What to do if you need help. Please do this. I understand.

Image from No-Longer-Just-Another-Bondi-Blonde.

Image from No-Longer-Just-Another-Bondi-Blonde.

Image from No-Longer-Just-Another-Bondi-Blonde.I do this.  I share on this blog.  But if  trouble I call Randy. I desperately do not want to return to the bad times.  But if the nightmares get bad, if I am crying I reach out to him.  Does he deserve to be my main support person?  No, but he is willing to be so.  Just weeks ago I was struggling with self harming again.  I called Randy.  I did not know but I interrupted his getting supper after a hard time at work.  He talked me off the ledge, he calmed me down, and he did not let me off the phone until I assured him I wouldn’t hurt myself.  That is the person Randy is.  I am so sorry to put my friend through this.  Hugs

Image from No-Longer-Just-Another-Bondi-Blonde.

Image from No-Longer-Just-Another-Bondi-Blonde.

 

 

 

 

Is This The Most Desperate Smear Campaign In Modern Politics?

“Material Support For Terror”: Journalist Reveals How US Synagogues Fund Israeli Settlers

Clips from the Majority Report on Bibi knowing about October 7th and how hard the Israeli government / lobby fights to keep repeating Hamas as a defense to every criminal act the government does.

 

 

Clips from the Majority Report on the right’s bigotry and Muslim hating Islamophobia

 

 

 

 

 

I was up all night with stomach distress.

Last  night I ate what I felt was a large meal for supper at 4 pm.  Ron made me a steak  with a small soup bowl salad along with three slices of buttered bread.  I ate all the salad, ate 2/3rd of the steak and two slices of bread.  I felt I did great.  Ron felt I did not eat much or enough and should eat more. Ron also eats everything I don’t finish and has his own hunger issues.  Ron is always hungry, especially at night.

I was so tired after eating that I was falling asleep at my desk, so I with Ron’s urging went to bed.  I slept until about 11 p.m..  Ron had stayed up until then watching a show.  So he came to bed and we chatted a bit. We decided to cuddle later.  But by midnight I was having stomach distress. It got worse as the night wore on. I got up about 1 a.m. and took medication and sipped on a deit caffeine free cola to help me burb releasing the pressure. I was careful not to add too much liquid which would cause my stomach to void as soon as possible.  I went back to bed a couple of hours later.  As I layed in bed I felt my stomach release and start to empty at 4:46 a.m., and at the same time I felt the morning bowel movement need coming on.    Related … I don’t know as I always do a morning BM minutes after getting up between 4 and 5 a.m..

I was still quessy as I got up then as I had a soda and a couple of fiber cookies. Ron and I talked about the probiotic suggestions and the suggestions on priorities.  As you see I have not stressed over being late on posts. MDavis and others have made a good point that my putting pressure on myself when I am not feeling well to do more is only making me feel worse and doing damage to the healing myself.  I will continue to do my best as I love doing this, but I won’t hurt myself or get so upset that I push myself harmfully to make the posts.  Thank you to the readers of this blog for giving me that space and letting me take the time to heal or at least not drive myself to being more sick.  

At 8:30 a.m. I ate a small piece of lazanna that I had made and frozen a month ago. It was great but while Ron had eaten the majority of it but the small piece he left was almost more than I could finish.  But it tasted and felt great as I ate it. 

At 1 p.m. Ron wanted me to have lunch. There was no way.  Now it is getting past 3:30 p.m.  And Ron wants me to eat supper.   I can’t!  So I guess I will negotiate a small sub or sandwich as there is no way I can eat a real meal.  I might do a small salad which I also would love.  

It is thundering and raining so the cat is terrified. Ron is going to make me a sandwich of ham, chicken, turkey, and lettuce, and he wants me to eat half of it, drink a nutrition shake, and wait to eat the other half for at least half an hour.  He doesn’t want the issues I had last night. I have my allergy appointment tomorrow at 10 a.m.  So I will be posting news from my iPad.  

OK I had the 1/2 sandwich and the nutrition shake. I have to admit I am full.  Entirely stuffed.  So I am glad I did as Ron wanted me to do. There is a reason he has like 27 years of medical experience.  If I had eaten more I might suffer as I did last night. Thinking of adding a few more things to the cartoons / memes post and then go to bed.  Hugs

 

Not where I used to be.

@austinvancemusic

Not perfect. Just better than I used to be. This one is for anyone who’s grown, changed, and kept moving forward. What do you think of this one? 🎶 #newcountry #countrymusic #countrysong #countryvibes #austinvance

♬ original sound – Austin Vance

For those interested in my food intake.

So after I came out of the bedroom Ron asked me to peel the potatoes for supper.  I had told him before I went to take my shot that if I was to eat it needed to happen soon.  So he made one of my favorites, shaken bake chicken, smashed potatoes, and brown gravy with corn as the vegetable. I was able to eat a small chicken part, a scoop of potatoes with gravy, and half my bowl of corn.  I was shocked to get that much down.  I regret I did not finish my cartoon / meme post nor did I work on the news post.  But I ate two meals today which is a big improvement.  But now I am going to bed as I am very tired.  Hugs

I helped Ron make supper and I am emotionally struggling.

For some reason the YouTube algerithum wants to send me more and more child abuse stuff.  I went to the bedroom to take my testosterone shot while listening to YouTube on earbuds. Suddenly, as I had my pants down and was about to inject myself YouTube decided to play child abuse songs.  I was not in a position to change the channel, so I stopped the feed until I finished my task.  But it left my mind open and memories and stuff started cascading into my mind.  I was in criss for 30 minutes until I pulled myself out of the cycle as I heard the vortex coming for me.  If I let the vortex take me it takes hours or days of effort to drag myself out of it.  Luckily I was able to respond / deal with it all, spent 30 minutes crying in the bedroom before coming out so Ron wouldn’t know.  He suspected something but did not pry, only saying he loved me.  I am so tired of this cycle.  There has to be a better way, a way with out all these triggers.  All these things that remind me of the past. Any way I am OK, I have to be.   Hugs

State Supreme Court says dad can stop mom from bringing child to “harmful” anti-LGBTQ+ church

https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2026/09/state-supreme-court-says-dad-can-stop-mom-from-bringing-child-to-harmful-anti-lgbtq-church/

Photo of the author

Daniel Villarreal (he/him)September 2, 2026, 6:00 pm EDT

The Maine Supreme Court ruled unanimously on Tuesday that a father can prevent his daughter’s mother from taking the child to an anti-LGBTQ+ church in Maine. The mother was represented by the Christian nationalist legal group the Liberty Counsel, which drew national attention to the parents’ custody battle by portraying the child’s dad as anti-Christian.

The case involves Matthew Bradeen and Emily Bickford – two parents who never married and separated as a couple over a decade ago – and their 12-year-old daughter Ava. In 2021, Bickford began taking Ava to Calvary Chapel. When he started noticing changes in Ava’s behavior, he asked a court to change his and Bickford’s custody agreement to give him greater control over Ava’s religious upbringing, Friendly Atheist reported.

Bradeen said that Bickford took Ava to a church service during the week and two services held on Sundays. He said the church began teaching Ava about the end of the world in the Book of Revelation, demons, suffering in Hell, and the reign of Antichrist, which reportedly made his daughter start experiencing “fear and anxiety” and panic attacks, and compelled her to try to convert Bradeen so that he wouldn’t go to Hell.

During Sunday services, Bradeen said Ava listened to testimonials from people who claimed that Jesus had saved them from “sexual and physical trauma, gay and lesbian relationships, and infidelity.” She also brought home work study pages about demons, adultery, and sexual impropriety. Bradeen reportedly never told Ava that he thought her mother and the church were “wrong,” but rather explained to her that people believe in different things and that he personally disagreed with the church’s teachings.

Bickford reportedly told Bradeen one day that she was taking Ava out of school to visit the state capitol, but in reality, the purpose of the trip was to attend an anti-abortion protest. She also sent the child to a church-sponsored overnight retreat without Bradeen’s knowledge and had planned to have her baptized without his knowledge as well. Their child custody agreement required Bickford to discuss these issues as part of their shared rights regarding religious education and upbringing.

During court child custody hearings, Dr. Janja Lalich, an expert on cult-like organizations, observed that the church’s sermons are “filled with hateful rhetoric,” including “homophobia, disdain of science, and hatred of public schools.” Lalich never called the church a “cult” but said that its “charismatic” leader positioned himself as a supreme authority with a connection to God that should never be questioned.

“The organization is based on fear – fear of the outside world and its risks – breeding paranoia, anxiety, and separation from the outside world,” a 2024 court document said of Lalich’s characterization of the church. Lalich also said that Ava’s attendance at the church was seemingly involuntary and that a child of her age would likely seek to conform to church teachings to gain parental and adult approval.

During one church service that Ava attended, Pastor Travis Carey spoke about the custody battle between Bickford and Bradeen and claimed that Bradeen had hired a private detective to “find dirt” on the church. The speech characterized Bickford and the church as being on the side of “good” and Bradeen as being on the side of “evil”; the pastor referred to Bradeen and the government as an “enemy” who seeks to “crush,” “quench,” and “strangle” the church and Ava’s faith.

Bradeen also said that Bickford opposed recommendations from the child’s doctor that she receive flu and COVID vaccines and also opposed Ava taking an antibiotic to treat pneumonia, though the mother later agreed to let her take an alternate antibiotic for the illness.

Bickford also reportedly opposed Ava getting any counseling or mental health treatment for her increasing anxiety, viewing both as “hoaxes” and believing that prayer alone should address her fears.

In 2024, a Maine District Court ruled in Bradeen’s favor, stating that the church’s influence psychologically harmed the child and giving the father sole responsibility for the child’s religious upbringing. However, the anti-LGBTQ+ Christian nationalist legal group, Liberty Counsel, appealed the decision to the state Supreme Court, saying that the district court decision violated Bickford’s First and Fourteenth Amendment rights to freedom of religion and due process.

In its fundraising emails about the case, Liberty Counsel falsely claimed that the district court’s ruling forbade Ava from “attending any church or Christian event — even Christmas or Easter,” from discussing faith with her mother, and from being exposed to the Bible or any “religious philosophy.” The court’s ruling said none of those things and, in fact, said those issues can remain subject to the joint agreement of both parents.

At the Maine Supreme Court last November, Liberty Counsel argued that the case involves one simple question: “Does a district court have the authority to prohibit a parent from taking her child to Church?” When asked by the court justices what sorts of church activities he would deem too potentially harmful to children, Liberty Counsel founder and chairman Mat Staver pointed out that children in other cases have been allowed to attend churches with snake-handling and child marriage.

The justices based their ruling not on the church’s teachings but rather on the harm inflicted on the child.

“Far from ‘declar[ing] that the Christian religion is psychologically harmful,’ the court’s finding reflected simply that it is harmful for a child to hear negative and frightening messages about one parent from the other parent or the other parent’s authority figures,” the justices wrote in their decision.

Liberty Counsel has said it will appeal the decision to the U.S. Supreme Court.

Subscribe to the LGBTQ Nation newsletter and be the first to know about the latest headlines shaping LGBTQ+ communities worldwide.


Daniel Villarreal is a longtime, award-winning journalist and editor who has written for NBC News, Newsweek, Vox, Slate, Vice News, The Seattle Stranger, The Dallas Voice and numerous other LGBTQ+ publications. He has spoken at SXSW, Creating Change, Netroots Nation, GaymerX, and is a graduate of GLAAD’s Voices of Color program and of the Poynter Institute’s 2024 Power of Diverse Voices seminar. He is also the founder of QueerBomb Dallas, an annual non-corporate Pride event; CinéWilde, the nation’s longest running monthly LGBTQ film series. He is available for interviews and educational talks.