Do you have a secret you can’t tell anyone.   As a 12 year old I had to please my drunk adopting mother because she promised to tell me about my real father if I did.   She did not.  I had secrets I could not tell anyone.  

As anyone can imagine I spent most of my time either out of the house and away from danger or when I got one at 7 or 8 years old in my room listening for the sounds of footsteps and angry voice coming closer to me.   Hugs

This last one I played so often to drive my demon thoughts out and to ask the question in my mind there was no answer to.  When I cried why … well I know why, small town politics, fear of my adopting father, not wealthy but a man of great strength and fighting skill.  No one wanted to cross him.   Maybe some day I will find the answer.  Or at least peace.  Hugs

Sorry for this post.  I was really doing well today.   But the last hour everything crashed in on me.  In Star Trek The next Generation Data the unfeeling android has an off switch hidden but for those that know where it is he can simply be turned off.  Right now I want to turn off.  Where is my hidden switch that will keeps these damn intrusive thoughts and memories turned off.   Anyway I was going to make baked ziti for supper but I picked up three pounds of ground chuck and will use a pound to make sloppy joes instead.   Hugs