Tomorrow is Ron’s heart catheterization. Today I have reached a breaking point. After I did the things that had to be done this morning I am dissociating. I find my mind simply shutting down. I am losing time not hearing or seeing anything. My mind keeps parking itself in neutral. I have to keep it together one more day. I made Ron his lunch and got him into bed making sure he had his CPAP on. I took out a pork tenderloin for supper, and I will make potatoes and what ever vegitable Ron wants for supper. I am so tired and sore. Hopefully one more day. Hugs
Scottie's Playtime 
It sounds bad. But I believe in you that you can do it. As my DH used to say, “hit the Easy button as often as possible on what you have to do.” Catch up can come in another week or two. None of anything is your fault, and you do not deserve punishment, so chin up and take things as easily as you are able, in your good time.
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Well said Ali
Roger
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Hi Ali. As I already told you I was falling asleep in the waiting room and in the post operperating room with Ron. I learned I had another week of doing everything and caring for him. Then when I thought I could rest his focus was / is on his sister. I guess I can understand, she is in a new home, elderly, and needs his help. I just think he needs to realize I am past the breaking point. My back had serious troubles before and I damaged it when I moved that stuff. Yesterday I was able to do dishes only pausing to sit once for 15 minutes. I need time to just sit and lie down, but I won’t get that until his sister goes north in May. Hugs
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You and Ron are always in our thoughts Scottie.
We have belief in you guys.
Roger & Sheila
🌈🙏
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Hi Roger. It will work out. I just need time to rest and heal a bit. I was doing far too much and under too much stress. Then after the procedure I learned while Ron was far better than we thought he was still restricted for one more week due to the heart catheterization. After that week Ron went to Texas and I hurt my back badly moving stuff I shouldn’t have moved, but Ron was panicing. My back was already badly damaged and I did something that worsened it. Then Ron’s sister came here to her new home and it needed more work than she was led to believe. So Ron is with her full time all day and I am left to keep the house going. I just need to rest and heal, some how. Hugs
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Hi Scottie.
Sorry to read about your Ups and Downs. From my own experiences backs can be fragile things and we have to be wary of them.
I hope you and Ron can get the time and space to rest up somewhat. Some times whether we like it or not we have to let things go, and that can be a very tough call.
Take care and best wishes to you both.
Roger & Sheila
🙏🌈
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