Hi Everyone.   Sorry for no posts except from my phone and later from my tablet which I have to carry a backup power supply and cord with me now to doctors appointments as my old pad has a battery life of less than 10 minutes.  A new Ipad is not a priority for our money right now even the cheapest one.  Ron needs heart surgery, Ron needs cataract surgery, I need both new glasses and cataract surgery, and the van still has an oil leak.  Plus Kamyk has basicly given up and slipped into depression.  He had an apartment open up that he needed first/ last / and security for which came to $900 a month.  It was government-subsidized housing.  But because he is in long term care now the nursing home took all his SSI, leaving him with no money.  Plus he no longer gets physcial therapy so he is slowly losing the ability to walk again.  His sister started a go fund me but he forbade her to tell me about it.  He felt we had all done too much for him and did not want me or you people to think he was trying to milk us or be greedy. 

In a way I am glad he did not tell me until it was too late because I worry that as he can’t walk well, doesn’t drive, and did not know how long it will take to get his SSI back, that he wouldn’t be able to care for himself and so would be homeless in two months.  The nursing home he is in is really nice compared to the last one which was abusing him emotionally, physically, and even sexually because the nurses decided he needed Jesus in his life and he rejected that being forced on him.  So they were going to abuse him until he relented and came to their Jesus.  This one gives him his medications on time, changes his ostomy bag or helps him do it, and they have been nice / kind to him.  I understand his frustrations having to share a room with another person and basicly having no privacy but… the US government / wealthy don’t care about people in a land where profit is king.  

I got up at 4:20 to feed the cat who when he thinks he needs food howls to get one of us up.  I decided to stay up and watch the recorded news that I did not get to watch yesterday.  I was not well at all yesterday, highly stressed which has been the situation for a while.  My doctors were clear and Ron reminded me that my body breaks down under stress, and I am to be under as little stress as possible.  That is not possible and has not been for a while.   When I woke yesterday it was already much later than normal for me.  Ron said he could tell I was having a bad night, I was highly agitated.  I had gotten up at 2 am with a huge contracture, a “cramp” in the large side muscle in the upper part of the leg.  I managed to get out of bed but couldn’t straighten out my leg.  I spent 30 minutes moving around the bed holding on to the dresser and the end of the bed, leaning over to put weight on the leg, then removing it.  Eventally I got it to touch the floor and hold some weight so I limped to my office and got a cane, then went to the bathroom which was a critical need by then.  Ron never woke up and was upset I did not wake him.  Not much he could do that I did not know to do myself.

When I got up with Ron at 7 I still couldn’t move or use the leg which was being electrified from the knee down, I couldn’t bend the leg due to the muscle still hurting from the cramp.  I was swinging the leg forward and walking “peg legged” with a cane.  Ron realized something was wrong and had me take my blood pressure and pulse.  My blood pressure was extremely high.  My pulse was also far too high.  So high he asked me to take another dose of my blood pressure and heart rate medications. Ron had me sitting and checking it every ten minutes.  It was not coming down and the first news show I started watching made it worse.  So as I as them recorded I went back to bed until noon.

The reason for so much stress is Ron.  He had his new medication Saturday that opens the arteries so he was better Sunday, but all day friday and Saturday I had to watch him and deal with him.  He was exstrememly forgetful, unable to work his computer, he would sit in his recliner and fall asleep even during a conversation.  He has bad sleep apnea and so he has to have his CPAP machine anytime he goes to sleep.  But even in the bed he was forgetting to put it on until reminded.  I offered to move it out to his chair but he would promise not to fall asleep as he just wanted to watch a few things on TV, 2 minutes later he was asleep.  I would make him go to bed and I stay there until he had his CPAP on.  I don’t dare let him drive like this so I am doing all the driving and shopping now.  I am doing the dishes so he doesn’t exsert himself and the last time he washed the dishes he put everything away in the worng drawers not even realizing he was doing it.  So yesterday afternoon while he slept I did the dishes.  He cooked a porkloin last night so I have a bunch of dishes to do when I get home.  I did pick everything up and rinsed everything off / out so it should be easier than it could have been.  

I have a doctor’s appointment this morning and I have to go with Ron as you can see to his new heart surgeon on Wednesday morning, which I have to look up and see where he is.  I am tired people.  I went to bed at 5 yesterday but kept getting up to check on Ron as he was in his recliner and I wanted to make sure he was not sleeping.  Care of the cat has totally fallen to me now.  I asked him if he could clean the cat litter box before he came to bed.  He assured me he would so I went to bed.  And he did not do it as he forgot.  I did it when I woke up.  Randy is sick after just having surgery, his parents are both sick / ill.  Ron is teetering with the same thing that killed his brother-in-law.  And I am worried and scared.  

When I get the dishes done today I will try to get to the wonderful comments and reply to somethings Ali posted which I appreciate.  Ali has really stepped up and is posting more to give everyone something on the blog to read and engage in.  I can’t say how much I am grateful for that.  Got to go.  Hugs