OK I should go to bed but the war between my pain and my steroids that got me able to walk again.  So after a visit with the most understanding primary care provider I have ever had, he started talking about how I am still very anemic, and I am showing my iron is very low.   He went over the three situations why that could be happening.   

He explained his reasoning, I either am bleeding out like a woman with her normal monthly discharge.  He smiled as he said I doubt that is this case.  He then looked over the rest of the results and informed me I have a serious problem developing.  

The doctor looked at my elevated results and the other bottoming out results and quietly explained there are three causes. None of them are good.   

I could be not getting enough iron in my diet which I explained to him Ron with our limited budget tries to at least twice a week to give me red meat.  He will deny himself that beef even when I beg him to take some.  He wants our limited funds to give this to, to me

 The doctor explained that there were two other reasons I was having these results.  He worried I was bleeding, and that would be internal.  Also I could not be absorbing iron which is a thing a lot of people have.   I did not know that.  

So I listened to the doctor who is very responsive to me and knows my abuse I and told him I was OK with doing a lower GI.  He tried to offer me an out but I explained I had listened to what he told me the last visit and if he felt it was so important, I would do it.  

Then he asked about the PSA raising numbers and I am sad to say I reacted badly.   When he brought it up I started to freak out.  He was saying how the numbers were progressing, and I got very upset, interrupting him, grabbing at my hair and told him … look I just got myself willing to let a lower GI happen where something will be put up my butt by people I don’t know ……

At this point I was standing pressed back against the wall of the room I was panicking because of what I thought he meant.  To the doctor’s credit, he was not suggesting that.  He stayed calmly on his chair and told me he wouldn’t ever ask that of me.    He only was suggesting that if it was warranted, he would work with me on an appropriate echo or MRI for the procedure. 

Because I was so upset he did not do the normal touching of the body but did ask if he could listen to my front with his scope and then when he asked to put the stethoscope down my back I agreed but I guess I got so upset he only did two.   In my defense afterward, I offered to take off my shirt and let him repeat the tests.   But he refused to do that to me, saying never would he put me through that.

I am going to bed, but the cartoons / memes / news posts may not get out. It is 8 pm my time.  I will have to get up by 3 am to do it for everyone.  And to tell you honestly right now I am very tired.  I love doing this post.  

However this weekend I have told Ron I will sharpen all the knives in the house.   I do it because I can and it is good for the house.  So if I am not posting or such just Know I am dealing with home stuff.  Which I love as much as this blog.   Hugs and good night