On of my female abusers died

OK this won’t be a full post on my abuse because Ron is terrified of my being emotionally upset before my surgery tomorrow. This female sibling was pregnant at 13 and married at 14. But while she was in the house she was the defacto caregiver to me. She was the one who tied me to a stair banister and let her boyfriends and other boys rape me. Her soon to be husband wanted more so she arranged for him to force me to give him blow jobs and rape me in other places / context. He had a fascination with buttholes so you can guess what that meant for the 3, and 4 and 5 and 6 year old me.

She was the one who farmed me out to the guy across the street at age 3 who was a real little boy lover so while he used my body he never made me hurt like I was being hurt at home. He often got upset at my bruised body. He often gave me the only real affection I felt at that time. I just had to let him use my body to gain it.

She tried to get me removed from the will due to the fact I was adopted. In her own writings she said I was never a part of the family so shouldn’t have a share of the inheritance. She failed to mention how badly I was treated by the family for some reason. The courts disagreed with her. Her husband was the executor of the estate and he was informed and needed to be ordered by the court to change the legal paperwork to reflect my new legal name, but in her obituary she used the family name of my abusers. She knew better at this point, as did her husband who once was said to be a corrupt cop.

I am going to try to keep my mind from it. But what Ron doesn’t know is my mind went there last night. Just not bad enough for me to yell / scream out. I will have to deal with it soon. But not hopefully tonight the night before my spine surgery. Hugs

Today and why things are the way they are with me and the blog.

So this starts from last night. Without being graphic or at the risk of oversharing, Ron and I decided to put Tupac on the far out side with me in the middle. Tupac prefers to be in the middle, which I understand but it interferes with Ron and me being able to show eachother intamaticy and touch / hold each other during the night. It has been a frustration since Tupac moved in because before that even though we have a king size bed we were always touching and entwined during the night.

Move to monday morning. I have a standing order for 4 cases (24 individual 2-liter bottles of soda) of Publix caffeine-free diet soda. Because I couldn’t walk Ron has been going to pick them up along with all the rest of our groceries. But it was taking a lot of time out of his day to do the remodeling we needed to get done.

So today I went for the soda and a few groceries. Now I go to the nearest Publix store but it wouldn’t matter they all have super happy employees who are eager to help anyone who asks them. I often remark if you ask a person in a different store where such item might be they will tell you what aisle and leave it at that. In every Publix I have ever been that I asked the employee, they stoped what they were doing and took me to where they thought the item might be. If it was not there they did not just walk away they kept looking with me.

So remember I just got back to walking, and I have fallen twice. So I go in with a cart and tell the person at the service desk who I am and what my standing order is. She makes the calls and then remarks she has not seen me in a while. I explained that my spouse was coming in to get the sodas. I always wear my pride hat and it is clear that my spouse is male. Again never a problem.

A young man who he later told me he was 22 yrs old came with my order in a cart so I asked him if I could switch my empty cart with his full one. He was sure. Then he noticed me taking my cane from the cart before he took it. He took my cart to the cart area and then stood by while I paid for my soda and then offered to take them to my car for me. I was grateful and explained that I just got the ability to walk again and was worried about lifting these heavy cases.

This young energetic happy so very young person who is to me very cute as all young people are to me at 63 years old and disabled. He pushed my cart out to the car and put them in it while talking a steady stream about things. I have often told Ron that my pride hat is a magnet for the young Publix boys. One of them told me he was in in the dinner theater scene and loved acting. So if anyone mentions to you that the Publix stores are / were founded by Christian people who wanted the stores to show a Christian application in the world, they are correct. They are the most progressive pro LGBTQ+ and helping the poor while taking care of the immigrant or minority store chain I have ever seen.

As the young man and I talked I told him I needed to go back into the store and get some groceries. He walked me all the way back into the store and offered to help me do my shopping. I declined while thanking him.

I had 18 items on my list and I admit I added Cheez-It snacks to it. By the time I was done I was limping and very tired out. This was the first time grocery shopping alone since I got the epidural on my spine dealing with my right leg that let me walk and the right foot was cramping.

I do not know how decrepit an old man I looked but when I pulled into the open checkout lane, the young woman at the end of the counter who would normally do the bagging walked up to the end of the aisle in front of my cart. I appoligised to her for blocking her way and said I would move my cart for her to get by. She smiled and said no I just wanted to help you unload your cart. She loaded everything on the converbelt and then I limped up to the pay pad device.

Again I don’t know how disabled I seem but as we chatted the bagging young woman kept asking me if things were going to be too heavy. When I paid she offered to take my stuff out to the car and load it in the back as the other young man had done. I demured, I guess I can manage, I said I don’t want to take you from your duties. Nonsense said the older woman chassier and the younger woman said it is what I want to do and she offered to push the cart.

The young woman took my cart out to the car and loaded the stuff into the car. I admit I was grateful, as I was pretty beat and dragging as I walked with her. I had offered the young man a tip and he refused, I did the same with this young woman and she also refused telling me she was very happy to help me. Ron tells me he finds the store’s prices slightly higher but I remind him the aisles are wide enough for people to pass and all I wrote above, far different from the walmart he thinks is saving us so much money.

So I got home and Ron carried the heavy things into the house while I carried the small stuff. Then after putting stuff away Ron showed me the current “kitchen / livingroom A/C unit” he had pulled apart to clean. Yesterday all day he cleaned the one in our bedroom and gods how full of dirt and crap it was. Ron had started the laundry of cat pee towels and then the dark load. So I took care of all that.

But it soon became noon and lunch time. I made him a large sandwich of the meats, lettuce, and the condiments he wanted. I had four cheese stuffed hot dogs … Sorry the steroids that got me walking also increased my eating and sadly my weight a lot. I went from 168 to now 182. It is a catch 22 situation. Do I want to walk or be thin? Right now I struggle to control the hunger beast which two months ago I had no hunger at all and would go days without eating.

So to end this. Ron is sleeping and I will finish this and work on getting tomorrow’s cartoons/ memes / news post scheduled. I took out a porkloin for supper and will serve it with mashed potatoes, brown gravy, and a vegetable. If Ron is still working on the house stuff I will stop everything I am doing and do the best I can to make supper. If he gives up for the day I will save taking the extra pain medications and he will make supper as I do blog stuff.

It is 2:45 PM my time. If I remember my military training it is 14:45 for the rest of the world. Here again is an issue I want or hope everyone remembers. With my pain and my medications I get about 12 hours up time during the day. Right now that time is shrinking for me. It would be like most people coming home from work at 5 or 6 pm. They have about 4 hours left to do everything. I hope everyone understands my day is very compressed and at this point I have about 4 or 5 hours left in my uptime.

Please don’t feel bad about that. I am super lucky; I have limitations I can’t break. But I have a home to be in, a bed to go to, food when I am hungry, and pain medication to help me deal with my life. I feel bad for Ron my husband for 36 years who has to do the things I can’t, who heard me fall the other night and rushed to the room to help me up. But the truth is my life is constrained and limited. I got up at 5 am after a wonderful quality time with my husband. He can sleep in the afternoon; I can’t. If I try I am down for the day. So now I am back to putting tomorrow’s post together. I just wanted to share this part of my day with you. Hugs

Thank you everyone.

I thank everyone who is still commenting and reading what little I am posting. I will be back soon hopefully. I was going to make a video today on what has been going on but I am just too tired. Hugs to all. You are grand. Hugs

An update on the car and the bathroom, both are going to cost more money.

Hello Everyone. I hope all are having a grand day. We had the car taken to a garage to have it repaired. The engine did seize but the timing chain did not break as we thought. Ron asked why the engine locked up and the guy couldn’t tell why yet. It had the correct amount of oil but the anti-freeze which had been full was way down. The mechanic seem to think the engine block could have cracked. Either way it would have to be replaced. The needs a different engine … but new engines for that car are hard to get and the cost has jumped because they are made in Mexico and tRump’s tariffs are jumping up the price. The good news is after calling a dozen different places the man was able to find an engine for it that had only 5,000 miles on it. Basically new. The car it had been in was totaled so he could get it for us for 2 grand. Ron told him to go ahead. He will get back to us with the labor cost.

On the bathroom well all good plans of … Ron got the pipes in for the water lines both hot and cold also the shower drain, we got the toilet taken off, the new floor put down which due to the tiles no locking heeded to be glued with corners ones being brad nailed, the toilet replaced with a new seal. All good. Ron rechecked his measurements and we even set the shower where he wanted it to check the alignment of the water and drain pipes. We moved the shower back out and Ron built half the wall going across the two bathrooms and which would be the side wall of the shower. He installed the vent pipe in the wall. He ran the electric needed for the exhaust fan through the 2x4s.

Then life got in the way of it being easy. This morning we moved the shower in front of where it was to go. Ron had for some reason made the drain pipe far too high from the floor decided to block the shower up so we could slide it back in place and lower it down over the pipe. We got it blocked up and several times the blocks fell sideways so we scrambled to keep the shower from doing any damage like braking a water pipe. Then as he got it back nearly to the wall reality made itself clear.

The shower did not fit between the wall and the water pipes and the shower drain was off center of the hole in the shower itself. Ron tried so hard to force it to wedge it in place until I reminded him that if he broke the pipes then the floor would have to be taken up and as it was glued that means all new floor tiles. So we stopped for the day. Tomorrow we move the shower out of the way and he will need to move the wall. I hate to take even a couple inches out of the master bathroom but I guess if we have to do it to make getting both bathrooms done, then we do. Below are the current pictures. Best wishes for all and hugs for those that want them.

An update on the engine that the dealership claimed we needed to replace.

So first I thank all of you who read and responded to the post about how the dealership was trying to extort my 70 yr old husband into giving them the car and either buying a $10,000 engine for a 7-year-old car, or trying to force him into buying a set of hybrids they have not been able to sell … the 1.5 hybrid engine which no one wants. I learned a lot from each of you. I am clueless about engines.

A couple of years ago when the dealership smashed the front of our car due to a worker taking it for the butler service that we paid for that touched up the paint and applied a new clear coat, they wanted us to take one of the 1.5 engine hybrids. We wanted to have the same 2.0 engine we had only in the hybrid model. However they had a three-year waiting list for them. They dicked us around for nearly five months with each call telling us how they could put us in one of those stuck on the lot. We did not give in.

So everyone knows how they tried to get Ron to leave the car. I did not realize until today they asked that while Ron was in the service line. The guy took the car information and then told Ron they would gladly take him home he shouldn’t wait. Ron told them he wanted only an oil change so it shouldn’t take much time. They then pulled the thing of making him wait two hours then coming to tell him the engine was blown and needed to be replaced, so they would take him home. Ron at that time told them he drove it in and he would drive it home. I learned today that he told the service rep, “See those windows? They will be iced over and blocked by 8 feet of snow before I leave my car here. Bring it out to me as I am driving it home”.

It still took them an hour to return the car to him. They claimed not to have done anything other than hook the diagnostics thing to it despite Ron telling them not to. They took $100 off the price because Ron told them not to do it, still they charged us $260 for the diagnostic. All they claimed to have done is the oil change and rotate the tires along with checking fluids. It took over three hours.

Which makes what I am going to write next make them even more sinister. So Monday Ron called the guy that fixes cars at his home on his driveway or comes to your home with his fully equipped van. He told Ron to bring it over on the next day, Tuesday morning. We did, I followed Ron to his home. He had six vehicles in his driveway but he moved a car out and put ours in his driveway.

He had a tablet with programs that could diagnose the car issues. He showed us how the cylinders were firing. #2, #3, #4 were firing normally. He shut # 1 off and even I could hear how the car smoothed out. I just never noticed it before. The number 1 plug was not working well, firing only a bit of the time. I got panicked. Then he told us that it looked to him that the car needed the plugs changed. He asked if we noticed smoke or other stuff and we had not.

Ron sent me home and he and the guy went and got the four new plugs. The guy put them on his account so we would get his discount and Ron paid for them. So they were $10 dollars apiece and it cost us around that price. Then he took the plugs out and put the new ones in. Then he checked it on his tablet and showed Ron how all cylinders were firing as they should. He then asked Ron to drive the car around for ten or 15 minutes to see if it was running right.

Ron said the car was running perfectly so he went to pay the guy. Remember Ron bought the plugs at the guy’s discount, so the guy told Ron that all his work over 3 or 4 hours were only costing $80 dollars. Ron bless his heart and I love him doing what I would have done had I been there. He said sorry, but no. You took our car in with only one day’s notice, put it first, worked with us to keep us from all the things the dealership wanted to do to us. You need more than $80 dollars. Ron gave him $100 because the guy wouldn’t accept anything more. But he did say that he was willing to work on our van that has the issue of the lights on the A/C part of the dash not working.

A decent man well worth paying. This is the third time we have used his service, and each time we are stunned by how great he is at repairing the problem and the low cost. The dealership wanted to charge us $360 for doing the diagnostics. This man did it for free with a tablet that showed him everything and he could shut the plugs off with it showing us the difference with the bad plug out of the system. No $360 dollar charge. Our friend James who lived with us and still sends me texts calling me dad … oh how I wish … is having car troubles and Ron is sending him this guy’s information. I think the world is not as dark as I thought a week ago. There are still some people willing to do good in this world of darkness. Hugs

won’t be posting much today.

I am writing this on my IPad. They turned the power off to the house to replace the main box pedestal holding the meters. They said it would take between 4 to 6 hours but then we have to go to home depot and lowes to look at new toilets. I was in the middle of writing a post when they shut the power off. I have back up batteries for the modem and router and two much bigger one for the computers. How ever with everything connected to them they have a run time of only 72 minutes. Because I plug a lot more into them than just the computers. I have the sound systems, the powered USB hubs, the set up that powers the extra drives I have. Plus a few smaller items. Like I said we use a lot of power here in this home. I have left the the modem and the router on to see how long they will go on their back up battery. Hugs