandenburgs recordings became instant commercial radio and dance hits. K-Tel Records initiated their popular Hooked on Classics series that combined classical music with elements of disco and pop music. This trend spawned a number of disco–classical albums such as Klassiks Go Disko, featuring “A Sixth of Tchaikovsky” and “Brahms’s Disco Dance No. 5,” and Saturday Night Fiedler, an album of disco arrangements by the Boston Pops.
“Many of classical music’s qualities, such as structural complexity and cultural prestige, were natural targets for simplification, reduction, and transmission to a mass audience,” argues McLeod. Artificiality is another common thread, as both genres thrive on the notion. “As in a discotheque,” he writes, “classical music is often enjoyed and appreciated in escapist settings by wealthy, well-dressed devotees.”
There are also similarities between classical and disco compositional style.
This is the latest installment in the Sacrilegious Humor series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a comedy bit that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please email me the name of the bit or a link to it.
Even as an atheist, I’m a big fan of Jesus. I really am. What’s not to like? A tall, gorgeous man with great abs and flowing hair getting his feet washed by prostitutes. And encouraging people to love their neighbors while slaying in a loose kaftan. And Jesus was an immigrant, by the way. Let’s not forget . . .
Jesus would have loved trans people. He changed water into wine; is that not itself an act of transition? And you know how I know Jesus would love trans people? Because he loved people. He loved all people. So, of course, he would love trans people and all queer people. I mean, Jesus was followed around at all times by 12 single hot guys, all of them also sporting kaftans. You do the math. Jesus loved the gays, America. Deal with it.
The only thing our current president has in common with Jesus is that they both owe their career to their dads.
Seriously, just think to imagine what it must feel like to be trans person in America today. Our government has legislated that trans people do not exist. It is trying to erase them completely. Imagine having to stockpile your essential lifesaving medicine because your president might cut off access to it for no other reason than it makes him look strong to his base. If the government is going to declare a whole group of people shouldn’t exist, why can’t it be truly a dangerous group of people like those who take off their socks and shoes on airplanes and then go into the bathroom? Why can’t it be people who use leaf blowers at unearthly hours in the morning? Why can’t it be unkind people? Which brings us back to Jesus. Yes, of course. Jesus just wants all of us to be kind. So, for once, America, I beg you, let’s all really try to give kindness a go. Like my little mom says, “It doesn’t cost anything to be kind.” And I guarantee you any situation you find yourself in will go better with a little kindness.
Bruce Gerencser, 68, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 47 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist. (snip)
We may have seen this here before, I don’t recall. We’ve each probably seen it somewhere before. It’s still funny! Laughter releases endorphins; those endorphins make us stronger. Enjoy!
Scottie's Playtime 