There will not be a cartoon / meme / news post tomorrow. I am so sorry people. I tried repeatedly all day to do it. I got called away for one emergency after the other and / or my body simply gave out and I couldn’t sit at the computers because of the pain. Best wishes to all and hugs to those that wish them. A very tired worn out almost done Scottie.
Category: Scotties Rants / Blog Information
My cataracts up date
Hello everyone. I went to see the surgeon. I was hoping he would say I did not need the surgery that there was something else that could fix my vision. It did not work out that way. Let me start from the beginning. We arrived and their computer systems were down and they were way behind because they were handwriting all the patient information and passing paper between stations instead of just accessing the patients chart on the computers.
The tests were very extensive and thorough. When the doctor looked into my eyes and tested them on the machine he had in the room he said that I definitely needed surgery on both eyes. He talked to me about my daily activities, and what I liked doing. He went over each lens choice and said he did not think the more expensive lenses would help me because I had used a prism so long. He recommended the non-corrective lenses. I might not need the prism after the surgery but he thinks there is a chance I will. He also thinks I may need readers but that my other vision well be good.
We had been there three hours when we had one more stop. The finance guy. He had already put the information through Medicare. He gave us print outs for each eye. He showed us the cost. I had roughly figured $880 for my 20% co pay. His figures broke it down to each person involved, the operating center, and the drugs. Everyone got a separate cut. My cost total came to $842.24
The operation takes 10 to 15 minutes for each eye. The surgeon gets 984.99 per eye for a total of $1,969.98. The facility gets $1,158.15 per eye for a total of $2316.30. I pay $842.24 for a total of 5,128.52 which is for maybe up to 30 minutes work if each eye takes the maximum time of 15 minutes. I realize the doctor is a super professional doing a job most people can’t do. I realize the surgical center which is in their building is also a professional medical operating room so has to meet certain requirements. Still I think the cost is a lot of profit. I am reading over the statement and in each case they charged the maximum that Medicare would pay plus my 20%.
I am one of the lucky ones. I have Medicare. We have enough in savings to pay for the co-pay. But what about those who don’t have insurance and are working several jobs with no medical care. What about the poor people who depend on Medicaid but are soon going to lose it? Do they just slowly go blind with no hope? We need medical care in this country. We need universal medical coverage. Every study has shown, even the one done by the conservative heritage foundation study showed it is cheaper with better results to have single payer government universal care. As Bernie says, the US is the only wealthy country on earth not to give the people living here health coverage. It is a human right. Hugs
I am going for my first evaluation with the surgeon for my cataracts
I knew there would be a cost for the corrective lenses. I figured it would be a few hundred dollars on top of what Medicare paid for the surgery. I was way wrong. I got the pricing in my patient package. Crap. I guess I will be getting the noncorrective Medicare paid for lenses. I know several of you wrote that the normal lens provided by Medicare worked really well and corrected much of your vision problems. I guess I will find out. Hugs
An update on my eye sight
I want to thank everyone that encouraged me to go forward with what is to me a scary operation. I love everyone that wrote / called me to tell me their stories. I had my second appointment with the eye doctor. Even with the prism that took some of the fussy out of the letters I was seeing the best they could do for me was 20/70. I have no idea of what that means but she asked if I was driving and I replied yes which seemed to upset the doctor. The office is wonderful and very LGBTQ+ affirmative and they included and joked with us totally comfortably. I had to laugh when the doctor asked the eye person to get his husband and she went out and told Ron he had been summoned.
It seems she feels I need to have the surgery to see. She is unsure if they will do both eyes but feels they will. She explained what she felt would be our costs, and what would happen to my eyesight if we did not go forward. Ron told them about how high the magnification is on my monitors and how he has to try to step back to read everything smoothly. He told them it was unacceptable my sight would get any worse and I would lose the ability to do what I love, be on the computer with all of you.
So they set up an appointment with the eye surgeon. I was shocked at how fast it was happening. I figured I would have a couple of months, but the appointment is for next Monday. Ok I know everyone has told me how great their experience was but … I admit to being scared. My eyes are so important to me and how I live my life. I could give many organs but if I lose my sight my life as I love it is over.
The eye doctor is a wonderful older lady who was concerned about the costs for us and Ron told her we would manage that it was important enough. She cautioned us not to be dragged into expensive things I man not need as most people getting the normal corrective lens were more than satisfied and had good vision. She warned that the market was in convincing us to pay for “Upgraded corrective lenses” that I may not need or could be avoided with a cheap pair of reader glasses.
I have to admit she was far different from the big business eye place Ron and I went to several years ago. I was not yet 62 so they told me as soon as I was I needed to see them to have the cataracts removed. Ron was already over that age for Medicare to pay for it and they pushed him hard to have the surgery. His eyesight was far better and less cloudy than mine. They just wanted the money from Medicare. Plus after my exam they took me to their glasses section. After picking out what I thought was a pair of reasonably priced frames they totaled up my new glasses … at $1,400.00
I looked at Ron, we had never paid that for any glasses. I told them I needed to think on it and never went back. The only issue I have is do I pay extra for the “corrective lenses”? If anyone could leave me a message on their experience either way, I would be so grateful. Ron was such a cheerleader for me after we left the eye doctor’s office saying how he felt this would be so good for me and make what I love doing on the computer so easy. I wish I felt as confidant as he does. Hugs
My day and cooking to feel better
As some may already know I have been struggling recently. Hopefully soon things will get better. But some of the problems are my eyesight, Ron being in NH, the van has a tire that is leaking air badly, other issues like the house renovations leaving the bathrooms torn up and two rooms unusable, also I am hurting, tired, and I noticed recently I was getting depressed over everything.
Yesterday I had an appointment with my pain doctor. I have to by Florida law see them every two months. It used to be 3 months but the people in the state legislature felt poor people needed pain help should pay for more frequent visits and jump through ever stringent and needless requirements. I filled the tire with air, went to the appointment, my back muscles were so spasmed that I needed 12 shoots into the muscles on both sides of my spine from my shoulders down to my butt cheeks. The muscles were so hard the provider struggled to get the needle in and each shot hurt a lot.
I left the office and had to fill the tire with air. It had gone from 36 psi to 20. Thankfully I took the small battery operated compressor with me. But lifting it from the passenger side of the van then carrying it to the driver’s front tire, kneeling to fill the tire, then carrying it back was enough to cause me so much pain I was crying. I drove went quickly to the store next to our home, got the stuff to make the sauce, and drove home. I again had to fill the tire back to 36.
I was so down I sat here in my Pink Palace office and broke down. Then after a while I decided I needed to break these feelings so I dried my eyes and started to cook. I made short videos of it as I went along. I had no plan for the recordings and just stumbled my way through them. I knew that I had to keep them short as before I tried to email them to WordPress and they were too large of a file. But I figured out I can hook my phone to my computer and transfer the files to the computer and then to WordPress. So the videos are not great, I made verbal mistakes and I repeated some of the same things I already said without realizing it. I start out rather shaky, but as I went along I felt a lot better. The sauce came out great. I used the rest of the peppers and the celery, but did not add more onion. Not a fan of strong onion flavor. So I combined them into a short video to post here.
My plan this morning is to go for a walk, fill the tire go to the vet and get the cat medications, come home and rest / blog. Tomorrow I will take the van to a nearby tire shop and see what the issue is with the tire. Thanks for reading and maybe watching the video. As always comments are welcome. I wish I could share the sauce. I sure made enough. Hugs
Wednesdays’ political cartoons / memes / and news articles I want to share.
Later today I will post three updates. Kamyk is doing much better, Ron leaves for NH today, and I am facing the eye doctor not being able to clear up my sight. Possible cataract surgery time. More details later. Hugs
Wow I am so glad I listened … sort of. I guess I screwed up some. I will do better from now on.
So I read all the advice on my stepper work out post. I did listen … sort of. I wish right now I had listened to the advice better. Several people said to do 2 minutes and then 12 hours later or the next day to do 2 minutes more.
Today was the day I wanted to do legs, tomorrow will be arms with light weights, as Sunday is the day for heavy ones. So I did two minutes like people advised. I waited 30 minutes and did not feel any issues, so I did another 2 minutes. Then I sat down at my desk and sharpened the house knives. It took a while. Then I made supper in the deep frier of breaded chicken strips and french fries. By the time I got halfway through frying the food, I was struggling to bend my legs as my thighs felt like tree trunks. I did not tell Ron as I put the food away and came into my office. I had already taken my evening morphines, muscle relaxers, and 800 mg Ibuprofen. And my legs still hurt. They ache.
I am sitting at my desk and my legs feel like they can’t fit inside my pant legs. As I sit they are better bent as if I stretch them out it hurts more.
Ok I goofed, you all can say I told you so. I thought since the first two minutes did not seem to cause pain I could do another 2 minutes. I know it was suggested at least 12 hours before doing more. I can clearly see I will have to do that at least if not wait longer. I guess I want to get healthier faster and I can see there is not going to be a shortcut with this. This is going to take far longer than even I had thought it would.
So I will wait two days, then do 2 minutes on the stepper then put it away for the next couple of days. Then do two more minutes. As several said and Ten Bears reminded me he had advised me about before, this is a slow process that I can not make go at the speed I would wish it to. Not and do it correctly and keep from being in pain. I just took a 15 mg instant morphine my legs hurt so bad. Ok I fucked up … again. But I just wanted my leg muscles to fill out again so I can walk and do stuff. Hugs
Hair during childhood
I have very few photos of me as a child. I only have these few. I wish I had more. I did have a small book given to me by someone who knew my adopting adults but hurricane Ian took them from me and I did not have them saved digitally. Notice that until I was 17 and in the church boarding school was I allowed to have long hair. Hair was used as a way to set me apart from other kids, to reenforce the idea that I was less than the others, I was the one to be hurt and used. As I have mentioned while the other kids could have their hair the current style I was required to have my hair as short as possible. When I was young my adopting father cut it himself and would often leave bald spots and make it as ugly as possible. Hugs
Me at 7 months
These two pictures below I do not know how old I am, but again notice the hair. In the top picture we are at the large farm my grandparents owned. It was a place the entire family gathered at holidays. I was happy to be outside because inside the big farm house with a dozen bedrooms I was constantly being raped or made to please “my” siblings, cousins, and uncles. Even at that age of 4 or 5 I was no stranger to the emotional, physical, and sexual abuse that started at age 3. The clothing was always decent when we were there, to be taken from me once we left. At the farm house I had food to eat when hungry, and grandmother was always talking to me, hugging me, and just letting me stay near her. No one yelled at me even though I was scared of some of the adult men. But when we left the good times stopped and the abuse began.
The lower one I think was taken after we have had moved to the small cow town to evade the abuse charges against the adults. I think this might have been my second grade school photo. By now the light was going from my eyes and I learned not to talk. I simply looked at everyone as possibly the next one I would have to “make happy” or perform for. It was now happening at school, by the one of the town police officers, and of course at home. My siblings would drug me and take me to parties or simply have them at the house we lived in and I would be a party favor. 
In this picture below I am about 11 or 12. I am about to go to be taken somewhere to some event to be displayed. I think it might have been to church where for a while the adopting adult female and her daughters were going to hopefully to buy their way past their guilts. The pastor there was regularly abusing me, I have talked about that before. I was grateful he only wanted to play with my nude body or have me suck him, never put something in my butt as normally I would have been raped at least once before getting ready for church. By now I had no fight left in me. Notice the always long sleeves to cover the marks and bruises and the long pants to cover the welts and marks. Again notice the short hair at a time when longer flowing hair was being worn by boys my age in school. This would have been in the early 1970s. By now at this age I had accepted I was a toy to be used or displayed, moved and directed by them. I had no agency, no authority, no say in my life. My retreat was in my head, the place I lived, the dreams and stories I told myself that no one else could hear. 
Below is me at 18 at the church boarding school. This is the first time in my life I was allowed to grow my hair out. The adopting adults hated it. The adopting adult female constantly bitching and insulting me over. At this point the adopting male refused to speak to me or be in any room I was in if I had to be at their home during the school year. I tried to remain at the school as much as possible.
Below is me at age 23 or early 24 when I had just gotten out of the military. I had already started to let my hair grow over my ears. This was the way I kept my hair most of my life just longer on the sides and back. Parted on the left and swept to the right. Hugs
This is me at age 23 or early 24 when I had just gotten out of the military. I had already started to let my hair grow over my ears. This was the way I kept my hair most of my life just longer on the sides and back. Parted on the left and swept to the right. Hugs
Last pictures of me bald
Recently I shaved my head due to frustration managing my hair. But Ron told me a few days ago that he did not like the bald look and would really like me to grow my hair back. So these are the last pictures I took of me bald. Hugs
New punishment device, a stepper thingy. I could use your advice.
So below I will add the pictures of the torture device my husband insisted I needed. We have not been walking like we used to. There seems to always be a reason why but my husband worries about how thin my legs have gotten and that I have started to have swollen ankles and feet sitting at my desk so much. So
we got this device.
Now comes the punishment part. The first time I tried it I did 3 sets of 5 minutes of stepping, rested 10 minutes between sets. Two or three hours later as I was doing the dishes my legs started to really hurt and get stiff. I couldn’t bend my legs. My thighs were swollen. I was in agony so bad I couldn’t finish the dishes. I have not used it since. Can anyone tell me the proper amount of time to use it and how many minutes to rest between and how many sets to do. Thanks. I do want to get healthy and build back up my legs that have atrophied but I don’t want to die doing it. Hugs
Scottie's Playtime 