In the previous post, I spoke on how I was so very tired of the political climate. One of the issues that I described was this constant stress of chaos that the drumpf administration purveys upon the American public and the world in general. Stress is debilitating. It leaves a person living in a constant state of fight/flight, questioning what we should be doing to survive the madness that is maga and a perpetual attack upon our empathy for those not so fortunate to only be stressed. There is a saying that goes generally that if you can’t do anything about it, don’t stress over it. But, I’m stressed.
Much of my stress is my own personal life challenges, but a lot of my stress comes in the realization that while I may hope to ignore those things that are beyond my control, others are not so free. How many lives have been destroyed in the turmoil of one man’s pursuit of totalitarianism? How many deaths do we lay at the feet of this conman? And worse, however reluctantly and contrary to our wishes, he is our leader and we are responsible for the atrocities he commits.
Let’s face it, he told us who he was before being elected – for the second damned time! He showed us he was a fraud, a rapist, a serial adulterer, a racist, a criminal. He stole from children, from his workers, from his wives.
So, right or wrong, earned or borrowed, stress presses down on me and many like me. And that chronic stress severely impacts our health by keeping us in that fight or flight reflex, leading to our burnout, mental impairment and physical illness. We struggle with chronic pain, insomnia, high blood pressure and a weakended immunity. We are anxious, depressed, and can’t remember why we came into the damned room!
Is this what it means to be an adult, or just an adult in the drumpf era? My god! I watch the news and find myself in line for ptsd treatment! What could be next? What ball will I drop next? What emotional eruption is next in line for me?
I’m so f’ing tired of being tired; I’m so f’ing tired of being depressed; I’m so very f’ing tired of being anxious.
Today one of my workers asked me if I was ok. He saw that I was angry, I guess. I laughed for a moment, told him I was fine and that my back was just hurting, that it was a typical Monday. He just stood there, in front of my desk and waited. And somehow I found myself very quietly saying no. I’m not ok.
I don’t really have the freedom to be anything but ok. I am the one that has to be there making sure things get done. I am supposed to be watching out for the morale of the team. I’m charged with the continuity of employment. I’m supposed to be the strong one, the boss. And there I was realizing that everything was broken, and there isn’t a damned thing I can do about it.
I don’t have answers to a damned thing, but today someone stopped what they were doing long enough to demonstrate that they cared, and I realized just how powerful that could be. It didn’t solve my problems, the sun didn’t shine any brighter and the birds weren’t singing overhead, but for a moment my burden was shared. For a moment I didn’t feel quite so alone. That made a huge difference. I hope I’m strong and wise enough to emulate that, and perhaps together we can outlast this too. Hugs.
A poor person calls in to explain how they have nothing and no way to live with all these cuts to social services. Horrific. The Democrats must promise to fix this and return the safety to the safety nets. Hugs
I have been promising this post since monday. But I have always been too tired or in too much pain to write it or post it. I am going to start this tonight but it is late for me and I may go to bed before finishing so it may take several days.
The fact is before I even went to my pain doctor to tell me the result I knew things were bad. In the morning I can only sit in my chair for at most two hours before I have to get up and do something that helps relieve the pain. Mostly that is going to bed. I don’t sleep just lay their reading news or telling my self stories I create hoping to fall asleep. Randy sent me a headband with speakers but that just interferes with my own thoughts and keeps me awake. It was a good try and I bought one for Ron and he loved it. I will give this one to him. I go to bed and lie there only to get up and sit for a couple of hours to have the pain again overtake me. Once the pain gets that bad it is 10 to 15 minutes at most before I have to leave the desk and simply walk around or do something because the pain gets so bad so fast.
Also Tupac is on the desk being as close to me as he can. He is not lying on the towel I leave down for him but as close to the keyboard as possible even at time placeing his paws on the on the keybord hitting random keys. He wants to be as close to me as possible since Ron has been away so long. He feels he lost another human. I will be exciteed t0 see him react when Ron gets home on monday night.
So before the doctor told me the damage I knew something was badly wrong. So remember that even before I talked to the doctor I knew something had gone drasticly wrong. Sadly the MRI showed that.
Yup figured that would happen the pain levels are too high so I am going to bed. It is 8 PM my time.
It is now Saturday and I am trying hard to get this post done and out. But today my pain levels are very high and it is difficult to focus but I will do my best.
One of the things that the doctor told me was that my spine is no longer aligned; the disks are not lined up with each other but shifted to different degrees. Remember this was only the lower spine now they are going to MRI the upper spine. Second my spine has curved wrong. Then we got to the serious stuff. Degenerative discs, bulging discs, and discs so damaged that the nerves are outside the spinal channel. The arthritis is so advanced it is deep / spread in each vertebra. She tried to explain all the medical terms. At one point she excused herself to go speak to the surgeon I see for spine shots. When she came back it was with bad news. He no longer thinks epidurals will help me in my lower spine and I need nuero surgeon to do back surgery. Crap I cannot afford that. I am losing my sight, Ron has to have eye surgery right away, and the van needs 2 grand in repairs. That doesn’t even include my eye surgery and the repairs on our home.
While I did not understand everything she said I so desperately wished Ron had been there as he often explained these things to me later, and I have forgotten some of it, the situation is I need an MRI of the upper spine as well, she has refered me to her prefered spianl nueraal surgenon. Then I will need spinal surgery as the state and federal government won’t let them increase my pain medication because I can’t take the fentanyl patches with my skin allergies. I am being squeezed into a surgery I cannot afford or seeking illegal drugs for relief to be able to function.
I remember when I started in this clinic in 2009. They looked at my MRI of my spine and gave me 75 gm of morphine twice a day. I asked it to be reduced to half that amount and it was and I could live normally. But after the opioid “crisis” the states started to inject non-medical legislators into the medical field to show they were tough on abuse and misuse of drugs. It got ever more crazy until my life went from normal and even being able to work for a few years to not even getting enough pain relief to sit in my desk chair and blog for an hour. Now the federal government is demanding it be restricted even further, as RFK Jr. taking steroids can work out in jeans. On the restrictions I can’t get enough relief to blog for any extended time of the day. I spend half of my awake time in bed instead of at my desk. I struggle to stand to do dishes. I just told Ron that I cannot clean the floors before he gets home as I tried and it left me in tears. Even with our lightweight, easy to use cleaning devices. The damage to my spine and the lack of medical relief have gotten that bad. This makes no sense to me. Why deny me the pain blocking medications that allow me to fuction semi normally. It simply makes no sense to me. Why put me in this state what is the goal?
Do you see my point? Why put me and people like me through this? Do they want us to use illegal means for relief, or do they want us to suffer to death and go away? Do they care about us at all as they make these rules? There is more things my pain doctor told me about my spine I did not list yet, things like protrusions, spikes hooking nerves, some thing she kept say stenoisis, and nerves being pinched between vertebrae. At one point she mentioned I have advance degerneritive disc, I so wish Ron was there as I understood so little of it, then came the but you need a neurosurgeon and back surgery to help you because the state and federal government won’t let us give you enough medical relief to have any life. I hate this regressive holier than thou republican elected officials that swallow all the illegal drugs they can get from their providers while denying us poor people relief for bigoted racist reasons and their personal gains.
I am sure I left things out. I had to take after talking to Ron a saved 30 miligarm instant relief morphine because I was going out of my mind. I try desperately to save extras so when the pain is so off the chart I can get relief. But with the new restrictions, how do I do that? Why do the people in power who have access to pill mills and who have no pain and want to just make a name for themselves while doing the very thing they legislate against try to hard to make the live so people like me so hard? And I am poor and scared. Hugs
A recent article from Jesse Singal in the New York Times seemed to indicate the organization might be quietly retreating from supporting trans youth care.
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Yesterday, anti-transgender activist and columnist Jesse Singal published a piece claiming there were “cracks in the wall” around gender-affirming care (which you can find fully fact-checked here). To make that case, he relied heavily on a statement from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons that bypassed the organization’s normal scientific review process and was advanced under pressure from leadership aligned with the Trump administration, including a president who is a major Republican donor. Singal also invoked the American Psychological Association, suggesting the organization was retreating from its 2024 position supporting transgender care and rejecting claims that gender identity is “caused” by external factors. But a representative for the APA tells Erin In The Morning that the organization stands firmly by its 2024 guidelines supporting transgender youth care and provided documentation indicating Singal mischaracterized its position.
“No, APA’s position has not changed,” says a representative speaking for the APA, attaching a link to their 2024 policy statement which provided broad support for gender-affirming care. “APA continues to support unobstructed access to evidence-based care for transgender and gender-diverse individuals of all ages.”
The 2024 policy statement is to date one of the most significant supportive stances of any medical organization for gender-affirming care. It states that gender-affirming medical care is medically necessary, opposes bans on gender-affirming care, declares that being transgender is not caused by autism or post-traumatic stress, establishes the organization’s support for combatting disinformation on transgender healthcare, and finds that rejection of a trans youth’s gender identity can increase their risk of suicide and harm their psychological wellbeing. The policy was passed overwhelmingly, 153-9, with each voter representing a large subset of the organization’s 157,000 members. Now, the organization says that it is not accurate to claim that there is any regression on support for transgender youth care from the organization.
The organization also disputes Singal’s portrayal of a 2025 letter written by Katherine McGuire to the Federal Trade Commission. In his piece, Singal claims the APA “cautioned that gender dysphoria diagnoses could be the result of ‘trauma-related presentations’ rather than a trans identity,” and noted that “co-occurring mental health or neurodevelopmental conditions (e.g., depression, anxiety, autism spectrum disorder) … may complicate or be mistaken for gender dysphoria,” framing this as evidence that the organization is retreating from its 2024 policy supporting transgender youth care. That interpretation is incorrect, according to an APA representative, who says the letter does not contradict the organization’s 2024 position and does not represent a regression in its support for evidence-based transgender care.
The FTC letter sent by APA Services was not saying that transgender identity can be caused by autism or depression. Rather, it was describing what any competent psychologist does with any patient: assess the whole person, including whether conditions like depression or anxiety are present. The letter does not say that depression or anxiety or autism cause gender dysphoria; it says that psychologists are careful about not mistaking these conditions for gender dysphoria. Notably, the letter was written in direct response to the Trump administration’s FTC, which had accused gender-affirming care providers of deceiving consumers, and McGuire was explaining that psychologists conduct thorough, individualized assessments—not that the organization’s position on care or “causes” of being transgender had changed. Had McGuire not indicated that psychologists were making these determinations, the FTC would likely then accuse the organization of not investigating its crank theories on gender dysphoria.
You can view the letter here:
American Psychological Assocation Response To Ftc Rfi Gender Affirming Care 9 26 2025 Signature (1)
“The 2024 policy statement and the 2025 FTC letter are consistent. The 2024 statement reflects the organization’s policy position on access to care. The 2025 FTC letter describes what competent psychologists do in individual clinical practice: they do not make generalized claims to families but instead provide individualized, evidence-based assessment. Both documents reflect APA’s consistent commitment to evidence-based psychological care,” says the representative.
The American Psychological Association’s reaffirmation of its support for transgender youth health care is significant. The organization is among several reportedly under FTC investigation as part of a broader effort to pressure medical bodies to retreat from transgender youth care. It is also facing a coordinated pressure campaign from anti-trans activists like Jesse Singal and outlets such as The New York Times, both of which have repeatedly sought to cast doubt on established standards of care. That context makes Singal’s portrayal especially consequential. Readers were left with the impression that the APA was backtracking. According to the organization itself, that is false. What Singal presented as evidence of “cracks in the wall” was yet another attempt to manufacture doubt around the professional consensus supporting transgender youth care.
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Here are the ingrediance I like in my sandwich tonight.
I start with heating the meats as I dislike cold foods. I then put the bread slices for two sandwiches on the plate and apply mustard to them.
Then the bread slices for the bottom which I put mustard on.
Then I add the first layer of meats.
Then the lettuce, which gives it a crunch.
Then the other meats.
Then more mustard on the top of the last meats.
Then the last of the bread and the cutting of the sandwiches. I like my slice on an angle.
And that is my supper tonight. I doubt I will eat again. But at least I ate. Now I am exhausted but want to stay up. It is not yet 4 pm here but I was up at 2 am because of Tupac and then I couldn’t get back to sleep finally fell asleep at 5:30 but woke at 6 after a nightmare and knew I wouldn’t be going to sleep again that morning. Hugs
Doesn’t make it better news, just local. I want to add:
This came about because there is a Republican supermajority in Kansas’s legislature. And that came about because the Republicans, who were in trouble in KS because of things they tried to pull (think Missouri/abortion, etc.) that voters don’t want, were worried that they could lose their majority in the Houses. They told Republican voters that if they didn’t keep a solid majority, there would never be a Republican elected ever again because Dems would redistrict Republicans to that place in Egypt. (But they weren’t that funny about it.) So, Republican voters, yet again, voted Republican even though they had strong misgivings, gave us a supermajority, and now the SOB legislators are doing what they, and only what they, want to do. And here we are on the trans issue, and it’s not the only issue they’re going to force.
I strongly, so strongly advise everyone reading to please please please pay attention to the down ticket elections, who is running, and what they’ve done and what they’re saying they’ll do. You have to elect people who understand they work for you, not vice versa. And now, on with the story.
Jaelynn Abegg, a trans rights activist from Wichita, leads a group of around 50 people who used bathrooms Feb. 6, 2026, throughout the Statehouse to demonstrate what she called the absurdity of a state bathroom ban. The same law that includes the bathroom ban also invalidates driver’s licenses for transgender people. (Photo by Sherman Smith/Kansas Reflector)
TOPEKA — Transgender rights activist Jaelynn Abegg was furious Thursday morning when she received a letter from the state informing her that her driver’s license had been invalidated because of a new state law.
Abegg, a Wichita resident, said she would only get a new driver’s license if she needs one before fleeing the state, which she plans to do as soon as she can afford it. In the meantime, she figures her U.S. passport will be “ID enough.”
“When things like this happen, I honestly get a little bit of a demon of rebellion in me, and I’m not sure exactly how I’m going to manifest that, if at all right now, but I can tell you that I’m very angry,” Abegg said. “I’m heartbroken. “This is my home state. I’ve lived here all but two years of my life, and yet, every year since I’ve been living as a woman and having come out as transgender, this state has done nothing but break my heart. If this state was a romantic partner, I would definitely call this an abusive relationship at this point.”
The Kansas Department of Revenue this week sent a letter to Kansans affected by a new law, which took effect Thursday, that requires the gender marker on a driver’s license to match a person’s sex at birth.
The letter informs trans Kansans that because the Legislature didn’t include a grace period for updating credentials, they are “invalid immediately, and you may be subject to additional penalties if you are operating a vehicle without a valid credential.” A spokesman for the agency told Kansas Reflector the law invalidated about 1,700 licenses.
The letter directed trans Kansans to surrender their driver’s license to the state before they can receive a new one, which will cost them $8.
“We apologize for the inconvenience this causes you,” the unsigned letter said.
Republicans in the Legislature placed transgender Kansans in their crosshairs at the start of this year’s session. The House Judiciary Committee scheduled a hearing with less than 24 hours notice on the second day of the session for a bill that would invalidate their driver’s licenses. The bill was a response to a Kansas Court of Appeals ruling last year that determined there was no harm in letting people change their gender markers, which Kansans have done since at least 2002 with no complaints.
A week after the rushed hearing, in a flurry of procedural maneuvers, the committee took action on the bill without warning. Republicans added language that would make it illegal for someone to use a public building bathroom, or similar space, like a locker room, that conflicts with their sex at birth. They then inserted the contents of the House bill into an unrelated Senate bill that passed the year before. That allowed the House and Senate to pass Senate Bill 244 the next day without ever holding a public hearing on the bathroom provision.
Democratic Gov. Laura Kelly vetoed the bill on Feb. 13. The House and Senate subsequently overrode her veto with all but one Republican, Rep. Mark Schreiber of Emporia, voting in favor of the bill.
Abegg, who organized a Feb. 6 “pee-in” protest, in which trans people and their allies filled a bathroom at the Statehouse, said lawmakers were “blatantly subverting the democratic process … because they know they’re going to get blowback.”
“This is a hallmark of a Legislature and of a government that has a deep, deep sickness in it, and it really saddens me that we’re living to see days like this, where there’s that sort of situation going on, and there’s not a greater public outcry about it,” Abegg said. “This should be a concern to everyone who values democracy and who values Kansas as a free state.”
Trans Liberty, a political action committee that fights for trans rights, issued its first-ever statewide evacuation order Thursday, when it urged transgender Kansans to flee.
Samantha Boucher, founder of Trans Liberty PAC, said in a statement there is “something deeply wrong with a government that erases its own citizens’ legal identities.”
Abegg said the warning to leave is “absolutely the right approach.”
“I don’t think that legislators in Kansas are done harassing trans people,” Abegg said. “I think that transgender health care for adults is coming next. It would not shock me within the next two to five years to see them come after name changes for transgender people. The cruelty has always been the point, and the objective has always been the complete erasure of transgender people from public life.”
Trans people and their supporters rally Feb. 6, 2026, at the Statehouse in opposition to Senate Bill 244. (Photo by Sherman Smith/Kansas Reflector)
Jessie Lawson, a trans woman from Wichita, initially planned to go to the DMV and refuse to pay for a new license, then decided against it.
“I can work from home and, for the moment, minimize the risk of getting pulled over,” Lawson said.
She said her first thought when she read the letter from the state was to wonder “how conservatives can live with so much fear and hate in their hearts.”
“Even at my most angry, I’ve never wanted to see an entire demographic of people wiped off the planet the way they do. It’s unreal,” she said. “The second thought is how I’m going to survive now that bigotry has been officially sanctioned by the state of Kansas.”
Lawson said she has wrestled with whether she should leave the state where she has lived her entire life.
“I have a great job and own my own home,” Lawson said. “All of my friends are here. Leaving would be very difficult for me. At the same time, this place is becoming increasingly hard for me to exist safely as bigotry takes more and more control of the state government.”
She added: “Please publish whatever you get from us. There needs to be a record that we existed and strove for peace and joy as long as we could.”
Rep. Brooklynne Mosley, D-Lawrence, posted on her Facebook page that she would be available Friday to drive people to the DMV to replace their birth certificates. She said she was willing to personally pay for up to five individuals’ fees if they have financial constraints.
The new law also affects birth certificates.
Jill Bronaugh, spokeswoman for the Kansas Department of Health and Environment, said individuals will be responsible for contacting the Office of Vital Statistics to replace their invalidated birth certificates, and a $20 fee will apply.
The agency identified 1,849 birth certificates on which the sex has been changed, which can be attributed to correcting data entry errors or recognizing gender changes, she said.
“Each amended birth certificate will be reviewed manually by staff to determine if the birth certificate must be invalidated and amended,” Bronaugh said. “This process is expected to take several months to complete.”
Scottie's Playtime 