A post I dont want to make but something is wrong with me.

So yesterday I posted about being disconnected from reality. I am sorry I did not get to any comments today I will do it tomorrow I promise. Last night I tossed and turned and got up and simply walked the house. I did not have a plan nor go online. I simply paced every room in the house mindlessly. Let me explain it is worse than that.

I went to bed feeling exhausted, too tired to stay up, after making sure the cat got his medications and food, and then after an hour I was awake. I tried every mind trick to keep my emotions at bay but nothing was working and I couldn’t sleep. But then something strange happened, not normal to me.

I got up and went to the computers … and couldn’t focus on them. I did not put ear buds in to listen to anything. It was like my mind shut down and my body was on autopilot. For hours I walked the house, room to room to room. At 2:30 am my time Ron texted me a bit worried I had not responded to his texts, but I did not respond, I just paced around the house. It would have been normal for me if I had had my ear buds in and sounds in my head, but I did not. I simply walked the house and every room in it over and over and over again for several hours. Then I sat at the computer, tried to do something, gave up and went to bed. As close as I can figure I got two or maybe three hours of sleep.

But the lack of sleep is not the point. What was happening in my mind that caused me to walk like that? I normally cannot go 20 seconds or more without exsternal imput into my mind. But last night I had none of that and I don’t know why. Looking back it was like I was possessed. When I got up I knew I did it, but not why. My mind was blank.

Ron has often in the last decade forced me awake because I was crying out or struggling in my sleep. Some of those he said sounded so strangled like I was trying to cry out while my throat was being closed off. Ron was not here last night. I was alone. My queston is did my mind force me out of the bed and walk because there was no other way to help me from what I was remembering in my sleep?

All day today I have been off trying to get my normal posts done. I have failed. No other way to put it, I am failing at my posting job. But I would love to hear what you guys think happened to me last night. Because it is terrifying if I am just going to mind shut down and walk around. What else might I do? Hugs

ICE Worker Leaks Concentration Camp Ghoulish Conditions

The conditions are on purpose to make people so miserable they give up their rights to asylum or any cases they have going. The ICE people / US government are already violating the rights of the people they kidnap off the streets. These are as bad as any concentration camp and the US government denies it all. When Democrats take power / authority back we need to investigate and punish all involved. The government flat out lies and gaslights the public as if they think nothing will ever be found out. Hugs

“New Era Of Depravity”: AOC Rips Trump’s Cuba Blockade

In Regard To Scottie’s Search:

c’mon, everyone, Scottie can draw that toon! Cheer him on, and join him-draw one of your own! 🧑‍🎨

Make Your Own Comics

Exercises for the Classroom

Grant Snider

1. Start with a character

Will your character be an avatar of yourself? A plucky young heroine? A grizzled space pirate? A robot with feelings? Design your character with simple shapes that can easily be repeated from panel to panel. Put them in different poses, draw them far away and up close, from various views. Once the character starts moving on their own, you have the start of a story.

2. Journey from panel to panel

Draw the action from left to right, top to bottom across the page. The space between panels is called the gutter. In the gutter, time passes. This amount of time can be a millisecond (a character blinks) or an eon (a star collapses). Use small changes in expression and pose to show what the character is thinking and feeling. Add thought balloons and text bubbles for dialogue.

3. Create new characters

Make each character distinct in shape and personality. Let their form dictate their behavior and action. How do they complement or oppose the main character? What new direction can they take the story?

4. How does it end?

(Snip-this is a pretty long post with the art, so I’m snipping here. I wanted to leave the art big enough to be seen fairly clearly. We will know how our own toons end! Also, though I don’t recall thinking about it when I found this substack, no doubt there was subconscious inspiration from Michael Seidel’s blog. I read it over lunch.)

I feel detached from reality

This morning I had an MRI on my lower back. It all went well and was quick. The reason for it is my right leg feels as if it is being tased and it makes it difficult and challenging to stand on the leg. I took an extra dose of instant morphine and a muscle relaxer before the MRI, as those tend to be very painful for me to lie on the table in one position for that length of time.

Since I got home I have felt more and more disconnected from reality My pain levels in my back have increased so I struggle to sit in my desk chair and have had to take even more more pain relievers of all kinds. But I still struggle, I am feeling lost like debrie in the wind of a storm. Ron has contacted me three times to forcefully tell me he loves me. But I feel lost, ungrounded, I find myself relieaziing I am simply staring into space or have not heard a word of what is playing on the video computer.

Plus, Sam Seder is talking to someone about the abuse of Palestinians in Gaza such as how their lands are being torn from them and they are being terrorized, yet I find I am not registering large parts of the video. I simply am missing large segments of the video and have to rewind to watch so much of it again. I am zoning out. I have seriously thought of going to bed. So much pain and abuse toward people who have no way to fight back or protect themselves. If I let my mind focus I am instantly thrown back to my own childhood situation as a child unable to fight back against all the abuse from much more powerful people who seemed to have all the authority behind them.

But it is more than the normal remember, be very upset, cry, sob, and try to find a way to deal. Currently I simply am lost like I am moving in slow motion as I struggle to focus on what I need to do. I feel like I am on go …

I just realized that for some time, I am not sure how long I have had my head down on my folded arms on my desk. I was not crying, I was not sleeping, I simply checked out. This seems much scarier than when I sob and cry out of control. For an unknown part of time I just checked out of reality. This is not normal. I am going to go lie down for a few minutes. Hugs

I went to lie down. I had texted Ron with my situation. I was just lying there not thinking, no intrusive thoughts which is strange enough, just checked out when he called all upset. He offered to start for home right away. I explained to him that was not needed. I am not feeling upset. Just lost. Just like I don’t comprehend what is happening within my eye sight and hearing. My mind was not registering what the inputs were. I admit it feels a bit like when I had my stroke, everything stopped making sense for a while. Anyway while I was laying down the medication started working and I feel a bit more connected to reality. I am not writing this to upset or concern anyone but to try to explain what is happening to me in my life. Thank you for letting me have a place to explain my feelings and for all of you who are willing to listen. I appreciate it, it means a lot to me. I can’t explain how important it is for me to have this space to exspress my feelings / life and know the people reading care about me. Hugs.

I need your help looking up a meme / cartoon story.

Hello everyone. I am looking for a meme / cartoon story I had a few years ago and can’t find again. It is of a kid going out in the morning with a sign hanging from their neck down to their chest. The sign said something like I am good and I am happy. Then through the day every insult and attack on the kid tore pieces of the sign off so when the kid got home the sign was destroyed being just a bit of what they started out with. I really want to find it again but every search I try to do fails to give me what I am looking for. Thanks. Hugs

ICE held a person with a valid work permit. Held for five months with no criminal record.

https://www.tumblr.com/pscottm/808088536289050624/kilkenny-man-with-valid-us-work-permit-held-by-ice

Stuff I Saw During My Jogs

Friday and Saturday. Enjoy while taking a break from the big game, or just enjoy whenever!

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http://youtube.com/post/UgkxYHx582PD9x35cjaAklWR1b99_pZOTHRm?si=eq76y1PWoI8ySXkx
WeRateDogs 1 day ago Javier, our CEO, wanted to check in with everybody. He hopes you’re doing alright. If not, you’re welcome to take a few deep breaths with him and think of something you’re looking forward to. Javi is looking forward to the Bad Bunny halftime show ❤️

http://youtube.com/post/UgkxIK9nsJmpxmiip5xhUxcnR-XGOkU2NcCX?si=atK_jV3EhVi8dcPO

Randy Rainbow 6 days ago Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, predicting new videos coming this month… 💌🎶💖

http://youtube.com/post/UgkxmbD6u_T-UhBr1nwyqHjmqIWfPeVpavN2?si=Mymur9qFx0pA_6W6

http://youtube.com/post/UgkxpQ37vRwpotd2SoNyrV2HG4KLmx9EEQ0-?si=q8RF6NfuiNw0t99K

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Dance Party!

And a simple quote:

“Dogs smell time. The past is underfoot; the odors of yesterday have come to rest on the ground.”

Alexandra Horowitz

Responding to Speaker Mike Johnson

Female Model Kicked Out of Bathroom For ‘Looking Trans’

This was predicted as what was going to happen every where these bathroom laws are put in place. Because it all comes down to enforcing cis gender steriotypes which a large part of the public doesn’t fit into neatly. Some women are more masculine looking / acting than the sexiest males can accept, and some men are more feminine looking / acting than some people figure “real” men are like. The fact is very few fit the stereotypes pushed by TV / media. This is especially true of younger people who did not buy into the old craze of buff muscular men and slinky sexy women. They accept their bodies and enjoy who they are. The fake concern for women that hate groups like TERFs and religious groups pushing their version of church doctrine on everyone else is simply bigotry being disguised. These bathroom laws help no one, protect no one, and harm a lot of cis and trans people. Hugs