Sadly after. If you will let me post my own feelings. And ask a question

For nearly two days I worried about Tupac, which I call Ron’s cat.  I stayed up, I forced myself to do everything needed to make sure he was OK.  I nearly fell out of bed twice because he was pushed so tight against me, and I was afraid if I pushed back he would be injured that I was right on the edge of the bed.  I fed him in the bed, I let him pee and poop in the bed.  I carried him around the house so he wouldn’t have to put his paw down on the floor.   Yes, I was trying to be a good daddy.   Meanwhile Ron was panicking and crying on the phone that we might have to put the boy down.   

Here is my issue I want to share and ask all of the wonderful people who come here.  It is not critical and if you don’t want to reply it is OK.  

After all of this, All the lack of sleep, and all the effort, as I got home and started to relax, as I started watching other things on one monitor and as I started replying to comments on this monitor … memories started to invade.

I started struggling to deal with Tupac, the kitchen, even the blog.  Memories after memories are flooding over me and through me.  I was answering comments yet even as I write replies I have to delete some of what I wrote.   What is wrong with me!  I should be so happy as my husband’s cat is not got a broken leg and I only need to baby him to get him well.  

Yet the places my mind is going into my past, my childhood is horrific and blocking everything I am trying to do.  I once as a preteen swam out into the middle of a pond to save what would become my only praised love, the black lab and I did not know when I carried her cold shaking form back to the camper my adoptive parents had that I was signing the death warrant of our other dog.  Also I had to bargain my damn body for the dog to live.  I agreed and went into the camper to be raped repeatedly.  Shit why does my mind go to these places they hurt so much?

Why.  Suzy Sunshine asked me that question before admitting she had no way or conception how to help me.   She tried to hide it but she was shocked and horrified by the few minor things I told her. 

Sorry I got so damn distracted.    The question is why now knowing Tupac is OK and everything will work out as I sat here at my computer starting to deal with everything … did my mind flood me with horrific memories of my past and of things I can not change?  That is what I am struggling with.  Please help if you have an idea?

See the rest I have been dealing with all my life.  I watched librarians when I was 7 or 8 years old put the books I was reading behind their desk for me tomorrow while only touching me on my head as if they patted me on the back I cried out in pain.  But my mind knew this.  So why flood my memories with it when I realized Tupac was OK.  Why is my mind sending me these memories?

Maybe you all have abilities I don’t.  I am sorry if this post upset anyone.  I am going back to replying to the wonderful comments.  I just wanted everyone to understand  what I am dealing with.  Hugs

 

$534 to find out the cat is a drama queen who may get it from his two gay dads.

I am home and decompressing.   I had a very bad night.  But I guess I should start at the beginning.  

Ron left the morning of Saturday the 17th for Texas because his sister fell and broke her wrist.  This after her husband died and she needed Ron’s help to get her large home ready for sale.  She had returned here with him and I was so grateful for her being here as she let me get back to what I love, blogging.  But Ron being gone for three weeks was traumatic for Tupac who has seen the humans he loves go away never to come back so he clung to me the entire time Ron was gone.  He had already been coming to  me before Ron when he wanted something and at night he would sleep either on the pillow I put in the middle of the bed so he could lay on it and be made of by both of us or what he started to do while Ron was gone the first time he would lay between that middle pillow and my body.

So Ron left for Texas and I noticed that Tupac was staying much closer to me and to the house when outside.  He also did not want to go out as much.  Ron had noticed that there was a very large orange cat that was coming around to lay near the house and also a back long hair cat that was very vocal screaming at Tupac.  While the orange cat was trying to find friendship the black long hair seemed to want to provoke a fight or at least scare Tupac.  So I figured Tupac was staying close to home or inside since Ron left because of that.  Also since Ron left Tupac who is a bit incontinent leaking a bit on the places he sleeps and stuff started urinating on the floor as he was walking or eating, or even just sitting somewhere.  Now let’s get to the drama queen stuff and the big scare.

Yesterday the 20th Tupac stayed on the new daybed Diane gave us that was in the new living room all morning sleeping.   I heard him thump onto the floor.  I was in the kitchen getting ready to do dishes.   As he walked into the room I noticed he was limping on his right front paw.  But he seemed to be walking it out as he moved I just figured he slept too long on his right front shoulder.  So I gave it no more thought.   Then during the later part of the day he got up on my desk as he has gotten to love doing.  It is one way I have bonded with all our cats, they love the warmth the monitors put off and enjoy rubbing on them and other things on the desk.  I put a towel down and the cat sits next to the keyboard enjoying the pets and warmth along with companionship while I work.  It took a while for Tupac to understand that joy but he took to it once he did.  

So back to yesterday he was on the desk and I went to get a soda.   I heard a thump / bang and came back to find Tupac on the floor with his right front paw held high.   He was very upset and when I reached for him he hobbled away from me to the bedroom.   Then he stopped and let me put him on the bed.  He hobbled to my pillows and lay down.  I reached out to him and he swatted my hand away with no claws.  I started envisioning the worst. 

Yes maybe he gets his drama queen honestly.  I figured he either broke his leg or did damage to his shoulder like dislocating it.  He pressed hard into my side pillow very upset.  I let him be for a bit then went back to him.  He then accepted my petting him.  Still thinking he broke his leg / paw I brought him supper in bed.  Then I went to bed with him.  I did not try to push him over but tried hard to lay down on my side of the bed next to him.  He loved it.  He slept pushed hard against me as I laid on the edge of the bed worried to try to move him and hurt his broken leg / paw.  He never got up once which was not normal, but he did change position pressing harder into me each time, each time I woke and couldn’t sleep because I worried he would try to jump down from the bed.  I figure I got two and half broken hours of sleep.

This morning I again brought him breakfast in bed which he loved.  I tried putting him on the floor but he wouldn’t walk or put the paw down and I got even more worried.  I put him back up on the bed near the pillows and he settled back into them while I went and got my shower.  After all I had to take him to the vet’s office as soon as they opened.  After my shower I got two shirts out, one that he could claw if he needed as I put him in his carrier and one to wear out to the vet’s office.  

When it came ten minutes from the time to leave, I went out, started the van let it warm up, and then moved it into position to be more able to move him into it.  I then picked him up from the recliner I have put him in and he seemed fine with staying in.  He did not really fight or struggle to stop going into the carrier.  So I closed the door and went to change my shirt to the one I wanted to wear in the veterinarian’s office.  Remember I was on an emergency walk in so the bill was $150 to walk into the door.  

I have to admit the young woman behind the counter was very much sympathetic and on the ball.   Seeing my cane she carried the pet carrier to a chair for me.  She was very sympathetic.  Then who I would in the hospital say was a medical assistance who came to get me and Tupac.  Again seeing my cane she came and offered to carry Tupac into the room and set his carrier on the table.  She took all the information.  Again very caring person.  I explained my fears and how Ron was in Texas.  She was very understanding through it all.   I thought of my time in the hospital and how many of the people there had far less empathy and concern for the feelings of the patients or their families.  

The doctor came in and talked with me, heard my fears and concerns.  They took Tupac and did X-Rays and other checks.  After 30 minutes the doctor came back.   She showed me the two X-Rays they were able to get before old man Tupac got too grumpy to let them do anymore.  I guess veterinarians are used to that and let him calm down while the doctor came to talk to me. 

The X-Rays showed that he had no breaks in his leg or wrist bones.  They did show great swelling in his paw near the first two digits.  The doctor suggested he got his claw caught and wrenched it while jumping down from the day bed.  But she was not sure.  I asked about his shoulder and she told me he was too grumpy then but if I wanted they could try again.   I asked her to if she could as I needed reassurance he did not damage his shoulder.   She told me she also was going to look closely at his claws on that paw to see if he ripped one.  

Well letting the old grumpy moocher calm down worked.   They got the X-ray, no damage to the shoulder.   She was able to look closely at his paw and claws.  And it explained what the issue was.  He had what she felt was an infected first digit and slightly his thumb on that paw.  That was why his paw was so swollen.  She said it looked like a puncture such as a bite from another cat that did it.  I asked if it could be a puncture from a plant or other thing and she said yes, but she felt it was another cat that did it.  

So for an entire night of staying awake watching to make sure he did not jump down and hurt his broken leg / wrist / shoulder and feeding him in bed then carrying him to the recliner this morning and packing pillows around him while putting them on the floor in case he jumped down, to find out he had an infected swollen very painful paw.  The doctor gave me three pain pills to give him one a day, and they gave him an antibiotic shot to help with the infection.  

But who would have figured that two old gay guys, one who owned / ran a bar for gay people in the 1980s would have a furry drama queen child who milked a painful paw into getting supper and breakfast in bed and carried around like a little prince … Oh I give up.  Hugs

 

Some Bernie Sanders clips from The Late Show. This is how democrats need to get air time

 

 

 

 

ICE Blinds Man After Shooting Him Point Blank In The Face

I have posted on this several times.  Remember right now the man gets no help from the government for what an ICE thug illegally did to this young man.  He won’t be able to charge the mask men who did this act against him under the tRump fanatic administration.  After all ICE lied about what happened and there is video to show it.  I hope he has a good lawyer who is collecting the evidence and the minute that democrats are back in power they sue.  Hugs

Stopping ICE’s Terror Campaign Starts Here…

Watch the clip of pure violence against the observer who is 20 feet from the ICE thugs.  The thug that assaults him has to run to get him.  But the thug tactics are working, see how far the woman backs up while constantly saying she is not impeding.  She is too far away to see the thugs beat the person they are detaining.  ICE doesn’t want to be filmed breaking the laws.  But the observer who was beaten up, he got it on his phone and may have had his phone destroyed as seems to be the new ICE tactic.   In another clip a little girl was simply abandoned in the street by ICE thugs who took her parent.   Hugs

IHIP News: ICE Commander Cosplays in NAZI UNIFORM and Dems Vote with MAGA to FUND ICE?!

Political cartoons / memes / news I want to share. 1-20-2026

 

Image from Assigned Male

Image from Assigned Male

 

 

 

#Edgar Allan Poe from What Are You Really Afraid Of?

 

OK now be nice … who says I don’t have a life or people I talk to daily outside of the blog … I do have to care for Ron’s cat!   😂😋😝😜🤣😎😍  Hugs

 

Image from What Are You Really Afraid Of?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#anti trump from GothicDarling

 

 

 

 

 

 

#smbc comics from Sleepy Demon's Cavalcade of Stuff

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

image

 

 

 

#white people twitter from White People Twitter

#white people twitter from White People Twitter

 

 

Image from What Are You Really Afraid Of?

 

Image from What Are You Really Afraid Of?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#Martin Luther King Jr from What Are You Really Afraid Of?

#Martin Luther King Jr from What Are You Really Afraid Of?

#Martin Luther King Jr from What Are You Really Afraid Of?

#timesupnow from Marsha Thomason

#mlk jr from RESIST DRUMPF

#mlk from IT GETS BETTER

 

 

 

As a white old man with a beard and a military veteran I dream of what I would say to an ICE thug that would demand I prove my where I was born.  Sadly they simply wouldn’t ask me!  I am too white!  The fact is this is entirely a racist push to remove nonwhite people.   But one thing I can do is put my whiteness in front of the brown / black people to defend them by legally demanding ICE be held accountable.  I am not in an area where that is happening as I am in a red state in a mostly white area.   But if you have the opportunity to use your white privilege please do.  Yes I know Fox anger stations claim that doesn’t exist but then why are criminal ICE thugs not asking white people for their papers?   Hugs from Scottie.  

#Trump is a neo-Nazi from Rejecting Republicans

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Under Bari Weiss leadership CBS twice reported that the murderer of Renee Good Jonathan Ross had internal bleeding based only on what the tRump admin told her to report for them.   Despite other at the network disputing it and asking her not to report an unconfirmed fact.   She got her job after a hard right white supremacist billionaire bought the network and put her there to support the tRump crime administration. Hugs

 

 

I think many of these ICE thugs would do this regardless because their dream is a white US ethnostate with their corrupt demented cult leader in charge even after his bloated body dies.   Hugs

 

A diagram with the heading “A Guide to Your Police State” shows a large crowd of people including figures identified as...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#white people twitter from White People Twitter

 

 

 

#George Orwell from What Are You Really Afraid Of?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#Mango Mussolini from What Are You Really Afraid Of?

#Mango Mussolini from What Are You Really Afraid Of?

#Mango Mussolini from What Are You Really Afraid Of?

#Mango Mussolini from What Are You Really Afraid Of?

#Mango Mussolini from What Are You Really Afraid Of?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Al Goodwyn for 1/19/2026

 

 

Trump ice fishing

 

 

 

Greenback Green Greenland

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

US citizen says ICE removed him from his home in his underwear without a warrant

ICE snatched this old man from his home in his underwear taking him outside in the snow without once asking if he was a citizen and also without a warrant.  No warrant and not even knowing who he was, just that he looked different.  It took his son bring the ICE thugs his ID proving citizenship that they just left.  They did not help him inside or apologize, just left.  This is our tax dollars at work in the land of the free.  Hugs 

Federal immigration agents have detained a U.S. citizen in Minnesota at gunpoint without a warrant. That’s according to ChongLy “Scott” Thao, who says agents forced open his door, entered with guns drawn and led him outside in his underwear in freezing conditions.

Three MS Now Clips of tRump admin preparing to use US military against the people to prevent the people from using their constitutional right to protest and express their will. Are we a fascist dictatorship yet?

 

In the video below please notice the 8:17 mark how the little Nazi Bovino leads a large group of armed masked thugs into a crowd of people expecting and demanding they move aside for the gang thugs ICE rather than the ICE thugs respect the people.  They are filming it and hoping that one person will refuse to move so they can attack them as a pack and use it to claim ICE needs more authority along with the military.  This is pure little person bullied on the playground with his big brothers to back him up making all the other little kids move aside for him in fear.  This is the country they want to create and so far they are getting it.  Hugs

 

 

 

White House Panicked Over ICE Optics? Democrats Preemptively Cave | David Dayen | TMR

Sam and Emma talk to David Dayen about the fact that the left  / progressive members of democrats in congress and how Chuck Schumer is trying to quiet that side of the party.  Dayen is a political analyst.  He claims that the leadership of the Democratic Party is refusing to use this moment to use ICE actions as reason to use the only leverage they have, the budget battle.  Schumer caved the first time, he caved the second time, and has no stomach for even starting this time.   He wants to just fill out his time as majority leader knowing he likely won’t be elected again and get as many high end donors as possible to set himself up as wealthy in private life.   We need different leadership.  But right now we need the public to push the party if possible.  We need the democrats in office publicly going on TV and pounding the table over this.  Hugs.