Category: Food

Let me explain the lack of posts, and I do feel bad about it.

Since Ron came home we have been very intuned with each other.  Each of us trying to give the other space and as much positive interaction as possible.  Yet I started to get irritable and Ron was noticing so I apologized this morning.  This morning is important, but let’s get back to that.    

Ron needs interaction and attention.  Plus I have gone back to making meals and making sure he eats.  That takes two hours out of my morning at least, but even more when I tell you what happened this morning.    

I got up at five, fed the cat who clings to me even though he is Ron’s cat.  I settled down to “work” putting together the cartoon / meme / news roundup that has not gone out in recent days.   Then Ron surprised me.  He got up early at 6:30 am.  OK.  

TMI to come.  

It is my birthday and knowing how sexual I am he appeared at my office door offering sexual relations.  One of the issues Ron had with the effects of the libido killing medication is he felt pressured some times to meet my needs when he really did not want to or feel it.   I had made a promise to not put such pressure on him when we talked about it when he got home at the same time he was trying to tell me he realized how important it was and wanted to work to be more sexual and he was starting to feel more sexual desire as the medications worked out of his system.  But when he appeared with his grand offer I had to gently tell him I felt that because today was my birthday he would feel pressured to offer me favors.  I did not want him to feel that pressure and because I am hypersexual … Again TMI… I masturbated in my office to porn before he got up… Twice.  When I explained that to him at first he seemed surprised and then I got the reaction I wanted when I explained it.  He blossomed and lite up understanding I was respecting him.  

Then I went back to my posting and and for the next three hours Ron kept coming to my door to talk to me, to ask my opinion on this or that or could I go with him to another part of the house to talk about something.  I guess I started to show irritation because Ron suddenly said this will be the last time I bother you.  

But this is what has been happening since he has been home.  He doesn’t seem to understand I need time and ability to do the posts.  I need to understand he needs and wants my interactions.  I try to divert him to his own projects but he is not easy to divert.   

OK one of the reasons I voluntarily went to therapy was I was lashing out at Ron in irritation of everything.  I have PTSD and according to the therapist, I am OCD.  I use the OCD to try to manage my PTSD.  So when Ron is being himself and is not ordered, not picked up, not… well Ron is a old never reformed youngest child frat boy.  He leaves everything where he last used, he folds towels like if he just gets it somewhat near a shape he can push it on the shelf, or he will root for a towel leaving the rest looking like a possum made a nest of them.  He will leave his socks on what ever surface in the livingroom he takes them off near.  His shoes are all over the house I trip over them.  The end of last year I was exploding and very angry.  I went to therapy.    

Before I saw “Sally Sunshine” I had already figured out the problem and the solution.  I have lived with Ron for 36 years.  I knew and accepted what he was in the first few months.  I thought over the years I could change him but over the last year I was lashing out at him for these things and he was getting very defensive and withdrawing from me.  I realized the truth before I ever saw the therapist, and she was shocked I figured this out.  

The problem was not Ron nor his actions which he always apologized for and said he would correct.  The problem was my reaction to it and how I was letting my irritation build to massive anger.   I got to the point when the towel shelves were messed up I would angrily demand he come back down to the bedroom and refold every towel.  He would do it but he was hurt.  Once I steped back from it all then realized something important.  He was hurt!

Before I went to therapy I realized the simple truth of the situation.  If it bothered me so much I could simply correct it myself.  Why humiliate him and make him feel bad for something he couldn’t help as it was ingrained in him and he couldn’t stop it anymore than I could stop the nightmares at night that leave me screaming that he tries to save me from?  I vowed to change and I did.  Now when the towels are rooted through I simply take them out and refold them my self like I want them to be.  That is what I should have done from the start.  I love him.

Back to this morning.  While he was standing there nude in my office doorway I went to him and hugged him.  I apologized for my irritability the last few days and told him it was wrong of me.  I also told him it was OK for him to call me out on it if I get acting irritable with him again.   Boy did he put that to the test this morning with three hours of needing / wanting my attention.  But it worked out.  I gave him the attention he wanted.

This afternoon he went out.  Did I mention it is my birthday?  He came back with two big steaks, something I have always loved but on our income have not had in nearly a year.  He also had flowers he arranged and put in a vase.  He got all the things I might like such as baking potatoes and the fixing for them.  He had gone out for prime rib but he couldn’t find it, his other choice was to take me out, but sadly I have gotten to dislike leaving my home.  I know I need to change that but even as I offered to go out Ron realized I wouldn’t enjoy it.  I only leave the house now for doctor’s appointments or to accompany him on large shopping trips.  I have developed an anxiety about leaving the house just like I have for voice conversations on the phone.

So Ron is making a large birthday meal complete…

So Ron called me to eat.  He had set up the folding table we use as a dining room table while the remodeling is going on.  He had a vase of flowers and our plates of steak and spiral potatoes.  I could see he was frustrated as he apologized he never got the broccoli with cheese sauce done.  It was a good meal, everything was tasty and good.  I ate my fill of decent steak something I have not had in a long time and Ron cooked them on the grill.  It was wonderful.  

I did ask him what he wanted for his upcoming 71st birthday, and he suggested several things not available in our area that he got in Texas.  But then he said he would think on it.  What ever makes him happy I will do.  

But I had started tomorrow’s cartoons / memes / and news roundup but it is late here after 7 pm, and I am wearing down.  By this time normally I am thinking of bed and to tell the truth I am now.  I will try to do a bit more and get up at 4 am to get it out at a resonable tiime.  Just letting everyone know why posts have been sporadic and not timely.  Thanks in advance for your understanding.   This is our 36th year together and I am not going to jeopardize our relationship.  But I have to get him to find a balance.   I need to find a balance as well.  Hugs

Taxpayer money used as a personal slush fund. The entire corrupt administration acts like the money is bottomless and they can buy what ever they want with it.

Think of all the public safety nets we have lost this year.  Slashing Medicare for the poor, cutting the ACA subsidies, ending food programs for poor kids, and ending heating assistance for the elderly.  We also lost funding for education.  Noem before she got fired ordered three planes for her personal use inclusing a luxury jet with a bar and bed. Hugs

 

https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/810734665292972032/pete-hegseth-blew-billions-on-fruit-basket-stands

“The Goal Is Torture”

This caller is a well know immegration lawyer who calls in often.  There has been a long running joke about the buttons on Sam’s shirts so ignore that part.  The lawyer talks about what ICE is doing to help the detained people and he describes how horrific the conditions are.  The goal is to make it so horrific these people will self-deport willingly.  But the government is doing everything possible to hurt and harm the immigrants and detained people because of hate and bigotry of ICE and the white supremacists in the US government.  Hugs

Lay Lines, As Requested

https://www.gocomics.com/lay-lines/2026/03/09

Well change of supper plans and I am OK with it.

Hi every wonderful person who comes here.  If you read my last post you might have noticed that Ron and I talk over what to cook for supper.  Tonight we were going to eat up the few left overs and we got talking of what I wanted to cook tomorrow.  I was planning to get the fryer out and then do french fries and deep fried chicken patties.   Ron had already bought a bunch of cheese slices because he was thinking of me making another red tomato sauce to have chicken parmesan with spaghetti.  But I suggested today doing the french fries and chicken patties with putting cheese on them while they were hot out of the fryer, and that way I wouldn’t have to make another red sauce, but we could have the thing Ron suggested later.  He thought about it and he loves the idea.  So I am off to cook supper.  Making both my husband and me happy. Does this make me a traditional wife or just a happy partner in a same sex relationship?  I don’t care really either way.  It makes Ron really happy and he makes me really happy.  Isn’t that what it is to be about?  Hugs

This is our Tupac

Tupac was hurt and struggled to survive for so long with no home.  When Ron and I first met him and the other cat he was barely hanging on. I was getting up at 2 or 3 am and feeding them both them.  They were ravenous.   They got so little food they scarfed down what they could get.  The female was feral, but Tupac had been an inside cat and slowly moved into being inside.  During the hurricane Ian James got Tupac in and he stayed inside, but she did not.  We don’t know what happened to her, but Ron adopted Tupac then, renamed him and we paid for his vet bills. And both Ron and I let the neighborhood know he was now our cat and anything dealing with him needed to go through us.  The costs have been a lot, but he has filled out, he has been given back a chance at life, and he loves us so.  And even though I keep telling everyone he is Ron’s cat I am the one that dotes on him and who he snuggles with in the bed at night.  But make no mistake, Ron wanted him, Ron insisted, Ron named him, he is Ron’s cat.  Who just happens to lie purring quietly on my arm in the bed at night. But he still wakes up at between 3 and 4 and cries out to me for food.   You can guess what I do.   When I get back to bed Ron is he had been awakened will say , I would have done that if you wanted.   But he can sleep through Tupac’s cries for food and I cannot.  So I do it.  Hugs

 

For the wonderful people worried about my health / happiness especially since I wrote about being triggered. TLDR version I am so happy

Hi everyone.  I really am so grateful for all of you and the support that you give me and others here.  After I posted about the trigger event I think an important part got missed and today with all going on my wonderful husband offered to help me finish the dishes I was doing even though I knew he wanted to get on to other things.  So I want to share this post with all of you.  

I am happier than I can remember being in a long time.  

For starters the triggering event was because Ron my husband who struggles to have the sexual desire I do was offering happily for us to … well have sex.  But he was so wonderful with the way he handled it and when he got back up and made sure I was OK, he offered again.  I said later.  

Ron got home on the evening of the 2nd of March.  Since then he has watched carefully to make sure I was not harming myself by taking on too much, instead softly forcing me to rest as he took over.  On the personal side he has made it a daily routine and returned to the old normal of touching each other during the day and giving kisses and hugs.  If he sees me struggling he intervenes right away.  

But it goes both ways.  Ron loves my cooking and with him home I have really been doing my best and in fact loving it.  It gets to hurt so bad sitting in my desk chair and when we talk about what’s for supper and I provide a suggestion he asks if I would like to do it and I really want to.   He does the chopping of vegetables and meats and I do the cooking / seasoning and set up the serving area.  

Remember how I grew up.  When I went out on my own I had no cooking skill at all.  When Ron moved into my home I had eggs and hot dogs in the refrigerator.  I simply had no clue how to make food.  Ron first made food I fell in love with and started teaching me seasonings.  I took to it like a fish to water and now he lets me take the lead on joint meal projects.   And that is what the meals are, we work together on the idea and what we would like the outcome to be.   He does any chopping because my eye sight is so bad and I have cut my self so badly at times.  But then he lets me do my thing and comes to taste or add suggestions as I ask.  He always does the cleanup as he understands how tired I am by then.  

But it is more than meals.  At night I struggle to sleep, and Tupac presses as hard to me as he can most of the time.  Ron will reach out and touch me on the shoulder, arm, or back just to let me know he is there.  If he knows or thinks I am struggling he will talk to me.  If he knows I am awake he will ask if we can cuddle some more.  I so love that but the issue there is Tupac.  During the three months Ron was gone Tupac got very attached to me.  He sleeps as close to me as he can get often laying his head on my folded arm.  Ron says as long as I am able to sleep like that Tupac will stay asleep right there.  If I shift he will move lower towards my belly and again push against me.  If he doesn’t have paws touching me or himself he will lie with his head pointed at me and looking either up or down and his tail to Ron.  

The few times I have moved him and set his stuff up so he was on the other side of us so Ron and I could cuddle he got very upset.  So now I only do it if I have responded to his middle of the night need for food and while he is gone change the places of his sleep towels and blanket.  He still doesn’t like it.  The first night we did it in the morning Ron went to pet him and Tupac swatted at him.

I am sorry this is rambling, I guess I did not do a good job ordering my thoughts.  I am just so happy which is an emotion I so rarely get to enjoy I wanted to share it all with everyone.  Things seem so good, clear, wonderful, and grand, and Ron and I are more in tune with each other than we have been in a long time.  They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.  I don’t know, but the way he looks at me, the way his arms encircle me, and the way he gives me quick kisses are like it was half a decade ago and so wonderful. My body responds to him like in the old days and he enjoys it.  That is new and I love it.  

As for the bad events / the vortex.  It has not been as bad since Ron has been home.  I have had minor ones and have retreated to my “pink palace office” to cry quietly and try to deal.  But the horrid nightmares reliving the events of my past have not happened since he came home.  I have not needed to desperately cry out for help or in pain as I relive the things done to me.   I know they will, but I also know he will be there.  Listening and ready to help me face the demons and hurts that I will never totally make go away.  I have noticed he is careful to not overload me mentally, emotionally, or physically.  He will often tell me it is time for a break or that he would like to take over, or his favorite trick… I need a break do you mind if we rest for a while?  I know he is doing it for me.  But it still is grand.   OK I don’t have a real ending here other than he just came into the office as I was writing this , leaned over me and gave me a kiss.  I asked if he needed help with anything and his reply was not yet, I will let you know when.  Maybe just possibly what they say about love is true, it can heal the wounds if you let it.  Just know that now I am so very happy an emotion I have not felt in a long time.   Hugs

Trump’s Private UN Is A Total Con

Again trying to stay well and healthy I had breakfast and at 3:24 just finished supper. Here is the sandwiches I made and ate

Here are the ingrediance I like in my sandwich tonight.

 

I start with heating the meats as I dislike cold foods.  I then put the bread slices for two sandwiches on the plate and apply mustard to them.  

Then the bread slices for the bottom which I put mustard on.  

Then I add the first layer of meats.

Then the lettuce, which gives it a crunch.

Then the other meats. 

Then more mustard on the top of the last meats.  

Then the last of the bread and the cutting of the sandwiches.  I like my slice on an angle. 

And that is my supper tonight.  I doubt I will eat again.  But at least I ate.  Now I am exhausted but want to stay up.  It is not yet 4 pm here but I was up at 2 am because of Tupac and then I couldn’t get back to sleep finally fell asleep at 5:30 but woke at 6 after a nightmare and knew I wouldn’t be going to sleep again that morning.  Hugs