That was supposed to say “Hello, friend” but I fucked it up and I’m leaving it because it feels equally fitting. Maybe you, like me, are in the darkness right now and are just trying to get by until the light comes back. It will. I promise. Between the weather, tricksy brains and (motions wildly to everything) all of the traumatic bullshit going on in the world right now, your body is just acting the way it probably should and you need to take care of it and be gentle to yourself.
This week I was planning on getting organized but then a depression hit me and I found myself staring at the blank gridded planner I’d bought because SURELY THIS ONE WILL FIX ME but then it didn’t fix me and so instead of outlining all of the stuff I’m behind on I instead screamed into the internet for bit, donated to several important causes, amplified what I could and then I turned off my phone and found myself doodling on the planner because my brain was just not going to be able to work the way I needed it to.
Each line counted off a moment. A sort of meditation.
I didn’t even have the bandwidth to find my sketch book so I just kept drawing, using the strange grids to find my way, and knowing each mindless pattern would get me closer to the other side, when I’d have the energy to be human again.
Dorothy Barker helped.
I’m using the word “helped” lightly.
And each doodle got me through a bad hour.
The terrible messy ones I drew when my hands shook from anger or anxiety.
And the calmer ones I drew in the quiet, small hours of the night when I needed to remember that there is peace and light out there even if we can’t always see it.
I drew and drew and dropped each picture onto the floor where the cats could lay on them and contemplate why I still wasn’t in bed yet.
And as of today I have not gotten anything organized at all and my planner is a mess of pointless drawings. Except (I remind myself) they’re not pointless at all, if you look at them with the right eyes.
“I am not good at planning. Or organizing. Or calculations. Or any of the things this ledger is supposed to be for. But I am quite good at silly little doodles. And that is worthwhile too.”
So this is just my little reminder to you…find joy…create…don’t be afraid to use a ledger as an easel or a dog as a paperweight or this letter as a hug. It’s okay if all you are doing right now is surviving. That is sometimes one of the hardest things you will do.
ICE is a white supremacy white nationlist / Christian nationalist group that is driven to remove nonwhite people and non-Christian people from the country. They are driven by hate and malice. They are former / current gang thugs that live to terrorize those they disagree with or hate. In their minds might makes right and so they always go around in packs picking on easy prey. Hugs
U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) is investigating allegations that agents left “racist death cards” in the vehicles of detained individuals.
“ICE is investigating this situation but unequivocally condemns this type of action and/or officer conduct. Once notified, ICE supervisors acted swiftly to address the issue,” a Department of Homeland Security (DHS) spokesperson wrote in a statement to Newsweek. “The ICE Office of Professional Responsibility will conduct a thorough investigation and will take appropriate and swift action.”
Why It Matters
ICE is facing growing scrutiny over its tactics amid President Donald Trump’s ramped up immigration enforcement. Support for the agency has dwindled in recent weeks—a recent YouGov poll found Americans are split about whether to abolish ICE. Forty-five percent each said they support and oppose the proposal. It surveyed 1,722 adults from January 16-19, 2026.
What to Know
In Colorado, an advocacy group named Voces Unidas said last week that ICE agents who detained nine Latino individuals left ace of spades cards inside the abandoned vehicles. The cards identify ICE’s field office in Denver and were later found by their family members, according to the organization’s statement.
Alex Sánchez, president and CEO of Voces Unidas, said in a statement the group was “disgusted” by their actions.
ICE agents approach a house before detaining two people on January 13, 2026, in Minneapolis, Minnesota. | Stephen Maturen/Getty Images
“Leaving a racist death card behind after targeting Latino workers is deliberate intimidation rooted in a long history of racial violence. This is an abuse of power, and it has no place in any society that claims to value human dignity,” Sánchez said.
During the Vietnam War, soldiers used the Ace of Spades card as an intimidation tactic against the Viet Cong, according to HistoryNet.com. Voces Unidas described their use in Colorado as “deliberate psychological harassment.”
The DHS spokesperson also told Newsweek that ICE is held “to the highest professional standard.”
“As our brave law enforcement arrests and removes dangerous criminal illegal aliens, including murderers, rapists, and gang members from our communities, America can be proud of the professionalism our officers bring to the job day-in and day-out,” the spokesperson said.
ICE has ramped up enforcement in states like Minneapolis and Maine over recent weeks. In Minneapolis, two individuals, Renee Nicole Good and Alex Pretti, both 37-year-old U.S. citizens, have been fatally shot by federal agents from ICE and U.S. Border Patrol, drawing increased scrutiny toward the administration’s hardline immigration approach. Some agents are expected to depart from Minneapolis as early as Tuesday.
What People Are Saying
Author Seth Abramson wrote to X: “ICE agents in Colorado have been leaving ace of spades cards behind when they detain someone, a psychological warfare technique the United States Armed Forces used against its mortal enemies during the Vietnam War. If you don’t think Trump is at war with his country, think again.”
The Colorado Democratic Party wrote to X: “This is disgusting on so many levels. Families of those arrested by ICE near Vail say agents left behind branded ‘death cards’ after arrests, a racist intimidation tactic, according to advocates and community leaders. Our communities deserve better, and we await the results of DHS’ investigation.”
What Happens Next
ICE operations continue across the country as Trump aims to carry out his campaign pledge of mass deportations. Criticism is also likely to continue, with a government shutdown possible over funding for ICE over the situation in Minnesota.
I often say that a lot of anti-trans anti-gay anti-LGBTQ+ people have their feelings because they don’t feel different from the cis straight majority so can’t understand or accept that such things because they simply don’t feel that way. If they don’t feel it it can’t be real which is the same with how many white people feel about racism. Remember the old question of how do you know you’re gay or trans or lesbian or nonbinary or what ever simply because the people who grew up straight and cis felt normal in society? But if you ask them when they knew or how they knew they were straight and / or cis they are confused. If a boy at 10 comes out as gay the parents freak out, but if that same kid starts showing interest in girls the parents are ecstatic about their boy growing up. Why the difference? Because one fulfills their expectations and the other … well it just is not like them. It simply comes down to tradition and what feels normal for them. Every person who asked me if I tried to change my sexual orientation and there have been so many, to them I ask have you? They act offended. Why would I do that and I reply, then why should I. Then if they persist for some reason that I should do conversion therapy I ask could they convert from their straight / cis desires to being LGBTQ+? Again they are stunned why they would do that and instantly claim not I couldn’t do that. Then again why ask me to do it? Hugs
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On Oct. 7, the U.S. Supreme Court heard oral arguments in Chiles v. Salazar, a case that challenges Colorado’s ban on conversion therapy.
Shortly after, Alliance Defending Freedom (ADF) sent an email to their supporters quoting Paul in Ephesians 6:12: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
The email goes on to say, “You might think that a law like this might be just a ‘Colorado problem.’ Sadly, laws like this exist in 22 other states,” referencing other parts of the U.S. that have instituted conversion therapy bans.
This sort of language about conversion therapy is nothing new for the Christian legal group representing Kaley Chiles. Unlike most legal organizations, ADF is sharply anti-LGBTQ. Since their inception over 30 years ago, the group has fought to maintain anti-sodomy laws, uphold the right to discriminate against gay couples and overturn Roe v. Wade.
In recent years, a major element of their fight has been to legalize the discredited practice of conversion therapy.
The Supreme Court appears poised to rule in favor of ADF, which could effectively invalidate conversion therapy bans for minors by licensed professionals across the U.S. This victory would add to the organization’s already-high win streak, which they say is around 80%.
“I don’t think anyone is undermining LGBTQ rights as relentlessly as ADF,” Peter Montgomery, research director at the advocacy group People for the American Way, told Uncloseted Media and GAY TIMES. “They’re shaping the culture for generations to come.”
Although nearly every major medical association has denounced conversion therapy, ADF is arguing that disallowing the practice is a violation of the U.S. Constitution’s First Amendment.
“This case is part of its crusade to turn religious freedom into a license to harm others,” says Amy Tai, the co-author of an amicus brief in Chiles v. Salazar that is urging the Supreme Court to uphold the Colorado law. “It is part of a larger effort and movement to harm LGBTQ people and strip them of their constitutional rights.”
ADF, originally the Alliance Defense Fund, was founded by evangelical anti-gay activists in 1994. Alan Sears, their former CEO and president, co-authored “The Homosexual Agenda: Exposing the Principal Threat to Religious Freedom Today.” The book calls homosexuality a “disordered sexual behavior” and equates it with pedophilia and states that gay people on college campuses are involved in “the promotion of sexual relations between adults and children.”
D. James Kennedy, another founder, has preached about “reparative” therapy for gay folks. In a 1993 fundraising letter for his Christian media organization Coral Ridge Ministries, he asked “Would you want your son, daughter, or grandchild sharing a shower, foxhole, or blood with a homosexual?”
A third founder was the late James Dobson, who advised several presidents and argued that conversion therapy could “cure” people.
Since ADF launched, many powerful political figures with anti-LGBTQ beliefs have worked for them. While working as an ADF spokesperson between 2002 and 2010, House Speaker Mike Johnson described gay folks as “destructive” and argued that support for homosexuality could lead to support for pedophilia.
Kristen Waggoner speaking at a press conference in 2018 (Groversawit)
And their current president, Kristen Waggoner, has delegitimized the harm conversion therapy causes by defining the practice as merely having conversations.
Today, their influence in the U.S. government is stronger than ever, with ties to all three branches. In addition to Speaker Johnson, Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett has been a paid speaker for ADF at least five times since 2011. And in May, President Donald Trump appointed Waggoner to the newly-formed Religious Liberty Commission.
All of these resources and connections are employed to advance an anti-LGBTQ agenda. “They want to see what they see as the God-defined order for gender and marriage be imposed into law,” Montgomery says. “They are trying to create a legal regime in which people can claim religious beliefs to opt out of laws that apply to everyone else.”
History of Fighting to Criminalize Homosexuality and Legalize Conversion Therapy
Over time, ADF has incorporated these viewpoints into their litigation to try and dismantle legal protections for LGBTQ people.
“Just 20 years ago, they were still arguing in court that states should be able to criminalize gay people,” says Montgomery.
In 2000, for example, ADF funded amicus briefs in Dale v. Boy Scouts of America, a case where an assistant scoutmaster sued the Boy Scouts after the organization revoked his membership for being gay. The Supreme Court ruled in favor of ADF.
In 2003, when support for gay marriage was still low in the U.S., they filed an amicus brief to uphold the criminalization of gay sex in Lawrence v. Texas, arguing that the state has a right to regulate “public health and morality.” The group lost the case and sodomy laws were banned nationwide.
As public opinion changed and gay marriage became legal across America in 2015, ADF shifted to more nuanced arguments. “Now, because they know that most Americans favor LGBTQ equality, they’ve really reframed their arguments [around] religious liberty and free speech,” says Montgomery.
The organization has since set its sights on overturning state bans on conversion therapy. In 2018, ADF Senior Counsel Matt Sharp argued against a California bill that classified conversion therapy as fraud. And in 2019, the group sued New York City for a similar law, which led the city to reverse the ban out of fear the case would reach the Supreme Court.
A few years later, in 2021, ADF fought to overturn a statewide conversion therapy ban in Washington, where they represented Christian therapist Brian Tingley. In this instance, they argued that Washington’s law censored Tingley from speaking about gender dysphoria.
A federal appeals court unanimously upheld Washington’s law, with Circuit Judge Ronald Gould shutting down ADF’s argument, writing that: “Washington, like other states, has concluded that health care providers should not be able to treat a child by such means as telling him that he is ‘the abomination we had heard about in Sunday school.’”
Learning from their mistakes, ADF tried again with Chiles v. Salazar, claiming the Colorado law discriminates against Chiles’ viewpoint. Chiles is an evangelical therapist who received her counseling training and education from a seminary.
In their arguments to the Supreme Court, ADF says the conversion therapy ban encourages therapists to help minors explore LGBTQ identities and condemns assisting patients to align with their assigned gender.
Though intended to ban conversion therapy for all LGBTQ people, ADF’s case focuses on gender identity, capitalizing on souring U.S. public opinion on trans rights.
“Chiles believes that people flourish when they live consistently with God’s design, including their biological sex,” ADF wrote in a petition to the Supreme Court.
“ADF has tried to draw a connection between laws prohibiting conversion therapy and states attempting to force mental health professionals or doctors to treat transgender youth,” Christopher Stoll, senior staff attorney at the National Center for LGBTQ Rights, told Uncloseted Media and GAY TIMES. But if the law passes, conversion therapy would become legal to practice on all LGBTQ people.
Another part of ADF’s success stems from manufacturing legal battles to advance cases that match their goals.
Chiles, for example, had not incurred any legal penalty from the Colorado district attorney. Instead, ADF filed a pre-enforcement lawsuit, claiming that she had censored herself and stopped accepting patients for conversion therapy following the law’s passage.
“All of these cases are, in a sense, made up cases. … They’re brought on behalf of therapists who have not actually been subject to any kind of investigation or penalty by either state or local governments,” says Stoll, who is representing Kansas City, Mo. as ADF and Missouri’s Attorney General challenge the city’s ban on conversion therapy.
This strategy is what makes ADF stand out. Montgomery says that unlike many other legal organizations, ADF also helps file lawsuits and writes the bills that directly challenge precedents and legislation they hope to change.
This was in part how they were effective in overturning Roe v. Wade. ADF drafted the Gestational Age Act, which banned abortion in Mississippi after 15 weeks of pregnancy. That law then became the central point of the Dobbs case, which overturned abortion rights nationwide.
“They’re just engineered to test these legal arguments, when really no dispute has arisen,” says Stoll.
When asked for comment, an Alliance Defending Freedom Media Relations Specialist redirected Uncloseted Media to a website criticizing the Southern Poverty Law Center, saying the group mischaracterizes ADF as a hate group.
How ADF Operates Globally
ADF’s efforts to dismantle conversion therapy and LGBTQ rights span far beyond the U.S. Alliance Defending Freedom International (ADFI) boasts about efforts in 70 countries, where they push anti-LGBTQ legislation as far as possible in each country.
In 2012, ADF’s then-legal counsel Piero Tozzi spoke at a conference in Jamaica, advocating for the prohibition of gay sex, stating that the “retention of the legislation prohibiting sodomy is a bulwark against this agenda.” And in 2013, members of ADF defended a statute in Belize that characterized LGBTQ sex as “carnal intercourse against the order of nature.”
“They’re one of the most powerful and influential Christian right religious extremist groups that we have operating in Europe,” Neil Datta, executive director of the European Parliamentary Forum on Sexual and Reproductive Rights, told Uncloseted Media and GAY TIMES.
Datta says with offices in six cities with international human rights centers, ADFI contacts political allies throughout the continent, feeding them legal briefs and direct arguments. Then, those partners take that information and rejig it to align with their country’s political discourse.
“They’re hiring Europeans, training them in the American model of social issues litigation from an anti-rights perspective, and then hoping that [they] will be running with this in European courts,” Datta says. “They bring know-how and capacity to the continent.”
Datta says the U.S. is where the organization conducts its litmus tests for anti-LGBTQ laws and legal arguments: “In the U.S., you have 50 little courts that you can try things out in,” he says. “[ADF] has their own range of different areas that they would like to be active in, and they hunt for opportunities where they can make some progress.”
That includes the defense of Finnish politician Päivi Räsänen, who in 2021 was tried for hate speech for condemning a Lutheran church for supporting a Pride event. With ADFI’s assistance, Räsänen was acquitted in 2023.
Making Headway to Ban Conversion Therapy Abroad
While ADFI has yet to succeed in overturning conversion therapy bans in Europe, Datta says some politicians with links to the group have promoted reintegrative therapy, another form of therapy that attempts to help folks suppress same-sex attraction. While the term attempts to distance itself from conversion therapy, it uses similar procedures to the condemned practice.
However, Datta says ADFI is taking steps to shift the discourse by lobbying against the Digital Services Act, a European Union regulation for online hate speech.
In October, ADFI penned a letter to the European Commission asking the organization to review the law. ADF has also posted various blogs on the legislation, one posing a hypothetical about gender identity, stating, “Let’s say you went on Facebook … to post something as common sense as believing that there are only two genders. … If someone were to report that as hate speech, the E.U. could pressure Meta … to remove the post lest it face those stiff financial penalties.”
ADFI has also expanded its horizons to Africa. In May, Bettina Roska, an ADFI legal officer based in Geneva, joined a consortium of anti-LGBTQ advocates in a Pan-African conference on “family values” in Nairobi, Kenya.
“They are trying to do the same thing in Africa, around the African Union, and the African human rights system,” Jamie Vernaelde, senior researcher at Ipas, a non-governmental organization that focuses on reducing the harm of U.S. foreign policy, told Uncloseted Media and GAY TIMES.
Back in the U.S., the Supreme Court will rule on Chiles v. Salazar before the end of its current term next year. Their decision will potentially clear the way for conversion therapy to be practiced nationwide and abroad.
Vernaelde says that if Chiles v. Salazar is successful, ADF is hoping to bring their fight against conversion therapy worldwide in the same way they are expanding their anti-abortion lawsuits. Today, the group is attempting to undo abortion protections in the U.K. with the help of allies in the country’s right-wing Reform party.
“This is a template that they can use in other places that they can spread as widely as they want through their networks,” says Vernaelde.
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A bit ago, Scottie – you put out a post titled “I have struggled all day”. In that post, you included two songs, and for those who have been on this blog for a while we do recognize Terry Jacks. Music is a huge part of my life. I sing like a water buffalo with laryngitis, but I love music. It works to lift me up when I’m down, it reminds me of special people and special times in my life, it brings me peace, and sometimes it allows me to be angry. Music can sing to a person’t soul, lighten one’s load. It allows me to cry when I need to cry, to hope when hope seems gone. It reminds me that I’m not alone. So, I have three songs here. Two are just a bit tongue-in-cheek, but the last is very special to me. I sent you this song, Scottie, a long time ago. It is my favorite cover of that song. My challenge and my ask to everyone is to please add in the comments the songs that you love, that feed your heart and soul. Songs that make you smile, make you cry, make you dance or sing in a crowded grocery store because you just can’t not sing or dance when you hear it. Because like the last song says so clearly: we are all in this together, whether we want to be or not. 🙂
I love you, my brother! Randy
Careful. That one gets in your ear and you can’t get it out.
That one for my big brother, who I do my best to irritate – as all brothers should.
And finally, this one, to remind to remind my very wonderful brother and all of us that no matter how much we may feel alone, we are not. We are loved – first we need to remember that we have to love ourselves no matter how we are feeling (easier said, I know). But, we also have to remember that there are people who rely on us, who hope in us, who see our mangled spirit and troubled mind as a life-line in cold dark seas and really think we are something grand even when we don’t.
So, Again Everyone… please let me know the songs that are special to you, and perhaps even why they are special. Music is the magic. Randy
In the video below we learn that ICE is now disappearing people. Simply taking them and not documenting where they are taken or what happened to them. Families missing loved ones simply can’t find them in the ICE system anywhere. Hugs
The public doesn’t like the lawless gang thugs actions of racist Christian nationalist ICE and is demanding action from their elected representatives, many of whom are either racists or Christian nationalists themselves, to act to stop the actions of illegal assault ICE is making on the civil rights of the US public. We can see both the right and the left elected members don’t really want to and I can only think it is something to do with big money donors, many of whom are highly racist and make a great profit off the situation we have currently. Hugs
As Democrats across the country propose state law changes to restrict federal immigration officers after the shooting death of a protester in Minneapolis, Tennessee Republicans introduced a package of bills Thursday backed by the White House that would enlist the full force of the state to support President Donald Trump’s immigration crackdown.
Democratic Gov. Kathy Hochul wants New York to allow people to sue federal officers alleging violations of their constitutional rights. Another measure aims to keep immigration officers lacking judicial warrants out of schools, hospitals and houses of worship.
Oregon Democrats plan to introduce a bill to allow residents to sue federal officers for violating their Fourth Amendment rights against unlawful search and seizure.
New Jersey’s Democrat-led Legislature passed three bills Monday that immigrant rights groups have long pushed for, including a measure prohibiting state law enforcement officers from cooperating with federal immigration enforcement. Democratic Gov. Phil Murphy has until his last day in office Tuesday to sign or veto them.
California lawmakers are proposing to ban local and state law enforcement from taking second jobs with the Department of Homeland Security and make it a violation of state law when ICE officers make “indiscriminate” arrests around court appearances. Other measures are pending.
“Where you have government actions with no accountability, that is not true democracy,” Democratic state Sen. Scott Wiener of San Francisco said at a news conference.
State Sen. Scott Wiener speaks during the San Francisco Congressional District 11 candidate forum in San Francisco on Wednesday, Jan. 7, 2026. (Scott Strazzante/San Francisco Chronicle via AP)
Democrats also push bills in red states
Democrats in Georgia introduced four Senate bills designed to limit immigration enforcement — a package unlikely to become law because Georgia’s conservative upper chamber is led by Lt. Gov. Burt Jones, a close Trump ally. Democrats said it is still important to take a stand.
“Donald Trump has unleashed brutal aggression on our families and our communities across our country,” said state Sen. Sheikh Rahman, an immigrant from Bangladesh whose district in suburban Atlanta’s Gwinnett County is home to many immigrants.
Democrats in New Hampshire have proposed numerous measures seeking to limit federal immigration enforcement, but the state’s Republican majorities passed a new law taking effect this month that bans “sanctuary cities.”
Georgia state Sen. Sheikh Rahman, D-Lawrenceville, speaks during a news conference at the Georgia State Capitol in Atlanta, Tuesday, Jan. 13, 2026. (Matthew Pearson/WABE via AP)
Tennessee GOP works with White House on a response
The bills Tennessee Republicans are introducing appear to require government agencies to check the legal status of all residents before they can obtain public benefits; secure licenses for teaching, nursing and other professions; and get driver’s licenses or register their cars.
They also would include verifying K-12 students’ legal status, which appears to conflict with a U.S. Supreme Court precedent. And they propose criminalizing illegal entry as a misdemeanor, a measure similar to several other states’ requirements, some of which are blocked in court.
“We’re going to do what we can to make sure that if you’re here illegally, we will have the data, we’ll have the transparency, and we’re not spending taxpayer dollars on you unless you’re in jail,” House Speaker Cameron Sexton said at a news conference Thursday.
Trump administration sues to stop laws
The Trump administration has opposed any effort to blunt ICE, including suing local governments whose “sanctuary” policies limit police interactions with federal officers.
Federal immigration officers confront protesters outside Bishop Henry Whipple Federal Building, Thursday, Jan. 15, 2026, in Minneapolis. (AP Photo/Adam Gray)
States have broad power to regulate within their borders unless the U.S. Constitution bars it, but many of these laws raise novel issues that courts will have to sort out, said Harrison Stark, senior counsel with the State Democracy Research Initiative at the University of Wisconsin Law School.
“There’s not a super clear, concrete legal answer to a lot of these questions,” he said. “It’s almost guaranteed there will be federal litigation over a lot of these policies.”
That is already happening.
California in September was the first to ban most law enforcement officers, including federal immigration officers, from covering their faces on duty. The Justice Department said its officers won’t comply and sued California, arguing that the laws threaten the safety of officers who are facing “unprecedented” harassment, doxing and violence.
The Justice Department also sued Illinois last month, challenging a law that bars federal civil arrests near courthouses, protects medical records and regulates how universities and day care centers manage information about immigration status. The Justice Department claims the law is unconstitutional and threatens federal officers’ safety.
Targeted states push back
Minnesota and Illinois, joined by their largest cities, sued the Trump administration this week. Minneapolis and Minnesota accuse the Republican administration of violating free speech rights by punishing a progressive state that favors Democrats and welcomes immigrants. Illinois and Chicago claim “Operation Midway Blitz” made residents afraid to leave their homes.
Homeland Security spokesperson Tricia McLaughlin accused Minnesota officials of ignoring public safety and called the Illinois lawsuit “baseless.”
___
Bauer reported from Madison, Wisconsin. Associated Press writers John O’Connor in Springfield, Illinois; Sophie Austin in Sacramento, California; Mike Catalini in Trenton, New Jersey; Anthony Izaguirre in Albany, New York; Claire Rush in Portland, Oregon; and Jeff Amy in Atlanta contributed.
Georgia state Sen. Sheikh Rahman, D-Lawrenceville, speaks during a news conference at the Georgia State Capitol in Atlanta, Tuesday, Jan. 13, 2026. (Matthew Pearson/WABE via AP)
Scottie's Playtime 
