One thing that was not mentioned is the reason Cuba has such poverty is all the US sanctions over 60 years. When Obama lifted sanctions things got much better for Cuba. The Cuban government is not the problem and when there was less sanctions the people were happy with the government. We are the bad guys in this. We, the US government is refusing to let any other country send any supplies because we demand they have a capitalist oligarchy system of government mimicking the US one. How is that working out for us? Cuba has free universal medical. Free education. Do we? But that is the old guy mentality that every country should / must do and be as the US and profit must be king. All this reparation for what was nationalized? Why? US corporations and wealthy land owners were raping the land and hogging the profit and goods. They had a better system if left alone. But again the old red scare from the USSR days. Remember “better off dead than red”? The US must push democracy and oligarchy. Venezuela was the same thing, we did not like that they had a government for the people, a socialist / communist one and they nationalized the oil systems because the profits were not going to the Venezuelan people but to western corporations. Other countries have a right to their own resources. But remember tRump demanding that Ukraine give up half of its mineral rights to the US / tRump family? Hugs
Category: Drugs
Trump Stooge Struggles To Answer Simple Question
Tracking Anti-Trans Bills | Erin Reed | TMR
And update on our appointment with the heart doctor and then Ron’s melt down. I am so tired and even more tired of trying to stay reasonable.
OK so we had the appointment with his new heart doctor. I liked him he smiled a lot and was a genuinely happy man even though it was clear he had a bent spine and so was hunched over. When Ron told him I was his spouse the doctor totally seemed OK. I was wearing my white pride hat as usual. He remembered Ron from the ICUs and asked if I was medical as well. I replied no Ron was the doctor in our family which got a smile and chuckle from him as Ron tried to protest that which made the doctor smile more. He said he would talk to both of us on my level, even if it was basic for Ron because he wanted me included. When I had a question he would answer it and totally include me in all the discussion. Ron has one blockage they think is 80% and and at least two that are 70% and one that is just starting.
The plan is to do a heart catheterization. They will go in through the wrist and prep the groin in case. They feed a sleeve into the wrist then thread a wire all the way to the arteries around the heart. They then open the blockage, put a stent surrounded by a balloon where the blockage was. If a part of the blockage breaks they can introduce medication right then to stop it from doing any damage.
Wow Ron and I had a huge argument. I dislike it and he totally blames it on me. But when the surgical center called to schedule him for the heart catheterization, and instead of taking the first appointment he asked for one three weeks later. I interrupted and said no you want it sooner if possible.
He kept the appointment for nearly a month and a week out. When he got off the phone I asked him to explain that. Wellhe replied I have Diane flying in on 3-28, and we are scheduled to fly out april 2nd. I was angry and argued with him that this same thing killed his sister’s husband and if he asked her she would agree he needs the early appointment. Which was when he fucked around and after we had a huge fight where I told him that his sister could get her friends and her husband’s friends to do what she had wanted Ron to do. She wants help with the moving company and then driving from Texas to here. When he calmed down from our argument he called her and she agreed with me. So then he was so angry that we had another exchange. I was trying to stay calm but he was so upset he was almost out of control, throwing things. I asked him to think of us. If he suffered a heart attack on the road or moving around furniture at her house he could easily die. I couldn’t keep or repair this house. I would not be able to keep Tupac and no one else around us will let him live with them or pay the 75 dollars for his thyroid medication every 6 to 7 weeks. He is incontinent and he leaves poops dropping out of his butt because he was hit by a golf cart and it damaged his spine and nerves. So he would have to be set on the rainbow bridge. I told him I would end up having to rent a room at Randy’s as he has offered it. Ron was furious and said I was thinking only of myself and I replied he was thinking only of his sister.
But by then it was too late to get in touch with the scheduling department. The heart place is huge and they have their own surgical center there. They only do six procedures on an operating day. So he hopes they will call him today. I worry that he will not be able to get a quicker date so I don’t know what will happen. Hugs
A bunch of The Majority Report Clips on different subjects.
It has been a good day but a long day and it just turned sour but I am fighting back.
It has been a good day, let me explain. Ron set our folding dining room table up to go through all the large filing cabinet, as he ran out of room for new files and some of our files are over 30 years old. As he worked on that I had made breakfast of thick bacon and scrambled eggs with Ron having muffins and me white toast. After breakfast we worked together on a really great now that it is cooking smelling recipe for pork chops using two packages of ranch dressing mix, can of cream of mushroom soup, and some seasonings I helped adjust.
I was on my way earlier to take my shower and a painful testorne shot when the water was shut down because the phase of the development we are in is hooked to the same water supply as the RV section and when an RVer forgets to unhook their water line and pulls out ripping the pipe apart or they back over and break the water pipe connection for their lot, it shuts down the water supply for both the RV section and the phase 1 homeowner section.
No real problem, as Ron was doing the filing, and I was doing tomorrow’s roundup post and my shower and the dishes could wait. But then Ron decided to go take a nap. I was joined him to help him into bed. As he got undressed I started to flirt and rub him. We had flirted and been sexually suggestive with each other all day. I am hypersexual and that is normal for a person who was abused in childhood as I was. Sex and the function of it are super important to me and mean far more emotionally than the act should. Ron understands that. He accepts that. But he is 71 yrs old and was put on a medication a decade or more ago that we did not know would kill his libido, his desire. He has since gotten off the medication but the damage has been done. He is trying to get over the effects of the drug but it is hard. He struggles to have sexual desires, while I am over sexual desire needing. He tries to meet my needs when ever he can or I need, which is all the time, but I try to control it. We do a lot of touching and at night in bed we cuddle for hours at a time. We simply cuddle pushing our bodies as tight as possible with each other and sleep that way. It makes the cat jealous though.
As he was getting ready for his nap without clothing my desire was going close to out of control even as I understood it as not appropriate or the right time. Ron realized my need and offered and I had a flashback. I was taken over by a memory from my childhood. It was painful and shook me. I started to shake instead of replying. Ron realized what was happening and instead of peppering me with questions moved back while assuring me it was all OK. He got into the bed covering himself while continuing to talk to me calmly and reassuringly. He kept using my name that is different from what my abusers called me. He asked me if he needed to get up and I said no, that was not good. I mumbled some sleep well stuff and went to my Pink Palace office and started to cry.
I gradually got my self undercontrol. I post this to try to explain how triggers work and the minefield my life is even with a loving wonderful husband. We were on the same wavelength for what I was desiring… but then the memories hit shattering everything. If this had happened on a first date or such it could have gone really badly and maybe violently. Ron has lived with me a long time, he understands some of my abuse and he knows how to deal with me to not make things worse. The fact is I basically have to have two minds / people of me. The outfacing person who appears normal and has no issues and who cares for everyone. The second one I try to keep hidden in public life except for here on the blog. A badly damaged person struggling to deal with day to day stuff and trying some how to understand the issues of what is happening with out letting it tear me apart while my memories struggle to constantly surge to the front of my mind.
I don’t know if posting this will have the effect I want it to have which is not pity but understanding the minefield I walk daily in life. It is not just the news about abused kids, it is not the survivor site where people discuss things similar to what I lived through and is still in my mind today. It is not even when my husband sees my needs and wishes the same that a memory or many memories can sabotage and ruin everything. I don’t know if any of you have ever needed to retreat to a “safe space”. It is not a weak person who does that, it is a strong person who knows they are close to breaking. I don’t care if the right calls it woke, I call it needed emotional health care. I often get overwhelmed and sometimes share that with you. But each of you I would think some times reach a point where enough is enough and you need to back off or change what you are doing.
Very few people are an island. I am not and don’t want to be. I love being part of a community and being part of the world I live in. However, I do admit it becomes difficult for me sometimes. I struggle and I stumble in ways that the maga would make fun of me for. I am human. I get it and have been hurt. I still stand up for others. And now I am calm enough that I will go get my shower and take my painful shot. Thank you for letting me express this part of my life and I welcome your comments. Hugs
The diagnosis of my pain doctors and it was worse than I thought.
I have been promising this post since monday. But I have always been too tired or in too much pain to write it or post it. I am going to start this tonight but it is late for me and I may go to bed before finishing so it may take several days.
The fact is before I even went to my pain doctor to tell me the result I knew things were bad. In the morning I can only sit in my chair for at most two hours before I have to get up and do something that helps relieve the pain. Mostly that is going to bed. I don’t sleep just lay their reading news or telling my self stories I create hoping to fall asleep. Randy sent me a headband with speakers but that just interferes with my own thoughts and keeps me awake. It was a good try and I bought one for Ron and he loved it. I will give this one to him. I go to bed and lie there only to get up and sit for a couple of hours to have the pain again overtake me. Once the pain gets that bad it is 10 to 15 minutes at most before I have to leave the desk and simply walk around or do something because the pain gets so bad so fast.
Also Tupac is on the desk being as close to me as he can. He is not lying on the towel I leave down for him but as close to the keyboard as possible even at time placeing his paws on the on the keybord hitting random keys. He wants to be as close to me as possible since Ron has been away so long. He feels he lost another human. I will be exciteed t0 see him react when Ron gets home on monday night.
So before the doctor told me the damage I knew something was badly wrong. So remember that even before I talked to the doctor I knew something had gone drasticly wrong. Sadly the MRI showed that.
Yup figured that would happen the pain levels are too high so I am going to bed. It is 8 PM my time.
It is now Saturday and I am trying hard to get this post done and out. But today my pain levels are very high and it is difficult to focus but I will do my best.
One of the things that the doctor told me was that my spine is no longer aligned; the disks are not lined up with each other but shifted to different degrees. Remember this was only the lower spine now they are going to MRI the upper spine. Second my spine has curved wrong. Then we got to the serious stuff. Degenerative discs, bulging discs, and discs so damaged that the nerves are outside the spinal channel. The arthritis is so advanced it is deep / spread in each vertebra. She tried to explain all the medical terms. At one point she excused herself to go speak to the surgeon I see for spine shots. When she came back it was with bad news. He no longer thinks epidurals will help me in my lower spine and I need nuero surgeon to do back surgery. Crap I cannot afford that. I am losing my sight, Ron has to have eye surgery right away, and the van needs 2 grand in repairs. That doesn’t even include my eye surgery and the repairs on our home.
While I did not understand everything she said I so desperately wished Ron had been there as he often explained these things to me later, and I have forgotten some of it, the situation is I need an MRI of the upper spine as well, she has refered me to her prefered spianl nueraal surgenon. Then I will need spinal surgery as the state and federal government won’t let them increase my pain medication because I can’t take the fentanyl patches with my skin allergies. I am being squeezed into a surgery I cannot afford or seeking illegal drugs for relief to be able to function.
I remember when I started in this clinic in 2009. They looked at my MRI of my spine and gave me 75 gm of morphine twice a day. I asked it to be reduced to half that amount and it was and I could live normally. But after the opioid “crisis” the states started to inject non-medical legislators into the medical field to show they were tough on abuse and misuse of drugs. It got ever more crazy until my life went from normal and even being able to work for a few years to not even getting enough pain relief to sit in my desk chair and blog for an hour. Now the federal government is demanding it be restricted even further, as RFK Jr. taking steroids can work out in jeans. On the restrictions I can’t get enough relief to blog for any extended time of the day. I spend half of my awake time in bed instead of at my desk. I struggle to stand to do dishes. I just told Ron that I cannot clean the floors before he gets home as I tried and it left me in tears. Even with our lightweight, easy to use cleaning devices. The damage to my spine and the lack of medical relief have gotten that bad. This makes no sense to me. Why deny me the pain blocking medications that allow me to fuction semi normally. It simply makes no sense to me. Why put me in this state what is the goal?
Do you see my point? Why put me and people like me through this? Do they want us to use illegal means for relief, or do they want us to suffer to death and go away? Do they care about us at all as they make these rules? There is more things my pain doctor told me about my spine I did not list yet, things like protrusions, spikes hooking nerves, some thing she kept say stenoisis, and nerves being pinched between vertebrae. At one point she mentioned I have advance degerneritive disc, I so wish Ron was there as I understood so little of it, then came the but you need a neurosurgeon and back surgery to help you because the state and federal government won’t let us give you enough medical relief to have any life. I hate this regressive holier than thou republican elected officials that swallow all the illegal drugs they can get from their providers while denying us poor people relief for bigoted racist reasons and their personal gains.
I am sure I left things out. I had to take after talking to Ron a saved 30 miligarm instant relief morphine because I was going out of my mind. I try desperately to save extras so when the pain is so off the chart I can get relief. But with the new restrictions, how do I do that? Why do the people in power who have access to pill mills and who have no pain and want to just make a name for themselves while doing the very thing they legislate against try to hard to make the live so people like me so hard? And I am poor and scared. Hugs
American Psychological Association Reaffirms Support For Trans Youth Care, Pushes Back Against NYT
https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/american-psychological-association
A recent article from Jesse Singal in the New York Times seemed to indicate the organization might be quietly retreating from supporting trans youth care.
A verity of clips from the majority report
“New Era Of Depravity”: AOC Rips Trump’s Cuba Blockade