Thank you all for reading! You’re all giving me so much strength to carry on. What a privilege to have you as interlocutors. Unfortunately, I also have bills to pay, especially in the next few weeks, so I must do a bit of self-promo, even though I really hate it.
My work is entirely powered by you, dear readers! If you want to support my goal of making a living from these comics, the best way is to subscribe at www.patreon.com/assignedmale . It can be for any amount, you can get a yearly discount, and you can cancel anytime. If you wish to show your appreciation for the work I’ve been doing lately, you can send me a coffee at www.ko-fi.com/sophielabelle .
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Either way, keep shining, stay hydrated, and watch your posture. Love you all!! Sophie
Here’s the latest signature. This was done on my iPad, which was a little sad for me because I hadn’t used it in over a month. I had to reboot my Procreate program, and there was some lag. Don’t worry, baby. Daddy’s coming home.
A hard part about writing my signature is controlling my arm and applying pressure. Someone mentioned that I should strum one of my guitars as physical therapy, but I think there are better exercises. Plus, not being able to strum a guitar only makes me sad. It’s almost as sad as not being able to draw.
So why did six Democrats (one Independent and whatever the fuck Fetterman is) cave in on the government shutdown? They had just overwhelmingly won elections in New York City, New Jersey, and Virginia last week. The public was correctly blaming Donald Trump and Republicans for the shutdown. Proof of that was Donald Trump’s fight with courts to prevent snap benefits from feeding the hungry. Are Democrats upset over flight delays? Are they afraid Thanksgiving would be ruined? What did they get for rolling over?
Michael De Adder correctly has them surrendering.
Fake cartoonists Margolis and Cox have them surrendering, too. I can’t tell what’s going on with the person in the left-hand corner because the artwork is so bad. Why didn’t they finish writing “government?” There is plenty of room.
In the new deal, SNAP and WIC will receive additional funding, and there are a few other modest concessions on spending levels elsewhere in the government. Laid-off federal workers will be rehired, and furloughed federal workers will be given back pay. But remember, this entire fight was over subsidies for the Affordable Care Act being suspended. In exchange for rolling over, Democrats got a promise from Republicans that there would be a vote on healthcare subsidies. Basically, Democrats got a promise from Republicans that they’ll think about it.
Ezra Klein, an opinion columnist for The New York Times, wrote,“This, in the end, is the calculation the defecting Senate Democrats are making: They don’t think a longer shutdown will cause Trump to cave. They just think it will cause more damage.”
I understand why Democrats may get that impression. Donald Trump is flying to Asia, playing golf, traveling to me MAGA-Lardo, going to football games for no fucking reason, and ramping up support to name the new stadium in Washington, DC after him, and it’s obvious he doesn’t care about people starving. So what does Trump care if the government shuts down? And what do Republicans care either? They’re all on vacation. Mike Johnson sent Republicans on vacation. They want Democrats to own the shutdown, but they’re not doing anything to end it.
It is especially frustrating because these Democrats have been in Washington, DC long enough to know better than to trust Republicans. I wouldn’t be surprised if Republicans never even hold a vote on the subsidies for the Affordable Care Act. I mean, House Republicans did not make this deal, so they don’t have to hold a vote on the subsidies. Only Senate Republicans have promised to hold a vote.
Kicking Lucy’s football is a lazy trope, but John Darkow has it right that Democrats are nothing but a bunch of suckers.
Chuck Schumer did not vote for this plan, but do you blame him as the Democratic Senate leader for it happening, as Dave Whamond has cartooned about here? Personally, whether Schumer deserves part of the blame or not, doesn’t matter in concerning his fate, as he has always been a weak leader.
Democrats have the view that Donald Trump is not caving, thus they’re caving into in without even negotiating. Are you telling me that Donald Trump’s strategy of not giving a fuck is working to sway Democrats?
Chris Britt has it right that these eight are nothing but a bunch of chickens.
Mike Luckovich sure this cartoon last week or so, but now I believe it’s the Democrats, who are curving themselves up. If nothing else, they’re serving Obamacare up for the slaughter.
I don’t think anyone has explained the healthcare subsidy situation better than Matt Davies has. As someone who is benefiting from Obamacare and government subsidies, I feel like we’re getting rolled over.
And Steve…
I know you get reprints when you don’t blame anyone specific, but it wasn’t just Congress that was responsible for the shutdown. Maybe someday you’ll be able to cartoon about issues after you understand them.
This was almost as cowardly as…
…when Ramirez was afraid to blame Donald Trump for pardoning George Santos. Seriously, Michael… “they” did not pardon George Santos. Only one person could have pardoned George Santos, and I don’t know if you know how the Constitution works, but it doesn’t say that person is “they.”
Was Rudy Giuliani guilty of trying to help Trump steal the 2020 election? Donald Trump thinks he is. That’s why he got a pardon this week. This isn’t like Joe Biden giving his son and Dr. Anthony Fauci pardons, Fauci being preemptive, because Donald Trump has proved those were necessary as he has turned the entire Justice Department into his personal attack dog, and is ordering it to go after his political enemies and seek revenge. But nobody was really going after Rudy on criminal charges in federal courts. A pardon does not save Rudy from paying out the civil judgment from the Georgia election workers any more than it stops his farts or black shoe dye from running down his skull.
Bill Bramhall, who was a couple of days after Lucko’s turkey, caught that this pardon was in the right season.
Along with Giuliani, Trump pardoned John Eastman, a corrupt lawyer who advised Trump’s 2020 campaign; Mark Meadows, the former White House chief of staff; Boris Epshteyn, a presidential adviser; and Sidney Powell, an insane lawyer who blamed conspiracy theories for Trump’s defeat to Joe Biden. None of these people has been charged in federal courts, though they have been charged in state courts. Trump’s pardons are only symbolic as they don’t protect his friends from state charges.
This is another example of Trump using the presidency to help himself and his friends and not the American people. This is what happens when a felon gets pardon powers.
I’m sick of the new normal, which includes pandering to a 79-year-old toddler. Part of this new normal is naming shit after Trump. There’s talk of renaming the Kennedy Center after Donald Trump. There’s talk of renaming the metro system in Washington, DC after Trump, the $1000 savings account for newborns is called the Trump account, lawmakers had proposed renaming Dulles International Airport after Trump, and now, Trump is demanding that the new football stadium on the old RFK Stadium site be named after him. Donald Trump didn’t have anything to do with securing the stadium deal any more than he did with ending the war between Hamas and Israel.
As for the Metro, a Republican introduced a bill that threatened to withhold federal funding for Washington’s rail system unless the name was changed to the Trump train. Why? There’s no fucking reason given for this fealty to Trump. Republicans want to hold funding hostage, not for any policies or improvement, but just to name the system after Donald Trump. I seriously doubt Donald Trump has ever taken a ride on the Metro.
As you may know from reading this blog, I love Subway systems. I use the Metro more than any other train system, and it’s one I know very well. I will take it as a personal insult if the name is officially changed to the fucking Trump Train. This will be an insult to the entire city of Washington, and no longtime resident of the city will ever refer to it as the goddamn Trump Train.
I have said it before, and I will say it again. This is some Saddam Hussein-level bullshit. Of course, Republicans don’t care about the optics anymore.
I’m very surprised the Supreme Court refused to revisit gay marriage. You know if zealots Clarence Thomas and Amy Coney Barrett had their way, they would try to overturn it the same way they did with Roe. Precedent doesn’t mean anything to the Supreme Court anymore. Neither does the Constitution nor the law. SCOTUS would rather go by the Old Testament than by the United States Constitution.
Donald Trump is promising tariff payments to middle-income Americans. He said, “We’re going to issue a dividend to our middle-income people and lower-income people of about $2,000. And we’re going to use the remaining tariffs to lower our debt.”
Two things: this contradicts his argument that tariffs are not taxes being paid by American consumers, and his tariffs aren’t bringing in enough revenue to give everyone $2,000. If you make Americans pay these tariff dividends from the budget, then aren’t Americans paying for the dividends just like they’re paying for the tariffs? Donald Trump doesn’t even have any details for this new plan. He thinks it’s magic money that’s going to appear out of thin air.
Donald Trump wants the tariffs to pay off the deficit. American consumers are paying the tariffs. Donald Trump wants to pay American consumers out of the debt for paying for the tariffs. You don’t need to be an economics major to know that this is madness.
As Bill points out, it’s the tariff, stupid. If Democrats do come out winning over Trump’s tariff policy, I’m sure they will find a way to blow it.
Donald Trump is now demanding that the BBC apologize to him for editing part of a video of his speech before the January 6 attack, and to pay him lots of money, or he will sue them for $1 billion. This sounds like Dr. Evil threatening the BBC.
As Jack points out, ethics are lapsing with the American media. Now, when 60 Minutes interviews him (after CBS allowed him to bribe them), it’s about as ethical as when Fox News does not give him follow-up questions.
Trump believes the video made him sound more violent than he really was, ignoring that the attack on January 6 was violent and an attempt to overturn the 2020 election. But as usual, Donald Trump is demanding to be bribed. The American press has failed to stand firm against Donald Trump and his threats, so I hope the British press does not give in. I need to believe in something.
Joel Pett points out what Donald Trump wants edited out.
This is one reason why I like to have the BBC as one of the four channels in the multiview feature.
Have you heard of Mar-a-Lago face? Usually, people who have a little work done don’t want to advertise it. Most people lie about it when questioned. But now it seems that they’re all going the Kristi Noem route, and going for the Melania. Having your lips filled and being proud of it is very much a Palm Beach thing, but now it’s extending to Washington, DC. Now there are MAGAts in Washington who are having work done, and they’re proud of it. They want everyone to know, which means their faces look fucking stupid. It seems the facelift of Washington isn’t just going to be in the city. I guess collagen-filled lips are better for kissing Donald Trump’s ass with. Dammit, that’s a political cartoon.
If I see a bunch of Kristie Noems on the “Trump Train,” I’m going to lose my shit. Last June, during Trump’s birthday parade, I did tell some MAGAts on the metro to fuck Trump. A MAGAt’s right to free speech to wear that ugly cap on the Metro also applies to my free speech to tell them to go fuck themselves.
Let’s talk about some stroke stuff. I am currently wearing a temporary heart sensor. I hate it. Since I got out of the hospital, it’s been the bane of my existence.
I recently transferred to the rehab center, which is just across the street from the hospital. Today I took a cognitive test, I took a speech pattern test, and I took a physical test. Every day from here on out, I will be taking a physical test, which we call PT. They usually wanna work people till they wanna quit, but they haven’t had that problem with me yet, not because I’m super amazing or awesome, but because I really want to beat this shit as quickly as I can.
My friend Melissa Colombo came by and brought me some clothes. Nobody can go on Facebook and ask people to bring them shorts, T-shirts, and underwear while they’re in a rehab center, but I can. Hell, I once got people to send me self-addressed stamped envelopes for messed-up business cards. But I sent out a request on Facebook for someone to bring me some shorts and T-shirts to the rehab center. All I had this morning was just a road in the hospital, and my ass was hanging out.
A few people offered to ship me stuff, but that wasn’t the issue. I have money. I could easily order something. But I need something now because, let me put that again, my ass was hanging out. So my friend Melissa brought me some clothes. Funny thing is, someone else went ahead and quickly ordered me some stuff, and that was Leslie Elliott.
I want to thank Melissa and Leslie for literally saving my ass.
The next 10 days are going to be more PT. I am expected to be in this place for at least 10 days. After that, I’m expected to go home. The thing is, I live in a second-level apartment, and I want to be able to walk into my apartment and take care of myself again. Unfortunately, I’m nowhere close to that yet. Walking, taking steps, things are extremely difficult right now, and even grabbing things is impossible, but I am further today than I was yesterday.
If you have donated to me either by becoming a paid subscriber to my Substack, or donated through PayPal, or donated through Venmo, or donated through Zelle, and I have not sent you a message, please accept my apologies. I want to thank everybody who has supported me through this. The outpouring of support has blown me away. In fact, it’s blown away the entire cartooning community. We are all very impressed and overwhelmed by your support, especially me. I just wanna say thank you. I’m never going to stop saying thank you.
And on that note, I was just visited by a former photographer from the Free Lance-Star, Suzanne Carr Rossi. She brought me pants.
And now the Facebook updates from the past few days.
Today, October 16, 2025
Remember when Donald Trump took that cognitive test and bragged about it? Remember that he had to repeat “person, woman, man, camera, TV”. Trump said. “They said nobody gets it in order, it’s actually not that easy. But for me it was easy. And that’s not an easy question.” He is right.
It’s not an easy question when you have to answer five minutes later.
It’s not easy when the question is “bridge, Sarah, justice, banana.” It’s not easy when you have to remember photos that include car keys, a comb, and a helicopter five minutes later.
It’s not easy when you have to remember letters and numbers in the sequence of 1, A, 2, B, 3, C, 4, D, etc, to ten.
It’s not easy to count backwards from 20.
It’s not easy to have to draw a clock and other shapes with your left hand when you’re handed and your right hand is kind of dead from a stroke.
It’s not easy to do any of the stuff after having a stroke, but I did it. The thing is, nobody told me I was great or amazing for it. Sicophants didn’t fawn over me for it. Nobody threw a parade for me because I remembered five words. Idiots didn’t go until late-night TV to tell me I was a genius for it.
Donald Trump wants you to treat him like a baby for remembering five words.
Donald Trump never suffered from a stroke.
So why was Donald Trump given this cognitive test?
Who knew that my stroke would become part of my research?
October 16, 2025
Ok, Peezeheads!!! Who wants to volunteer to help out a stroke victim, and possibly an opportunity to see my ass?
I am at Encompass in Fredericksburg. I need someone to bring me a few button-up shirts. I can’t use a T-shirt because my shoulder is messed up from the stroke. I also need a pair of shorts. I just need athletic shorts, nothing with buttons or belts, or zippers. 
I could also use some underwear.
At this time, I am still wearing the gown from the hospital, and my ass is hanging out. Fortunately, the entire nursing staff has told me that my butt is not too hairy, but maybe they’re just being nice. 
Update: I am only asking local people to help. I need this stuff today, not delivered by Amazon. Thank you.
Update update: Melissa Colomboto the rescue, and then Leslie Elliott, and my friend Suzanne.
October 15, 2025
So many people have touched me this week, and I’ll never be able to you how much it means to me.
As I was being rolled out on a gurney to be taken to the rehab center, an old friend I hadn’t seen in nearly a decade was waiting outside my hospital room to see me.
I want to cry. I love you, Rhonda.
October 15, 2025
I had an MRI this morning after the procedure scan my heart. They were looking to see if there was a hole or any other abnormalities in my heart that may have caused the stroke. As it turns out, there’s nothing wrong with it.
But the MRI was brutal. You can’t move, your back hurts, you don’t know when it’s going to end, you are continuously being asked to hold your breath, and they’re playing 90s music made by other people. Instead of Pearl Jam, you’re getting Pearl lame.
It’s time to go. They want more blood.
October 15, 2025
I am being moved tonight to a rehab facility. I think this is good news. 
October 15, 2025
One of my nurses was training another nurse this morning. Just as the trainee was applying alcohol to my skin, in order for me to inject myself with insulin (yes they are making me inject myself), I decided let out a little scream. AAAAAGH! The trainee jumped, and the other nurse laughed her ass off, and said that was great.
They both said that they’re going to remember me.
Damn straight.
This is the GoFundMe set up by Kevin Necessary and Jack Ohman
This is a cartoon drawn by John Buss.
How to draw Peezy by Dave Whammond, and he’s trying to get more cartoonists to join in. I hope it happens because I would love to see more of my colleagues’ renditions of our favorite pizza.
I haven’t posted Clay Jones’s work in a while, though I’ve read it on Substack. His work is important, but I haven’t had the heart to post it; we all know what’s happening all around us, and I’d rather post solutions and mental health minutes. Anyway, this is news that is not good, though it could be so much worse. sigh
Unfortunately, this week I had a stroke and my right side is partially paralyzed. This means the streak is over, and I have to relearn how to use my hand and my voice.
Please bear with me until I figure this out. I appreciate everyone’s love and concern. I will see you when I see you.
This post was made with great difficulty using voice messaging. Please do not call or message me.
I love you all,
Clay Jones
Oh yeah. They also discovered I am diabetic, and of course, the Eurotrip is off. (snip)