My view on HATE

I talk about hate, the word, the personal cost, and what it means to me. I talk about why I tried to remove hate from myself despite my childhood of abuse. I read something Randy wrote, and I praise his skill at writing. Hugs

I had planned to do several videos today. But to be upfront with everyone this one took a lot out of me. It came very close to my own personhood. It talked about a journey I took in private emotionally and only a few close people were part of it. I felt both very drained after doing it and also found it very cathartic.

After my mini stroke some time ago, I couldn’t even pronounce the word cathartic to Ron when talking to him about the post and how it felt. I could see it, taste the word on my tongue but couldn’t get the sounds out of my mouth. I had to go to the computer and run the word through the sound program and then I could only pronounce it if I heard it with in 10 seconds. After that I struggled and Ron felt so bad for me he came over and hugged me. That is the result of being poor in the US and needing healthcare you don’t get in time. But let’s talk bad about other countries that provide their people with healthcare, mistakenly claiming they have long wait times.

Yes I am glad I made the video but in truth it delayed other videos I wanted to make and I was very fearful of making this one. See in this video I expose myself in a very vulnerable way. I admit I am human and while everyone knows I was abused it is nebulas to them. They don’t know the details of the abuse nor how it really twisted inside me … and they really would like to keep it that way.

No I am not blaming anyone nor casting dispersion on anyone. It is easy to be sympathetic but far more so if the horror doesn’t touch something emotional deep inside us. In this video I am trying to reach that feeling deep inside. If it upsets you I am sorry but ask you to examine why it does upset you. That is really the point about hate I am trying to make. Many people hate and they don’t need to be abused to feel that way. Just listen to Fox or other right wing media, it is all built on hate of one thing or the other. They never really push their cause, just what they hate. Grown men attacking a barbie movie … to prove how manly they are?

So I made the post. I would appreciate the comments, good, bad, and the ugly. It will help me grow. Both as a person and as someone who wants to do videos. Thank you. As always best wishes for everyone and hugs for those that want them.

I am so tired of the lies about immigrants to please the maga bastards.

OK this is me just ranting before bed. Sorry. See I was an abused kid. Most of you who come here already know and don’t need any extra help in that to show you how badly I was abused. So I don’t need to show you more than my occasionally over the top ranting about my childhood abuse or the republicans claiming the republicans are stealing kids at the border … which is really what the republicans did. They separated parents from children and then gave the children to Christian adoption agencies to sell for profit. I wonder how their god feels about that. But please let’s keep talking about how Biden lost all these kids … who were never lost. Does any one else mind they are doing this????? Because as a human trafficked sexually abused and traded person … I fucking sure DO! Hugs.

https://apnews.com/article/fact-check-misinformation-migrant-children-missing-7ab0cea2fd2238346197429e952baa8b

https://www.usnews.com/news/us/articles/2024-10-02/fact-focus-claims-that-more-than-300-000-migrant-children-are-missing-lack-context

I am so very very tired and sorry if I hurt anyone tonight. It just hurts what the republicans are doing and keep doing. They hurt adults … They hurt kids. They care for no one.

I wrote this post days ago and fell asleep before I could publish it. Hugs

WA man accused of tying noose around teen’s neck because he said he was gay

https://www.fox13seattle.com/news/man-ties-noose-around-teen-neck

OK this is what the right wing regressive movement is all about. A teen happy with who he was and his friend who may or may not be gay as well, both being harassed and threatened for simply being open about themselves. They were harming no one, but some asshole right wing adult took offense and wanted to teach them fear for being different from straight cis folk. This is the right wing / Christian nationalism desire for a 1950s fake culture of only the things they demand be accepted being seen in society. I remember a person I knew who was elderly asking me why we gays just couldn’t stay in the closet and not let anyone know, it was better then. I asked for whom? The answer was those straight cis happy people.

One of the co-founders of the Florida don’t say gay bill that started all this was a hyper fundamentalist Christian who publically said he wrote the bill because he was upset and disgusted that kids were coming out to their peers and being accepted instead of ostracized, humiliated, and beaten up. He hated that students, young kids were not targeted for abuse by other kids and teachers. That stuck with me and burned deeply. The reason is below.

One day I in science class led by a large what today we would call a maga person teacher, after class ended and I gathered my stuff and started to exit the room I was attacked by a very large kid and his friends. I was small, about 60 pounds, not even five foot. I got smashed in the face and body, hit till I fell to the floor. I knew this feeling, I got it at home, so I did what I did then, covered my face already full of blood, curled up tight and took the kicks and blows. Before the bell rang again they moved off and I started to uncurl when the teacher grabbed by my shoulder and wrenched me around to face him. Through tearing blurry eyes I watched as he told me, “This is what you get for being a fagot and I hope they do it again and again” I went to the bathroom and tried to wash up and stop the blood. I sat a few classes in the bathroom. I got marked absent for those classes but no one asked why. This the world this person who wrote the “Don’t say gay” bill wants to bring back, that they are proud of. Hugs. Scottie

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By FOX 13 Seattle Digital Team

Published October 23, 2024 12:01pm PDT

Kitsap County

FOX 13 Seattle

Video at link above

WA man accused of tying noose around teen’s neck because he said he was gay

A 38-year-old man was arrested this week in Kitsap County after deputies say he tied a noose around a 14-year-old boy’s neck because the teen said he was gay.

On Monday, Oct. 21, the man overheard his 13-year-old son and his son’s friend talking, and asked if he was gay.

Video at link above

According to the Kitsap County Sheriff’s Office, the teen said, “yes,” and the man wrapped the rope around his throat. The teen managed to escape.

Deputies said the man also lassoed his son with the rope a few minutes later, and he also escaped.

Video at link above

The 14-year-old boy went home and told his mother about the incident, and she reported it to the sheriff’s office.

Deputies arrested the man, and the Kitsap County Sheriff’s Office said he was charged with a hate crime and two counts of second-degree assault.

WA man accused of tying noose around 14-year-old boy who said he was gay

The Kitsap County, Washington man was arrested Oct. 21 and accused of a hate crime. The 38-year-old man is accused of tying a noose around a 14-year-old before lassoing his own 13-year-old son.

The man was arraigned on Tuesday with bail set at $50,000.

Cops: WA Man Put Noose On Teen Son’s Gay Friend

October 24, 2024 Crime, LGBT News

Seattle’s ABC affiliate reports:

A 38-year-old Bremerton man was arrested Monday in connection with an alleged assault involving two boys, including his biological son, according to the Kitsap County Sheriff’s Office. Joseph Sweeney faces multiple charges, including second-degree assault and a hate crime.

The arrest followed allegations that Sweeney assaulted the two boys on October 20. According to the court documents, Sweeney asked his 13-year-old son’s friend if he was gay; when the teen said, “Yes, is it a crime to be gay in this house?” deputies said Sweeney put a noose around his neck and tightened it.

Sweeney allegedly recorded both boys with his cell phone while telling them to kiss each other in an effort to humiliate them, detectives said in the court documents. A search of Sweeney’s residence also led to the discovery of a firearm, which he is prohibited from possessing due to a prior domestic violence protection order issued in Kansas City in 2023.

Read the full article.

Moral Arguments Were Always a Waste of Time

This was really difficult to get through. As angry as I get just speaking these words, they don’t express a fraction of my true feelings. I don’t know if there are words for that. I don’t know if this will help, but I feel helpless, so I’m using my platform, which is something most people don’t have. At first, I wondered if it conflicted with my previous video, but after some contemplation, I realized that it doesn’t. My previous video never advocated disregarding injustice and atrocity. It never advocated abdicating righteous indignation. It was an anti-hate video. On the contrary, my commitment against hatred is what compelled me to make this video.

I think I’m done trying to make moral arguments. They all feel like bad faith now, like a waste of time. I guess if I ever do bring them up again, I’ll really have to consider who exactly I’m trying to convince, because some people have proven to be so completely delusional or dishonest, that it would be useless to argue – like talking to a tree.

Two videos about my abuse, about my current sleep issues, and about me trying to help a fellow survivor

Hi everyone. I spent the late morning / early afternoon making a couple videos. I was talking about what was keeping me busy and occupied the last couple of weeks. But these videos touch on my hurts, my pain, not news. One is shorter because when Ron came to the door, I meant to hit the pause button but hit the stop recording one. I am using new equipment, so if there is any sound or video issues, please let me know. Hugs. Scottie

I talk about my own childhood abuse and helping a friend with his own abuse issues first part.

Me speaking about my abuse and trying to help a friend who was abused also. I also explain my time management issues.

This is what happened to me.

The below is my response to a thread on the Male Survivor site where people were talking about intervening if they saw something suspicious but not outright abuse with a child. One guy commented that what if the adult later took it out on the child. Sorry but these are the memories and never seeming to stop thoughts I am dealing with right now. Hugs. Scottie

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Hi. That is what happened to me. I was driving my snowmobile to a basket making shop to cut up cardboard for the owner. It was a job a kid could do and earn a little money. The owner was friends with my parents. I hit ice, couldn’t completely stop in time, bumped the bumper of a large car. No damage to the car but the cowling / hood of the snowmobile was broken badly. That meant I had to call my AF (the male of the couple who adopted me, the woman is AM, their children are the hell spawn) who showed up at the place while I was inside cutting the cardboard in a separate area of the shop. He came in and started to beat me. My AF is a large man with huge arms and shoulders who was a barroom brawler when younger. The man who owned the shop was a former Marine and taller than the AF but maybe as strong. He heard my cries and AF swearing at me, rushed in to the area I was being beaten, grabbed the AF and pushed him to the wall away from me. It might have got worse but the other workers were now watching. I never saw what happened as very quickly someone grabbed me and took me to the other part of the shop and got me calmed down. I was so relieved. The owner came to tell me that the AF had left and they were going to fix my machine at the shop, so someone would drop me off at home. Then came the time I had to go home.

There was no one there to protect me. I walked through the door and closed it, and the fist smashed into my face throwing me back into the door. He picked me up and slammed me into the door, then turned around still holding me and threw me down on the floor. He was furious raging about me embarrassing him, and he would teach me not to go crying to others. Had I not learned it before never to tell, take like the … I was. The beating was bad with slaps, punches, and kicks, the sexual torture horrible starting with oral and going to hurt rape anal, and the humiliating thing he made me do after he finished in me was just more salt in my wounds. At least after he finished I knew it would be over, he had spent his rage but his anger would simmer until the next time. I was in bed in my little tiny room hardly big enough for a small bunk bed having been warned to keep my sniveling quiet so the AM wouldn’t be upset when she got home. I was told not to come out or let him see me again that day / night. I heard him yelling telling the AM that I was grounded and wouldn’t get supper for smashing the snowmobile and disobeying him. He told her only that he punished me. She never checked on me. The next day trying to move and get up was horrible. The AM seen me and told me to stay home from school. I was terrified because the AF would be home from work soon as he worked nights. As soon as she left I took a small pack with water / soda and stole snacks from the pantry and went into the woods to hide for the day. After the weekend I went back to school. Same story, I got hurt fighting with other kids, or fell off my bike going very fast, or one of the other ones I was practiced at telling such as fell down the stairs in a home that had no stairs. I was terrified to touch the snowmobile after that.

Unless you can get the child or abused person away from the abuser intervening might make it much worse for them when no one is there to stand up for them. Best wishes. Scottie

Best Wishes and Hugs,

Scottie

Scottiesplaytime.com

Protect the children from this

damnable stuff, finally! It’s well past time!

REPORT: Feds Investigate SC GOP Rep For Child Porn

I am struggling

Hi. I am torn up right now with memories. I am not sure what to do. I wrote one of them to Jill telling her some of my abuse because she has told me it is ok to do that. Still it bothered me. My mind won’t release. I am having one of those times that the vortex of dark despair is hovering me right outside me. I am trying to distract my self. Damn it! I am 61 now, my last rapes happened in my early 20s. I am safe. I am happy. I have a wonderful husband who is even now making ravioli baked in the red sauce I made. Yet the memories come over me in waves. I want to forget, I want to not feel it like I did when it happened. But … but … Oh hell, I am going to do comments to help my mind settle. But today my emotions are raw and I have memories that hurt. At what point in my life do they go away? Really I am 61. I am safe, it is water under the bridge. Yet …. OK hug. Scottie