Who Are The Crime-Fighters, & Who Are The Criminals?

Roof-Top Felon by Clay Jones

DC is so crime-ridden, that the top federal official is a 34-count felon Read on Substack

Despite the nation’s capital being at a 30-year low in crime, Donald Trump has now federalized it, installing 800 National Guard troops to patrol the city because a former DOGE guy (white dude) got slapped around by some kids.

Fun fact: National Guardsmen are NOT cops. They have not been trained in police work. What authority do they have?

During a rambling and slurry 80-minute press conference while flanked by goons such as Pam Bondi, Pete Hegseth, Kash Patel, and Jeannine Pirro (it gets worse as you go down the line), Trump talked about sending the military into other cities like Chicago, Los Angeles, New York City, and Baltimore. All cities with Black mayors.

This is going to be like Star Wars, where stormtroopers are stopping citizens on the streets, demanding to see their IDs.

During his rant, Trump said, “Our capital city has been overtaken by violent gangs and bloodthirsty criminals, roving mobs of wild youth, drugged-out maniacs and homeless people.” It’s illegal to be homeless now? Is it illegal to be young?

Every time I copy and paste one of Trump’s quotes, Grammarly loses its shit. I think it wants to scream at me, “THAT’S NOT HOW WORDS WORK!” (snip, and there’s MORE)

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Wanted by Clay Jones

From one criminal to another Read on Substack

Today on GoComics, a very ignorant and vile person claimed “leftists” are in favor of forever wars. That pissed me off. I wasn’t pissed because he insulted us, or that he called us “leftists,” and not even that he’s wrong. He uses “leftists,” as though he’s describing Daniel Ortega and Sandinistas. If you think there’s a comparison between Daniel Ortega and today’s Democratic Party, then you should talk to my friend Pedro Molina. I guess “liberal” isn’t scary enough for the MAGAts anymore. What pissed me off is that because of his ignorance and inability to understand our position, he took it upon himself to assign one for us.

It’s not just him. This is a talking point, and I hate talking points. Yeah, both sides have them, but while liberals will use them out of convenience, MAGAts use them out of ignorance and laziness. It saves them time and effort from actually researching. All MAGA cartoonists would prefer to use talking points rather than understand an issue. It’s also a cover for Russian dictator Vladimir Putin.

Besides all that, MAGA talking points are always bullshit.

I’m anti-war. I had a battle every day with my editor at The Free Lance-Star because I wouldn’t draw cartoons supporting the invasion of Iraq. If I’m not going to support an illegal invasion by my country, then why would I support one by Russia?

The idiots who claim we support forever wars support the guy who started the war in Ukraine. After Putin illegally invaded Ukraine over a flimsy excuse about Nazis, Donald Trump called him a “genius” for it. I wonder if Trump thinks he’s a genius for invading DC on a flimsy excuse that Big Balls was attacked.

Supporting Ukraine, that nation that did not start this war, and its right to defend itself from a much stronger aggressor does not mean I want the war to last forever. Supporting arming Ukraine for it to defend itself from an invading force stealing its land and killing its people doesn’t mean I want the war to last forever. Anyone who believes that is a lazy idiot. Speaking of lazy idiots…

Trump and Putin will sit down tomorrow in Anchorage, Alaska, to discuss the war in Ukraine. Trump is already prepared to reward Putin for his illegal invasion. Trump is proposing that Russia be gifted portions of Ukraine, which won’t be good enough for Putin. Putin wants the entire nation. If Trump were around in World War II, he would have given Hitler Poland. (snip; of course there is MORE)

Open Windows, Clay Jones

Caribou Fascists by Clay Jones

When’s the last time we heard from Sarah Palin? Read on Substack

The last time Trump and Putin held a summit, the two “presidents” met privately with only their translators present. Trump had a Russian translator, and Putin had one who could translate English and Word Salad. After the private confab, Trump took the translators’ notes, and some say he ate them, which is why he always travels with ketchup. Then they held a joint press conference where Putin didn’t have to deny that he meddled in the 2016 election, because Trump did it for him. During the summit, Putin gave Trump a soccer ball to give to his son and future serial killer, Barron, and Trump gave Putin his balls.

The International Criminal Court issued an arrest warrant for Putin in 2023 for war crimes, but just like Benjamin Netanyahu, he’ll visit the United States without any worries of Trump arresting him. Trump is too busy arresting black teenagers in the District anyway.

The major issue in this summit is ending the war, or at least obtaining a ceasefire between Russia and Ukraine, but they’re doing this without the involvement of Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky. Trump has done this before, making a deal with the Taliban for the US withdrawal from Afghanistan, without involving the government of that nation at the time. Don’t expect a peace deal to come out of this.

Maybe on the side, they’ll negotiate a new Trump Tower for Moscow. I mean, Trump negotiated business deals with Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and the UAE last time he was in the Middle East. Now I think that’s really going to happen. Maybe Putin will give him a used plane nobody else wants.

What will come out of it will be Donald Trump appeasing Putin and further embarrassing the United States in front of the world. Trump has already embarrassed us by choosing Alaska for the summit.

The US bought Alaska from Russia in 1867, which Russia has regretted ever since. Holding the summit in who-knows-where in Alaska gives Putin a nod that borders can change and land can be bought, sold, and conquered. Will Putin ask Trump to give Alaska back? Maybe he’ll convince TACO that it would be a historic deal. Or maybe Trump will trade Alaska for an Eskimo pie.

And no, we don’t know where in Alaska this summit is going to be planned. Will it be in Fairbanks, Juneau, or Anchorage? If it’s held in Sitka, it’ll be a huge gift to Putin, as that city was where the ceremony was held for Russia’s transfer of Alaska to America. Now, I think it’s going to be held in Sitka. (snip-MORE)

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Trump and his NFP hold a news conference by Ann Telnaes

The autocrat in chief announces his takeover of D.C.’s Metropolitan Police Department Read on Substack

I Don’t Know What This Says

about the day, or my mood, or maybe even the moon phase (full at around 2:30 tomorrow morning,) but I LOL’d at this top one. I’m including a few others for a little more fun.

https://www.gocomics.com/heathcliff/2025/08/08

https://www.gocomics.com/foxtrotclassics/2025/08/08

https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2025/08/08

https://www.gocomics.com/jerry-king-comics/2025/08/08

(For me, it’s my watch. I even bought a simpler one so I wouldn’t obsess, but I’ve found a way to obsess, anyway. sigh 😄 🏃 It just now buzzed me, so I gotta go do my 10 at 10!)

https://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2025/08/08

Sounds Good

https://www.gocomics.com/jim-benton-cartoons/2025/08/06

But Of Course!

Here’s to people staying off Democrats’s necks as they fight this in the same fashion. Gerrymandering hurts my heart; I live in a state gerrymandered to just barely inside the law. I don’t like it for any state no matter the majority, but. If one’s gonna do it, they all ought to.

Of course, if we had instant runoff voting and no parties, this wouldn’t be a thing. Everyone would have someone to vote For. And we’d be a democratic republic today. -A

Gerrymandered Balls by Clay Jones

Republicans are cheating again Read on Substack

What do Republicans cheat at more, golf or elections? It’s a tough call. But cheating at one of those things means that they’ll cheat at the other.

Republicans in Texas are trying to reshape their congressional districts, even though it’s not the time redistricting is normally done. Usually, that’s shortly after the results of the census are published (which is once a decade), and states redistrict according to the new population size, and to fit with possible changes, such as new districts or losing them.

During the last census, Texas picked up two congressional seats because its population grew during the 2010s. Since the Texas legislature is controlled by Republicans, they were able to draw up the district maps. Naturally, they redraw them to favor Republicans. It’s not like they would do it honestly. They’re Republicans.

This is called gerrymandering, and Texas is one of the most gerrymandered states in the nation. Wisconsin is number one.

Texas now has 38 congressional districts, with 25 of them going to Republicans, 12 going to Democrats, and one is currently vacant. But even after winning a huge majority after gerrymandering, 25 congressional seats are not enough for Texas Republicans, so they want to redraw the lines again in their favor.

Texas will be blue someday, or at least a swing state. The best way to keep people from sending Democrats to Congress is to take away Democratic candidates. After gerrymandering, voters are not choosing the candidate. The candidates are choosing the voters. It’s horrible, rotten, unfair, and neither party should do it. But Republicans don’t care if they cheat.

After Joe Biden won the presidency in 2020 in what experts say was the most secure election in American history, Republicans cried foul and set out to change election laws in every state. In Georgia, for example, where Biden won in 2020, and Blue areas are growing, Republicans changed voting laws, and Trump won over Kamala Harris in 2024 by just 2.20 percent. In Texas, they focused on changing the laws, not for every district, just the districts that had a majority of Black voters. They tried to make it as hard as hell to vote in Houston.

Republicans said all these changes were for election “integrity.” But how much integrity do you have when you make it illegal to give an old lady a bottle of water while she’s waiting in line for nine hours in the Georgia heat? It’s a fact that when fewer people vote, Republicans win.

The 2024 election, which Trump “won,” had fewer voters than in 2020, when Biden won. (snip-MORE)

Some Comics That Gave Me A Giggle This Morning

(I wait on news in favor of comics in the mornings on BP days.)

https://www.gocomics.com/bliss/2025/08/05

https://www.gocomics.com/broomhilda/2025/08/05

https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2025/08/05

https://www.gocomics.com/closetohome/2025/08/05

https://www.gocomics.com/darksideofthehorse/2025/08/05

https://www.gocomics.com/foxtrotclassics/2025/08/05

https://www.gocomics.com/jerry-king-comics/2025/08/05

Clay Jones

Kill The Messenger by Clay Jones

Dictators fire people for bad news Read on Substack

Firing people for delivering bad news is a fascist move. It was popular with the likes of Joseph Stalin, Saddam Hussein, and dare say it, Adolf Hitler. Trump and Hitler both fired generals they didn’t trust.

Sometimes it would be a census taker telling Stalin that his famine was reducing the population. He wouldn’t just be fired, but shipped off to a gulag, or even murdered. The first thing to go in a dictatorship is a free press.

Yesterday, the Commissioner of the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), Erika McEntarfer, delivered a negative jobs report. Trump, our Dear Leader and Fascist in Chief, didn’t like those numbers, so Hair Fuhrer fired her.

TACO said, “I’ve had issues with the numbers for a long time. We’re doing so well. I believe the numbers were phony, like they were before the election, and there were other times. So I fired her, and I did the right thing.” OK, Shitler.

Russia and China manipulate their economic numbers. Like Trump, they take apolitical agencies and politicize them. Yes, the BLS will now be politicized. People who don’t want to lose their jobs will only report happy news to Cheeto Mussolini. The government will be less informed. The American people will be lied to.

It will be like people in North Korea being told there is plenty of food while they’re staring at empty shelves in their markets. You’re not starving. Who are you going to believe, Kim Jong Un or your lying growling stomach?

Trump doesn’t want us to believe our lying eyes either. He’s lied about vote totals, crowd sizes, tariff formulas, and even weather forecasts. Remember when he tried to change a hurricane’s direction with a Sharpie. I can do a lot with a Sharpie, you’ve seen it, but I can’t move a hurricane with one. (snip-MORE)

Clay Jones

Stolen Women by Clay Jones

Trump thinks women are property…his property Read on Substack

If you are aware of a pedophile, and you enable that pedophile, then you’re as bad as a pedophile. So, what did Trump know? What did Trump do?

There is a video of Trump seeing a young girl going up an escalator in 1992, maybe she was a preteen, and he comments that he’ll be “dating” her someday. It’s creepy. It’s creepy like when he said he’d be dating his own daughter if they weren’t related. On another occasion, he said what he and Ivanka have in common is their love for sex. I just shivered.

I know relationships are different, but what father wants to talk to his daughter about his or her sex life? Ew. The most I ever talked to my mother about sex was shortly after my separation from my wife, and she said she hoped I wouldn’t fall in love with the first woman I slept with. I told my mother, “I haven’t fallen in love with either of them.” And she said, “TWO? TWO? I’m so ashamed and proud of you.” Unfortunately, my father wouldn’t shut up about his past exploits.

Trump is a creeper. When he endorsed Roy Moore for the Senate, he already knew about allegations of pedophilia against Moore. Trump’s defense was, “He said he didn’t do it.” That’s the same defense he used for Putin’s election meddling.

Whenever it’s a he-said-she-said situation, Trump will always go with he-said. (snip-MORE)

As Good An Explanation As Any-

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

By Zach Weinersmith |

https://www.gocomics.com/saturday-morning-breakfast-cereal/2025/07/30

Clay Jones, Open Windows

Henchman Pam Bondi by Ann Telnaes

who prosecutes on behalf of Trump Read on Substack

Bondi tweet:

(original hanging in the Hay-Adam’s Off the Record bar)

My colleague KAL has also a post about the coasters he, Matt Wuerker, and I created for the bar.

(Note from A: Click through on KAL’s-you’ll love it!)

Irritating Screechy Blowhole by Clay Jones

Look, Europe! Our president (sic) is a raving lunatic Read on Substack

It’s one thing for Donald Trump to display his deteriorating mental state here at home, like ranting about lightbulbs or batteries so heavy that they sink boats to waiting sharks, but it’s another thing for TACO to go overseas and reassure our friends and allies that the United States of America has an insane racist at the helm (he howled about immigration into Europe).

While sitting next to European Commission chief Ursula von der Leyen, Trump went on a rant about windmills…again.

Trump said in a long-winded rant, “And the other thing I say to Europe, we will not allow a windmill to be built in the United States, they’re killing us. They’re killing the beauty of our scenery, our valleys, our beautiful plains. And I’m not talking about airplanes, I’m talking about beautiful plains, beautiful areas of the United States, and you look up and you see windmills all over the place, it’s a horrible thing. It’s the most expensive form of energy; it’s no good. They’re made in China, almost all of them. When they start to rust and rot in eight years, you can’t really turn them off, you can’t bury them, they won’t let you. But the propellers, the props, because they’re a certain type of fiber that doesn’t go well with the land, that’s what they say. The environmentalists say you can’t bury them because the fiber doesn’t go well with the land; in other words, if you bury it, it will harm our soil. The whole thing is a con job.”

Keep in mind, Trump’s Environmental Protection Agency is fighting its own power to fight Climate Change. Talk about a con job. (snip-yadayada [Trump] I mean MORE)