So yesterday I posted about being disconnected from reality.  I am sorry I did not get to any comments today  I will do it tomorrow I promise.  Last night I tossed and turned and got up and simply walked the house.  I did not have a plan nor go online. I simply paced every room in the house mindlessly.  Let me explain it is worse than that.

I went to bed feeling exhausted, too tired to stay up, after making sure the cat got his medications and food, and then after an hour I was awake.  I tried every mind trick to keep my emotions at bay but nothing was working  and I couldn’t sleep.  But then something strange happened, not normal to me.  

I got up and went to the computers … and couldn’t focus on them.  I did not put ear buds in to listen to anything.  It was like my mind shut down and my body was on autopilot.  For hours I walked the house, room to room to room.   At 2:30 am my time Ron texted me a bit worried I had not responded to his texts, but I did not respond, I just paced around the house.   It would have been normal for me if I had had my ear buds in and sounds in my head, but I did not.  I simply walked the house and every room in it over and over and over again for several hours.   Then I sat at the computer, tried to do something, gave up and went to bed.  As close as I can figure I got two or maybe three hours of sleep.  

But the lack of sleep is not the point.  What was happening in my mind that caused me to walk like that?  I normally cannot go 20 seconds or more without exsternal imput into my mind.   But last night I had none of that and I don’t know why.  Looking back it was like I was possessed.  When I got up I knew I did it, but not why.   My mind was blank.  

Ron has often in the last decade forced me awake because I was crying out or struggling in my sleep.  Some of those he said sounded so strangled like I was trying to cry out while my throat was being closed off.  Ron was not here last night.  I was alone.   My queston is did my mind force me out of the bed and walk because there was no other way to help me from what I was remembering in my sleep?

All day today I have been off trying to get my normal posts done.  I have failed.   No other way to put it, I am failing at my posting job.   But I would love to hear what you guys think happened to me last night.  Because it is terrifying if I am just going to mind shut down and walk around.  What else might I do?  Hugs