Catching Up With Clay Jones

Cracker Cancel Culture by Clay Jones

What will MAGA World be upset about next? Read on Substack

Cracker Barrel, the restaurant that does to down-home southern cooking what Olive Garden does to Italian food, has changed its logo from one boring image to a new boring image…and White people are upset. Seriously, they’re upset.

It’s like that time Sexy M&M ditched her Go-Go boots and Tucker Carlson had to find something new to envision while spending “quality time” with himself. Or, it’s like that time Aunt Jemima was removed from syrup bottles and old White conservatives had to find something else to get sticky with. That reminds me, do you put syrup in the fridge after you open it? I saw that on the TV show Mom (Alison Janney is the shit) last night, and I was like, “whaaaaaaa?” I always thought putting syrup in the fridge made it all stiffy. OK, I’ll get off this gross roll here and continue writing about these wankers. (snip-MORE and it is good)

Cheat To Win by Clay Jones

Republicans cheat Read on Substack

The New York Times reported that the Democratic Party is losing voters, and lost over 2.1 million between the 2020 and 2024 elections in the 30 states and Washington, DC that allow voters to register by party. Republicans, on the other han,d picked up over 2.4 million. There are still more Democrats registered nationwide, but the gap between the two parties is shrinking.

This is a fact. Don’t say it’s a fake poll like a MAGA would, because denying it isn’t how you fix it. And yeah, I get it. It’s as confusing as why anyone would choose Trump over Kamala Harris.

The truth is, too many people in this nation don’t care. (snip-MORE)

New Schools and Bathroom Rules by Clay Jones

Linda McMahon wants to see your bathroom Read on Substack

This cartoon was drawn for the FXBG Advance.

The Advance wrote this to go with today’s cartoon: Fredericksburg City Schools had a tough summer (well, the School Board did, anyway), but there were some good things this year, like the opening of two new schools. What could possibly go wrong? Well, when the new U.S. Education Secretary’s experience for the job is being able to distinguish a Camel Clutch from a Cobra Clutch, and her idea of a towering academic intellectual is Hulk Hogan, a lot. Yes, the Trump Administration specializes in hiring — how should I put this kindly — less-than-smart people to lead federal agencies. So rather than ‘rassling’ with serious education issues, we spend our time banning every book with a black face on it and having freak-outs about bathrooms. Yeah, that’s gonna make America great. Just ask Clay Jones.

Linda McMahon and the Education Department are going after five schools in Northern Virginia over bathrooms. (snip-MORE)

Newsom Nuisance by Clay Jones

Gavin Newsom is trolling Trump Read on Substack

California Governor Gavin Newsom has been trolling Donald Trump, or at least his press office has. It’s being done in the style of Trump. The tweets coming from Newsom’s account are mimicking Trump’s style, as in stupid, praising himself, belittling in a juvenile way, full of narcissism, and often in all caps.

Here’s one tweeted out after Trump’s press conference with Putin:

TRUMP JUST FLED THE PODIUM WITH PUTIN — NO QUESTIONS, NOTHING! TOTAL LOW ENERGY. THE MAN LOOKED LIKE HE’D JUST EATEN 3 BUCKETS OF KFC WITH VLAD. IS HE AFRAID THE PRESS WILL ASK ABOUT ME??? (AMERICA’S FAVORITE GOVERNOR) AND THE FACT I “STOLE THE CAMERAS” THIS WEEK WITH “THE MAPS”? MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING HE BEGGED PUTIN TO HOLD HIS HANDS (TINY) ON THE WAY OUT. ADMIT IT, DONNIE J… YOU’RE TERRIFIED BECAUSE THIS WAS THE WORST WEEK OF YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF ME, GAVIN C. NEWSOM. “THE MAPS” WILL END YOUR PRESIDENCY, RETAKE CONGRESS FOR THE PEOPLE, AND EXPOSE YOUR RIGGED “LITTLE GAME.”

Now that’s funny, and it’s very effective. Proof of that is Fox News host Dana Perino’s reaction, saying, “Stop it with the Twitter thing! I don’t know where his wife is. (snip-MORE)

What We Can Do, And What We Can Help Our Leaders Do-

Linked on TenBears’s blog.

A key point: Josh Marshall has been writing about how to leverage the separate sovereignty of the states against Trump. “Strategic depth,” he calls it, from military studies:

Understanding the critical role of the sovereign powers of the states as a redoubt beyond the reach of Trump’s increasingly autocratic power is really the entire game right now, at least for the next 18 months and, in various measures, almost certainly through the beginning of 2029. People can march, advocate, campaign, donate to candidates, all the stuff. But in many ways the most important thing right now is both communicating to and demanding of state officials that they act on this latent power.

There are key areas where Democrats in Congress may have moments of power, the ability to slow a few things down. But to a great degree, the battle is already lost within the federal government until the next election. It’s only in the states where opponents of Donald Trump hold executive power outside the reach of and the hierarchies of the federal government. That’s where the whole game is. It is strategic depth not in extent or remoteness of territory but in the structure of government and the state. And states have vast amounts of power, far more than we tend to realize because we’ve never been in a position where the mundane daily activities of state and local government have become so critical — its taxing powers, its policing powers, the ways in which the federal government actually struggles to effectively extend its powers to the local level at scale without the active participation of local government.

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As Real As It Gets

Published by Tom Sullivan on August 25, 2025

Something Jason Sattler wrote yesterday needs repeating this morning:

Everything we do makes it easier for our neighbors to stand up or sit down for this regime. We all know there’s a crisis coming that will force all who pay attention to make a choice that could define the rest of their lives.

Will people do it? In most cases, it depends on what they see us doing next.

SEE us doing. That’s the key.

How the less-engaged make up their minds about political matters, Anand Giridharadas observed (based on Anat’s work), is more akin to how they decide to buy pants: What’s everyone else wearing this year? What are normal people like me doing? Not in one-and-done big rallies but every day. Your resistance must be visible and persistent for that to work and give the less engaged permission to join the resistance movement. Calling your senator five days a week is fine, but which of your neighbors sees that?

Plus, if you want people to join your party, throw a better party. We’re out in the streets multiple times a week now. I bring dance music.

A friend pointed to this TikTok by someone going by @logicnliberty. She advocates a unified front by blue-state governors with trifectas. It’s not that they are not already unified, coordinating, and suing. They are. Govs. Gavin Newsom, JB Pritzker, Kathy Hochul are speaking out and holding press conferences. (State AGs too.) But not necessarily as a team. Are they leveraging their trifectas proactively to erect firewalls in their states against Trump’s gutting of the Constitution? They should.

(snip-TikTok video embedded on the page)

Would the press cover it if they did? We are already in the slow civil war Jeff Sharlet described. The blue and the gray meets the blue and the red. Run with it. The press loves controversy. Generate more, blue state governors.

Josh Marshall has been writing about how to leverage the separate sovereignty of the states against Trump. “Strategic depth,” he calls it, from military studies:

There are key areas where Democrats in Congress may have moments of power, the ability to slow a few things down. But to a great degree, the battle is already lost within the federal government until the next election. It’s only in the states where opponents of Donald Trump hold executive power outside the reach of and the hierarchies of the federal government. That’s where the whole game is. It is strategic depth not in extent or remoteness of territory but in the structure of government and the state. And states have vast amounts of power, far more than we tend to realize because we’ve never been in a position where the mundane daily activities of state and local government have become so critical — its taxing powers, its policing powers, the ways in which the federal government actually struggles to effectively extend its powers to the local level at scale without the active participation of local government.

Understanding the critical role of the sovereign powers of the states as a redoubt beyond the reach of Trump’s increasingly autocratic power is really the entire game right now, at least for the next 18 months and, in various measures, almost certainly through the beginning of 2029. People can march, advocate, campaign, donate to candidates, all the stuff. But in many ways the most important thing right now is both communicating to and demanding of state officials that they act on this latent power.

And those actions must be not only public, but in-your-face public. Their actions and yours.

Update: Read it. It’s where your neighbors are.

The human heart hangs on to hope until there’s no other choice. People will not fight back in the ways that will work, until they realize there is no other choice, until the only other choice is their own imprisonment or death, or that of someone they love. For many of us, that moment is already here. But for most of us, it’s not.

* * * * *

Have you fought dicktatorship today?

50501 – Labor Day events
May Day Strong Labor Day Events
No King’s One Million Rising movement
The Resistance Lab
Choose Democracy
Indivisible: A Guide to Democracy on the Brink – Search on Labor Day events near you
You Have Power
Chop Wood, Carry Water
Thirty lonely but beautiful actions
Attending a Protest Surveillance Self-Defense

Josh Johnson Making Sense

A Couple From Clay Jones

Trump-Approved African American History by Clay Jones

Donald Trump wants to make the nation as stupid and racist as he is Read on Substack

On Tuesday, Donald Trump posted on ShitSocial, “The Smithsonian is OUT OF CONTROL, where everything discussed is how horrible our Country is, how bad Slavery was, and how unaccomplished the downtrodden have been — Nothing about Success, nothing about Brightness, nothing about the Future. We are not going to allow this to happen, and I have instructed my attorneys to go through the Museums, and start the exact same process that has been done with Colleges and Universities where tremendous progress has been made.”

That doesn’t sound good. What he’s doing to the universities and the government in his efforts to eliminate “woke” is destroying our institutions, historical culture, and progress in anti-discrimination.

Trump is a champion of discrimination. These edicts he’s sending out daily sound like crap you’d hear from a dictator. Our history is being rewritten by the dumbest kid in the classroom. Even his social media posts prove he’s a moron. Typically, bigots are morons.

Trump is choosing Kennedy Center honorees and trying to influence what universities teach. He’s choosing what information is documented and archived by our military. They’re removing anything that honors gay, Black, Latino, and female. They had a hissy fit over the name “Enola Gay.” They even removed Harvey Milk’s name from a ship.

Trump’s ordering the Smithsonian to get rid of anything that’s “woke.” Naturally, they’re getting rid of whatever they believe is woke because wokeness is a good thing.

(snip-MORE, and it’s very good)

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Heavenly Trump by Clay Jones

Trump’s worried he won’t get into Heaven Read on Substack

I’m not on the talking point that Trump is dying, but he can’t be healthy. We’ve seen photos of Trump with food from McDonald’s, KFC, and even a taco bowl, but when’s the last time you saw a pic of him with a salad? You would think he’d at least do a photo-op with one. I don’t like to wish death on anyone. I think it’s kinda tacky, even for a piece of crap like Trump, and I’m afraid it might bounce back onto me.

A couple of days ago, Trump called into Fox News, because he’s the kind of guy with lots of time on his hands (it’s not like he has an important job or anything), and said his motivation for a peace deal between Russia and Ukraine, other than a Nobel Peace Prize, is to win a spot in Heaven. There’s a LOT to pack in here.

Trump called and said, “I want to try and get to heaven, if possible,” he explained. “I’m hearing I’m not doing well. I am really at the bottom of the totem pole. But if I can get to heaven, this will be one of the reasons.” (snip-MORE, also great)

PS: Suppose South Park is making Trump nervous, with all the Satan in his bed stuff? Also, repealing the OBBB will help him a lot more than meddling in other countries’s business. -A)

More Josh Johnson

Here is a short, which is hilarious. Beneath it is his entire set, posted last night as he did it; it is wonderful! It depends how much time you have. I recommend the longer one, if you can only watch one. The short is contained within the longer one, but won’t spoil anything if you watch it first. Obviously, there is a lot more varied material in the full set. Enjoy!

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Humor From Josh Johnson

I think we’ve posted him here before; he also anchors the Daily Show some. He’s great! This one is hilarious.

Seen The Epstein Files?

Yeah, me, neither. Also! I am not, and never was, a KISS fan. I always thought they were bubble gum. Needless to say, I enjoy Clay Jones’s commentary re KISS!

MAGA KISS by Clay Jones

MAGA can kiss my arse Read on Substack

I’m a KISS fan, to an extent. When I was in the 4th or 5th grade, a friend introduced me to KISS, and I was hooked. I had posters and albums. I wanted to be Ace Frehley and started playing guitar. I was obsessed with KISS. Other than my guitar obsession (I’m still obsessed), all that was over by the time I hit the 8th grade. With a bit more maturity, I had become more interested in not just the current music of the time, like Van Halen, but another friend had introduced me to The Beatles, and I think I discovered the Rolling Stones on my own. I started paying attention to my mom’s music and got into CCR.

A few years later, I was walking through the music department of K-Mart, and saw the album cover for KISS’s latest album, Lick It Up, and learned that they had a couple of replacement members and had taken the makeup off. This was huge news in KISS world, but I was out of the KISS ARMY (that was the fan club) by that point.

And that’s the thing about KISS. Their audience was mostly little boys, such as myself. While KISS looked like a dangerous rock and roll band, at least at the beginning, they had become more of a marketing product than a rock and roll band. In addition to the posters I had, KISS were marketing lunch boxes, action figures, trading cards, bed sheets, pillows, comic books, and even had made a TV movie, KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park, which might be the worst TV movie ever.

KISS may have been serious about their music, but they weren’t taken seriously, which is difficult to obtain when each member is face-painted like a clown. The Insane Clown Posse is probably more respected. And while there are some gems in their catalog, most of their songs actually sucked. KISS chased trends. They started as a rock band striving to be on Led Zeppelin’s level, but they didn’t have the songwriting chops or musicianship, despite Ace Frehley being a badass (when he was sober enough to play on the albums, and didn’t force the band to use a hidden replacement for his lead guitar playing). KISS went from trying to be the next Beatles to producing a disco track, to chasing hair metal in the 80s, to writing songs with Michael Bolton and Bryan Adams, to making a grunge album. Critics didn’t like them, and they never made the cover of Rolling Stone during their prime (but did make it decades later for an article that was mostly retrospective).

They were more noted for their theatrics, fire-breathing, blood-spitting, and smoke pouring out of Frehley’s guitar than for their music.

Most musicians in respected rock bands are invited to play on other artists’ albums, such as Bob Seger, members of Fleetwood Mac, Mike Campbell of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, and every member of The Eagles. Even members of Cheap Trick got invites, and even lured Beatles producer George Martin to produce their albums. But I can’t think of a member of KISS who has ever played on another artist’s album. After leaving KISS, Ace Frehley called John Waite (the Missing You guy) to see if he’d like to start a band with him, and never got a return call. And Ace was the most successful solo artist to come out of the band (though his last album was embarrassing). Peter Criss’ albums are unlistenable.

Gene Simmons was not a good songwriter (sample lyric: “Let me put my log into your fire”), and his bass playing is still mocked today (they often used a hidden replacement, or Paul and Ace would play bass on the songs they wrote). Paul Stanley had an operatic voice (that didn’t have a natural sound), but he tried too hard to show it off, and his guitar playing and songwriting were cheesy. Peter Criss was more of a jazz drummer than a heavy rock guy like John Bonham of Zeppelin, and he had timing issues, but his voice had an amazing sound, especially considering that he was tone deaf. Ace Frehley, who is unfortunately a racist who used to get drunk and bang on his Jewish bandmates’ hotel room doors dressed as a Nazi (really. They used to call him RACE Frehley), inspired millions with his guitar playing, but his skills decreased due to his laziness and addictions. By hiring studio musicians to pretend to be Criss, Frehley, and Simmons on their albums and hiding it from the fans, KISS didn’t even take themselves seriously.

KISS was never a great band. So why are they the first to be honored by Donald Trump since he made himself the head of the Kennedy Center? Because Trump has no culture (ketchup on burnt steaks), and he has the maturity of a 12-year-old boy.

Trump will be hosting the ceremony for these “honors,” which will be interesting. People will probably tune in because folks love a good train wreck.

Each member of KISS expressed how honored and humbled they are for receiving these “honors,” but boys…being “honored” by Donald Trump isn’t really an honor.

That’s another difference between KISS and bands taken seriously. Musicians sue Trump to stop playing their music at his rallies.

And, yes. KISS has a song glorifying pedophilia. Gene Simmons wrote it. I had to adjust the lyrics for space, but those cited in the cartoon say,

“I don’t usually say things like this to girls your age,
But when I saw you coming out of the school that day,
That day I knew, I knew,
I’ve got to have you, I’ve got to have you.”

Even as a kid, I thought it was weird that Gene only saw Christine because he was hanging outside her school. (snip-MORE)

A Little Fun On A Hot Afternoon

I hope everyone is safe and comfortable, or able to get that way. Today I had an appointment in a city about 30 mi. away; I decided that afterward, I was going to stop in at their larger grocery and pick up the stuff on the list, and maybe a few other things. Their prices are a little higher, and there are spaces on the shelves over there. It doesn’t make sense why that is; the gas prices are the same; still under 3.00/gal. Anyway, I had a good trip, am safely home now for the rest of the day, and I ran across this article, which is the fun. Enjoy!

The John Oliver/Dean Cain Feud Is Officially On

Cage match! Cage match!

Matt Solomon

Dean Cain made headlines last week when he hopped on social media to announce that he was taking a break from his busy Hollywood career to become an ICE agent. “For those who don’t know, I am a sworn law enforcement officer as well as being a filmmaker,” he revealed. “I felt it was important to join with our first responders to help secure the safety of all Americans, not just talk about it. So, I joined up.”

Given Cain’s status as a washed-up TV star, the news was ready-made for late-night monologue fodder, and John Oliver didn’t disappoint on his most recent Last Week Tonight. “There’s an old saying in Hollywood,” Oliver began. “If all you can get is Dean Cain, you are fucked.”

Not satisfied after a single punchline, Oliver proceeded to make a meal of the Cain announcement. “I’m not saying that ICE isn’t finding people,” he continued. “I’m just saying when you are reduced to pinning a badge on the 59-year-old star of The Dog Who Saved Christmas, The Dog Who Saved Christmas Vacation, The Dog Who Saved the Holidays, The Dog Who Saved Halloween, The Dog Who Saved Easter and The Dog Who Saved Summer, maybe you are in trouble.”

Are those titles simply funny punchlines about the kinds of movies Cain has been reduced to starring in? Nope — that’s Cain’s actual IMDb.

Are there any positives to Cain becoming an ICE agent? Oliver can think of one: “No need for that guy to wear a mask because the chances of anyone recognizing him are fucking zero.”

Harsh. But it’s not officially beef until the other guy punches back, which is just what Cain did yesterday.

(snip-embedded tweet that won’t embed here but transcribed below)

“He stole that mask joke from the internet,” Cain insisted, trying to score points by pointing out that other people are making fun of him as well.

Oliver “also laughed hysterically when Trump said he was going to run for President. Case closed,” Cain posted, equating Trump’s presidential victories with his own decision to round up day workers at Home Depot.

Finally, Cain defended the honor of The Dog Who Saved Christmas Vacation. “Those movies were sweet, by the way!”

Oliver hasn’t posted on his own X account in 2025, so don’t expect any counterpunches — if any — until the next Last Week Tonight. In the meantime, fans of the burgeoning feud will have to make do with Oliver’s parting shot on his most recent episode. He gave viewers this advice if approached by an ICE agent: “Attorneys told us the only two things you should say to them are: ‘Am I free to leave?’ And ‘I want to speak to a lawyer.’ That’s it. You have the right to remain silent. And I recognize that in some cases, you may be unable to help yourself from saying: ‘Didn’t you used to be Superman? I thought you died.’”

O.T., Also Fun

Cover Snark!

Cover Snark: How Do Legs Work? (Diagrams Included)

(Seriously, go read this. You’ll get great laughs, and the oxygen will be so good for the brain! -A)

Snippet:

Amanda: Does she have to pee?

Claudia: Yes! Also, his left pant leg is missing?

Sarah: Why is the perspective weird? Their legs look so short and their heads are so large?

Okay taking another look, I think the angle of her hip looks too low.

So it looks like her legs are short and her midsection is bizarro long, and her head is sized correctly, just looks out of whack with the leg. (snip-I cannot overstate the gold: go read it! And no drinks over your keyboard… )

Clay Jones, Open Windows

Still grifting after all these years by Ann Telnaes

Trump and his spawn continue making money off the presidency Read on Substack

The Guardian is reporting that World Liberty Financial, co-founded by Don Jr. and Eric Trump, has made the president and his family 500 million dollars so far.

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Dildos and Big Balls by Clay Jones

This entire regime is a dildo Read on Substack

The FBI is now officially politicized. There are reports that Director Kash Patel, who’s not just a joke as director of the FBI (an organization he once said should be destroyed), but also as a human being, has assigned 1,000 agents to comb through the Epstein Files to flag mentions of Donald Trump. Now, he’s sending FBI agents after Texas state Democratic senators who’ve fled to other states so Republicans can’t build a quorum to vote on gerrymandering.

Trump told Texas that he deserves five more congressional seats, just like the time he told Georgia officials that he deserved 11,781 more votes in the 2020 presidential election.

What’s the FBI going to do when it finds a Texas Democrat? They don’t have any more authority than Cartman (respect my authoritah!) to apprehend, arrest, or detain a state senator avoiding a vote. The Democrats haven’t broken any laws. So, for anyone who says the redistricting in Texas isn’t illegal, then neither is avoiding a vote on it. This special session was called to deal with the flood, not to cheat and disenfranchise the voters. It should be illegal to abuse the FBI this way. It should also be illegal to gerrymander to prevent minorities from voting. Oh, wait. IT IS!

And poor Big Balls got beat up by a teenage girl. Edward Coristine, a former DOGE official, was attacked in Washington, DC. Trump and others claim a gang was trying to carjack him. Others claimed a woman was being carjacked, but Big Balls rushed in to save her and got himself attacked for his heroism. My cockles are warming up already. Such a hero…but wait!

Now it turns out, he may have been with the woman already, and his attackers were less of a gang and more like a couple of kids on bicycles. A report from Fox 5 said they attacked Big Balls until cops stepped in. Why are kids attacking a man in front of cops? There’s a lot of this story that does not add up. First up, how do we know Big Balls literally has big balls?

The report says they’re looking for a third guy, and he’s the right skin color for MAGA outrage. (snip-MORE)