Published by Scottie
I am an older gay guy in a long-term wonderful relationship. My spouse and I are in our 36th year together. I love politics and news. I enjoy civil discussions and have no taboo subjects. My pronouns are he / him / his and my email is Scottiestoybox@gmail.com
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Hi Scottie,
I decided to write this on a cartoons post, so hopefully you will be able to hear what I am saying. I had a dream last night, a kind of nightmare. But as I was dreaming I remembered I had a way to cope with nightmares. I had a concussion about 15 years ago (and many more since then, I am surprised I still have brains and a mind!) and I stopped being able to cope with nightmares.
Cope with nightmares? Impossible! Right? Wrong! But forgot I did it, and I still cannot remember how I taught myself to do it. But now I can do it again…
Somewhere along when I was in my 30s (oh, so long ago!) I was having so many nightmares I was physically afraid to go to sleep. I was seeing doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, and even a reflexologist (a very good therapist for me, he made me feel safe as he massaged my feet, drumming up memories I had been unable to cope with. Try one if you can afford one. It really helped me.)
That reflexologist taught me how to feel safe when horrible memories came gurgling up out of my past. He had me repeat, over and over, everytime I thought about it:
I am no longer a scared child. I am a competent and brave adult. My inner child is safe now. My adult self is protecting _him.
Yes, it sounds hokey. But very much YES, it helped.
And I started being able to cope with my past. But that wasn’t the end of the nightmares. Saying that, reading that everywhere I went, reading it aloud when I was alone or with a safe friend, (the sticky note thing I told you about), THAT started to help me cope.
And then I taught myself the BEST TRICK I EVER LEARNED: I taught myself to imagine that when I was going to sleep, I imagined myself sitting in a movie theatre, and watching my dreams/nightmares on a big screen. It was no longer me being the actor, but it was ME WATCHING AN ACTOR PLAYING MY INNER CHILD. “I” was no longer feeling what the CHILD felt, and the actor was just playing a role, so he was not really being hurt either. MOST OF THE HURT DISAPPEARED. And I repeated the movie theatre experierience every night, the hurt went away. The pain went away. THE FEAR WENT AWAY.
And, after a while, believe it or not, THE NIGHTMARES WENT AWAY!
And for 35 years I had peace in my life. till I fell and cracked my head. And the high-pressure started coming back. Again I was the actor on the big screen, but that actor was not playing my INNER CHILD anymore, he was playing the adult me. And adult me could feel the hurt, the pain, especially the FEAR, but when I woke up, the memories went away. By the time I was wide awake, I was safe, and I was adult me.
You are not too old to try this Scottie, but the time is now or very soon. Write those sticky notes, read those sticky notes, and when you can, say them out loud, EVERY CHANCE YOU GET.
Think of it as self-bypnosis. You can be who you want to be, a man with no fear, because his inner child is safe, and cannot be hurt anymore.
Tell me you will try this, Scottie. If you can see a Reglexologist, see one. And it is free to go to the movie theatre every night. Just don’t take popcorn and a drink — they get very messy when you are asleep. It you need, pretend. Pretend popcorn tastes mighty good.
I was so relieved being able to do this — repeating the above words over and over again for at least a month, started working. At last I was at peace with myself. It felt fantastic! And it still is. 76 years old. Finlally I am FREE.
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